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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398348">Saint</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir'>Jay2Noir</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aphephila, Awkwardness, Blow Jobs, Central Park, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Christmas, Come Marking, Come Shot, Cum Marking, Cum shot, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Dry Humping, Explicit Consent, F/M, FIRST CHAPTER ONLY, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Love, First Time Blow Jobs, Fist Fights, Fluff, Hangover, Happily Ever After, Happy Ending, I Love You, Ice Skating, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Virginity, Lust at First Sight, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Morning Sex, New York City, Oral Sex, Orphanage, Orphans, Pet Names, Possessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Rags to Riches, Reader-Insert, Running Away, Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Tag As I Go, Temperature Play, True Love, annie au, princess Saint</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>111,564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You had known nothing but the Orphan life. Seventeen years of empty bellies, raggedy, torn up, clothing, and seventeen years of facing Miss. Hanagan's wrath any time you or any of your orphan sisters did something Hanagan didn't like. Caring for your younger sisters earned you the nickname "Saint," a name that you hated that you had to live up to, but if no one was going to take care of the younger kids then you would have to.<br/>Running away had earned you your harshest punishment of isolation in the attic, and just days before your 18th birthday, the day you were to be turned loose and left to fend for yourself, a letter arrives from Kylo Ren, the youngest billionaire of all of New York City, inviting you to spend the entire month of December at his mansion. It's like a dream come true for you, to live in the lap of luxury right before becoming homeless.  Spending time with the man that had made this all possible for you proves to be mediocre and embarrassing at first, but after a while you find that he does start to soften up. Surely someone as wealthy as he is wouldn't be this fond of someone who was an orphan all of their childhood life. Surely, Kylo Ren cant be as into you as you think he is.<br/>An Annie AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>205</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*Content Warning for this first chapter only: Child abuse/neglect.<br/>**There will be absolutely no underage sex/ attraction at all in this fic. I am very sensitive to matters such as this.</p><p>You guys won't believe the bad luck I've had these last few weeks. My son was in the ER and had to be tested for the virus, which came back negative but positive for another respiratory virus. Said virus then got passed around my house and all of us had to be quarantined until we were all better. School's been canceled until further notice, my husband and I are both essential employees so we're still going to work during all this madness, and the only thing that's been keeping me together is the fact that Animal Crossing released on my Birthday last week. Today, the official word came down from my governor that my state, Maryland, is going on lockdown tonight, which means the last little shard of hope I had for celebrating my son's 3rd birthday next week at my mother's house is dashed. I'm just so torn up, and I miss writing so much that I stopped every other project I was working on and cranked out a few chapters of this story so that I could share it sooner. Please enjoy it, and know that this is going to be a happy, feel good, story with very few ups and downs and a good ending.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Everyone has parents. Everyone has a biological mother and father that got together one day to make a child. Some people have good parents that would do anything for their precious little ones. Some people have mediocre parents that fuck around and don’t pay attention to their children. Some people have one parent, and even no parents. Whether it was from death, abandonment, abuse, or any combination of the three, it happens. It happens more than anyone is willing to admit, and it happened to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They called you Saint. Your parents, whoever they were/are, left you on the stoop of the girl’s orphanage 17 years ago and never came back. That’s how you ended up with no parents. All you knew was Miss Hanagan and the other orphan girls. And it was a rotten, hard knock life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not enough food. Not enough clothes. Not enough heat in the winter and cool in the summer. Not enough love. Not enough of anything for you and the nine other girls you grew up with. On more than one occasion you had to split your already too small meals with one of the younger girls who you felt didn’t get enough food. You were also known to share your bed with those little girls that got scared in the night, calling out for their </span>
  <em>
    <span>mommies, </span>
  </em>
  <span>as if their </span>
  <em>
    <span>mommies </span>
  </em>
  <span>would show up out of the blue and take care of them. You hated it. You were bitter and you would always call them “annoying” when you had to do these things. You guessed why that’s why they called you Saint, and you did your best to live up to the nickname even though you were bitter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your parents left you with a note, declaring their love for their newborn daughter that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect in every way.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It said you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never cried, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you</span>
  <em>
    <span> never whined, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and your parents knew you’d grow up to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>great things. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But it would seem the only other people that believed in that were your orphan sisters, the ones that you didn’t get into fights over on a regular basis. The younger ones that would cry on your shoulder when their bellies would grow sore in hunger, or the ones that would ask you to braid their hair up the only way you knew how. If being great meant being a mother to the six girls that depended on you, then you were great. But you hated being great.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time you ran away was at age six by throwing yourself from the third story window after being made to scrub the entire bedroom floor with a toothbrush. You had been caught sneaking macaroni into a small, doll sized teacup to feed to Sicily, the newest orphan who was only four, and Miss Hanagan made your sisters laugh and throw wet washcloths at you as you scrubbed. You could tell Jordan, the one that had bullied you since the beginning, enjoyed it the most. It was only after punching her in the mouth while she slept that you threw yourself from the window, and when you hit the ground your leg snapped into two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even still, you took off running. Down the New York City roads as fast as you could in your light, flimsy nightgown. The pain from your broken leg hurt, but the pain of knowing it was either get away or continue to suffer was worse. You didn’t get very far before a citizen who had witnessed the entire thing picked you up and carried you to the hospital where your leg was set and Miss Hanagan was called. You cried the entire time, begging them not to let her take you back, but when she showed up she showed up with tears in her eyes. “Oh, my little Sainty,” She cried. “I was so worried about you!” She took your face in her hands and kissed your forehead. The doctors and nurses stood by and smiled as they felt it was an emotional reunion, but to you it was a nightmare. Eventually you were released with a set of crutches and cast, taken back to the orphanage where the girls stared at your casted leg in awe. Jordan, who you would later learn was the catalyst of you being caught, snickered, and Miss Hanagan made an example out of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint here, decided she no longer wanted to live here, with our tight-kit, loving family.” She started out, shoving you into your flimsy, sunken in mattress. “And you know how she paid her price? She broke her leg! Racking up a hospital bill so large that you wouldn’t even be able to wrap your small minds around.” You started to cry as all of the other girls looked at you with fear in their eyes. “So you know what that means for the rest of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Miss Hanagan.” They all said in perfect sync. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That means, in order to pay me back for this chunk of change </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>now owe to the hospital, nobody eats for </span>
  <em>
    <span>a week!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> There was a collective gasp around you, and then Miss Hanagan turned and walked out of the room. She mumbled something about how the State didn’t pay her enough for take care of you </span>
  <em>
    <span>brats,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you had never felt more unwanted in your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks a lot, Saint.” Jordan mumbled under her breath, slinking back to her bed and “accidentally” tripping over your casted leg. Some of the older girls cast you dirty looks as well, but one of the youngest, Vivian, ran straight up to you and hugged you as hard as she could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you lived, Saint.” She whispered in your ear. “Even if I don’t get to eat, at least I have you back.” She smiled, showing off her missing front tooth. You had never felt more loved in your life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You continued to run away all throughout your years as a ward of the state, successfully making it from New York City all the way to Georgia on a freight train with some other drifters at age 17. You kept yourself safe with a knife that you had stolen from a man that was unpacking newspapers. You were living happy with a group of homeless people under a bridge, at least until you were caught breaking and entering into an abandoned office building for some shelter from the rain. Hanagan had reported you missing, and when you were booked you were positively identified as one of her missing girls. You were hauled off in the custody of the Toccoa city police department and returned to Hanagan's stoop, where you were snatched up by your collar and dragged all the way up to the attic where you were made to live for the next three months of your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was cold and lonely. Hanagan somehow got her hands on a pair of police-grade handcuffs and cuffed you to an exposed pipe in the wall so you couldn’t go anywhere. The entire three weeks you had only seen your sisters when they carried your much smaller plate of food up to you once a day, and each and every time they looked terrified of you. “Miss Hanagan told me I can’t talk to you.” The youngest would whisper. The older ones wouldn’t say anything at all. It was heart breaking, and you only found out why two days into your sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all wanna end up like Saint?” You heard Hanagan scream out from below you. You jumped when the hatch to the attic suddenly jumped up as if it was being hit by something below it. “Running away, ungrateful for what I’ve provided for you? Because this is what you’re going to get!” You heard the girls in succession moan ‘Yes Miss Hanagan,’ and you rolled your eyes. You were trying your best to pretend like being up here in isolation wasn’t bothering you. Scowling and mumbling to yourself about how much you hated Hanagan, and about how you were going to kick her ass and leave for good when you got out of these cuffs. But on the inside, it was much different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the only life you had known. Seventeen years of empty bellies, borderline physical and verbal abuse, and definite emotional abuse until you felt like you didn’t feel anything but torment. Seventeen years of looking at nine other girls that were in the same situation as you and only wishing the best for them. Seventeen years of learning to hate yourself and everything around you. This had been the final straw. You lost your perseverance when you heard the girls nervously chanting below you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Saint is a bad person! </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was quiet at first, they all sounded unsure of themselves until you heard the crack of a broom handle against the wooden floors. It was a fear tactic Hanagan often used that especially scared the younger kids but it stopped working on you and the older girls a while ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said </span>
  <em>
    <span>louder!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She bellowed above the girl's voices, and they followed suit almost immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Saint is a bad person!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>They yelled as loud as they could. The tears started to form in your eyes. This wasn’t anything new. Hanagan had been making you feel like a bad person all of your life. But to hear your sisters chanting it, under Hanagan’s abusive spell like cult memebers, was different. To them, you weren’t a bad person. You were their savior. Their mother. The one person that actually gave a damn about them. And there they were. Calling you a bad person like they believed it. With your one arm unable to move more than a foot you covered your entire face with one hand and finally gave in to your tears. Seventeen years of pent up stress and hatred finally making its way out in the form of anguish filled tears. This was the first time you had been truly alone in seventeen years, and you were breaking down like there would be no tomorrow. You deserved it. You were angry. Angry at Hanagan, at your sisters, at yourself and, especially, at your parents. How could they have left an infant in such conditions? How could they have just abandoned you? Subjecting you to seventeen full years of nothing but negativity that you were certain you’d never overcome. You cried. You writhed. Your body wracked with woe. You couldn’t believe that you had been dealt this hand of cards in life. It hardly seemed fair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You continued to cry over the involuntary chants of your sisters, but it all so suddenly stopped and soon you were left with just the sounds of your misery. “Saint is going to be stuck up there until she turns 18 next week. Then she’s on her own!” Hanagan shouted, her voice laced with pure hatred to you. The third time you had been reported as a run away the board of orphans had made a visit and threatened to shut the orphanage down if anything like this happened again. Ever since then Hanagan had dragged you back to the orphanage herself, but you assumed you had gone too far for her this time which is why she contacted the police. The board had probably threatened her again after this run, and if you ran away again she would be in big, big trouble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say your goodbyes while you can, because the day she turns 18, none of you will ever see her again!” The girls moaned ‘yes miss Hanagan’ in unison, and then you heard the telltale sign of little feet scattering away from Hanagan's loud, obnoxious footsteps. You were alone, and you had a chance to fully remember that your birthday was next week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>December 4th, 1933 was the day you were born, and December 4th 1951 is when you would finally become an adult. Your skin went cold as you thought about what that would mean. No longer would you be in Hanagan’s clutches, no longer would you have someone watching you over your shoulder, breathing down your neck and abusing you every second of the day. You would be free, have to fend for yourself like you did in Georgia. It almost felt like bliss, at least until you realized that being forced out of the orphanage would also mean you’d have to leave your sisters here. They would be alone, have no one to fight for them and be their voice against Hanagan as you were. Jordan sure wasn’t going to do it, Jordan cared about nothing but herself just as Hanagan did. It’s no wonder she often gave Jordan more food, gave her better clothes and cleaner sheets. You hated Jordan, and you wondered what she would do to your other sisters after you left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now everything was quiet. You had spent so much time running away and had never thought about what this place would be like without you. As badly as you tried to look at it as a good thing, as if you were being released from prison, you found yourself sulking about it. If only you could take even just the youngest child with you, you would be happy. But no. Hanagan wanted you gone and she didn’t care what would happen to you--or your sisters-- afterword. Once again, you placed your hand over your head and cried. No matter what happened in your life, it felt like you would never win.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Each day Hanagan would cycle through your sisters every day to bring you your food. All of the younger ones would hug you and cry, asking you if you were really going away and if you would ever come back. Your heart broke over and over again each time you had to tell them their worst fears, that once Hanagan gave you the boot you’d never come back. Each day crawled by, and each day you got closer to your birthday you wished you could just run away, to leave on your own terms to avoid the heartbreak that would come on the 4th. Scilly, who was now 12, hugged you and refused to let you go, resulting in Hanagan having to come up and rip her from your neck. While she was there she reminded you that there were only a few more days before you were gone, and you could tell she couldn’t wait. It was the worst feeling to be so hated, but little did you know things were about to change, and change so suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next few days the girls came up less and less, and at one point Hanagan was the only one delivering your meals. She would hardly even come up, simply poking her head up from the door and sliding your food across the floor to you. But today, a day before the first of December, was different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint!” She yelled, startling you from a rather uncomfortable sleep up against the wall of the attic. You lifted your head and rubbed your eyes, allowing them to adjust to Hanagan who was squeezing her large body through the attic door and advancing toward you. “Got news for you, kid.” She announced with an annoyed huff. Once she had finally made it to your immobile body and pulled a piece of paper out from her dress pocket and threw it into her lap. You went through a range of emotions, one being terror as you thought she was kicking you out early to diluted excitement when you thought someone was finally going to adopt you just a week or so before your 18th birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is, is someone going to adopt me?” You asked as you picked up the paper and unfolded it. Your hopes were higher than they probably should have been and, of course, it didn’t take long for Hanagan to kill your excitement before it got too far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no one’s adopting you.” She sneered, placing her hands on her hips and scowling at you. “You’re too old to be adopted, read the damn paper.” You braced yourself as her harsh words penetrated your hardened exterior. You tried not to let it bother you, instead turning your attention to the paper in your hand:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To the Lucky Recipient of this Letter,</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>On behalf of Ren and Warbucks enterprises, we’d like to congratulate you on being the lucky child who will spend the entire month of December in CEO Kylo Ren’s mansion! We offer you this experience in the hopes of providing child who is less fortunate the Christmas experience of their dreams. There will be dances, parties, lavish food and clothing provided for you. We do hope that you’ll accept and spend the holidays with us at the Ren estate!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sincerely, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Grace Farrel, Assistant to CEO Kylo Ren.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this another one of your cruel jokes?” You asked, tears brimming in your eyes once again. This sounded like the deal of a lifetime, a deal that not only you would kill and die for, but anyone of your sisters would and certainly any other orphan out there. Hanagan snorted, and your homes almost immediately dashed. The letter wasn’t for you. She was just showing off an opportunity you couldn’t have, one that she was probably giving to Jordan while she was planning on how she could humiliate you when she kicked you out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s for you,” She said quite matter of factly, and you took another look down at the pretty, seemingly handwritten letter in your hands. “You weren’t my first choice, but all of the other brats came down with pneumonia. You were spared, so you’ll have to do.” Clearly Hanagan regretted having to give the letter to you of all of her oprhans, but in a split second she didn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo Ren was the youngest CEO of all of New York City. He was also the youngest man to earn a billion dollars in one year, and he was putting in all this hard work almost by himself. His father bought the business from a man called Warbucks, and Kylo was manning it all by himself. It was admirable for sure, and to spend an entire month in the Ren estate, being cared for by maids and living like a millionaire, was the deal of a lifetime. You felt your heartbeat rise to an unimaginable level. You would have much preferred that one of your younger sisters to go and have a ball, but obviously if they were all bedridden with pneumonia that wasn’t a possibility. You wouldn’t put it past Hanagan to punish them by leaving all of the windows in their bedroom open, thus infecting all of them with the deadly illness at one time. By all means, you felt horrible for them, but after spending weeks in the attic chained to a pipe all by yourself, you felt like the freedom you were being awarded was perfect. The fact that Hanagan was angry about it was like revenge to you, and you couldn’t wait to show her how happy you would be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you say to me, since I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowing </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to go on this little vacation?” She asked, leaning forward and smiling slyly at you. This was an intimidation tactic she had been using ever since you could remember.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Miss Hanagan.” You said as enthusiastically as you could while still being held here against your will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what else?” She pried deeper, and this time you could hold back the rolling of your eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, Miss Hanagan.” You groaned, and took solace in her clearly faked smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, good, little orphan girl,” She chided, turning around and beginning her ascent out of the attic. Your heart grew heavy when she turned around. You thought you’d be leaving right away, but evidently not. Hanagan was going to punish you for making it to Georgia for as long as she could, even if that meant torturing you up until the last second in her custody. “You deserve it, Sainty. You really do. Especially since you won’t be in my custody when you return to the harsh reality.” In a matter of seconds your face dropped into a frown. You hadn’t even thought about how you were going to turn 18 during your stay. Come January when you really did have to go back to reality, you’d be homeless. To literally go from rags, to riches, and then back to rags was a horrifying thought, but there truly wasn’t anything you could do about it now. All you could do was enjoy your month as a rich person, celebrate your birthday, and worry about January when the time came. It was like a goodbye party for your torturous childhood, and you were determined to enjoy it as much as you could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Consider it the one and only Christmas present Miss Hanagan will ever give you, girl. They’re taking you tomorrow.” She said, once again squeezing herself into the door and shutting it behind her. When she was gone you huffed to yourself, cursing her under your breath. Hanagan didn’t matter. You would be free from her soon, and wouldn’t have to worry about what she was going to do to you. Instead, you worried about what she’d tell your sisters. You worried about how they would cope without you, what they would think of you and how they’d remember you. It was still so depressing, but you had to look on the brighter side. Even if it were just for one month, you were going to live as lavishly as you could. You had to be grateful, even for just this one moment in your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun would come out tomorrow. It was only a day away. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The sun rose the next day, and you eagerly waited for Hanagan to come upstairs and take you for your daily shower allowance. You had to wait on her for everything now: the bathroom, the shower, food, and even just to stretch your legs. It was torture, but you kept your chin up. Today was the day, the day when you could live like a millionaire for one month before you were on your own. You kept your mind busy by imagining what it would be like. What kind of food you’d eat, what kind of bed you’d sleep in. In your mind, it would be perfect. Everything you had ever wished for would be waiting for you on the Ren mansion’s doorstep. The only thing that would be missing would be lovely parents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Parents. Who needs them? You had yourself and that’s all you needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could hear Hanagan’s heavy footsteps pounding below you, followed by her obnoxiously loud voice. “Stay your sick asses in your room!” Hanagan shouted. Clearly she had been talking about your sisters. You pitied them. Pneumonia was nothing to play with, you had already had it once as a little girl. Hanagan was a witch, but she wasn’t cruel. She’d bring your sisters back to health, would probably complain about it the entire time and then hold it over their heads forever. At least that’s what she did to you when you first came down with it. Oh well. You tried to push the thoughts out of your head. Hanagan would take care of them, there was no doubt about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally you heard her step up under the attic door, and before you knew it her big head full of unkept hair was peeking at you from the floor. She was glaring at you, like you were the root of all evil, like she resented having to send you to the Ren mansion. You tried to look as innocent as you could, knowing that if you showed too much enthusiasm Hanagan could take the opportunity away from you. You stared at her, not even offering her a smile, until she finally made her way up the ladder and over to your wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Todays the day, isn’t it?” She asked you as you dug into her dress pocket for the key. “Bet you’re excited, ain't ya?” She inserted the key into the cuff and freed your arm, and you really felt like you could get up and run away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Miss Hanagan.” You said as you stood, stretching your legs after a long night of being unable to do anything. It had been a long month just about, sitting against this wall an only being able to move once a day--if that. You were excited for freedom, even if it was only temporary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get down there and shower,” Hanagan said as she hovered over you, all the way to the hatch until she clasped your wrist and stopped you in your overly excited tracks. “And I’d better not hear anything about you bad mouthing me. You may be being turned loose come the first of January, but I won’t have you tarnishing my reputation.” You bit back the urge to roll your eyes at her. That wasn’t among your plans, to expose her. What if you did and your sisters were all put out on the street, or worse? At least here they were able to eat at least twice a day and have a roof over their heads. Hanagan had never laid a hand on you or any of your sisters, just delivered several empty threats of doing so--which was just as bad. You also wondered what the repercussions would be on them if you did say anything. What would Hanagan do to them if she got the bad press? It hardly seemed worth it when you would be on your own come the first of the year. You planned to just keep your lips shut about the matter, ending the conversation with a submissive ‘Yes Miss Hanagan,’ as you had been taught.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You showered, put on the nicest clothes you owned before wandering out of the bathroom and down the hall toward your room that you shared with your sisters. As quietly as you could, you opened the door and took a look at all of your sleeping sisters. They all looked pained, all held distressed looks upon their faces as they took deep, uneven breaths there in their beds. You stepped in, closing the door slowly as to not wake any of them up. The first set of beds belonged to you and Jordan, with your bed already being stripped and folded up. You stepped in between the two beds, looking at Jordan as she lay bundled up on her stomach. The clock on the wall read 6:20 AM, meaning the girls wouldn’t be up for another four hours for Hanagan’s sub-par homeschooling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Jordan.” You whispered to her, and of course you got no response. She was only a year younger than you and she held animosity for you for one reason or another, but you’d still miss her. You stepped forward in between the second set of beds that housed Nicollette and Amber, both girls that were sixteen. You said your goodbyes to them, found contentment when Amber opened her eyes and reciprocated your goodbye. You smiled, stepped forward again and said your goodbyes to Sicily and Arielle, Molly and Annie, and finally, the two youngest at the end of the row next to the windows. Bailey was only five, and Tamar who was seven. You had been there for them since their first day in the orphanage, and you couldn’t imagine that they’d be okay when they woke up and found you were gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You crouched down next to Tamar’s small, curled body, pushed her hair behind her ear as she shivered. She was running a fever, her body trying its hardest to heal her. “Goodbye, Tamar.” You whispered just loud enough for her to hear. Her eyes flew open and she stared deathly at you. Her mouth hung open as a fragmented wheeze escaped past her lips. Clearly she was in a lot of pain sleeping this close to the window. You couldn’t just leave her here; you had to do something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint!” She groaned, continuing to gasp for any little breath she could take. Her tiny, normally cute and childish voice was now harsh and hoarse, seemingly aging her several years. You shushed her, not wanting her to wake the other girls. Quietly you crept across the floor to your old bed, unfolded the mattress and dressed it before returning to the two girls next to the window. Gently, you roused Bailey, pulling her from her covers and leading both girls by the hand to your bed. With both of their blankets over your shoulder you first lifted Tamar, then Bailey into your bed and tucked them in. They both stared at you, barely able to function you wondered if they even knew what was happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you later, kids.” You said as you placed the pillow behind their heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye Saint.” Tamar moaned, almost immediately closing her eyes. Bailey followed suit shortly after, not even repositioning herself. Her eyes shut and you watched her drift back to sleep. It was depressing, to know you’d never see any of them ever again. They were needy, clingy, and annoying, all of them were, but you still felt like they were your kids in a way. You stood up straight, backing away toward the door and taking one last look at all of the orphan girls you’d be leaving. Even Amber had gone back to sleep at that point, and you weren’t even sure if the younger ones knew you were leaving for good. You fought the lump in your throat as hard as you could as you stepped into the hallway and shut the door. You’d miss them, more than even you were willing to admit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Downstairs you sat on the bottom step and laced up your boots. You heard Hanagan speaking to someone in her office not too far away, and it almost sounded as if she were arguing with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t tell the board of Orphans!” She cried. “Saint is seventeen years old, I hardly have a grip on the girl, she’s so out of control!” You pouted, laced your boots even harder as you listened to Hanagan ramble on and on about you. You weren’t out of control, you were just defending yourself. You didn’t even know who she was talking to, but you knew it couldn’t be good if she was begging for forgiveness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miss Hanagan, I haven’t the slightest idea of what you’re talking about,” The other voice answered. She sounded patient and soft, as if she held more empathy for you than Hanagan ever had in your entire life. “But if it has something to do with the police, perhaps the Board of Orphans should know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Christ!” Hanagan shouted, and you could hear her frantically running about in her office. “Okay, okay, take the girl. Just don’t tell the Board of Orphans. The other girls, the sick, precious angels that have pneumonia would be forced out on the street, out of my care and they’d have no one.” Hanagan pleaded, softening her voice and pulling as much sympathy as she could. Clearly you were missing part of the conversation. It made you sick. She didn’t give a damn about your sisters like you did. She was just trying to cover her ass so that she didn’t go to jail. It was maddening, but you’d be simply walking out the door any minute now. It wasn’t worth being angry when it simply wouldn’t be your problem in a few moments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As you laced up your second boot you heard footsteps approaching the door, and as soon as it opened you were face to face with who you consider to be the most beautiful woman you had ever met. Her voluminous, curly black hair was tucked neatly under a cobalt blue hat. Her brown skin was smooth, rich, and seemed to glow even in the dim light of Hanagan’s hallway. Her clothing matched her hat, cobalt blue and extremely elegant. Her clothing was so high end her in her entirety stuck out against the poor, run down conditions of Hanagan’s orphanage. She smiled sweetly at you, and you knew she must have come from the Ren Mansion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Saint is it?” She asked you, holding out her gloved hand for you to shake. You stood from the bottom step and reached out, shaking her hand just as you were taught to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, yeah,” You mumbled, feeling quite inferior to someone that held such a higher social status than you. You were almost intimidated by her, but her look of kindness never faltered and you quickly realized that she was not judging you. “That’s my nickname.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s very nice to meet you Saint.” She smiled, her perfect white teeth appearing from between her blood red lips. She put you at ease, and now more than ever were you ready to trade Hanagan’s orphanage for Ren’s mansion. “I’m Grace Farrel. I’m here to take you over to the Ren mansion. If you’re ready, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, believe me Ms. Farrel. I’m ready!” You said, reciprocating her smile right back to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, shall we get your coat and get going then?” She giggled softly at you, but at the mention of a coat your mood immediately tanked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A coat?” You asked her, as if she’d be able to help you. Her content smile faded into a concerned frown. “I don’t have a coat.” You confessed. You had never been allowed to leave the orphanage before, so Hanagan didn’t see any reason to get you a coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s at the dry cleaners.” Hanagan stepped in, pushing you off to the side. “It got dirty when she, you know, hopped all those damn trains.” You peered past Hanagan’s portly body and saw Grace staring her down disapprovingly. You figured she wasn’t buying Hanagan’s bullshit either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright then,” She sighed, her eyes meeting yours once more. “Come, Saint. We can purchase you one on the way.” She held your arm out for you, and you knew it was officially time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye Miss Hanagan.” You spoke as you nearly flew into Grace’s arms. You could feel the anger from her eyes burning into the back of your head. You knew she hated you now more than ever since you were going to be living a life more lavish than she ever had, even if it were only temporary. Grace draped her arm over your shoulder, looked down and flashed a reassuring smile at you before steering you toward the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to have fun,” She said as she opened the door for you. “Mr. Ren is waiting eagerly for your arrival. He can’t wait to give you the Christmas of your dreams.” For the first time in what seemed like forever, you could feel yourself glowing with joy. This was the happiest you had been since the moment you were left on Hanagan’s stoop. For the first time in your entire life, someone was showing you compassion and taking care of you because they wanted to, not because they were being paid pennies by the state to do so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Outside of the orphanage, sitting there just waiting for you and for Grace, was a black car. The exhaust spilled from the rear of the car in a white cloud of smoke, enhanced no doubt by the cold air that surrounded it. The two of you stepped up to it while Grace held the door open for you, and you gingerly stepped in. The seats were leather and the car looked to be brand new. Much better than the rickety piece of junk that Hanagan would drive whenever she needed to take you somewhere--which was seldom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You scooted yourself all the way to the other end of the car, pressing yourself against the door as Grace so majestically situated herself next to you. “Driver, take us to Bella’s before heading toward Ren Mansion.” Grace spoke, and you swore you could have felt your heart leaping into your throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bella’s?” You asked her. You thought you had heard her incorrectly. Bella’s was far too expensive for an orphan like yourself. Only the richest of the rich wore Bella’s attire, and you had even heard a rumor once that one necklace could easily cost more than a car. Never in your life did you imagine yourself wearing Bella’s attire, and the reassuring look Grace gave you told you that you deserved to be dressed so nicely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren has said he wants his visitor to be dressed and treated just as nicely as the rest of us that he employs.” You couldn’t stop the smile that spread over your face at her words. For a moment, you wondered if this is what it was like to have a mother. Only a mother could assure someone so sweetly like this, only a mother would dress you in the finest clothing, even if you didn’t feel like you deserved it. You looked at her long and hard, suddenly consumed by sadness over the realization that no one had ever been this nice to you and, likely, no one ever would ever again. Save for, perhaps, Kylo Ren. If his assistant was this kind and caring over you, you couldn’t wait to find out what he was like!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bella’s wasn’t too far away from the orphanage. After about ten minutes the car pulled up to the curb. Grace opened the door and stepped out, and you followed close behind her. You didn’t realize that the orphanage was this close to the richer district of the city. The people who walked past you looked so far out of your league. They were dressed in the finest of clothing, wore the fanciest shoes and the most expensive jewelry you had seen. Some of them looked at you and smiled, but you couldn’t help but to think that you stuck out like a sore thumb. Clearly you didn’t belong here, but it didn’t matter. Grace said she would buy you a new coat, and you would cherish that coat for as long as you could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened and a bell chimed above you. A woman dressed in a sharp black skirt suit lifted her eyes from the counter to the two of you and smiled as her eyes laid on Grace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Gracie.” She said, her heels clicking loudly across the floor as she approached the two of you. The woman placed her arms onto Grace’s and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, and Grace basked in the friendly glow. The two stylish women fit in perfectly in this store, moved so naturally that you thought they could live here no problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Elle,” Grace answered back, finally falling away from the shop owner. “I’ve just come to get my new friend here a new coat.” Grace smiled down at you, and you thought for a moment she was proud of you. Of what, you didn’t know. But her smile said things to you that you had never heard before in your life. You stepped a little bit closer to her, wishing you could hug her for just one moment really. She was like your savior, and you had only known her for less than half an hour. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah! Is this the, er, orphan?” The woman, Elle, asked her, cutting her eyes nervously at you for just a moment. Your excitable mood began to tank at the confirmation of judgement. You felt broken as your fears were confirmed right in front of you. The woman didn’t want you here; you were far too poor for this store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, yes. She goes by Saint, and she’ll be spending the entire month of December with us at the estate.” Grace said, taking ahold of your shoulders and giving you a reassuring squeeze. She could probably tell that you were discouraged by Elle’s reluctance, and you appreciated the gesture. Elle forced a smile onto her face as she cast her eyes down to you, and in response you tried to just shrink yourself away. This wasn’t as much fun as you were hoping it’d be, and you just wanted to leave--with or without a new coat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, why don’t you two follow me and we can pick you out a new coat then?” She offered, looking down her nose at you before turning around and leading you into the store. Grace dropped her hands from your shoulders and led the way, and you walked closely behind her. You took in the many circular racks of expensive looking clothing, all of the vibrant colors and rich fabrics. The tags were all priced between 150-2,000 dollars, and the numbers made your head spin. You couldn’t think of anyone who could afford something like this, yet here you were being fitted for an expensive coat of your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your arms, your torso, and your belly all were measured with thin blue measuring tape, and soon Elle was leading you and Grace to another part of the store, to a circular rack that held lots of different kinds of coats. “Have your pick, darling,” Grace smiled at you, and you couldn’t keep your eyes off of the multitude of different colors and styles you had to choose from. Some were thicker than others, some were longer than others. Some were black, some were grey, and much to your delight they had every color in between. You took your time, pulling the different coats off of the rack and admiring them. The soft, rich fabric felt so unreal, and your skin began to tickle against your ripped up, old clothing that you were wearing. You thought that at any moment you’d wake up in the attic to nothing but the neglect and abuse you had been facing your entire life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway around the rack your hand came to rest on a royal blue fabric, and when your curiosity got the better of you, you pulled it off of the rack only to instantly fall in love. It was a royal blue pea coat, and it was unlike anyone you had ever seen. The buttons were silver and the fabric was both thick and incredibly soft at the same time. You loved this coat, but when you lifted the tag to see the cost you were blown away. $899.99 plus tax? There was no way you could pick something so expensive. You started to place it back on the rack and look for a cheaper alternative when Grace stepped up behind you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that the one you like, dear?” She asked, but you only smiled weakly at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is, but nine hundred dollars?” You asked, unable to form the words to say you didn’t feel comfortable spending that much of her money. Grace gave you a reassuring smile, flashing her pearly white teeth from behind her blood red lips. You could tell whatever she was going to say would make you feel much better about yourself, so you were all ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren made it abundantly clear to me that no coat was too expensive for his special guest.” She reached past you and took ahold of the coat, held it up to you and beamed, causing your cheeks to glow red. “Oh honey, you’ll look marvelous in this!” She said, snickering and hyping you up for the purchase. “Mr. Ren will be pleased.” Grace turned and called for Elle who was helping another customer on the other side of the store, waved her over and the two of you met her in the center. “Saint here has made her decision. We’d like this coat, if you would.” Elle smiled at Grace, taking the coat from her hands and walking up to the counter to ring her up. You watched carefully as Grace wrote out a check for the grand total, and there were so many numbers it made your head spin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming no box?” She asked, flashing her eyes down at you and your lack of warm clothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No box, thank you.” Grace said, handing over the check and reaching for the coat. As soon as it was in her hands she held it out for you, opening it so that you may slip your arms through. It was the first time you had tried it on, and when you were finally covered in your brand new coat, it felt like you were receiving a hug you never had before. You ran your hands over your own arms and torso, feeling as much of the coat as you could. You couldn’t believe it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>yours. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Saint,” Grace said, smiling happily down at you. “Are you ready to head on out to the estate?” You nodded your head excitedly, feeling like a giddy child yet again. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited over something like this, and truth be told it was so foreign to you that you thought you were on some sort of drug. It felt like you were literally floating on clouds as you followed Grace back to the car, sat yourself down and snuggled inside of your brand new coat. “To the estate, please.” Grace said, and your heart began to flutter. This was really happening. For the rest of the month, you’d be living in the lap of luxury. Your introduction to adulthood next week would be celebrated in the middle of a palace, next to one of the richest men in the entire country. Life would be grand, even just for a minute. You had to keep this in the forefront of your mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a gift, and you were going to accept it with open arms.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I forgot to mention that I was inspired to write this back in November when Disney Plus was launched and I found they had my favorite version of Annie (1999). I've watched it so many times since then lol. When I was little I used to dance around and sing to the songs. I've just always loved the overall play!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The ride through the city was phenomenal. The crowds of people that flooded the sidewalks and crosswalks seemed to never end. There were a plethora of different shops, buildings that were so tall you were sure they touched the sky. The sounds of other cars driving past you blared in your ears, the honking of horns and people yelling from the side of the road to buy from their little food stands intrigued you. It was all so overwhelming, but when you got a chance to adjust to the change in pace, you found everything to be so exciting. This was city life. This is what was waiting for you just beyond Hanagan’s door. You weren’t running for your life through the empty sidewalks trying to get away from your situation, you weren’t hiding from you wretched past. You were being transported to your brand new, luxurious living situation. All you had to do was simply relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride was much longer, closer to 45 minutes and every so often Grace would take it upon herself to let you know that everyone on the estate was looking forward to spending time with you. She made Kylo Ren up to be a fun loving, entertaining, hospitable individual that would love to welcome you into his home. It seemed impossible, given your rocky history with meeting new people. Up until you met Grace, you were sure the majority of the population was rock hard and wanted nothing to do with you. One person, one generous person managed to change your perception of society as a whole. If Grace were this kind to you, you couldn't wait to see what Kylo Ren was like. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were amazed to see the car pull up to a massive pearly white gate. It must have been at least as tall as the second story of the orphanage, and the gold and silver accents were telling in and of themselves that someone with a lot of money lived just behind that gate. You leaned forward on your seat and watched as the massive gates swung open remotely, then looked on in awe as the car advanced into a heavily wooded area. There were so many trees to the left and to the right of you, and you could only assume that they were meant for privacy. From the outside of the gates you couldn’t see his home at all. That moment only came after driving up the secluded road for another three minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the massive mansion broke from between the trees. It was there, growing right in front of you as the car pulled closer and closer to it. You could only tear your eyes from the large brick and mortar home for a moment to admire the larger than life driveway. It was circular, like a hotel driveway where people could be picked up and dropped off at the door. In the center was a massive water fountain and statue of a mermaid sitting on some rocks, and surrounding it was some well-kept foliage made of bushes and bright flowers. You barely even noticed the car coming to a stop as you were busy taking in the finer details that decorated the front of his house. It wasn’t until Grace opened her door that you realized you needed to get out and get yourself settled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You looked to the well paved ground below you as you opened the door and tried to step out, but before you could even lay a foot on the ground a man dressed in what you could only describe as a butler’s uniform stepped up to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodmorning, young lady!” He said happily, reaching out and taking your hand. He was an older gentleman with thick grey eyebrows and a thick grey mustache, and everything about him seemed so jovial. He addressed you by your name as he led you up the stairs to the porch, Grace’s heels clicking not too far behind you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Eli,” She chided him playfully. “No need to be so cordial. She goes by Saint, if you would.” She explained, and you felt so important as both people smiled so brightly at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint? What a wonderful nickname!” He exclaimed, and your face broke out in the biggest smile. “Well, Saint, we’ve all been awaiting your arrival. We’ve prepared a room just for you, a menu with lots of different types of food for you to choose from, clothing, music, art supplies. If you can think of it, we’ve got it just for you and your stay on the estate!” Eli stated, opening the front door. You were soaking in everything he was saying like a sponge, but nothing could have prepared you for what was behind Mr. Ren’s front doors. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors opened, and it was so warm inside of his home that you thought you had stepped out of December and into June. Light pink and gold marble pillars greeted you on either side, the tile on the floor beneath your feet was all different colors, forming intricate patterns that all led up to a massive circle in the center of the foyer, underneath a massive bright and decorative chandelier. There were four double doors at each corner of the room, and to the sides were entry ways to other parts of this mansion. Straight ahead was a wide staircase that led to the indoor balconies that you could see from the ground floor, and on the stairs was a red and gold carpet the was laid all the way up to a grand piano in front of a window that took up an entire story. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If the jarring change in scenery wasn’t enough to cause you to step back and realize how bad you really did have it, the numerous people walking in and out of the doors and entryways definitely overwhelmed you. They were all dressed as nicely as you could imagine, with the women wearing mostly grey and white dresses and the men roaming about wearing black and white tuxedos. Some carried food from the right wing to the left, some came from the doors pushing carts of laundry. Some could be seen carrying trays across the second floor through the balconies, while others simply carried paperwork throughout the house. You didn’t think you had ever seen so many happy and well dressed people in one place before, and you instantly felt like you really did belong here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miss Saint, may I take your coat?” Eli asked you, already holding Grace’s coat in his arms. You were pulled from the magic that was going on around you for a moment only to nearly have a heart attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My coat?” You asked, looking down at your new most prized possession. “Will you give it back to me?” Your question was sincere and genuine, full of concern. But you were met with only laughter and joviality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dear, of course you’ll get it back.” Grace said, taking ahold of your coat and helping you shimmy it off. “It’s just going to get stored in our coat closet here. You can have it back whenever you decide to venture outside.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And, Grace here tells me that you have a birthday coming up in a few days!” Eli stated, pulling your attention from the organized chaos going on around you. You had almost forgotten that your birthday was just a few days away, and the thought of spending it here, with all of these good people, was enough to send your heartbeat skyrocketing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I’m going to be eighteen.” You said as he led you throughout the crowd. All of the busy people began to move out of your way, stepping around you, Grace, and Eli, as if you were among the most important people of the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I’ve heard,” He said with a chuckle, finally dropping your hand as the three of you stood at the bottom step. “Well, let me be the first to tell you that we’ve been preparing. We’ve got a cake bigger than you are to celebrate, and Mr. Ren has even sent for gifts for you to open as well.” You nodded your head excitedly, looked over at Grace to find her staring back at you proudly. Everything that was being said to you, again, felt like a dream. You had never been treated so well in your entire life. “Now, why don’t we let Grace here show you around. She’ll show you the leisure room, your room, the dining rooms, and everything in between!” The man took your hand in his again and clasped his other over top of it, smiling and nodding his head at you once again. “We are all so happy to have you as our guest for this month, Miss Saint. Thank you for joining us during this most wonderful time.” Eli smiled at you, and you felt tears welling in your eyes. You had never felt so loved and so cared for than how you felt now with the help of these strangers. You couldn’t wait to kick off your time here at the Ren-Warbucks estate. You knew you’d be happy. You knew you’d be loved and cherished. You knew you were gonna like it here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was so much to do and to see around the estate. Grace showed you your room first, which was a little more on the childlike side but you were still appreciative of having your own space. The room was essentially the size of Hanagan’s attic, but obviously was well taken care of. There was thick, soft white carpet on the floor and light pink painted walls. A bathroom was connected to it that could easily fit three or four of the pitiful closet sized bathrooms you had in your dorm at the orphanage, and it had a claw foot bathtub </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>a full stall shower. It was stocked with almost everything you could think of. Shampoos and conditioners of every scent, makeup of almost every color and type, the highest quality brand toothpaste and toothbrush, mouthwash, and floss, and towels of all shapes, sizes and colors. You were lucky if Hanagan gave you a pea sized amount of toothpaste to brush your teeth every morning, you hadn’t even heard of mouthwash and floss before today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back in the bedroom you stopped to admire the bed you’d be sleeping in for the next month. It was three times the size of your bed at the orphanage, and it was made up of a heavy quilt and three big fluffy pillows. It was clean looking, and you could imagine there were fresh sheets underneath the warm, comforting looking blanket. By far the most exciting thing was the light pink canopy that hung from a white ring over the top of the bed. It was almost magical, the light haze that it created on the inside of the bed. It was like something out of a fairy tale, out of your wildest imagination. You could only wish that all other girls in the world were treated this way by their parents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grace showed you all of the clothes that were bought for your stay, and they were all your exact size and looked to be exquisite! Never in your life could you imagine yourself wearing such things. The fabrics were so fine, so expensive, so grand. The dresses were long and elegant. The t-shirts were bright and colorful. Everything they provided you from the hats to the underwear was so lovely, much better than the tattered and worn garments that had been handed down to you from generations ago in Hanagan’s care. You loved it. You loved everything Mr. Ren had gone out of his way to do for you, and you couldn’t wait to meet the man that made this all possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, how about we go have a snack before lunch?” Grace offered, promising to continue her tour before Mr. Ren returned home from work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that when I can meet him?” You asked, feeling like a child excited to meet Santa. In a way, he was Santa. He was a magical man that was giving you the most amazing gift of your lifetime, you wanted to meet him and tell him thank you over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, my dear,” Grace assured you as the two of you walked down the staircase and veered to the right. The area was a lot less populated than when you first arrived, but there was still the occasional person who would walk by and smile at the two of you. “He’s called and said he’s been looking forward to meeting his guest.” Her eyebrows lifted as she smiled at you, and when you turned the corner you were met with the grandest of all dining halls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An almost never ending table lined with chairs, deep mahogany and polished until every inch shined beautifully sat in front of you, with a skinny white table cloth that ran from end to end. Each spot was set with plates, forks, knives, spoons, and cups, with a black napkin folded neatly on top. You couldn’t believe that this was your reality, that you’d be dining here, with countless others that were </span>
  <em>
    <span>excited </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be with you. You couldn't stop yourself. Like an overly excited five year old you ran up to the very first seat, the one at the very end, pulled out the chair and sat down proudly. The first thing you did was lay your arms across the table, taking in the feeling of the cool wood inch by inch. At the orphanage, you had to eat on your bed. Here, you’d eat like a queen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excited, are we?” Grace asked, walking up behind you and taking the next closest seat to your left. Before you could even get a chance to answer one of the women who presumably worked on the estate walked right up to the table, pen and paper in hand, and immediately acknowledged you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Farrel, and Miss Saint, is it?” She asked with a hearty smile. “What can I get for you two?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just need a light snack before lunch in a few hours,” Grace started, turning around and looking back at you for a moment. “Saint, what would you like to eat?” She asked, and it was the first time anyone had ever asked for your input on what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to eat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I’m not sure.” You said, unable to recall any food you had eaten in the last 17 years that you actually liked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, might I suggest some strawberries and cream?” The small, blonde woman cut in and asked as quietly as she could. “They were just picked fresh from the garden. I tasted a few and they taste like candy!” Candy. You could count on one hand how many times you had eaten actual candy in your lifetime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that sounds wonderful!” Grace exclaimed, smiling at the woman just like you were. “We’ll have a bowl of strawberries with some sugar and whipped cream.” Grace’s lips pointed up into a quirky smile as the maid scribbled on her paper and walked away, only to return a few minutes later with exactly what Grace asked for. A big bowl of sliced strawberries with a small dish of sugar and a small dish of whipped cream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat up, Saint.” Grace said as she pushed the dishes toward you, and you wasted no time in taking one of the biggest strawberries from the bowl in between your fingers. The last time you had strawberries was when you were 13 or 14, and even though the sugar and whipped cream was tempting you wanted to try one plain first. These strawberries were much brighter and thicker than what you could remember, and the moment you lifted it to your mouth and bit into it, your world was forever changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing, not a single thing you had ever eaten in your lifetime, felt as fresh and as sweet as this one strawberry did. The squelching noise it made as you sunk your teeth into the bright red flesh, the dribble of the liquid that ran down your chin, and the sweet, sweet taste of natural sugar nearly threw you over the edge, and in a moment you had shoved the entire berry into your mouth in order to taste the entire thing. It was almost unreal how delicious this one little piece of fruit was to you, and before you had even swallowed it you were reaching for another one and dipping it into the whipped cream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a garden out back where all of our fresh foods are grown,” Grace spoke up, reaching into the bowl and taking a strawberry for herself. “Any kind of vegetable and fruit that can be grown in this part of the world is grown there, so if you enjoy these strawberries there are definitely more where they came from.” She assured you, and that was among the most exciting pieces of information you had heard all day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m excited, thank you!” You said, feeling like you couldn’t thank her enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t thank me, darling. Thank the man that made this all possible for you when you see him tonight. This was all </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>idea.” She corrected you, playfully sticking her pointer finger out at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh believe me,” You started while still chewing down your third berry. “I plan on never letting him hear the end of it.” And it was true. You had truly never been this thankful for anything in your life. You felt like you owed Mr. Ren the entire world for his generosity toward you, and you honestly didn’t know how you would even react to seeing him. He was like a celebrity in your eyes, a billionaire that took the time to take you, a 17 year old orphan girl, out of your home and into his just for the Christmas season. It was marvelous, and you absolutely could not wait to meet him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After your snack Grace showed you around the rest of the estate. The leisure rooms included a pool room, a private gym, a library, an indoor pool and tennis court, as well as a few lounge rooms that were for relaxing. Grace even told you that there was a garden and a greenhouse out back that was open for you any time you wanted to visit. Grace told you that the estate was large, and that you needed to call for either her or a maid any time you wanted to go somewhere. It seemed reasonable to you, you didn’t want to get lost and end up somewhere you weren’t supposed to be. She also explained that 90 percent of Mr. Ren’s staff lived on or around the estate, and most ate their meals at the large table you and her had eaten your snack at as well. From the looks of it, everyone enjoyed their time at the estate, and you had to wonder if, perhaps since you were going to be homeless after December was over, Mr. Ren would hire you to work for him. At least you’d be able to spend most of your time in this wonderful mansion with all of these wonderful people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hours went by. Lunch was served at 1:30 and you had the best cobb salad and bowl of chicken noodle soup ever. Grace reminded you that the celery, carrots, spinach, and lettuce was hand grown and harvested within the last 24 hours, and you had to say that you could taste the difference. They even served you a small, freshly baked blueberry muffin for dessert, and shortly after scarfing everything that was sat in front of you, you were standing from the table to head to the library to kill more time before Mr. Ren would finally come home to meet you. He had a plethora of scholarly and mundane books alike. He had books about the ocean, books about wildlife that existed all over the globe. He had books about prominent political figures, actors and actresses, books about every single president that had existed. He had lots of nonfiction books, but you could find no books that appealed to you. In the end you picked up a book on the history of New York City and decided to skim through it, observing the black and white photographs that had been printed within it. You were never big into reading, especially since Hanagan didn’t often provide you with books to read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grace left you on your own for a while, free to roam about the forest of books you had to choose from while preparations were made for Mr. Ren’s return. During your alone time you really tried to rehearse what you’d say to the man when you finally met him. A silly string of “thank yous” wouldn’t do for a man who was worth a billion times more than you were. Maybe a more cordial, “thank you, Mr. Ren, for all you’ve done to me” would work, but then again, perhaps that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>cordial. “Thank you so much for having me, Mr. Ren!” You said in your head, and that sentence seemed a little more fitting. You practiced smiling, stood up and practiced your body language as to not come off as completely awkward when you met him. You thought you had it down. You were confident in yourself, and when Grace did finally fetch you to tell you that Mr. Ren was currently coming up the driveway you couldn’t have been any giddier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She led you from the third floor to the ground floor where everyone was lined up, excitedly staring at the door waiting for Mr. Ren to make his appearance. You were incredibly nervous, thanking the maids in your mind for allowing you to change from the clothes you were brought in into a bright yellow sundress. You were feeling incredibly beautiful, more beautiful and welcoming than you ever felt. You could do this. All you had to do was say, “thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, you step down in front here, he’s going to want to see you first.” Grace said, leading you by your shoulders to the front of the crowd. “Everyone else, be as welcoming as possible. You know how Mr. Ren can get after a long day of work!” She warned, but you chose not to listen to her. Your preconceived idea of Mr. Ren was almost perfect, and as soon as the front door began to open you took in a deep breath, preparing yourself to show your gratitude.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The butler Eli stepped up and opened the door, and in strode the tallest man you swore you had ever seen. He was dressed in an all black peacoat just like your blue one, black slacks, black shoes, and black gloves. Without even looking at anything or anyone, he took his black fedora off of his head, releasing his beautiful, black, satin like hair from its confines and handed it to Eli. He had a peculiar, tired look among him. His eyelids dropped and his mouth hung agape as he continued to walk straight toward you. Everything about his face was so unique: his eye color, his large, pointed nose, his plush, light pink lips, and his numerous beauty marks. He carried himself and his look with pride, you could see it clear as day in his confident posture and gait. Especially when he walked right up to you and stared straight over your head, only stopping when you didn’t step out of his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t see it, but behind you his entire staff had parted in order to allow him to continue his walk forward. Grace even gently placed her hands upon your shoulders to get you to move, but you wouldn’t be moving until you said hello to Mr. Ren. You looked up at the unusually tall man and smiled as he finally dropped his gaze to you, looked down his nose at you as you sat yourself up and clasped your hands in front of your hips, trying to look as innocent as possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You rehearsed this, but your throat was dry as the intimidating man simply stared at you, his uninterested face fading slowly into one of annoyance. You had to say it. Just a quick thank you! He needed to hear it and he needed to hear it now. You cleared your throat, parted your lips, but before you could even utter the first syllable of your sentence, Mr. Ren had beat you to your speech.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You,” He said, squinting his eyes suspiciously at you. “Why are you not in your uniform?” Your jaw dropped as Grace gasped from right next to you, and you truly didn’t know what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Mr. Ren, you’re mistaken!” She said, rushing up to his side just as Eli gripped the collar of Ren’s coat. “This is our Christmas guest, Saint!” You watched as Mr. Ren turned his head to look at Eli as he shimmied his coat off, then whisked it away to the coat closet where yours was. The man turned back at you, looked you up and down before speaking to you once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint?” He asked, looking to Grace for answers yet again. “And why is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Saint </span>
  </em>
  <span>here, Ms. Farrel?” Your jaw quivered as you watched him walk away, Grace running off after him. You turned to look at everyone else behind you, but as soon as you locked eyes with one of the maids they all dispersed in all different directions, unwilling to explain to you what was going on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Mr. Ren, surely you must remember?” Grace said as you sped walked to try and keep up with her. “With all the negative press you’ve been receiving, sir, you decided that you would like to give an orphan the Christmas of their dreams.” She smiled nervously, and you watched as Mr. Ren immediately went stiff in his tracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes. I had forgotten.” He said, looking back down at you in uncertainty. How could he have forgotten? This seemed like such a huge deal to you! Grace even said he had called that afternoon and said he couldn’t wait to meet you. Something seemed off, something wasn’t right. This was now how you imagined your meeting with the man who saved you from your last month of the orphanage was going to go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, so you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>the orphan, </span>
  </em>
  <span>huh?” He asked, taking a deep breath. You could only nod your head at him. “Is that so. I was expecting someone much…” Again, he looked you up and down, from the top of your done up hair to the tip of your brand new white slip ons. “Younger.” You felt your eyes widen and your heart come to a halt in your chest. Just what was he saying, and why was he just walking away from you yet again? Everyone made you feel like you were their most special guest, and yet the man that you were most excited to meet let you fall so painfully hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, now, Mr. Ren,” Grace said, hurrying past you and in front of him, causing him to stop walking. “That’s no way to treat our guest! She’s come here to have the most magical month of her life, I’m sure the </span>
  <em>
    <span>least </span>
  </em>
  <span>you could do is welcome her as warmly as you can.” She said, cutting him a dangerous look and speaking from between her teeth. “She was so excited to meet you, isn’t that right, Saint?” She asked, turning to you so suddenly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, yes. I just wanted to say…” You trailed off, once again feeling like you were being scrutinized under his heavy gaze. As you stared up at him you couldn’t help but to look into his eyes and wonder: have you ever seen such beautiful eyes before? They were hazel, but with green and brown accents that almost made it look like there were small flecks of honey or gold in his eyes. You couldn’t help but to stare, until you realized that you were supposed to be saying something to him. “Um, thank you!” You said, forcing a smile onto your face. “Thank you, so much for inviting me into your home. I can’t think of a better Christmas gift to receive!” You smiled up at him, but to your dismay all he did was lift his brows at you before beginning to step away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome, Saint,” He spoke rather coldly and distantly from you. “Meet me in my lounge and we can have cigars and scotch later on.” He spoke, causing Grace to gasp and once again run up to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren!” She shouted, once again running up to him and stopping him in his tracks. “Your lounge is for businessmen only--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’ve only ever smoked once a few months ago, and it was disgusting.” You mentioned, becoming annoyed at his imperfection. You hated that you had put him on such a high pedestal, because he was turning out to not be the man you thought he was. Both he and Grace looked at you, and once again Mr. Ren cast a look of annoyance at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She looks like a grown woman, why can’t she have a drink with me?” He asked in the most condescending way ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s a girl, she’s only 17!” Grace answered, and by then you had had enough of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, Mr. Ren,” You started, boldly walking up to him and crossing your arms. “If what you want is a child orphan, one who isn’t going to be an actual adult in a few days, please feel free to get one.” You tried your hardest to keep the tears out of your eyes, but as you turned toward the door to leave you found you couldn’t fight your vision from blurring. “I knew this stupid invitation was too good to be true. At least it was cool to stay in a mansion for a few hours.” You said as you sniffed and wiped your eyes. It was back to Hanagan’s house for another few days before you were kicked to the curb. At the very least, you had a little bit of a taste of what it was like to be rich before you become homeless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had gotten within a foot of his front door before you heard several footsteps chasing after you, and the sound of his voice calling your name. You turned, wiping your eyes again to find both he and Grace standing behind you, Grace smiling happily while he finally held a look of concern about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to have upset you, Saint.” He spoke, finally sounding genuine. You turned toward him, clasping your hand over your wrist and trying not to appear as broken as you really were. You were excited to see him finally paying you some positive attention. “I truly am delighted that you’ll be spending the month here, with us.” He said, forcing a smile onto his face. You allowed yourself to smile at him as well. It seemed rather forced, but you had made up your mind that he didn’t matter. Everyone else was so much nicer to you than he was, and even if he ignored you for the next month you felt like you’d have a good time. You nodded at him, looked to Grace who was now smiling back at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps Mr. Ren would come around. Perhaps you’d just have to put up with him and his ignoring you for a month. That was okay. Because you were determined to have as much fun as you could, with or without him. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>With a spark of hope set in your heart yet again, you began to walk back into the center of the foyer where Grace and Mr. Ren stood talking to one another. When Grace noticed you making your way toward them, she smiled, then continued the conversation they were carrying on much louder so that you could hear them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about a Broadway show for our guest?” Grace offered with the most expressive look on her face. The thought excited you so much. You had often saved the newspaper clippings that talked about the different shows that were playing on Broadway: Doll Face, Down Argentine Way, Best Foot Forward, and so on. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d ever find yourself watching a play on Broadway, and in that moment you couldn’t help yourself from sharing your excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never been to a show on Broadway before!” You shouted, but your response from Mr. Ren was typical. He looked down at you for a moment before, yet again, turning and heading into the direction of one of the four doors in the corner of his foyer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds wonderful. I’ll have the money for you two set out so that you may go out first thing in the morning.” Again, he flashed you another cleary forced smile before walking away. You stole a look at Grace and she seemed completely stumped, out of energy to bring him back to you she was finally admitting defeat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about him, Saint.” She said with a heavy sigh. “He’s had a long day at work, and no one likes to deal with him when he’s had a bad day. He’s asked me to have his dinner sent to his office, so why don’t we go get some food?” She asked, pointing toward the kitchen. She sounded like she was begging you for some kind of understanding, but in reality the explanation did make sense. No one was perfect, and everyone had bad days and had their own way of dealing with them. Perhaps it was wrong of you to jump the gun and judge Mr. Ren. Perhaps you just had to give him some time. After all, when you had a bad day you were guilty of pushing your sisters away from you just as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, everyone has a bad day, right?” You asked, trying to shed some light on the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I admire your positive attitude, but unfortunately this happens all too often around here.” She said, knocking your positivity back to where it had come from. “What do you want for dinner? Whatever you’d like to eat I can have the kitchen whip up right away.” She said with a smile. You had to admit that you were happy she was still trying to make this a fun time for you. It was even more of a reason for you to enjoy your time here; if not for Mr. Ren, then for Grace, and if not for Grace then for yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever is being cooked is fine. Ms. Hanagan really only ever cooked us like, three meals every night so I’m open to trying anything new.” You said, and it earned a chuckle from Grace which made you happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are definitely more agreeable than Mr. Ren is.” Grace praised you as the two of you crossed the threshold into the dining room. “You sit right here, I’m going to order our food.” You watched as she walked away, across the foyer and into the kitchen. You were left alone with your idle thoughts about everything going on around you, and about what your life would be like for the next month. Hands down what you were excited for the most was seeing a show on Broadway, potentially the next day! You could almost see it now: center stage, upfront next to Grace, so close that you could almost touch the actors and actresses. Your heart began racing and your imagination ran wild, and it almost all came to an end the moment someone placed a hand on your shoulder and pulled you from your pleasant thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your dinner will be out shortly, dear.” Said one of the maids with a welcoming smile. You smiled back at her, not realizing that she had placed a plate of food a few seats down from you before the smell wafted into your nostrils. You turned your head and was met with the biggest sandwich you had ever seen in your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thing must have been almost the size of your head. The bread it was being served on was thick and looked to have been toasted, the meat was a dark brown and deep red color and was also much thicker than you were used to. There was plenty of lettuce and at least one slice of tomato, as well as what looked to be mayonnaise on each side of the bread. On the side was a long, triangularly cut, bright green pickle. Your mouth began to water and you found yourself gravitating toward it, and when you leaned as close to it as you could you saw a note that was posted just under it that spelled out who it belonged to: Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You leaned back, wondering if your meal was going to look as good as his. You wanted to try a bite. Just a little nibble. Just enough to inform you of how much better this sandwich was than the sad little bologna sandwiches you were used to in the orphanage. You bit back the urge, trusting the maid when she said yours would be out soon. You’d have the same kind of food, if not something different to discover, and you decided to focus on just that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The minutes passed by, and you were still alone. Grace still hadn’t come back, and when you turned around you found her still standing in the entryway of the kitchen. She was speaking to one of the male maids, one that handed her a small piece of paper. She looked up at him, another look of frustration settling on her face before lifting her eyes to you. You watched as she mouthed ‘one moment’ to the man, then held her pointer finger up to him before strutting her way across the foyer over to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, dear, I need to take a phone call. I’ll be with you to eat in just a moment.” She said, and without even waiting for a reaction she went on her way, back over to the man that had pulled her from the kitchen and quickly stepped out of view. Again, you were alone, and now you were beginning to feel even more lonely in this huge mansion full of people. You did nothing but sit, kick your feet innocently under the table while staring at the sandwich that sat in front of you. It was a shame that it was just sitting there, growing cold. Surely Mr. Ren would be upset if he had to eat his food cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You tried to keep your mind occupied while you waited for your food, and although not a lot of time had passed between when Grace was called away and now, you kept finding yourself coming back to the sandwich. An interesting idea came to your mind, and you didn’t know if it were worth acting on it or not. What if </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>brought him his sandwich? Your eyes flicked back to the plate there only a few inches away from you. Would it really be that horrible of an idea? It seemed Grace was the one who was supposed to bring it to him, but she had stepped away. Maybe, if you brought it to him, he would pay more attention to you and would respect you a little bit more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As quietly as you could you reached across the corner of the table and gripped the plate with both hands. It was warm, but you still held on tight to it anyway. The different smells of freshly baked bread and savory meat trailed all the way up to your nose as you swiftly stood to your feet and ran away from the table, and you had to fight yourself from simply lifting the plate to your mouth and eating it yourself. It smelled and looked so good, but this plate was for Mr. Ren, and you’d soon have your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You leaned out of the entry to the dining hall and looked all around you. No one was coming and no one would catch you essentially exploring on your own. As quickly as you could, without dropping the delicacy in your hands, you tip toed across the foyer. While you were sneaking through it, It seemed much bigger and more intimidating than when you first set foot in it. Your new shoes echoed loudly across the shiny floor, and you thought for sure someone would notice you running up to the leftmost door in the corner and tell you to go back to the dining room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, as it turned out, no one even noticed you were gone. Because you made it to the same large, mahogany double doors you saw Mr. Ren disappear into no more than half an hour ago. With a proud grin on your face you lifted your fist to the door and gently knocked against it, taking care not to hit any of the hand-carved artwork too hard, lest you ruin it and have to pay later. You waited in the awkward silence, tossing a cautious look over both of your shoulders when you finally got the confirmation through the door: “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Come in Grace.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” You grew giddy as you realized your plan was working. Mr. Ren would soon come to appreciate you and your presence, even if it was just a little bit more than before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an ungraceful balancing act, holding the plate and reaching to pull open one of the large doors, but it was an act that you managed to pull off without making an absolute joke out of yourself. You stumbled into his office and was greeted with nothing but dark, unsettling tones. Black wooden planks ran along the floor with a large grey rug in the center of two black leather couches. There was a fireplace guarded with black rails, and most of the artistic accents, the art, the frames, the statues and whatnot, were all either dark brown, black, or grey. All of this led up to the centerpiece of the room: Mr. Ren’s large, dark mahogany desk. The thing was rich in color and texture, with gold accents on the legs and handle knobs. Of course there were things like black telephones and lots of paperwork, pens, and pencils strewn across it as well, but that was to be expected. The sight nearly blew you away, especially when you lifted your eyes just a bit farther up and found Mr. Ren sitting behind it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It struck you as so odd to see him for some reason. He was an actual businessman sitting here right in front of you, sifting through his papers, reading over lines, and whatnot. You had never seen someone with an actual job, save for perhaps the man that came to pick up and drop off your weekly laundry. It was a truly sobering and fascinating sight to behold. His intense look of concentration almost made him look angry--in fact you wondered if he was angry. Making this much money surely couldn’t be a walk in the park. Whatever it was he was looking at, you wished you’d be able to look at it too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Set my food down on the table please, Grace.” He said, placing the paper he was working down at the other end of his desk and reaching for a pen. You had to make your presence known now before he got upset at you for impersonating her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” You breathed as you finally got close enough to him to set the sandwich down. “I’m not Grace.” You put on your biggest, most innocent smile as you set the sandwich down on a clear corner of his desk, but the unamused look you got in return got your stomach churning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, is it?” He asked, staring you down like he was about to interrogate you. You nodded your head and took a step back. “Right, Saint. Did Grace tell you to bring me my food?” He pried, and for the first time since you came up with this convoluted plan, you thought you had made a bad decision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No sir,” You stated as firmly as you could, trying to stop your hands from shaking. “Grace stepped away to take a phone call, and I felt bad that your food was just sitting there. So I decided to bring it to you.” He looked from you to the plate of food, then lifted his brows before picking up the pen again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. Well thank you, young lady. I truly appreciate it.” You smiled at him, took another few steps away from him and then just stood there. It really was mesmerizing to simply observe him as he went throughout his business. He was dressed in a sharp black and white suit, and his hair was so perfect. Not only that, but his size was so striking. Everything about him was bigger than any man you had ever seen. His head, his hands, his nose, his eyes. He was like a quiet, gentle giant, and you wished he would share just a little bit of his world with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr. Ren apparently didn’t think the same thing, because after only a few moments of admiring him he slowly turned his head back to you, staring at you like you had lost your mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” He asked cautiously, and you could only really shrug at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, it’s just so interesting to watch you work.” You explained, but you were only met with a look of confusion. You felt he still expected an explanation, so you clamored to continue your sad speech. “I haven’t really met anyone with a real job before. I’d just, just like to watch you for a while.” Your request was sincere and genuine, but you still felt like he wasn’t taking you seriously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. You may watch me work, when I’m not busy. Please see yourself out.” Again, he turned sharply back to his work and tried to ignore you, but by now you were determined. He seemed like such a nice man, and you really did want to spend time with him since he was the reason behind your little vacation. You didn’t mean to be so insubordinate, but instead of doing as he asked you sat yourself down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, placed your palms on the wood and then leaned down so that your chin was resting on the back of your hands. He watched you cautiously the entire time, and you found it to be amusing. Thus, you couldn’t keep the proud grin off of your face as you uttered your rebuttal: </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren, sir, you seem like the kind of man who is never not busy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a spur of the moment response, one that you didn’t really give much thought to, and one that you probably should have thought of the repercussions for. The last thing you wanted to do was get yourself kicked out of this wonderful vacation, but the sentence had just simply slipped past your lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily for you, however, the man seemed to take the remark much better than you originally thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me, Saint, are you the kind of girl that likes to march to the beat of her own drum?” He asked, suddenly placing all of his attention on you. The question caught you off guard, and you didn’t know where he’d be taking your response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I suppose so.” You said, twitching your foot nervously under your chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kind of girl that’s able to take matters into her own hands, and do things the way she wants?” Again, you nodded your head. It certainly sounded like you, what with the way you had to step in and take care of the orphanage when Hanagan would not. You were used to having to make your own way, even if people didn’t agree or approve of it, and you assumed that’s what he was talking about. “Good. Very good.” He said, straightening his paperwork and standing from his desk. He held out his hand to you, and you couldn’t believe that he was giving you this much attention. Without thinking you placed your hand in his, and you thought for a moment that your hand was like a doll’s hand in his. His long, warm fingers curled around yours, and he was gently pulling you from your chair. Your heart was fluttering in your chest as he pulled you into him, draping his long, protective arm over your shoulder and slowly beginning to walk you toward the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These traits you possess, they’re similar to mine. They’re admirable, pleasing, and desirable. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>seeing women like you and Grace as headstrong as you are.” You could feel the vibrations in the side of his chest up against you as he kept you tucked under his arm. Your cheeks were reddening under the spell that was his silky smooth, deep, baritone voice. It was like he was intentionally trying to woo you even though both you and him knew you were still going to be underage for another few days. You were still growing quite comfortable there under his arm, and it stirred feelings around inside of you that you had never really felt before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someday, I have no doubt that you’ll make an excellent businesswoman, my dear Saint. One day, you’ll run an empire just like me, and you’ll be the envy of every man and woman that will have the pleasure of knowing you.” He hummed, and you were far too distracted by the intoxication of his smell, his touch, and his voice to realize that he had walked you all the way to the door of his office until the sound of the door opening brought your attention to the foyer. “And for now, you can rest easy knowing that because we possess the same traits, you already know a lot about how I work.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly his arm came from around you and you were left feeling unusually cold. With a gentle shove you were stepping out of his office, and before you could even turn around the door was shut. You were dumbfounded, unsure of how to think or react to what just happened to you. Were you to be angry at him for throwing you out even though you weren’t technically invited into his office, or should you be flattered that he said so many admirable things about you and finally gave you the attention you wanted? You were so conflicted, but the one thing that stood out in your mind was just him. Him with his sobering cologne. Him with his strange height, and his long arms and fingers. Him with his good looks. Him with his desire to see you succeed, even if it wasn’t genuine. Mr. Ren was a character. He was an important man that, even though he didn’t want to admit it, invited you into his home. He was someone you wanted to know better, and you would have done anything to be up under his arm again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a stupid smile plastered across your face, you started to make your way back to the dining hall to wait for Grace. What you chose to take from that interaction was that Mr. Ren was interested in you at least somewhat, and you took that as a positive interaction. As you reached the center of the foyer, you thought about what he had said to you. You knew nothing about business, yet he thought your headstrong attitude would get you far in such a field. Whether he was telling the truth or not you chose to keep out of your mind. That was truly among the first compliment you had gotten from a stranger, and the fact that it came from a very attractive man made you that much giddier. Growing up amongst girls all of your life, you didn’t often hear the kind of compliments that would make you blush like Mr. Ren did, and you had to admit that it was such a good feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of loud heels clicking from behind you drew your attention, and when you turned around you found Grace standing at the top of the staircase, looking at you with a look of relief on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, there you are!” She said, holding onto the handrail as she bounced down the stairs after you. “I was beginning to think you had left and gone back to the orphanage!” You giggled at her, put in a much better mood after your interaction with Mr. Ren. “Come now, love, let’s go eat dinner with the rest of the staff. Everyone is waiting for you!” Her excitement was exciting for you, and even though Grace hadn’t been real touchy-feely with you, you still took it upon yourself to grab her hand. She of course accepted it with a smile and the two of you walked to the dining hall together happily. Why you did it, you really didn’t know. Maybe this is how you were really supposed to be: kinder and softer, and someone who did like the contact. Maybe you were just in a good mood and appreciated Grace’s good mood as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But from the disappointment you felt when you found Grace’s hand was just too small not as warm as Mr. Ren’s hand, you felt like the real reason was much deeper, and unexplorable than you were currently used to.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just recently gave myself a little break from the fanfiction world after suffering some anxiety surrounding my fanfiction life. That's why my works are hidden from unregistered users. Slowly I'm starting to take away the restrictions as I'm starting to feel a little more at ease and sane again. Please bear with me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dinner that night was extravagant, fantastic, and more than you had ever imagined it would be. You were used to eating with your sisters back at the orphanage, but this was nothing like eating with them. It was like a feast. Every one of the maids, the cooks, the gardeners, and anyone else that lived on the Ren estate joined you, and you swore not a single person even so much as held a neutral face the entire evening. There was so much laughter, so many jokes, so many heartfelt compliments and comments, you almost thought you were in heaven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only was the company to die for, but the food exceeded your expectations ten times over. Catfish was what was served to you, breaded and cut into a filet and served with a lemon and a lime, baked macaroni and cheese, asparagus, and homemade potato wedges. For a drink you had water and cranberry juice on the side. You ate and ate and ate until you felt like your stomach was going to burst, and then they brought out dessert. Your eyes felt as if they were going to roll out of their sockets as the waiters brought around the largest three tiered chocolate cake you had ever seen in your life. You were sure you couldn’t have even dreamed of something so delicious looking, and when they finally got to you they cut you a large slice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For our beloved guest.” The man purred, and once again you found yourself blushing at the attention. Using your fork you cut into the tip and gingerly placed it into your mouth. It was the sweetest, most delectable dessert you had ever eaten in your life, and once the cake had been passed around and a piece was cut for every person at the table, you were delighted to see that there was still some left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is the cake good, Saint?” Grace asked, leaning down and poking your arm playfully. You nodded, savoring every chocolatey taste that each and every one of your taste buds could acquire. “Well, I’m happy to report that there’s more where that came from.” Grace assured you, and even though you felt like you probably could have eaten the entire cake in one go, by the time you were finished with your slice you were so full you were certain you wouldn’t be able to eat anything for the next day. It was painful and uncomfortable to be so full of food, but at the same time you felt it was a blessing. Never have you ever had this much food to eat before in your life, and the more you thought about how lucky you were to be in this position, the more you wanted to cry. At the orphanage, you were lucky if you got enough food to keep your stomach from continuing to growl until whenever your next meal was. Here, you were offered seemingly an endless amount of food, and you could eat until you could eat no more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I need a rest.” You said, wiggling around to try and situate yourself in a way that would alleviate your extraordinary full stomach. Grace took a look down at her watch, smiling pleasantly at you as her plate was taken from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a good idea.” Grace said, rising from her chair and you weren’t too far behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grace showed you back to your room, where she reminded you about where your pajamas were and that her room was just right at the other end of the hall. She said if you needed anything at all during the night you could wake her up, and then said goodnight with a wink. Then you were alone in this large room, left to your own affairs and actions. It was so quiet, another thing you just weren’t used to. At the Orphanage there were nine other girls always around you. There was always someone talking, giggling, coughing, sneezing, moving, and breathing in every room you were in. If you did manage to get some alone time, the walls were paper thin and anything could be heard from the other side. The pitter patter of tiny feet running above you, the rumbling and grumbling of Hanagan from the other side of her office, and so on. In this room, it was all quiet, and you almost didn’t know what to do with yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first thing that came to mind was to bathe. Not shower, bathe yourself. Sure you remembered when Hanagan would bathe you as a child, but after you turned six or so you were forced to take showers in a stall that would nearly touch both of your shoulders and in water that was only warm for five minutes. The clawfoot tub was something you had your eye on since the moment you laid your eyes on it, and no one had come out and told you that you couldn’t bathe, so you didn’t see why you couldn’t have a nice bath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you shuffled your way into the bathroom, excitedly ran up to the bath and immediately placed the white rubber water stopper into the drain. The faucet handles were decorated to look like diamonds, and engraved on the top of each was a cursive ‘H’ and ‘C’ to indicate the temperature, and without thinking you cranked the hot water up as high as it could go. It was a surreal moment as you watched the porcelain tub beginning to fill, felt the steam rise all around you. As you once again took the time to count your lucky stars and quietly thank Mr. Ren for this experience, you took stock of what was around the tub. In large glass containers were white substances, and each was labeled “Shampoo” or “Conditioner.” There was also a light pink bar of soap on the edge of the tub, and several washcloths to get yourself clean. You couldn’t even wait for the water to fill all the way up. As soon as you had stipped from head to toe you threw your leg over the side of the tub and sat yourself down. The water only barely came up over your hips, but from the way it seared your skin you could tell it was hotter than you ever to bathe in during your life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could see your skin turning a light pink as the tub continued to fill, but you felt like you couldn’t turn the water down. The heat was only borderline tolerable, but it was so comforting to sit in a bathtub full of water that was actually hot. When the water finally did fill and you shut it off, you took the time to stretch out your legs, run your fingers through the clear water, and lift some of it up to run over your face. You forgot momentarily that it wasn’t a swimming pool, you were meant to be cleaning yourself, but it was almost impossible to not relax for just a moment. You thought they weren’t going to police you about how much time you had spent in the tub. It wasn’t harming anyone, and you really did feel like this is what was best for you at the moment. The water came up to the top of your chest, and you took a moment to sink yourself down, allowing your knees to bend and pop up out of the water for a short amount of time. The water crept up your neck and you took it upon yourself to close your eyes. You were relaxing whether people wanted you to or not. You deserved this. You deserved all of this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your water began to run cold and you felt like it was officially time for you to exit the tub. You had washed yourself from head to toe, and by the time you were dressed in a white nightgown, had your hair combed through and dried, and were settling down in a brand new bed that actually made you feel like a princess, you felt like a brand new person. It was late by then, the clock next to your bed indicated it was going on 9 PM. Even though you didn’t want to go to sleep, you thought there was nothing else to do with your time. You didn’t know the mansion well enough to go back to the library, and even if you did you were in pajamas already. You also didn’t feel like bothering Grace to entertain you when you were sure she was starting to go to bed as well. All you had was yourself, your comfortable bed, your fairytale bed curtain, and your thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The minute you turned out the light, the first thing your mind jumped to was to Mr. Ren. His looks, his fame, his riches, his voice, everything hit you all at once. You sat there, your hands behind your head while you stared up at the tip of the bed curtain. The moonlight shone brightly through the window, and you could just barely see the light pink tint. You smiled, thinking of how he said you were headstrong and admirable. It did nothing but make your heart flutter. You brought the heavy blanket up to your chin and squealed quietly to yourself. It wasn’t as if Grace and the rest of the people in the mansion hadn’t been giving you compliments all day long, but for some reason hearing a compliment from him was different. Was it because he was so good looking, because he was rich and powerful? You really didn’t know. All you knew was thinking about his words over and over made you shiver, at least until another memory surfaced in your mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Touch. The way he touched you was extraordinary. The gentleness of his massive hands, the comforting weight of his arm over your shoulder. The moment was so brief, yet you thought you could still feel his fingers on your knuckles, his body against yours. It was so golden, so alluring, that you could still feel his warmth on your body. You closed your eyes, running your hand over the fingers he touched, then your arm over your shoulder and felt goosebumps rising over nearly every inch of your arm. This was unlike any feeling you ever had before, and the euphoria you felt even just remembering what he had done to you was intoxicating. You took a deep breath before removing your hand from your arm and turning yourself on your side, settling down to sleep and pushing the thoughts about Mr. Ren from your mind. According to a little note you found on the dresser, one of the maids would be bringing you tea at 9 AM tomorrow morning, and you wanted to be fully rested to greet them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning you woke up to a knock on the door. It was quiet, and you were just barely roused by the second knock that happened about thirty seconds after the first. It was sobering to say the least, as Hanagan would never knock and neither did any of your sisters. If you did get a knock from the other side of your bedroom or the bathroom, 99 percent of the time whoever was on the other side would simply let themselves in. But not this person. They were being courteous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>During the night you had apparently kicked the blanket off of you and it half of it dangled off the side of the bed and the other half clung to your leg. Your thighs were exposed, and you felt like whoever was on the other side of the door didn’t need to see you like this, so before allowing them entry you quickly covered yourself. “Come in!” You shouted, still feeling the sleep tugging you back down into the bed. You felt like you had slept on a cloud all night long, and it was the first time in a long time you had slept all night. The sun was out, shining bright and urging you to stay awake, but everything in you was telling you to go back to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door opened, and from behind the canopy you watched as a happy woman struts into your room. “Good morning, dear Saint!” She said, and you could only smile at her. It took you a moment to realize that she carried a tray, which held a small ceramic tea kettle, one teacup, and a small plate of cookies. She set the tray down on the small dining table that stood next to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here’s your morning tea, and breakfast is being served downstairs when you’re ready!” Again, you could only smile at her as she smiled so brightly back at you. The tea smelled good, so herbal and so earthy. You had never drank tea before, and you were excited to try some even though you were so incredibly tired. The woman waltzed out of your room, and as soon as the door was closed you took it upon yourself to slink out of bed. The feeling of the canopy falling from your bare skin helped you wake up a bit, but the aroma and heat of the tea once you stood over it was even better. It was dark brown, steam rose gently from the rim, smelled lightly of lemon and even came with a lemon wedge on the side. The cookies that they brought for you were oval shaped and molded with the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lotus </span>
  </em>
  <span>on the top. You reached for one, and your tastebuds immediately lit up when you took a small bite. They tasted like the best gram cracker you had ever had in your life. After finishing the rest of the first one in one bite, you reached for the other one but quickly stopped yourself. You thought you were supposed to eat these with the tea, so perhaps it would be best to dip the cookies in the tea, even though you had no idea what it would taste like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still dead tired, you finally sat down at the table and picked up the last cookie, carefully dunking it into your tea. The skin of your fingers was especially sensitive to the warmth and steam, and you felt a shiver up your spine as you drank in the feeling. With the cookie thoroughly soaked you lifted it from the cup and brought it up to your mouth, and just before you bit down onto it a small drop fell onto your tongue. You gasped, dropped the cookie onto the tray. The tea was piping hot! Even the small drip that landed on the soft flesh of your tongue was enough to jolt you awake, and you found yourself pushing the tray away and standing up almost immediately. It still tasted good, it was just too hot. Maybe if you just let it cool down for a moment it would be safe enough to drink. You crept back into bed and lay back down, staring up at the mesh canopy and trying to keep yourself awake. Breakfast was being served soon, but maybe if you just rested your eyes for a few moments you could wake up, have your tea, and then join everyone for breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plan seemed simple enough. You closed your eyes and thought about how good those cookies tasted. You couldn’t wait to have another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You felt like you had only slept for a few more moments when you roused on your own. You felt so much more rested, and with a big stretch you woke up all of your senses. Now it was time to try your tea for the first time. Again, you sat up from the bed, parted the canopy and made your way to the table. Your tea wasn’t nearly as aromatic as it was when it was first delivered to your room, and you were incredibly disappointed when you touched the small white cup and found it to be cold. You stopped for a second, turned to look at the clock and were mortified to see that it was 11:40  in the morning. You had slept for another nearly three hours, and surely you would have missed breakfast by now. Your stomach grumbled, you were hungry. You wanted to see what kinds of delicious things Mr. Ren’s kitchen could come up with, and you thought that maybe, if you made it downstairs before noon you could still be served breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the blink of an eye you took off to the bathroom, quickly doing your hair up in a ponytail and brushing your teeth. You made a note to try flossing and using mouthwash tonight when you were getting ready for bed, but for now you wanted to get downstairs. After throwing on some deodorant you ran from the bathroom to your bedroom, opened your drawers and pulled out the first dress you could find. It was mint green, buttoned up along your chest and fit you quite loosely. You felt it was a very spring and summer time dress, but it was the only thing you had at the moment and you intended to keep it. With just ten minutes left you slipped on the shoes they gifted you, opened the door and immediately booked it down the hall. You had an idea of where to go, but you still shot a look at Grace’s door anyway. You didn’t need to bother her; you were confident enough in yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hallways were empty, save for one or two people passing by you and smiling at you. One man with a handful of soaps asked if you needed help getting to where you were going, and you assured him you knew what you were doing. The never ending cream color of the walls seemed to taunt you, along with the wood doors you’d come across every so often. Especially since you came to a fork in the halls where you could only turn right or left. You were beginning to wonder if you were in a hotel, what with the repetition of the doors and lights. The hallway to the left was short, housing only two doors so obviously that wasn’t the right way. So you went onto the right, crossing your fingers and hoping there weren’t any more twists and turns. You could only vaguely remember the way to your bedroom, and as the seconds ticked by everything was coming back to you. Things were looking familiar, and after making another right turn you sighed in relief as you could see the grand piano all the way at the end of the hallway. You did it! You made it to the main foyer all by yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You felt like you were running out of time, so by the time you were sure you knew where you were going you began speed walking, nearly sprinting down the hall and the staircase before making a sharp right into the dining room. You were amazed to find it empty, save for just one seat that was filled at the very end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr. Kylo Ren stared up at you as soon as you came sliding into view of the dining room, and the atmosphere instantly became incredibly awkward. What were you supposed to do, or say to him? This is where you intended to eat as well, but yesterday he kicked you out of his office. You swallowed a thick wad of saliva as you took another step into the dining room, fully intending to say good morning to the man, but as usual he beat you to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Weren’t you supposed to go out with Grace this morning?” He asked looking back down into a bowl of rather bland looking cereal. It reminded you of the oatmeal Hanagan would make for you every morning, only his food had much more of a rich brown tone to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes,” You began, forcing a smile onto your face. “I think so, but I just woke up and was hoping I was in time for breakfast.” He once again lifted his eyes up to you, then let out a heavy sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kitchen will cook whatever you want, whenever you want it. There’s no need to worry.” He assured you, and you were incredibly relieved. “Just flag down a kitchen worker the next time one runs through here and let them know what you want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I can do that!” You said gleefully, standing there and rocking on your heels as Mr. Ren went back to eating from his bowl. This was incredibly awkward, but you assumed he wanted you to take his advice and sit yourself down and wait. While he wasn’t paying attention to you, you slipped into the chair at the other end of the table and just waited, trying your hardest to stare at everything but him. The skin on your hands began to prickle as you thought about what he had done to you in his office last night, how badly you wanted him to simply hold your hand again. To hug you even, you just wanted him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>touch </span>
  </em>
  <span>you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blinked, looking down at the table as he lifted his gaze to you again. You had been staring at him, and you didn’t know how long you had been staring either. This was embarrassing. You didn’t know why you harbored these thoughts and feelings toward him. From the impersonal, short, annoyed responses he had given you over the last day, you knew he had little to no interest in you. You, on the other hand, had a lot of interest in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint?” He asked, startling you. You looked up at him, hoping the red burning into your cheeks would not be as visible as it felt. He was looking at you so sternly, like he was your father reprimanding you for some reason. Again, you had done something wrong and you could feel your heart almost coming to a halt in your chest. You didn’t think there’d be any way to save yourself from this situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I get you anything, my dear?” He asked, and you simply shook your head. You could tell that he wasn’t really asking you what you needed. He was being sarcastic. What he really meant to ask you, was why were you encroaching on his space? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Mr. Ren, sir,” You began, sitting yourself up and clearing your throat. “You said the kitchen would cook me anything I wanted, and I just had to wait for a kitchen worker. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m just waiting.” You forced a smile onto your face, but couldn’t stop yourself from letting your eyes fall to his hand as he reached for a napkin and wiped his mouth clean. His hands were so big, so warm, and so comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’d give anything for him to feel them running over your arms just one more time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well then.” He spoke, dropping his napkin over his bowl of cereal. “I’m going on my walk through Central Park. I will remind Grace that you had an interest in the theater, and maybe you two can go see a show.” He began to walk toward you, buttoning up his suit jacket and refusing to look you in the eye. You thought it was odd that he was going on a run when he was wearing such a sharp suit, but you had to remember he was a businessman. Perhaps he wore the suit this morning for work, then came out for a late breakfast and now he was going for a walk. That hardly made any sense to you, but that wasn’t the important part. You were more impressed that he was going to Central Park of all places. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to Central Park?” You asked, unable to hide your bewilderment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Central Park. It’s not too far away and if I bundle up I won’t be too cold.” He walked past you, through the archways and began to turn toward the steps, still not paying you any mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you have fun. I’ve always wanted to visit Central Park.” You started to turn back around into your seat to simply wait for a kitchen worker in silence, but Mr. Ren’s sudden halt in the foyer drew your attention to him again. He slowly turned around, holding his arms rigidly at his sides. His face held a shocked expression, almost as if he was angry at you for some reason. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean ‘you’ve always wanted to visit, Central Park?’” He asked, and you felt like you were being interrogated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve just never been to Central Park. Always wanted to go, though.” You did your best to smile past the embarrassment, but could only see it as a blessing when he began stepping toward you once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me that you’ve lived in New York City your entire life, and you’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>been around, or seen, Central Park?” You shook your head at him, had nothing else to say except for the excuse you had given for everything during your entire life:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Hanagan, she never let us out. The most I’ve seen is the street right outside of the Orphanage.” You lied, keeping the accounts of all of your breaks for freedom to yourself. You didn’t want to paint yourself in a bad light as Hanagan already had and, truth be told, you were beginning to think running away did make you a bad person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve not seen the city at all?” He asked you again, to which you could only nod your head. You could have sworn you saw the man twitch, then saw the tension fall out of his body with a heavy sigh. “That is completely unacceptable.” He said sternly, and your heart immediately sank. You felt like you were being punished for not experiencing all of what New York City had to offer, and it was a horrible feeling. Mr. Ren turned away from you again, walking a foot ahead of himself and shouting for a woman named Robin. Within a few seconds one of his maids came running from the kitchen in front of him, smiling at greeting him happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please take Miss. Saint’s order here, and then make arrangements for us to go to Central Park by car.” He said, beginning to walk toward the stairs. In a moment, your mood instantly skyrocketed. He said it. The magic word: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Us. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You had no idea why the thought of going somewhere with Mr. Ren was so exciting to you, but it was. Maybe it was the fact that you were going somewhere new with him, or maybe it was just because you were excited to finally have a positive interaction with him for once. Either way, you were experiencing something new. With or without Mr. Ren, that in and of itself was something to look forward to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen Grace?” He asked Robin before ascending the steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last I saw her she was taking a phone call in her study!” She said as she pulled a pen and a pad of paper from her dress pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please let her know that she is to accompany us.” Mr. Ren said, soon completely disappearing from your field of vision. It was even better; your new friend Grace was coming along as well. You hadn’t seen her all morning and you were thrilled to hear you’d get to spend time with both of them. You simply smiled at Robin as she made her way over to you, unable to react with anything but internal screams of joy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I get you, love?” She asked you, and you almost forgot what you had originally planned on ordering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you have is okay!” You exclaimed. Right now, the only thing on your mind was how much fun you were going to have. The warming and tingling of your hands and arms was a welcome distraction.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this chapter took forever. The chapter I was working on was ten pages long and I don't like to post a chapter until I finish one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I forgot to mention last chapter that I had to change Saint's birthday from the 10th of December to the 4th. It just made this chapter flow a lot better with the story. She needs as much time to acclimate to Kylo as possible!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>For breakfast, you enjoyed a hearty bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal, two slices of french toast, four small quail eggs over easy, and two slices of bacon. Again, you stuffed yourself entirely too full, topping off your breakfast with a tall glass of cold apple juice. Everything was just as heavenly as dinner was, and instantly breakfast became your favorite meal of the day. Everything was so sweet, like desserts you weren’t supposed to be having for breakfast, and it all settled into your stomach, leaving you feeling full and satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as the maids were coming over to clear your part of the table off, the sound of heels clicking across the foyer drew your attention. You spun around in your seat and were happy to find Grace striding her way toward you. She was dressed in a similar style to when you met her, only her dress was white instead of blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, there you are Saint.” She said, her voice full of understanding. “I had been checking on you every hour since you got your tea, and when I walked into your room and you weren’t there I worried endlessly about you!” You smiled at her, her tone shifting to one that was a little more sympathetic. You didn’t feel like you were being punished for evading her, or for leaving your room when you weren’t supposed to. In a way, it felt like you had gained some trust within her. If she could trust you to get yourself ready and navigate yourself to the dining room, maybe she could trust you to find your way around anywhere without her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was informed that Mr. Ren would like to take you on a walk with him today.” Grace smiled as she pulled up a chair next to you. Your heart fluttered as her playful tone, almost as if she was teasing you for having a date with him. You nodded as you gulped down the remainder of your apple juice, and Grace simply laughed at you in response. “I have to say, Saint, I’ve never in my time living on the Ren estate seen Mr. Ren invite anyone on a walk before. You must be incredibly special.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say that.” You said, blushing so hotly you thought you’d begin to sweat. “He just thought it was strange that I’ve just never seen Central Park.” Your explanation earned yet another giggle from Grace, and this time you found yourself laughing with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well strange or not, I think it’s going to be good for both him and you to get out of the house. Er, all of us I guess since he’s asked me to go with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t wait to see the park.” You said. Truthfully, as happy as you were to be spending time with both Mr. Ren and Grace, you were even more excited to be experiencing something brand new. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Central Park. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You had heard from other people that it was an extraordinary place and you never thought you’d be lucky enough to see it--let alone see it with two of the most iconic people of all of New York. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finish up your breakfast, then get yourself ready to go. On your bed you’ll find another gift.” Grace said before rising from the table and heading out toward Mr. Ren’s office. “Just come on down when you’re ready. We’ll be waiting for you!” She called, and almost immediately you shot up out of your seat. You only had a few more bites of toast left, but it was more important to you to get yourself ready. But before you got too far from the table you decided to stack your plates and silverware on top of each other just as you had seen the maids do before taking them to the kitchen. You didn’t think it was fair for you to leave such a huge mess for them, so you did your best to make their job as easy as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After throwing on some tights to try and protect your legs from the cold, you quickly hurried downstairs. You dawned your gifts proudly: a brand new beret that was light blue and some matching gloves. You knew both of them would go so well with your new coat, and when you saw Eli standing at the door with your coat in his hands, with both Mr. Ren and Grace accompanying him, you practically skipped over to him in order to complete your outfit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look so cute, Darling.” Grace said, nearly squealing over you. She reached up and adjusted your hat, commenting on how it was only a little bit loose but it should be alright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still love it!” You said, almost feeling as if she was babying you. You had heard that other girls, especially teenage girls, hated this kind of thing, but you found yourself embracing it. No one had ever babied you. No one had ever really taken care to make sure your clothing was fit, or that you were properly fed, or knew your way around. It was an interesting and welcome change, having someone look out for you for once in your life. In a way, you wished Grace had been your mother. You thought if every mother were like her, no child would ever end up in an orphanage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eli held your coat to your back, and as you put it on you lifted your eyes to Mr. Ren, you noticed he quickly looked away from you. He looked toward the floor as he adjusted his coat over his shoulders, but it was clear he had been staring at you. Even he was impressed with your new look, he just didn’t want to admit it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we all ready?” He asked, turning and beginning to unlock his door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>ready?” Grace asked you, and you felt like you couldn’t say yes fast enough. “Then yes, Mr. Ren, we’re ready to go.” Right on cue, Mr. Ren opened the door and held his arm out. You were the first to head out into the stiff December air, and the first thing you noticed was how much warmer you were. The hat didn’t quite cover your ears, but the cat combined with your brand new soft gloves and coat left you feeling much warmer and secure than you ever had been. It was like you were royalty, and it was a feeling you wished you could have lived forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Grace taught you all about Central Park in the back of the same car that had picked you up yesterday, Mr. Ren sat silently in the front seat. You were so consumed by what Grace had to say and the city whizzing by you out of the windows that you had nearly forgotten he was there. He seemed to just stare straight ahead, at the concrete jungle that unfolded with every passing minute. It seemed like everywhere you looked it was all the same, buildings upon buildings upon buildings. But the tiny details, the diverse people that roamed the streets, the multi colored cars and the thin green trees, the potholes, the roads, the cracks in the sidewalks, it all made observing the city worthwhile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr. Ren had been right, the drive to Central Park was only a short way away. Once you had pulled up and the door had been open for you, you nearly launched yourself from the seat. Before you stood the most green you had ever seen in your life. Sure the hills you had passed along the railroads were open and beautiful, but it wasn’t as if you got to interact with them at all. You couldn’t believe that there was what could have been considered just an open field in the middle of New York City. You wanted to explore every inch of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shall we take up one of the walking paths, or would you like to see one of the lakes first?” Grace asked, wanting to know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to do during your first trip to Central Park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kinda want to do both.” You said. You couldn’t take your eyes off of the trees that had lost most of their leaves, the bushes, and the flowers that still managed to bloom during the winter. There were people who seemed to be having just as much fun as you thought you’d have; families of every size, shape, and color holding hands, dressed in the warmest of clothing as they walked the concrete paths listening intently to one another. There were joggers, people walking dogs and eating food. You thought it was incredible that icecream was still being served somewhere during the dead of winter, but you thought, at this point, anything was possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren, a word?” Grace said, and when you turned around you saw Mr. Ren had walked a few feet away from both you and Grace. He had turned, stared at Grace as if he were lost for a moment, then walked back to the two of you reluctantly. “Since this is Saint’s first time in the park, why don’t you show her the path you usually walk. You tell me it’s breathtaking every day, I’m sure she’d like to experience it.” You observed him for a moment, and when you saw the look of horror plague his face and knew he never intended to walk this path with you, you decided to look off into the direction he was heading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s alright, I’d just like to see as much as I can.” You clarified, but really what did it matter? If Ren wanted to go left and demanded that you and Grace go right, you’d still get to see the park. Even though you were looking forward to spending time with him, and secretly wishing you could get him to hold your hand again, you told yourself over and over that you wanted to see the park more. You looked to Grace who was glaring at Mr. Ren, probably silently warning him about this “bad press” he was alleviated by having you over. He sighed, looked back at you and forced another smile onto his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’d love to have you join me on my walk, Saint.” He said, and you reciprocated his smile. “The path gets lonely sometimes, not having anyone to talk to. It’s nice to have the company today.” Without even waiting for you and Grace to accompany him, he once again turned and began to walk off. You turned to Grace and exchanged an understanding smile before speed walking to catch up with him. You couldn’t wait to get on with your tour of this giant park.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I usually like to walk around the northern part of the park,” Mr. Ren explained. You noticed about twenty minutes into the walk he started to relax, become a little more talkative and more open to what you had to say. “Over the bow bridge and around the lake. During the summer lots of people like to take their boats out on the lake. It’s quite relaxing to watch.” You had never seen a boat in real life before, were never really interested in riding one until Ren had mentioned that people take them out on the lake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How big is it?” You asked him. It was your understanding that park lakes weren’t that big, but judging by the size of this park, you were beginning to doubt yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s huge. Big enough for several boats to be on at once.” You thought that was amazing, and you for sure wanted to make it to Central Park in the summer to see it with your own two eyes. Maybe if you were lucky, someone would take you boating with them and you’d get to experience it yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr. Ren and Grace told you other stories as you made your way up the path, of how they grew up with their parents taking them to Central Park often. The memories they had made, the good food they ate, the fun people they had met. They flew kites, they rode bikes, ice skated, had picnics, and so on. It sounded like so much fun, but you couldn’t stop yourself from being jealous of their upbringing. It was so sad to dwell on what you had missed out on growing up in an orphanage. You were happy for them, no doubt about it, but you couldn’t stop asking yourself why you had to spend your life under the roof of a broken down building with an abusive woman raising you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your depressing thoughts were interrupted by a laugh. A simple laugh, a deep, almost monotone laugh that you didn’t recognize. Sure there was laughing all around you that day, but this laugh was much closer to you. You turned your head just in time to see Mr. Ren pointing straight ahead, smiling and laughing ever so quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, Saint?” He said, his hardened demeanor seeming to crumble before your very eyes. “This is the lake I was telling you about.” You looked forward and was amazed to see the biggest lake you could have ever thought of sitting in front of you. It literally stretched from one end of the trees to the other, and in the middle of it sat a white bridge. “If you’re lucky, you can see people fishing on the bridge and on the sides of the lake.” He looked back down at you, smiling warmly and genuinely at you. It was as if the man that you had met and spent such little time with at the estate was a completely different person than the man that you were on a walk with now. You much preferred this man over the other, he seemed more like an actual person than a cold, emotionless robot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fishing? You’re allowed to do that in the city?” You asked him as the group approached the bridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honey, in NYC anything is possible.” You smiled back at him, loving his explanation. Nothing else was needed. New York City was a magical place, and once you reached the apex of the bridge, the part where you could turn and see both ends of the gigantic lake that you were standing over, you decided that you never, ever wanted to leave this beautiful city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You looked over the left side of the bridge at the fattest part of the lake and were so shocked to see that there were people ice skating along the wide open lake. Their laughter and squeals of excitement carried up to you as you watched them glide so effortlessly across the ice. Some of them, mostly the younger children seemed to shuffle across, while others seemed to fly like it was nothing. One woman was showing off hard. Doing spins, figure eights, and even skating backward. She wore a bright pink jacket and black tight pants, and her long brown hair flowed behind her with every turn. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow.” You said breathlessly before turning and looking and Mr. Ren, who had taken a spot right next to you. “You get to see this every day?” You asked him, and he only shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only when I can get my mind off of my work and make it out here.” He answered, but you didn’t understand. Why would he want to work when he could be out here having as much fun as you were every day?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you can see, Saint, when Mr. Ren isn’t consumed by his work, he is a much more likable man.” Grace cut in, making everyone laugh all at once. That statement was most definitely true. You wished Mr. Ren could always be like this around you. You turned your head back to the people ice skating. If the smallest part of New York City was this great, you couldn’t imagine what the rest of the city had to offer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I’ve lived here my entire life and have never seen these things.” You said, and you jumped at Mr. Ren’s response to your statement. He laid a hand upon yours for just a second, rubbing it as if to reassure you. You were sure it was an innocent gesture, that he had no ill intentions but it didn’t stop your mind from racing. You silently cursed your gloves as he lifted his hand from yours, wishing you could have had the direct contact you were so desperately wishing for. The touch only lasted a few seconds, yet your heart had halted in your chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have time to see it all. Don’t you worry.” He said, staring back ahead at the lake. The promise absolutely melted you. Mr. Ren was going to take you to see </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of New York City. It was like a dream come true. “Grace, when we get back to the estate clear my schedule for Thursday, please.” He said as he turned from the railing. You followed close behind him, thinking he was ready to go and you should be going as well. You held the hand he had touched for a moment with the other, trying to quell the tingles that were currently racing up your arm. You really couldn’t explain why only his touch made you feel like this. It was embarrassing to say the least, and enchanting to say the most. It was a feeling you loved, perhaps a little too much, and it was so strong that you nearly missed the rest of the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This coming Thursday is Saint’s birthday.” Grace said, standing in the center of the bridge with Mr. Ren now. You kept forgetting all about it time after time, and once you connected the dots you realized that Mr. Ren was not only going to show you the city, but he was taking the entire day off for your birthday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to go ice skating with Saint that day. Does that sound okay with you?” He asked, turning back toward you. His expression had once again returned to being a serious one, as if he was making an appointment for his work. Rubbing your hands together a little more quickly, you excitedly bobbed your head up and down. You had never been ice skating before, and now you were going to be learning with Mr. Ren at your side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never been ice skating before!” You said almost frantically. You were just over excited at the prospect, and on your very first day of adulthood! It would be a most amazing birthday gift. Running back up to the railing to watch the woman who seemed to be an Olympic figure skater continue to perform her routine, you once again took it upon yourself to thank Mr. Ren, just under your breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, my dear,” He came up to your side once more. “We’re practically going to be roommates for the next month. You can just call me Kylo.” The proposition was wonderful, and you couldn’t stop your heart from fluttering when you realized that this was the most open he had been with you. This is what you had wanted from the very beginning: a brand new friend. Your eyes fell from his down to his large, rough looking hands that were resting upon the bar just like yours were. You had to fight yourself on reaching out and holding his hand to celebrate your new friendship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your walk with Grace and Kylo continued over the Bow Bridge, around the rest of the lake, and back down to the place where the two of you had originally started your walk. The walk back was once again filled with fun stories, mostly about figure skating as that’s what interested you the most. Grace told you she was never good at skating, while Kylo told you he had been a handful of times during his lifetime. He was no expert, but he felt comfortable teaching you the ropes. You spent more time telling them that your little vacation was turning out to be much better than you expected, and you couldn’t wait to see what else they had in store for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The small talk continued for another hour until you made it to the crosswalk where the driver and car were parked on the other side of the road. You had been so wrapped up your walk with Grace and Kylo that you hadn’t noticed that the weather was beginning to change. It looked as if it were going to rain, and the wind was beginning to pick up. You grew cold and hugged yourself to keep warm, couldn’t wait to get into the car that Grace had assured you would be nice and warm. As soon as you got to the intersection a swift gust of air blew past you, chilling your face so badly that your eyes watered and your nose began to grow sore. It was so annoyingly painful that you tucked your chin into your chest to try and stay warm. All you were focused on was the black car on the other side of the road, until the wind unexpectedly grew stronger and you found that your head was suddenly colder and your hair became rather loose. Your first instinct was to reach on top of your head to see if your new worst fear had become true, but the flash of light blue fluttering through the sky had told you that your brand new, most likely very expensive beret was now floating away from you, and your reaction was completely involuntary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shit!” You cried, reaching up and running after it. You weren’t thinking, the only thing on your mind was recovering your hat. It would devastate you to lose it, especially since it was a gift. You moved faster than you wanted to, jumping up after it but it blew out of your reach. Your gaze was fixed into the air, and you weren’t paying attention when a car driving ten miles above the speed limit quickly approached the crosswalk just as you were unknowingly running into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint!” Kylo cried, screaming above Grace whose only reaction was a horrified gasp. You heard the tires screech to your left, looked over just in time to see the lady behind the wheel drop her mouth open as her body flew forward, reacting to having to hit the brakes so quickly. Before you could say or do anything you felt someone grab your wrist and pull you backward, so far that you went stumbling out for the crosswalk and back onto the sidewalk. By now you were sure your face was incredibly pale as your soul had been frightened right out of your body. You weren’t even sure if you were still alive as the adrenaline had completely numbed your body, but when you looked to the person who was holding your hand and you saw it was Kylo you knew you had made it out of that intersection with your life. It was like he was an angel, having saved you from the car that would have definitely killed you had you not been pulled from out in front of it. Your cheeks began to warm in embarrassment, and when you looked back to the woman that almost hit you, at her look of absolute horror and bewilderment, you felt tears brimming in your eyes. You had been so incredibly careless, and you couldn’t imagine how guilty that woman must be feeling having almost ended your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my goodness!” Grace exclaimed as she ran over to you and Kylo. “Saint honey, are you alright?” She asked. You looked over at her just as Kylo let go of your hand, and you could only nod your head. You were still spooked, and didn’t have it in you to speak to her. You looked back out into the intersection and saw Kylo waving at the woman, crouching down and retrieving your hat that was sitting on one of the white lines of the intersection. When he was on his way over to you the woman began to accelerate her car, taking one last worried look over at you before driving off. That had been the most gutwrenching experience you had ever felt, and you had only begun to calm yourself when Kylo had returned to the sidewalk and handed your hat back to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be more careful next time.” He spoke sternly, placing your hat in your hands. You nodded your head as Grace ran her hand down your back, trying to comfort you as you tried to calm yourself. You weren’t dead, you had your hat back, and you were now safely out of the road. There was nothing to worry about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except for one thing. The minor detail of Kylo grabbing a hold of your wrist to pull you back. Now that you had the opportunity, now that you weren’t on death’s doorstep, you could focus on the fact that you had felt his skin again. Your lip trembled, your hands once again began to prickle as you thought about how big and warm his hand felt against your skin. Each and every time he touched you it was like your passion for him grew and grew. Even in a life or death situation, you found yourself growing closer and closer to Kylo Ren. It was truly a life changing feeling. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Crossing the street to the car brought on even more attention for you. Many people flocked to the three of you, both from the other side of the street and from the park, asking if you were alright and if you needed medical attention. Kylo said nothing while Grace would simply smile and assure them that everyone was okay. The driver, having seen everything from the start, asked if you were alright the moment Grace opened the door for you and started to push you inside. People that were closer to you squinted, and it only took one man to exclaim that billionaire Kylo Ren was around to conjure up a new interest. People turned their heads and oogled in your direction, and it would seem your near brush with death had brought on almost too much attention for Grace to handle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the estate, please.” Kylo said as he loaded into the front passenger seat, and from there the driver immediately pulled away from the sidewalk. People crowded around the car trying to get a glimpse at Kylo, but only stared at you in confusion. They obviously didn’t know you and were probably confused as to why you were in the car with them. For some reason, you felt even more guilty having brought so much attention to Kylo and Grace. You tried to blame it on the fact that you had never really played in the street, had never had to look left and right for oncoming cars, and never had an expensive hat to keep track of before. But, on the other hand, you were 17. You were just days away from becoming an adult. You should have known better, and you couldn’t help but to think that you had embarrassed not only yourself, but Kylo and Grace as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just so you know, sweetheart,” Grace said, resting her hand upon your knee and pulling your attention from your hands in your lap to her. “We can always get another hat for you. Don’t worry about chasing yours down in the road if it flies away again, okay?” Grace said, trying her hardest to gently reassure you. Again, you were embarrassed. You should have known that. You could have lost your life chasing after an easily replaceable material possession. You had to do better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You responded with just a shy nod, looking down at your hands that you had been wringing in your lap. All negative and upsetting emotions aside, your heart was set ablaze by what Kylo had done to you today. Promising to take you out on your birthday, being friendly toward you, laughing and smiling, talking to you like a regular human being, and saving your life. It was such a game changer, knowing how he could go from stale Mr. Ren to gentle, fun loving Kylo Ren. It would seem you really had become Kylo’s friend by going on a walk with him, but there was just one thing you couldn’t get off of your mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saved you. He protected you. He cared enough about your safety and well being that he took it upon himself to take your hand and pull you back to the sidewalk. What was even better was that you had made contact with his skin. Your sleeve had rolled back far enough, and he had positioned his hand perfectly around your wrist, that you once again got to feel his skin. His warmth. His humanity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You found yourself gripping your wrist the entire way back to the estate, compiling the good parts of your first trip in your head until your emotions once again began to stir to a completely uncharted territory. You stared at the back of Kylo’s head, smiling as you recalled his smile, warming your wrist as you tried to recreate the feeling of his hand around yours. You seemed to glow, heat up as you realized this is the happiest you had ever been, and you didn’t think it could get much better than this. You closed your eyes, imagined his hand around yours as he did on the bridge and allowed your body to tell you what it needed. The warm, full feeling that flowed so fluidly in the lower half of your body, the butterflies that left your stomach so wonderfully sore. The way your heart soared when you thought of his beautiful smile. You didn’t know what to think about any of it, so you simply sat there, rubbing your wrist and imagining a happy Kylo in your head. Today was perfect. You couldn’t imagine a better way to have spent your first time at Central Park.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once back at the estate, you walked close behind Kylo and was met by Eli who began helping everyone out of their coats. He welcomed you warmly, made you smile as you shuffled back into the warmth, only to find that Kylo had removed his coat, handed it to Eli, and started making a beeline to his office in the corner of the foyer. You held back the urge to take a step after him, wishing you could spend even just another minute talking with him about the day you had spent together, but you thought it would be best to leave him alone. You thought he was still angry with you, and if you had learned anything from your time in the Orphanage, it was don’t bother people when they’re angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint?” Grace said, and when you turned around you were once again greeted by her normal, welcoming smile. “What would you say to a plate of spaghetti?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spaghetti sounds good.” You replied. It had been so soon since you ate breakfast, but you could never turn down a dish that came from Kylo’s kitchen. You thought a plate of your favorite comfort food would definitely bring your spirits up, so at Grace’s suggestion you headed toward the dining room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had never had homemade spaghetti sauce before. There was something so special, so unique about it and you couldn’t stop yourself from running your finger through the remaining sauce on the plate and bringing it up to your mouth. Sweet. The sauce was not earthy and acidic like the canned stuff Miss Hanagan used. This stuff was much more pleasurable. When Grace returned to you at the dining table she informed you that a pinch of sugar always made it in with the spaghetti sauce to even it out. You knew so little about cooking and didn’t quite understand her explanation, but with your belly full of delicious food you didn’t feel like you needed to understand it. Food was food, and this food just so happened to be fantastic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day was fairly quiet and neutral. You followed Grace around the estate as she spat out interesting tidbits of information here and there until she had to go about her work, then you were just free to roam. You spent a considerable amount of time in your room flipping through some of the magazines and books before coming down for dinner, and after dinner you enjoyed some banter and card games with the rest of the staff in one of the recreational rooms. It wasn’t nearly as entertaining as going to Central Park with Kylo and Grace, but you were still thankful that they were including you in the fun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night you took a nice hot shower and lay down in your bed, feeling like a fairy surrounded by your light pink canopy. You couldn’t keep your mind from the incident that occurred in the park. Not because you really could have lost your life, but because of the contact you and Kylo had. You noticed when you thought back to this moment that your heart would race, you’d smile unconsciously, and you’d find your skin would grow warm and tingly. It was unlike anything you had ever felt, and it was hands down amazing. Even as you decided to try and sleep you couldn’t get Kylo and the feeling of his hands on yours out of your mind. You simply did not have the words to describe how the man made you feel, but as your fingertips slowly traced themselves up your wrist and arm, over your shoulders and down your torso, you couldn’t help yourself from wanting more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day Grace took you out with some of the chefs for the estate’s weekly shopping trip. Each week the kitchen would plan menus and would shop accordingly for what they couldn’t grow in the gardens. You left the high-end grocery mart with pounds and pounds of meat, different shapes and colors of pasta, cereals, snacks, and so on, and when you returned home you were allowed to help put these items away. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing you thought you’d be attracted to, but you decided to give it a try. Doing something new on the estate was always fun, and getting to run around the kitchen learning about where various food items were placed and why provided you with as much fun as you thought it would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The day after you had your first tennis lesson, paired with a chess lesson by one of the male maids after you helped him fold and put away the uniforms of those who worked on the estate. You learned a lot that day, and found yourself soaking in your bath to try and relax and unwind your sore muscles. So far, not a day had gone by where you weren’t enjoying yourself. Even just strolling through the estate, dressed in you brand new, expensive, well fitting clothing and saying hi to everyone you passed was entertaining enough. Everyone would always be so pleased to see you, and in the end it was just another day in paradise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that remained consistent was the fact that Kylo had hidden himself away from you. Sure, every so often you’d see him roaming the halls, being briefed by his workers. Or you’d see him from far away, speaking with someone at the end of a hall or by the door as he came home from work. Of course, you’d see him disappearing into his office for long stretches of time. Each and every time you’d get the same reaction. You would smile, recall how kind he had been to you, and wish you could just say hi. Kylo Ren was a busy man, and, even though you were used to it by now, it always disappointed you that you couldn’t say hi to him. You would have done anything to see him smile at you again, and for him to place his hand over yours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The morning of your birthday you were awoken much earlier than usual. Your tea and cookies were brought while the sun wasn’t even out yet, and for a moment you were genuinely annoyed. Sleep was something you had come to cherish in your short time on the estate, and you hated it when it was interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodmorning, birthday girl!” The maid, Allison, as you had learned her name to be, said as she cheerily set your tea down on your table. “Mr. Ren would like to remind you that he has plans on taking you ice skating today! He has breakfast ready for you to go downstairs for you and is ready to head out when you are.” You stared at her for a moment, realizing that you wouldn’t have the option to just lay back down and go to sleep. Today, December 4th, was your 18th birthday. And today, you’d be spending your very early morning with the man you admired the most on this entire estate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Allison left you very sleepily and slowly made your way out of the bed and to your small breakfast table where you wasted no time in picking up your small cup of tea, blowing on it to cool it down, and drowned it all in one swing. The past few days had taught you that it was best to drink your tea as hot as you could stand it. The warm, herbal liquid cascaded down inside of you, filling your stomach and awakening your senses all at once. It was the best possible way to wake yourself up, and you felt you’d need the extra jolt to push yourself downstairs. You had a big day ahead of you, and you couldn’t wait to start it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You quickly got yourself ready, dressing in a black dress and doing your hair up in a tight bun. You slipped on a pair of tan tights and, of course, the slip on shoes you had become attached to in order to finish your simple look, and you thought you were ready to go. You figured if you were going to be ice skating you wouldn’t want your hair to be flying around in your face and so on, so you finagled your hair up as well as you could. You stood from the side of the tub after pulling your tights all the way up, looked down the length of your body and thought you were welcoming adulthood in style. The mirror seemed to agree with you that you looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>cute, even though you weren’t used to your hair being in a bun. Now all that was left was to was eat breakfast and meet Kylo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You scarfed down your two Lotus cookies and carried the remainder of your tea throughout the halls, down the stairs, and into the dining room. Almost as soon as you sat down it seemed another maid was coming from behind you, placing a plate full of your favorite breakfast items from the past few days down in front of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, Saint!” She said as she placed another small plate down in front of you. This contained a frosted, strawberry jelly filled donut to have for dessert. You couldn’t have been luckier. You ate quietly and happily, staring out the window as the sun began to rise, painting the once dark, starry sky into beautiful red and orange tones before your very eyes. It was quite serene and peaceful, paired with the busy sounds of the kitchen from the other side of the foyer. The only thing that got you more excited was the sound of a tall man’s footsteps coming up from behind you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Morning, Saint,” Kylo said, and you spun around in your chair to greet him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Morning!” You said, happily. You smiled brightly at him and found yourself growing giddy when he smiled back at you. He was just so good looking, so handsome with his one of a kind grin. The deep linear dimples that appeared around his mouth. The wrinkles that appeared in the corners of his eyes. You had simply never met a man so attractive when they smiled before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, young lady,” He said, adjusting his coat around his shoulders. If you had to guess, you would say he was feeling sort of awkward. He had only spent so much time talking to you one on one, so this was to be expected. You wanted to be closer to him. Closer in a way that you just could not explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You retorted, crossing your ankles together. He cleared his throat, looked to the floor before shoving his hands into his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope that you don’t mind, but it’s just going to be you and I today,” He started, and you felt your heart come to a standstill. “Grace informed me that she woke up with a sore throat and low grade fever, so she is going to stay in bed today and try to heal herself. I know I promised I’d take you ice skating on your birthday, and I wanted to make sure that was going to happen.” You nodded your head, overly excited that you’d be spending time with him alone. Just that thought did things to you, and for the first time, you realize that you may be a little too fond of Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride back to Central park is silent. Kylo sits in the front seat while you sit alone in the back, twiddling your thumbs and taking in the fact that you were now an adult. Try as you might, as much as you tried to focus on the fact that you still had the rest of the month to enjoy yourself, you couldn’t help but to allow the fact that you’d be homeless to loom over you. You tried to push the terrifying thought to the back of your mind, to dwell on the fact that you were having such a fun time here with Kylo and Grace, and of all things today was a day to be celebrated! After today, you’d never have to see Hanagan ever again. You could get a job, and venture out to support yourself. You could get a driver’s license, you could buy a home, a car, and other things to keep all to yourself. You could go to college, learn new skills and get a great job. It would take time, of course. You wouldn’t get them overnight, but you wouldn’t have Hanagan to stop you from achieving your goals of self sufficiency. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d even find a man to help share the load with. A man that would take care of you and keep you safe. A man that would help you live out your dream of becoming a foster parent, to ensure little girls ended up in a much more loving home than the one you grew up in. You smiled to yourself, thinking your life would be complete once you were able to take care of other children who fell victim to unfortunate circumstances just as yourself. Then you really would live up to your nickname.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched as the bright yellow sunrise reflected off every building, becoming brighter and brighter as time passed. Once you got to the park everything seemed to be doused in the golden, seven AM sunlight. You opened the door to the car and ventured out into the entrance of the park, thinking it was almost mystical. The hugging of the cold air to your body, the light blue aura of daylight where the sun couldn’t find you through the trees, your cold breath that would chase after Kylo as you walked quietly behind him. You had never had a birthday this amazing before, and you felt like you had to make your appreciation known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks again for taking me out.” You said, running up beside Kylo and smiling fondly up at him. He had been quiet this entire time, so you were elated to see him turn to you and smile ever so lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you do only become an adult once,” He said with a chuckle, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets. “I wanted to make sure your celebration into adulthood was as special as it could be.” You found yourself blushing at his declaration.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been making my entire stay special, Kylo. Thank you.” You said with a small giggle. You could see the bridge up ahead and your nonstop excitement was continually building in your chest. You had been so looking forward to this, and you wouldn’t let anything stop you from enjoying your time having fun with Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was the goal, my dear,” He spoke, looking toward the bridge as well. “To help someone who is not as fortunate as I. Everyone deserves a carefree Christmas.” The phrase ‘carefree Christmas’ brought a lot of thoughts rushing to your mind. The happiest Christmas you ever had was the year the city soup kitchen came to the Orphanage and made you and the girls a grand slam breakfast. They then passed out handmade teddy bears which, as a ten year old little girl, really made your day. You held onto yours for years, and so did the other girls until they began just disappearing when laundry would come every week. You stashed yours under your bed for as long as you could until Jordan found it and ripped it apart out of anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I don’t have mine anymore you can’t have yours!” She shouted, and you were so mad at her that you took her by the hair and dragged her across the bedroom. Birthdays weren’t any better growing up, so the fact that you were actually celebrating for the first time in your life meant more to you than anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve honestly never been happier in my life, Kylo.” You said as you began approaching the bridge. It was true. You were sure you hadn’t smiled and laughed nearly as much as you had in the last few days. And it was all thanks to him. You saw his cheeks beginning to turn red and you knew you were making an impact on him as well. Once again, you thought the two of you were warming and opening up to one another, and it was truly an exciting thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My mom used to take me ice skating when I was young. I don’t remember too much about how it works, but I’m confident I can teach you at least the basics.” He said as you began to travel up along the bridge. You walked next to him, running your hand over the cold stone and looking past the trees so that you’d be able to see the lake first thing. You tried to imagine a young Kylo Ren ice skating on this very same lake, with a mother holding both of his hands up while they glided across the ice. It was a very happy image, and it made you happy that he at least had a mother to love him growing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And also, I hope you don’t mind,” He stared just as you got to the top of the bridge. You looked over the railing of the stone bridge and found the lake to be completely empty. It was a remarkably breathtaking sight, the rays of sun that reflected off of the near translucent ice paired with the stillness and quiet of the park. It was like you and Kylo were the only two people who existed in the world. “But I paid to have them open an hour early. So it’ll be just us this morning.” At that moment, you began vibrating in excitement. The only thing better than learning how to ice skate on your 18th birthday, would be learning how to ice skate with the lake all to yourself on your 18th birthday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk to the opening of the lake took only another 20 minutes, and it only took the attendants a few seconds to open the gate for the two of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Mr. Ren.” One young girl said with a starstruck smile. She wore a black jacket, a white button up blouse, a white skirt, and a green apron, and her hands shook as she held the door open for the two of you to walk through. Kylo wasn’t even phased by her fawning over him, instead he looked straight ahead to the locker portion of the small building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you got the skates ready for us? Size 13 and size 8?” He asked her, turning around and peering over your head. You stopped awkwardly between them, looked at the woman as she closed and locked the gate behind you two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir, Mr. Ren sir.” She smiled, squeezing past you and inadvertently shoving you into the wall. You huffed, but it seemed like Kylo didn’t notice. He watched as the woman walked around the counter, behind the counter where people pay to skate, bent down and retrieved two boxes. “Here you are, Mr. Ren sir.” She said with a smile. As she handed over the boxes to him, she gazed into his eyes, dropping her mouth open just a bit as it would seem her breath stopped. You knit your eyebrows down as you realized she was likely attracted to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Kylo said, then turned around and headed toward the opening out to the ice. You took another look back at the woman from behind the counter, craning her neck only to see her leaning on her elbows to watch the two of you leave. You were angry. You were annoyed and you didn’t know why. Was it jealousy? Were you </span>
  <em>
    <span>jealous </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this woman that could not keep her eyes off of Kylo? But why? You had nothing to be jealous of. It wasn’t as if you and Kylo Ren, the youngest billionaire of New York City, were a couple. Sure he was good looking, and you were beginning to accept the fact that you were only slightly attracted to him, but he was much older than you. More important, busier, and wealthy than you. You knew there was no way Kylo Ren would even entertain the idea of dating you. You tucked your chin into your chest and followed Kylo silently. You had no reason to be jealous over this woman that didn’t even know him. For all you knew, Kylo had a partner he was hiding from you. He wasn’t yours. He’d never be yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, here we are.” He said as the two of you exited the small shack and were once again out in the open air. Hearing him talking to you and only you was soothing, especially when you had such a beautiful view before you. It was so quiet, the sun was finally starting to peek through the trees and beams of light were reflected across the ice. It brought a smile back to your face, until you felt a hand being placed upon your back. “Here, let’s go over to this bench. I promise you it’s easier than it looks.” He says as his hand splays across your shoulder blades. You were less worried about what it was like to ice skate, and more worried about how you’d have butterflies in your stomach for the next hour. With him touching you like this, you’d never be able to focus on anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sat on the opposite end of the bench as you put on and laced up your heavy set of ice skates. Even though they were your exact size you thought they were awkwardly big and a little uncomfortable. The long, skinny silver blades on the underside of the shoe perplexed you more than anything. There was a good five feet you’d have to walk before getting to the ice. How were you supposed to balance yourself on these?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we go,” Kylo said, and when you picked your head up you saw him flawlessly balancing himself atop his blades. “I haven’t done this in a long time, but it’s like riding a bike. You never forget.” He said with a grin. His skates were white, a pure contrast to his dark ensemble. Your eyes were just drawn to his feet, and you couldn’t help but to repress a giggle at how silly he looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never ridden a bike before, but I’ll take your word for it.” You said, placing your hands flat against the bench at your side, bracing yourself to stand. You hadn’t even put all of your weight on your skates yet, but you could still feel how unstable you were. It made you nervous, and when you looked back up at him you were sure your expression made it loud and clear. “How am I supposed to stand in these things?” You asked. Your worries only earned a small chuckle from Kylo, and within seconds he was at your side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just balance on the blades. It’s easy once you get the hang of it.” He assured you, holding his hand out for you to take. You knew taking his hand would stir all sorts of feelings around inside of you, but you figured the awkwardness of the desire would be worth the memories that were waiting to be made on the ice. You took his hand, your body heating up as he gripped yours and hauled you to your feet. “Easy, easy.” He cooed as his other hand came around your shoulders. It was just like the night you brought him dinner; your hand in his, his arm around your shoulder, and your body against his. It brought a smile to your face, and you found you couldn’t look him in the eye. This is what you had wanted all along, and boy did it excite you to be this close to him yet again. You found yourself leaning into him as your legs wobbled like a newborn dear, trying to find your balance just as he said. “See? You got it. Just take it slow.” He said, purring like a handsome cat in your ear. You found that whenever you leaned one way or another he’d hug you closer to him until you were stable, then ease up a few seconds later. “Now, let’s head toward the rink. One foot in front of the other.” He said, beginning to push you forward, and you had no choice but to comply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nerve wracking, but you still kept a smile on your face the entire time. You wiggled and wobbled as you kept your balance just as Kylo had told you to do, and before you knew it Kylo was releasing you onto the ice. The first thing you did was reach for the guard rail, standing yourself up as it felt like your feet would slip out right from under you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We made it, at least.” Kylo said, giggling at his own joke. You smiled back at him, looking down at the ice below you. This really didn’t look this intimidating when you were watching all those people from the bridge, but you were in way too far to back out now. No matter what, you were determined to have a good time, and you had to start by getting yourself off of this barrier and out onto the ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With an arm still holding yourself to the wall your turned around to see what Kylo was doing, and to your surprise you saw him simply gliding across the ice. His back was toward you, his hands in his pockets while he looked out into the trees that surrounded the lake. You wished you had a camera to capture his beautiful black hair flowing in the wind behind him, at his enormous form as it moved so effortlessly and fluidly over the ice. You were so mesmerized by just the sight of him that you just stared at him in awe. You couldn’t believe that this was the man that had held you so protectively to get you over here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all seemed to end so quickly when he turned in a tight circle to face you, and there you found the most laid back, good looking man you had ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on now, my dear,” He said with an inviting grin. “We didn’t come all the way out here for you to just hang onto the wall.” The comment was in jest, and you found you couldn’t be angry at him even though you were at a disadvantage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Last I checked, someone was supposed to be teaching me how to skate.” You retorted. He nodded his head, propelled himself across the lake to you and came to a stand still at the wall next to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. It’s just such a freeing feeling to be away from work, doing something as fun as ice skating. I live for moments like these. They are truly few and far between.” He said, looking out across the lake again. You liked hearing him talk like this. You liked him much more when he was relaxed, when he carried neutral and happy faces instead of angry and stressed ones like you had seen him have around the estate. You leaned a little bit further on the wall, staring up at him and admiring his profile before he huffed, turned and looked at you. “Well, shall we?” He asked, reaching for your hand. Without any hesitation you placed your palm against his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s shall.” You answered back. You were ready to learn about anything Kylo Ren would be willing to teach you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first few minutes Kylo taught you how to move your feet to move forward. It was quite the show, pulling yourself along the wall while Kylo kept up beside you. It took a while, but you thought you got the hang of it eventually. Kylo took you by the hands and pulled you toward the center of the lake. Again, you were awkward and unstable, especially since your emotions were flying off the handle left and right. You tried your hardest to focus only on moving your feet the way you were supposed to, but instead found your gaze constantly going back to the beautiful man that held onto both of your hands and pulled you across the ice. His large, protective hands held onto your finger tips, pulling you across the ice in every which direction. It felt as if electricity was flowing through his hands into yours, and that magical feeling coupled with his charming smile, his gorgeous honey brown eyes, and the warmth of his body on this chilly day created a never ending feeling of bliss within you. You never would have thought of any better way to spend your birthday than to be hand in hand with Kylo Ren, learning a new skill and creating a priceless memory here on this lake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go. You’ve got it. Just take it slow.” Kylo praised you as the two of you switched positions. He now stood at your side, his hand around your waist sort of pushing you along. You had started to get the hang of it about twenty minutes in, and were thoroughly enjoying every second of his touch, of his holding you, and of the feeling of moving so quickly across the ice. Kylo was right, it was such a freeing feeling even though you were sort of being smothered by him. It didn’t matter, because he didn’t seem to care when you wrapped your arms around him when you’d lose your balance, when you felt like you were going to fall or were going too fast. The companionship was all you really needed, and it left you feeling even closer and attracted to Ren than you had ever felt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of you melted into one person, moving in tandem, flying at incredible speeds and laughing at once another. You thought you had finally found your footing and was confident as he let go of you, sending you sailing off on your own. You held your hands out from your sides and just let the feeling of weightlessness carry you, closing your eyes and inhaling the smell of the sweet, cold, December morning. This morning, the morning of your 18th birthday, had been perfect, and you truly could not think of any other way to make it any better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, look out!” You heard Kylo yell, and when you opened your eyes you were mortified to see another woman coming out onto the ice. Kylo had never taught you how to stop, so you ended up trying to take a sharp turn to avoid her. She turned just as you did, looked at you in shock as you came to a screeching stop just inches in front of her. The result was an embarrassing fall to the ice, landing on your hip before the eyes of Kylo and this stranger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, kid?” The woman asked, looking down at you with pity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, thank you.” You said, attempting to pick yourself up. With nothing to grab or hold onto you had begun slipping again. You could feel your face turning redder and redder by the second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, let me help you.” Kylo’s voice rang out from behind you. You twisted your back to see him, looked back just in time to see him place his hands under your armpits and hoist you to your feet. It would seem you had forgotten everything he had taught you and found yourself wobbling unsteadily again, and acting on your instinct you held onto him. The two of you looked at each other for a moment. He looked worried, protective of you with his mouth in a hard line and his eyebrows furrowed toward his nose. “Are you alright?” He asked, and you felt your cheeks glowing in embarrassment. His protectiveness, his closeness, and his rarely seen relaxed demeanor did things to you. To your body. To your mind. You couldn’t help but to feel cared for, and loved, maybe? Maybe not loved, but these things told you that Kylo did care for you in a way. Your hands began to shake as you hugged him back, ravishing the feeling of your body against his and allowing the lustful feelings to flood your body all at once. At this point, you couldn’t help yourself. You couldn’t hide the fact that you were attracted to the man any longer. You hugged him tighter, breathing in his scent and nodding your head. No one had ever cared for you as Kylo had today. You had never met anyone like Kylo Ren before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, let’s go over to the bench,” He said as he began to move to unwind your arms from him. “I have another surprise for you.” At the mention of yet another surprise your ears perked up. You let go of him, stood on the ice for a moment as he skated a few inches in front of you. You took this time to admire him once again, his hair, his height, his frame, his perfection, and you smiled to yourself. Another surprise. You couldn’t wait to see what he had in store for you.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As the woman who you nearly ran into became acquainted with the ice, Kylo helped you back over to the bench where you had originally put your skates on. You really did have a great time, despite the awkward ending to your adventure. You couldn’t believe you had learned how to skate on your own in only an hour, and you could only hope that Kylo would bring you back here again before it was time for you to be on your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo had successfully walked you to the bench where you sat unstringing and removing your skates. Once Kylo had his pulled off and boxed he walked them back into the shack to return them, and he came back with your shoes in tow. You offered him a grateful smile as you managed to pull one of your skates off, and it was a struggle the entire time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be careful, Saint.” He said, pressing down on your wrist that held your other skate. Before obsessing over the fact that he was touching your bare skin once again, you took a moment to assess the situation. You held the skate on each end, your foot on your knee as you were pulling: blade side up. Perhaps this was a little unsafe. “Here, I’ll help you.” He said, and before you could react to his offer he was sitting down next to you, lifting your skate into his lap and carefully unlacing it for you. You were shocked speechless, and were left staring at him in awe as his gentle hands slowly and gracefully undid the strings. Your thoughts ran wild and you found you just couldn’t take your eyes from him. He was so kind, so caring and gentle with you when he wasn’t working, and when he looked you in the eye while slowly losing the skate from your foot, you thought you might be starting to fall in love with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was Grace’s idea, originally,” He started, removing your foot from his lap and pushing your box of shoes closer to you. “We both knew we wanted to get you something special for your eighteenth birthday, but I wanted your gift to be more, personal if you will.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Personal. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You could feel the sweat forming on your brow as your smile stretched wide across your face. You weren’t expecting him to get you anything, let alone something he picked because it would be personal to you. Something he had put thought into, something he thought you would like. It excited you so much, that you forgot that Eli had told you there were more gifts available for you to open back at the estate. Right now, this was the only gift you felt you needed, and you couldn’t wait to see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted it to act as a thank you gift as well,” He continued with a deep sigh, beginning to fish in his pocket. Whatever he had for you was small, small enough to fit in his pocket. Unconsciously you began leaning forward, eager to see even just a glimpse of what he was gifting to you, but his hands were so large they gave away no hints. “Because, ever since you have come to stay with us, I’ve found it easier to take breaks from my work. In the last few days that you’ve been here, I’ve actually taken the time to relax, to enjoy myself and the little things that you’ve been able to show me.” It was then that he smiled at you, and it was a smile you hadn’t seen before. An appreciative smile, a loving smile. A smile that sent you emotions bouncing off the walls of your head. You smiled back at him, an immense feeling of pride washing over you and muting your erratic thoughts for just a moment. You couldn’t believe that you, an eighteen year old orphan girl, would have been able to help Kylo Ren with anything. Yet here you were, finding out that Kylo owed it to you to have been able to have some fun the last few days. It was such a wonderful revelation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hearing about your stories, smiling with you, and making plans with you has all been so enjoyable. You’re such a small girl, Saint, yet you’ve changed my world in the most massive, powerful of ways. I mean, I don’t know that I’ve smiled this much since I took over my father’s business so many years ago. I went into this deal thinking I was going to have some snot nosed little kid running around and ruining my home, getting into things and being a nuisance. But instead I was sent a very kind, courteous, and incredible young lady. If Grace were here, she’d be quick to tell me I’ve been brought out of my lonely shell, and again, that’s all thanks to you.” With a slight movement of his hand he finally presented you with your gift, and you thought there was absolutely nothing in this world that would have made your heart stop faster.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not only had his speech moved you so much, but his gift was housed inside a small, velvety black box. The first thing your mind jumped to was that it housed an engagement ring, and you began panicking. Was this guy serious right now? You had only been eighteen for a matter of hours. The two of you were polar opposites, and you didn’t think you truly loved him. Your hands shook as you took ahold of the box. What were you supposed to say to this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So go on and open in. Grace picked it out and I added the personal touch.” He pushed you forward, and you felt like you couldn’t put it off any longer. With trembling fingers, you lifted the lid and were blown away when you didn’t find an engagement ring, but a shiny gold necklace that sat atop a small black pillow. There was nothing personal about it, there were no words, numbers, or pictures on it that would tell anyone that it was yours, so you were only a bit confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my word.” You breathed, running the tip of your finger lightly over the smooth surface. You knew it had to have cost a fortune, despite it looking so simple. Pure gold, probably. Hand made, hand designed, and worth much more than your coat, gloves, hat, and shoes combined. You were afraid if you pressed too hard onto it it would break, and when Kylo started to speak to you again you flinched in surprise, again afraid you would accidentally break the precious gift you had just received.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Open it, there’s more to see.” He urged, but you were still lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Open it?” You asked, looking to him for answers. He giggled a bit, took the box from your hands and carefully took the necklace in his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a locket, dear Saint.” He explained, and when he turned the box back to you, you were moved to tears. “It opens, and here I’ve added an important message for you to remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the left side of the locket your nickname was engraved in the most beautiful script you had ever seen. On the right was a short phrase, engraved just as beautifully as your name was:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A very virtuous, kind, patient, and important person. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your eyes swept over the engraving. Over and over you read the official definition of the word ‘Saint,’ and by the 5th time you read it tears began to stream down your face. No one had ever said you were important before. No one had ever made you feel important until this very moment. It would seem you had just begun to live up to your nickname in your own eyes, and you never would have thought you’d be a Saint to Mr. Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what to say, other than thank you.” You said, trying your hardest to keep your sobs at bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that we haven’t known each other for very long, and I know it may seem like I’ve been ignoring you, but ever since that night you bravely walked into my office you’ve impacted me. And I want you to have this to forever remind yourself of your importance. Not just to me, but to everyone you touch with your beautiful spirit.” You closed the locket and stared at your reflection in the small gold pendant, taking every word he said to you to heart. Maybe you were more important than you thought you were. Maybe Kylo did care about you as much as you thought, and maybe it was appropriate to say that he had impacted you just as much as you impacted him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything this expensive, this precious before.” You mumbled, unable to tear your eyes from the jewelry. A sudden burst of guilt began to weigh on you, and it would seem everything he had told you had found its way out of your mind. Who were you to be accepting such an expensive gift? You were an orphan, and would be homeless by the time all of this was over. What did you need a thousand dollar necklace for when you were a nobody? Your smile faded off of your face and you closed the box, and even though you really didn’t want to you handed the box back to Kylo. “Here, I don’t think I can take this from you.” You said, tears still dripping softly down your cheeks. “I just, I don’t think I need it is all.” You said with a smile, but the disappointed look that Kylo gave you hurt you even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched as he opened the box again, fiddled with the locket until it came free from the pillow, and with a straight, serious look on his face he leaned into you and clasped the necklace around your neck. His face was only inches from yours, and the feeling of his warm, gentle hands and wrists against the hot skin of your neck sent a lump straight to your throat. This could not be happening right now. This just didn’t seem real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is nonsense.” He hummed. When he finally got the locket clasped he ran his fingers down the chain, pressing both his fingertips and the chain into the skin of your chest. “You deserve it. You deserve much more than you think, young lady.” He said, smiling at you before finally pulling his hand away from your throat. Your hands immediately replaced his, taking ahold of the locket and trying to retain the feeling of his graceful hands upon your skin; but you quickly found that, just like with Grace’s hand, nothing could ever come close to the feeling of Kylo upon you. He patted your knee, then once again moved your shoes closer to you on the ground. “Well then, I think I’m ready to head back to the estate.” He said, a matter of factly. With your heart in your throat, completely touched by his compassion, you reached for your shoes, ready to follow him wherever he would lead you. “You’ve got more gifts from everyone to open up. Don’t wanna burn too much daylight!” His tone was joyful and compelling, but you had already made up your mind. Nothing would be able to top the gifts Kylo had given you today. You didn’t think you could receive a better gift than spending personal time with Kylo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the ice rink began to fill with patrons, some of which recognized Kylo for who he was and others that minded their business, Kylo led you through the shack and out to the car. The woman who had been a little too friendly smiled and waved at him, to which Kylo only nodded his head back to her. She didn’t even so much as look at you as you followed behind him like a duck, and it still made you angry. You were the one Kylo had taken ice skating. You were the one he had given an expensive locket to. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>were the one that Kylo said was important and deserved everything. Not her. Why would she look to him for affection when he had been giving all of his affection to you all morning long? You stepped a bit closer to him, once again casting a disapproving look over your shoulder at her. Even if it were just for today, he was yours, and you intended to keep it that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car was only a short way away, and you clutched your locket in your hand the entire time. You thought back on how your hat blew away in the wind, and you didn’t think you could live if you had managed to lose your locket the same way. You were sure it couldn’t blow off of your neck, but it was better to be safe than sorry. You crossed the street, staying close to Kylo as if he would save you from getting hit by a car again, headed toward the car that was parallel parked in the same spot as before. He held the door open while you scooted all the way in and, to your surprise, Kylo sat himself in the back seat as well. You smiled at him, internalizing your excitement to have him with you during the short car ride. He had made it abundantly clear that the dynamic between you and him changed greatly, and you felt like the two of you were among the best of friends. It didn’t matter that you were beginning to want more than that with him. If it was all you were going to get, then you’d take it and take it gladly. “To the estate, please.” He said, settling down and putting on his seatbelt. You followed suit, and as soon as the driver had a clearing he pulled out onto the road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You did a lot of thinking. About yourself and your place in the world, about Kylo and his words to you. You had gone your entire life feeling like a burden, a drain on resources, and an unlucky, bad person. Sure, the smallest of your sisters looked up to you as you did your best to take care of them, but Hanagan’s reign of terror had left an imprint on you that you didn’t think you’d be able to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that’s not what Kylo said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo said you were important. Wanted. Needed. He told you that you had helped him relax, focus on things that weren’t work related. Because of your visit and the short amount of time you spent with him, he was able to slow down and focus on the little things in life, things that mattered most to him that work took away. To him, that was extraordinary, and you were an extraordinary young woman. Just thinking back on his words made you glow and smile at yourself as you looked out the window. No one had ever made you feel this important before, and it made you feel like you were soaring high in the sky. Above your past, above everything Hanagan had ever done to you. Kylo Ren made you feel like an entirely new person, like your fractured past meant nothing when he was around. These thoughts, these feelings, coupled with how he touched you all morning long made your stomach bubble, and you could focus on nothing else until the driver had cut into your rose colored thoughts:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, some traffic.” He said. You turned your head to look out the window and realized you could still see the last part of Central park. How long had you been sitting here? It felt like it had been forever. You looked straight ahead and saw a line of cars backed up for what seemed to be miles, and it didn’t seem like anyone would be moving any time soon. “Must be an accident. Sorry folks.” He said, sounding apologetic. Hanagan very rarely took you anywhere when you were in her care, so you had no experience with traffic. You just knew it slowed people down, and with this traffic you’d likely be here for a while. You lay your head back on the headrest and just stared at the brake lights in front of you, not really knowing how to react. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like we may be a little late for the rest of your birthday celebration.” Kylo said with a chuckle. You looked over at him and noticed he looked a bit distressed, disappointed that it would take a while to get back to the estate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. We’ll get there when we get there,” You said, trying to calm his nerves. You had all month long to celebrate with everyone on the Ren estate. You just had to be patient. “I’m not in a rush, really.” You smiled at him, only to have him cast an understanding look back at you. He patted your knee and looked back out through the windshield; yet another form of contact that sent your heart racing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly what I needed to hear today.” He said, and you were content with that. He was a businessman. He probably had deadlines he had to hit, he was probably always in a rush in his work life and never had time to go with the flow. He was appreciative of your calm outlook on life, and you loved it. So you sat still and stared out the window, at the park and the people who ran about it so early in the morning. The radio played soft and quiet jazz music, and this paired with the warmth coming from the heat vents made you incredibly sleepy. You were awoken so early and put through so much this morning that you couldn’t believe it took you this long to feel sleepy. Maybe if you closed your eyes for a while you’d be well rested enough to continue your birthday celebration at the estate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome home, Mr. Ren and Ms. Saint.” The driver said, finally pulling you from your peaceful slumber. You opened your eyes, blinked a few times and looked straight ahead at the estate’s brick driveway. The fountain was just off to the right and you could see a few of the maids hanging out on the front porch, likely taking a break. You were so tired, could really only sit there while trying to will your numb body to move to exit the car. You had been so comfortable, but when you felt something moving beneath your head, you were scared nearly out of your skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You almost instantly lifted your head up and looked toward your left and were mortified to see that, sometime during the drive back home, you had fallen asleep on Kylo’s shoulder. You didn’t even know how you pulled it off, as far as you could remember you fell asleep on the window, yet somehow Kylo had scooted close enough for you to switch positions and you moved your head to his shoulder. You stared at him, felt your cheeks brighten when you spied a drool spot on the front of his shirt. This was embarrassing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” You whispered to him, quickly trying to wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” He breathed, looking down at the patch and quickly looking away to open the door. “It’s only a coat. It’ll wash out.” It didn’t seem to bother him as much as it bothered you, so you tried to put it behind you. His arm was a lot softer than it looked, evident by the fact that you slept so deeply for so long. You followed close behind Kylo, scooting yourself out of the car. Before you had completely left you took a look at the time. It was going on nine AM, and that meant what was usually a ten minute drive had turned into an hour. At most, you had spent an hour sleeping on Kylo’s shoulder, and he didn’t even seem to care. Kylo really was your hero, and you had no clue how far he’d be willing to take this friendship. You could only hope that nothing would ever come between you and him; because you enjoyed being treated like royalty.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was short but it made me cry writing it. I've super fallen in love with Saint I can't hide it anymore lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: Underage drinking.<br/>I tried to do as much research on this as I possibly could, and from what I can gather the legal drinking age in New York state was 19 in the 1950s. This means Saint was one year younger than what was legal, so I'm adding this warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Following Kylo back into the estate, you were met with a surprise party that you couldn’t even dream about. Just like the first night Kylo came home to meet you, all of the staff gathered in the foyer and pounced on you with a loud “happy birthday” the moment you walked in. There were streamers, balloons of all different shapes and sizes, and a large banner that hung over the staircase that read: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Happy 18th Birthday Saint! </span>
  </em>
  <span>You smiled as you ran up to them, wishing your arms were wide enough to hug all of them at once. Never have you had a birthday party this grand before. The most you had ever had was your sisters coming together to celebrate with you, singing you happy birthday and giving you lots of hugs and kisses as gifts. By all means you were grateful back then, but this was just such an experience. As you walked into the crowd completely speechless, Grace emerged from the side, wrapping an arm around you and smiling like a proud mother would smile at her daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome back, Saint.” She said, and the sound of her voice almost brought you to tears. She was the one person you felt comfortable hugging, and you didn’t hesitate to hug her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, thank you!” You screeched, and she laughed at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of, of course, baby. How else were we supposed to celebrate our guest's birthday?” She asked, and you noticed something strange about her. She looked and sounded fine, was all dolled up just like she normally was when you saw her. Wasn’t she supposed to be sick in bed?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to do all this for me. Mr. Ren told me you were sick.” You offered, thinking she had dragged herself out of bed just to wish you a happy birthday. She clicked her tongue, looked to Kylo who was currently handing his coat off to Eli and flashed him a playful look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Saint, sometimes, to make things like surprise parties work, you have to tell a little fib.” She explained, and when you took a moment to look around, at the people that surrounded you, at their loving, beautiful faces, the decorations, and all of the presents in the corner, you understood exactly what she meant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have to agree with that, Grace.” Kylo said, coming up behind you and placing his hand on the small of your back. “It looks like the entire estate is ready to celebrate your transition to adulthood, Saint. Here, let me have your coat and we can open up some gifts.” Kylo said, taking the back of your coat into his hands and beginning to shimmy it off of your shoulders. His hands on you brought on all your familiar feelings of adoration toward him, but his suggestion of opening the rest of your gifts held your attention. You looked to the stack of colorful, well wrapped boxes and bags and figured now would be the perfect time. You were so excited to see what else you were being gifted, but before you could walk away Grace’s much smaller hand was at your collar bones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He gave you our gift!” She exclaimed, looking so enthralled by the gold around your neck. “Oh, Saint,” she moaned, almost looking as if she herself were going to cry. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>beautiful.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, again.” You said, clutching your new most prized possession as she let go of it. “I’ve never really had jewelry before, but I think it’s perfect.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we wouldn’t accept anything less for our beloved guest.” Grace said, wrapping her arm around you and moving you in the direction of your gifts. Kylo was right behind you, walking you and Grace to the gift pile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let the celebration begin!” He exclaimed, and as if it were a race to open your gifts as quickly as you could, you took a dive to the floor to indulge yourself in your first real birthday celebration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The gifts were just as extravagant as your necklace and your outing with Ren. Clothing, sweaters of every style and color. Dresses, skirts, socks, shoes, one after the other you truly thought you had an entire wardrobe all to yourself. Not only that, but hats, earrings, bracelets, rings, and hair accessories were plentiful. Grace gifted you a black and white purse, which had a lacy white bow on the front. It hung at your hip from a long leather strap, and to go with it was a black accordion wallet. You wondered what you’d need a wallet for since you had no money, but when you turned to the small decorative table next to your gifts and saw a stack of colorful envelopes, all with your name on them, you realized you were in for even more birthday fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Each one of the cards was hand signed by each and every one of the staff members. Some wrote fun phrases, wishing you well or leaving you jokes, life advice and whatnot. Tucked inside of each card was a five or ten dollar bill. The card from Santos, the man who taught you how to play checkers, had a twenty dollar bill in it, and that made you laugh because the two of you had bet money you never had on your games over and over. All together, you had roughly three hundred dollars. What you would do with this money, you really weren’t sure. But you wouldn’t have to worry about it now. Now, you wanted to dance, and sing, and thank everyone individually for their wonderful and thoughtful gifts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shifts of the maids and cooks were momentarily suspended as the fun began. There was cake served at noon, and upbeat, happy music filled the entire mansion as everyone took it easy and had real fun for a change. You and one of the maids became dancing partners and tore up the floor of one of the lounges while everyone watched and smiled at you. She told you that you were an excellent dancer, and when she couldn’t keep up with you another one of the male maids stepped up, taking both of your hands and matching your energy. The two of you laughed and laughed, spinning in silly circles and having the time of your life. People sat around your laughing, eating their cake and playing other games, enjoying their time off to celebrate you.  At some point you and the man switched positions, with him holding you around to waist and your other hand out as if you were doing some kind of weird, broken tango move. You loved it, and although it wasn’t the same euphoria you experienced when Kylo did nearly the same thing on the ice, it was still such a wonderful feeling to be so adored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo had been smiling and happy all afternoon long, even though he had done very little interacting with you during the party you still enjoyed seeing him have so much fun. By the time you and the maid had ended your little dance, you decided you needed a break. Perhaps to go get more ice cream, or to go start putting your new clothing away. Either way, you were tired. So you turned toward the opening of the door and were surprised to see Kylo simply leaning against the frame, but he wasn’t happy at all. The corners of his mouth turned down into a twisted frown, and his eyebrows were knit down. He looked angry and frustrated, but he wasn’t looking at you. You turned to the direction he was casting his gaze at and saw the man you had just been dancing with in the corner of the room. He was happily conversing with one of the gardeners and was completely oblivious to Kylo’s death stare on his back. This was the angriest you had ever seen him, so much so that you wanted to talk to him and make sure everything was okay. You turned back to the door and were disappointed when you found Kylo was gone, wondering where he could have gone so quickly. You pushed yourself through the crowd, up to the door where you looked both ways but could not see Kylo anywhere. You were confused, but ultimately decided that Kylo’s anger would be his problem and not yours. You were positive you’d see him later and could ask him what was up, so you decided not to worry about him. Instead, you headed back into the room where you grabbed another cupful of coca cola and went about mingling with the staff again. Today was about you, and you wanted to milk it for all it was worth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The celebration lasted through lunch and soon the staff had to get back to work, leaving you to once again find entertainment for yourself. You did your usual walk through the library, found a fun looking book and curled up in one of the arm chairs and read for a while, you took another stroll through the halls saying hi to everyone you met, and just tried to keep yourself occupied until dinner time, when you sat down with everyone else and enjoyed a plate of delicious seafood. After dinner you elected to have even more cake and a side of ice cream, and then everyone was once again off for the evening. After spending some time with the other women playing pool in the basement of the mansion and talking about “adult” things, you realized you hadn’t seen Kylo all evening long. You worried about him. Usually you found him starting to unwind in one of the lounge areas with a cigar and the newspapers, but tonight you didn’t see him anywhere. You felt like the two of you had grown close enough to be friendly toward one another, and didn’t think going off to make sure he was okay was a bad thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that’s what you did. You roamed the halls, looking in every open room to see if he was around, just so you could check on him. You didn’t know why your first instinct was not to check his office, and it didn’t even occur to you to check there until ten minutes into your search. You condemned yourself for being so thoughtless, but then happily made your way to the main foyer. Once you reached the opening of the foyer on the top level you could just barely see Kylo outside of his office, speaking with one of the male maids. His same look of seriousness adorned his face as he had a conversation that you couldn’t hear. You were intrigued, but knew it was likely none of your business. You were just about to step back into the shadows when Kylo angrily waved the man off, violently throwing his arm forward and turning away from him before disappearing into his office and slamming the door shut. The man in front of him flinched, and when he turned around his face was as white as a sheet. You didn’t recognize him at first, but once he climbed the stairs and started advancing toward you, you realized he was the man you had danced with during your birthday celebration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Saint.” He said sadly as he walked past you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Night, Louie.” You said, watching as he sulked and disappeared down the western hall. You were confused. Why had Kylo been berating him? You tried to make sense of it in your head, but in the end you didn't know everything that went on in the estate. Maybe Louie had been doing something wrong and Kylo had to punish him for it. Whatever it was, you thought he more than likely deserved it. You couldn’t imagine Kylo would punish someone who didn’t deserve a punishment. He wasn’t Miss Hanagan, after all. Once the coast was clear you turned back toward the staircase and headed down to the main level, but you had one stop to make before you went to see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a small bowl of vanilla ice cream in your hand, you bravely made your way out of the kitchen and back to Kylo’s office. You made him happy by bringing him food last time, and no one could turn down ice cream. So you knocked on the door. You stood there and waited until you heard him shout “come in,” and when he finally did you entered the room with the happiest of intentions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Evening, Mr. Ren.” You said excitedly, as if you were one of his workers. He stood there next to his desk, holding a small glass in his hand that housed a deep brown liquid in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, I’ve told you that you may call me Kylo.” He said with a deep sigh before setting the glass down on his desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Kylo,” You said as you ambled across his dark office. “I didn’t see you at dinner and I just thought you needed some ice cream.” You smiled at him, but all he did was stare down into the small bowl. Your disappointment in his lack of a reaction didn’t last very long, though, because soon a smile broke over his face and he laughed with a deep snort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You certainly are too good to me, Saint.” He said, taking the bowl from your hands and starting to scoop some up into the spoon. A proud grin settled on your face as you watched him lift it to his lips and take a bite. He was so good looking, and it didn’t take long for your eyes to wander from his face to his hands. “So how is adult life treating you so far?” He asked, seemingly trying to start a conversation with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I’ve only been an adult for so many hours.” You giggled. He shared your same reaction, placing his icecream down and pushing a chair in front of his desk out for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, have a seat. Tell me about what your plans for adulthood are.” As you were sitting down you contemplated your answer to his honest question. Would he judge you if you were honest with him? Would he know you were lying if you made something up? You placed your hands one over the other on his desk and looked him in the eyes. You had no reason to lie to him, but you weren’t willing to fish around for sympathy either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really know. I guess I’ll need to find a place to live.” You said honestly, but Kylo only stared back at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any plans for schooling, college or trade school, perhaps?” He asked, but again all was lost on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really.” Again, you were honest. Hanagan never put enough effort into your education to excite you about continuing once you were released from her clutches. Regarding college, you really had no idea what it took to get into one, or what you’d even want a degree in. Kylo pursed his lips, gripped his cup of liquor again and began swishing it around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see, I see,” He hummed, and you felt like you were disappointing him. “Well, these are all crucial aspects of your life you’ll need to think about while you’re in my care. I hope that I can help you with these decisions, if you’d let me. I want to make sure that you have the best possible outlook once you leave my estate.” You smiled and stared emptily at him as you grew gravely conflicted. On one hand you truly never wanted to leave. On the other, Kylo was rich and had so many connections that you thought he really could give you a good start to your adulthood, and you were almost more excited to see how far he could take you. “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself and what you like? Perhaps you and I can start brainstorming a plan for when you are released next month.” You followed him as he walked across the room, over to a wine cabinet where he opened it and pulled out a half full bottle and another glass. It looked to be the same stuff he had been drinking before, and as you started to go into your personal interests, you noticed him coming toward you with both items in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your speech slowed until he stood next to you, poured the liquor into the small glass and placed it down in front of you. “Have a sip.” He offered once you had completely stopped speaking, and really you had no idea what to do or say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, Kylo?” You started just as he had sat himself back down at the desk. “I, I’m too young to drink this stuff.” Just as he always had, he laughed at you and your honesty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just a year away. Plus I’m here to supervise you,” You went from staring at the liquid to staring at him. Was he serious? You had never drunk alcohol before, and it was true what he said that you weren’t old enough. 19 was the legal drinking age, and that was a full year away. “Go on, Saint. Just a sip. You’re an adult now, I’m sure you can handle it.” You set your sights back onto the liquor that had been set in front you. You were so lost on yourself, but he did have a point. No matter what anyone said, you were an adult and could make your own decisions. You trusted Kylo to keep you safe. Maybe just one sip wouldn’t hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind is it?” You asked, taking the glass into your hands and lifting it to your nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cognac. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cognac.” He said. The liquor smelled smoky and sweet, unlike any drink you had ever tried before. Cognac was a name you had never heard of, but you were willing to try it anyway. Gingerly, you lifted the glass to your lips and allowed some of the liquid to wash past your teeth and over your tongue. The most striking thing about it was how smooth it was. Sure it burned a little, but it wasn’t as if it hurt you. It tasted much sweeter than you were expecting, and you found yourself going for another taste. “Take it slow, kid.” He warned, and you took his advice, placing the cup back onto his desk. “Now, about those plans?” Oh, right. The planning you and him sat down to do. Trying alcohol for the first time and actually enjoying it had distracted you from the real reason why you were here. Plans. You needed to be making plans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Many suggestions were made by Kylo to you about your immediate future. He suggested many of the art schools in New York state and the surrounding territories. He offered to hook you up with a woman that could get you a job in any of his offices around the globe. He said he would take you out and search for apartments you could rent, search for reliable roommates and so on. With Kylo, you felt safe and well taken care of, except for when you realized you were doing more staring and less hearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had refilled your glass so many times as the two of you talked that you lost track, and it would seem you had gotten yourself into a pretty terrible situation. While you could focus sharply on Kylo speaking to you, you didn’t really hear what he was saying. Instead, you focused on him and his hand movements, the way his eyes would sparkle and the way his lips would move. You didn’t think you’d get this drunk this quickly, but you knew you were in too deep when very clearly in your own head you heard the following phrase:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is so fucking hot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh crap. Had you said that out loud? You looked down at your glass that was nearing empty, looked back to him as you felt yourself becoming woozy and unstable. Kylo still talked to you, refused to tear his eyes from yours the entire time. It didn’t seem like you had thought that out loud, and you tried to calm yourself down. But you grew nervous as the thoughts got louder and clearer, as you swept your eyes over his partially unbuttoned shirt and thought about everything he had done to you. How he touched you, hugged you close to him, spoken to you with much more respect and dignity, and given you the locket that claimed you were important. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest as your most honest and brutal thoughts flooded your mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kylo is so sexy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want some more?” He asked, suddenly sobering you a little and grabbing your attention. You watched as he tilted the bottle to your glass again, and although your reaction time was so much slower than normal you managed to stop him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-No thanks.” You slurred, and you looked up to find Kylo looking at you deep into your eyes. You noticed his eyes were so much more beautiful than you originally thought, could appreciate features you normally missed such as his beauty marks and his pouty lips. You found yourself smiling at him, and as you hiccuped you accidentally let out a giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I ask what is so funny?” He asked, something that you understood loud and clear. You knew the question was better left unanswered, but you found out the hard way that sober you and drunk you were two totally different people with two totally different agendas. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just good looking.” You laughed, and could immediately feel your cheeks blushing. Why had you said that out loud?! That wasn’t meant to come out, especially not in front of him! You had to fix this. You couldn’t make a fool of yourself any further. “But I don’t need anymore...uh, of...um…” You trailed off, looking back and forth for the bottle but you couldn’t find it. You were failing. You had to end this. “I think I’ll just head--” You exclaimed, standing to your feet way too quickly. Immediately Kylo’s office began moving, spinning, and gyrating all at the same time. You were swaying, tipping over to your left, but before you could catch yourself on his desk you found yourself tangled up in his arms, leaning into his strong chest and staring up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you’ve had too much to drink.” He said, and all you could do was laugh at him. “Come, let me get you to your room.” That offer sounded great, so you laughed and stared at him some more. “It’s good to know that you turn into a happy drunk after just four small glasses of alcohol. Come, Saint, let’s get you to bed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if you couldn’t have embarrassed yourself any further, you had one more thing to say to Kylo. Something you had been needing to get off of your chest, and couldn’t find the courage to do it until you were completely shitfaced:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it when you touch me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The revelation made Kylo stop both him and you in your tracks, and the slur came out much louder and clearer than you expected. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to happen, but the response you got from Kylo was surprising, to say the very least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” He asked, sounding shocked beyond belief. “I’ve never touched you, Saint. You’re imagining things.” Again, you could only laugh at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nooooo, Ky-lo. You touched me while we were--skating. And, and when you saved me from that, fucking car.” Blurred memories of you running after your hat and nearly getting run over by the car came rushing back to you, and you started giggling like mad. “When you touch me </span>
  <em>
    <span>normally. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Like right now. You’re hugging me. I love it!” With that, you ended your drunken speech staring at Kylo’s chest, squeezing him as hard as you could to convey your feelings. Maybe he loved it just as much when you touched him. You’d never know unless you tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took you a minute, but you noticed Kylo’s hands were beginning to reposition at your ribcage before roaming down your sides. The action made you completely quiet, made you stare into his eyes lovingly as he finally obliged you. You focused as much of your attention as you could on the warmth of his hands on your body. Your thoughts finally began running raw, removing the filters you had been placing on it since your first encounter with Ren. You wished you were naked. You wished you could feel his hands on your bare skin. You wanted him. All to yourself for one night. You wanted to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like it when I touch you like this?” He asked, and the smoothness of his voice sent you into a frenzy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it when you touch me anywhere.” You slurred, once again letting out an awkward laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anywhere, you say?” He asked, running his hands back up your sides. “Can I kiss you, anywhere I want?” And your entire body began rejoicing. That was another thought you were unwilling to even think into existence. You had always wanted him to kiss you, and the fact that he had just told you he wanted to kiss you </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere </span>
  </em>
  <span>he wanted sent arousal thundering straight through your body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me,” You breathed, trying to straighten yourself in his arms. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Everywhere.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>You pleaded with him, but your endeavors were met with another laugh of his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You happy drunk, you.” He said, moving you out of his arms and facing you toward the door. “When you are stone cold sober, when you can properly consent to my deeds, I promise I’ll take you into my room and kiss those beautiful lips. Touch every inch of your alluring skin. I’ll make you feel things you’ve never felt before. I promise you, Saint.” He said, and you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning. Nothing had ever made you this horny before, and these were promises. One day, you’d make it into Kylo Ren’s bed and he’d kiss you. He’d touch you. He’d make you </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> things you had never felt before. </span>
  <span>It was something you couldn’t even drunkenly laugh at. Instead you just sat there and beamed at him from in his arms. You loved him. You really loved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time passed as you enjoyed your time in his arms, taking slow steps until your background changed into the dark foyer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Evening, Mr. Ren.” You heard from your left. You craned your neck and saw one of the nightshift maids standing next to you in full uniform. You began to panic, wondering if she had heard and seen everything that had gone on in Kylo’s office. You didn’t want to get in trouble, or even worse: get him in trouble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priscilla, be a dear and escort Saint back to her room,” Kylo said, pushing you away from him. You stumbled into the arms of the maid, who struggled to hold you up as the much taller Kylo did. “She’s had a little too much to drink, I’m afraid. See to it that she gets into bed safely.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right away, Mr. Ren.” She retorted, and began leading you away from Kylo. You protested, audible whining mixed with nos and pleases making their way past your lips. You wanted Kylo to take you to his room tonight, and evidently you weren’t getting that. Even though it was hard for you to concentrate, you did your best to get over the heartbreak you were experiencing and walk with Priscilla. It wasn’t her fault Kylo was sending you away, so you didn’t see a reason to fight her. Instead, you focused on Kylo and his promise to you. Soon, you’d be able to see and feel all of him. You just had to be patient, and in your right, sober mind.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: Brief description of Saint's sexual past, involving masturbation. This obviously takes place before she's 18, but it's not written in much detail.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything was a blur as you slowly came to the next morning. Your eyes had been open, yet it took you quite some time to realize you were awake. The canopy bled in with the wall, and for a while all you were staring at was a mesh of pink and white before you managed to blink a few times and see things for what they really were. You were so tired. Your head was killing you. Your stomach was killing you, and you didn’t have to move at all to know that you were incredibly nauseated. You groaned, growing painfully aware of the soreness seeping slowly throughout your body. It felt as if you were hit by a truck, and for a moment you completely forgot why you were feeling so shitty.</p><p>You never meant for your first time drinking to end this badly. Everything hurt. Everything from your eyelids to your toenails, and when you flipped yourself from your side to your back your stomach churned uncomfortably around inside of you. You groaned, threw your arm over your eyes as you simply gave up all efforts to move yourself. You were feeling too shitty and didn’t even want to try.</p><p>So you sat there, holding your eyes shut and trying to focus on anything that was not your various ailments. The bed was comfortable below you. The air around you was not too hot or too cold, and even though you couldn’t remember changing into your pajamas last night, they still fit you perfectly and were just as cozy as they always had been. These were the only positives you could grasp onto, and just as you started to drift back to sleep the quiet sound of your door opening caused you to squint open just one of your eyes. </p><p>The blurry image of Allison, the maid that brought you your tea every morning, stared back at you, and you were excited to see her. The only thing that managed to make its way from your throat was an embarrassing gurgle, one accompanied by a futile effort in rolling toward her to get her attention.</p><p>“Saint, dear?” She called out to you. “Are you awake?”</p><p>“Y-Yes.” You forced out. Your throat was incredibly dry and scratchy, and it felt like your teeth were covered in sludge. </p><p>“Wonderful!” She exclaimed before slowly pacing into your room. “Mr. Ren requested that you get as much rest as you needed. Do you think you’re ready for your tea?” She asked. The sound of her footsteps against your carpet were normally so quiet, but this morning you thought you could hear every fiber being crushed under her shoes.</p><p>“My head hurts.” You whined, completely ignoring her question. You hadn’t meant to be so rude, but it was the thing hurting you the most and you would have done anything for it to go away.</p><p>“Can I get you some medication for your hangover?” She asked. A <em> hangover. </em>That’s what you were experiencing. Your very first hangover. </p><p>“Yes, please.” You slurred, curling under your sheets again and trying to get comfortable. </p><p>“Alright, one moment dear.” She said, and for the first time since you had woken up you had a little bit of hope. This wouldn’t last forever. It would be over soon and you could go about your little vacation just as you planned.</p><p> </p><p>Allison came back some time later with your tea and a small medicine cup with two aspirin rolling around inside of it. You took them with a small cup of water she had brought with her along with your tea and cookies. She recommended you shower, and told you that the cooks offered to bring your breakfast to your room if you wished. Both of her suggestions sounded wonderful, and as soon as you had finished your tea you went straight to the bathroom where you cranked the water up as hot and as high as it would go and hopped in.</p><p>It was so strange, being drunk. You could only vaguely remember what happened to you last night. Step by step you went through the timeline you could remember, trying to figure out exactly where things went wrong. Kylo looked upset, so you decided to bring him some ice cream. Then he wanted to sit down and talk to you about your options for once you left the estate. You grinned to yourself, remembering how generous he was to want to help you. Then he offered you a glass of, of what exactly? That’s when the details became fuzzy. You scrubbed your body with the lavender scented soap, allowing the piercing hot water to dance up and down your skin as you welcomed what little you could remember that flood back to you. You could remember at one point him pouring you a glass and you realizing you were too drunk to drink more, and then…</p><p>Then <em> it </em>happened. </p><p>You gasped as you just barely held onto the memory of him touching you. Feeling your sides and saying he wanted to kiss you. Kylo Ren, the man you had openly told you were attracted to him, told you he wanted to <em> kiss </em>you. You felt yourself go weak in your knees as all of it came flooding back to you at once. You told him you wanted him to kiss you everywhere, and he promised you that he would make that happen. </p><p>You stopped cleaning yourself for a second, could no longer question if that had really happened or not. Out of everything that had happened the previous night, you could clearly remember Kylo saying this to you. His attraction to you was mutual, and although you thought you were excited about it last night, you realized now that you were horrified. </p><p>What did he think last night when you told him you liked it when he touched you? What would he think about you this morning? You felt yourself shaking as you wondered exactly when he’d want to make good on this promise. Would you even want him to do something like this to you? Drunk you obviously wanted it and wanted it bad, but, really, how realistic would it be? The two of you weren’t cut from the same cloth, were from two separate classes. He must have been lying to you, trying to excite you. You really couldn’t see Kylo wanting anything like that from you.</p><p>Well, you could. </p><p>You had been pushing these thoughts away for as long as you could, but standing there in the shower you decided to finally let them flow freely through your mind. Him on top of you, running his perfect, warm hands up and down your torso while your fingers lay flat against his bare chest. You could imagine him kissing you, staring at you with need as he worked his hands from your ribs to your pelvis. You could never allow your mind to roam any further, because you didn’t need anything else. Just the thought of him touching you, feeling you, and now kissing you was enough to fuel your fire. You found your hand beginning to drift downward, over your navel toward your sex. You couldn’t ever imagine that Kylo would do these things to you in real life, but it didn’t stop you from fantasizing about him.</p><p>You wanted him. You wanted him so bad. Badly enough to let your hand  fall between your legs as you stared straight ahead at the shower wall. At that point, you could almost clearly feel him in the shower with you, standing behind you with his hands on your sides. Would he kiss your neck? Your back? Your lips? What about <em> lower. </em> Your breasts? Your navel? You shuddered. The two of you would definitely be able to fit in this shower. What would his body feel like against yours? The two of you wet and slippery, freshly cleaned. You wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to let him kiss you <em> wherever he wanted. </em>You let out a quiet moan, feeling your arousal beginning to build there between your legs. You couldn’t do this. Not in someone else's shower.</p><p>You weren’t new to the world of self pleasure. Although you lived with so many other girls you were sometimes able to escape into the bathroom at night or very early in the morning. You were young when you discovered how good you could make yourself feel, getting off to some generic, nameless faceless man stripping for you and kissing you. It didn’t happen often, and you noticed there was a stark difference between how you felt then and now. This urge was much stronger, too strong to ignore. You guessed it had something to do with the fact that you were only just now experiencing some sort of sexual stimulus and had an object to swoon over, that object being Kylo touching you. You ran your fingers over your clit a few times, taking deep breaths as you made the difficult decision to stop. How would Kylo feel if he knew you were bringing yourself to orgasm over him, especially in his shower? This was wrong. You couldn’t do this to him.</p><p> </p><p>As quickly as you could you cleaned yourself, stepped out and dried off before wrapping your hair in a towel as you had seen a few of the other maids do when they were getting ready for bed. You exited the bathroom and dressed in a moderate outfit as you always had, and when you turned around you were pleased to see a tray of food covered in a silver platter cover sitting on your table. These people took such good care of you and you appreciated them so much for it. As you walked over to the table to dig into whatever delicious food would be under this cover, you decided you really weren’t in a rush to leave and you wanted to take today as slowly as you could. It was already the 5th and time was flying. You wanted to enjoy yourself and your time here for as long as you could!</p><p>When you lifted the cover you were happy to see lots of familiar foods staring back at you: French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and a cup of milk to the side. However, there was something else that caught your attention. Off to the side of the milk was a note taped to the tray. It was tan, with the title <em> Ren-Warbucks Enterprises </em>stamped at the bottom in red ink. You recognized this stationary. You had seen it on a notepad on Kylo’s desk. This note came from Kylo, and you grew giddy as you picked it up, ready to see what he had to say to you:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Good morning, Dear Saint. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hope you’re feeling well. It was fun to see how happy you get when you’re drunk, but I’m sure it was not fun waking up. I would like to invite you to the greenhouse this afternoon to continue our discussion from last night. If this makes you uncomfortable then please don’t worry about it and disregard this note. I’ll be in my office awaiting your answer when you’re ready. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Signed, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Kylo. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>As your cheeks blushed pink you couldn’t help but to laugh at Kylo’s note. It seemed harmless, although you couldn’t help but to wonder which part of the conversation he wanted to continue. If it was about your plans for after you left his home that would make sense, but if it were about what the two of you talked about while you were drunk, you weren’t sure you were ready for that. But, you also didn’t want to pass up any alone time you might get with Kylo, so you sat down and ate your breakfast as quickly as you could, disregarding your original plan to take things slow. When it came to him, you didn’t want to waste any time. Kylo was your closest friend and you knew he was a busy man. Any time you could spend with him was time well spent, even if it meant you had to rush through a meal.</p><p>Once you were finished you threw on your shoes and collected up all your dishes for the kitchen. On your way through the halls you bumped into one of the maids who insisted she take the dishes from you. You tried to tell her that it was fine, she looked busy and you didn’t want to inconvenience her but she wouldn’t budge. You were just trying to be helpful, but in the end it didn’t matter. Now you were free to go straight to Kylo’s office!</p><p>The door was so familiar to you now. Every time you walked up to it you felt like tracing the carvings, but Kylo never took that long to answer. Just seconds after knocking he was inviting you in, and with your hand at your collar bones holding your locket nervously, you let yourself in. Kylo picked his head up and watched as you made your way to his desk, your bottom lip tucked tightly between your teeth trying to repress a smile.</p><p>“Morning, Saint.” He said, looking at you expectantly. You could tell he was on the edge of his seat waiting for your answer. He obviously really wanted this, so instead of beating around the bush and stringing him along, you decided to come right out and give him your answer.</p><p>“I’d like to take you up on your offer to take me through the greenhouse.” You said as confidently as you could. You watched as the uncertainty melted right off of Kylo’s face and into a pleased smile. You couldn’t have been more grateful that Kylo wanted to spend more time with you, just as you wanted to with him.</p><p> </p><p>“So have you gotten a whole lot of work done since I’ve been here?” You asked him as the two of you walked through the back hall of the mansion. Kylo snorted at you, but it was a genuine question. The first two days you were here he was all about working, yet these last two days he was wanting to hang out with you nonstop. It was a very pleasant change, you just wanted to know if it were intentional or not.</p><p>“Not a whole lot, but that’s alright,” He said with a sigh. “I’ve been enjoying my time with you. My business will always be there, but you’ll only be here until the end of the month. And besides, it’s much more enjoyable to go ice skating or walk through the gardens than it is to hear about how well my competitors are doing.” </p><p>“But I’m sure it’s important to you,” You offered, suddenly feeling self conscious about how of his time you were taking up. After all, he had been receiving some ominous bad press over something and that’s the reason why you were here in the first place. You’d hate for his business to suffer because of you too. “I have other ways to entertain myself, it’s okay if you’d--”</p><p>“Nonsense.” He cut you off. “I <em> am </em>enjoying spending time with you, Saint. I just wanted to have a conversation with you, and I thought it would be better to have in a secluded spot.” He said once the two of you finally reached the back door. This was the one place on the estate you hadn’t been, and even though his phrasing was worrisome to you, once he opened the door you were blown away.</p><p>This greenhouse was huge. It was huge, and it was <em> green. </em>Plants upon plans greeted you. Tall plants, short plants. Potted plants on shelves. Plants that grew fruit, plants that grew vegetables, and plants that grew the beautiful flowers that decorated parts of the mansion. It was relatively warm and smelled very sweet and earthy. It was quiet and well lit, like being outside without being in the cold. You loved it. All nervousness you had felt about this conversation you were to be having with Ren melted away as you took a few more steps into the greenhouse. This was amazing, and momentarily you forgot why you were here.</p><p>“So, about last night,” Kylo said, causing you to come down from your high. You looked over at him and he was staring down at the concrete path looking quite concerned. “I, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. My intentions weren’t to get you drunk and, you know, do things to you.” At his words, your mood immediately tanked. He didn’t bring you here to talk about your future. He brought you here to do damage control because he thought you were angry at him, like he had taken advantage of you. </p><p>“Oh, no Kylo,” You said, starting to panic. “I didn’t feel like you did anything wrong to me. I, I, uh…” You quickly stopped yourself realizing that you were about to give away a little too much information. “I was fine with it. It’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” When all of this happened you were 18. Sure it was the day you turned 18, but you didn’t know how strict those guidelines were. When it came down to it, you liked the way he felt you, but you were too shy to tell him that you wanted him to do it again. He was quiet for a moment, then pointed over to a nearby metal bench.</p><p>“Here, let’s sit down.” He said, placing a hand on your back and steering you the bench. Some purple flowers along vines hung overhead, and the bench was surrounded by rose bushes. It was beautiful and romantic, and even though you were spooked you were pleased to be spending time here with Kylo. “I appreciate you thinking about me, Saint, and I’m glad I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. I do think it was a little unprofessional of me, though, so I’d like to apologize.” You felt so horrible for him. His posture was horrible, what with the way he leaned his forearms onto his knees and stared into the ground. He clearly felt so awful about what went on last night, and by proxy you felt just as bad. “So, I’d just like to let you know that I’ll never be upset or offended if you tell me anything I, or my staff has done to you makes you feel uncomfortable, or weird, or whatever. Whatever it is, I’ll make sure the behavior is stopped immediately.” You stared at him, shoved your hands under your thighs and smiled. Again, he was so nice. So conscious of you and your feelings, making sure you were okay. He was so admirable. You wanted him so badly. </p><p>“So, to change the subject a little, I just wanted to reiterate to you that my promises last night are still valid.” He said, and immediately your heart leaped in your chest. You looked away from him, straight ahead at the plants across the row from you as your body was wracked with anxiety. There was your answer. He <em> still </em>wanted to have you one night. “I just want to make sure you’re still alright with accepting my offers. I only want what’s best for you.” Your mouth fell open just a little as you tried to just breathe. You didn’t know why you were all of the sudden so nervous when you were literally almost willing to get yourself off in the shower over him. You wanted him to take you to bed, to touch you, to kiss you, but when it was most important to make your needs known, you said the worst possible thing ever:</p><p>“I, I don’t know. I’ve never actually kissed anyone before.” You tried to laugh off the awkwardness, but it didn’t work. Because when you looked back up at him, he was staring at you with a horrified look on his face.</p><p>“Saint, you’re mistaken,” He said, and you could feel your eyes widening as he continued to talk. “I was talking about getting you a job in one of my offices. Not kissing you.” </p><p>You coughed, practically choked on your own saliva as you nailed the last nail into your own coffin. How could you have been so stupid! He wasn’t talking about the arousing promises he made to you last night. He was talking about something completely different, and you just made the entire conversation that much more awkward.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry!” You said once you had finally found your voice. Much to your disappointment Kylo only laughed at you, running his hands through his hair and looking at you with an expression full of understanding. </p><p>“You are a dear, Saint. A refreshing breath of fresh air. Just what I’ve needed.” He said, turning toward you and placing his arm on the back of the bench. You were happy he was able to relax. You, on the other hand, were anything but. “However, <em> those </em>promises are still on the table as well. I would be honored to be your first kiss, if you would let me.” You stared at him in awe, pondering what he had just said to you. That was the confirmation you needed to know that he was taking this just as seriously as you were, and he had just offered to kiss you.</p><p>“Right here?” You babbled, feeling yourself panicking once again.</p><p>“Wherever you’d like. You remember what I said.” You clenched your teeth as you thought about it. You could easily say no and Kylo would likely never bring it up ever again. But, deep down inside, that’s not what you wanted. You wanted to kiss him. To touch him. You wanted him to hold you, to hug you, and to make even <em> more </em> promises to you. You scooted just a bit closer to him, drumming up the courage to verbalize your need. This was something you wanted, you just had to say <em> yes.  </em></p><p>“I think I’d really, <em> really </em>like that.” You said, turning toward him and looking him in the eye. Your stomach churned as you reasoned with yourself that this wasn’t as scary as you were making it out to be. There was no reason to be this nervous. Kylo wanted this. You wanted this. There was nothing wrong with two consenting adults sharing a kiss here in the greenhouse. </p><p>“You can say no, Saint. I won’t be angry with you.” He assured you, but you had already made up your mind. You scooted another inch closer to him, and within a second his arm moved from the back of the bench to around your shoulder, and soon he was hugging you close to him. </p><p>“No, no,” You said, looking up at him. Your face was dangerously close to his. You could see every little detail of his face and his lips, and you were mesmerized. “This is what I want.” You breathed. It was then he started getting closer to you, leaning into you, getting ready to kiss you. You had no idea what you were supposed to do. Were you supposed to open or close your mouth? Your eyes? Were you supposed to breathe? Your overthinking was quickly silenced by one last word from Kylo:</p><p>“Lucky for you, I want you.” He whispered, and before you could even blink your world was forever changed.</p><p>It was soft. Quick. Quiet. His lips fell against yours for just one moment, and he just stopped. Your eyes were shut tight, and you were completely lost. Were you supposed to be doing something? Was he waiting for you?</p><p>In one quick movement his arm tightened around you, and you were practically sitting in his lap. The two of you were chest to chest, his other hand came to rest on your shoulder as the kiss deepened. His lips danced upon yours while his hand traveled down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. You trembled as his tongue ran across your lips, and you realized what you were supposed to do. You opened your mouth for him just as he got to your elbow, and you shuddered in response. This was far more erotic than you thought it would be, and you found yourself being more turned on than ever. </p><p>He moaned into your mouth as your tongues touched one another, and you couldn’t hold one back from him once he reached your hand. Your fingers intertwined as your front teeth clashed against his, but even that couldn’t slow you down. You felt like you were on fire as you kissed him, like you were on top of the fucking world. You were a nobody, kissing the richest, most powerful, most handsome man of all of New York City. You felt like you belonged right here in his arms, however, unfortunately for you and him it all came to an end far too quickly.</p><p>Above the wet noises that came from your mouth, the door to the greenhouse and gardens could easily be heard nearly slamming into the wall behind it. Footsteps almost immediately followed, and you could tell this person was walking as quickly as they could toward you. Kylo pulled away from you, breaking the seal your lips had created and bringing his arm from around your head. </p><p>“Mr. Ren?” Shouted one of the male maids from behind you. Kylo wiped his mouth free of your saliva as you scooted away from him, hoping you weren’t looking too flustered for when this person came walking around the corner. Kylo was clearly spooked by this person and didn’t want him knowing that the two of you had been making out here on this bench, and you had no choice but to go along with it. You scooted as far away from him as possible, leaned over your knees and watching as the man came sprinting from around one of the strawberry bushes. “You’ve got a call, someone important at the White House wishes to speak with you right away.” He said out of breath. Kylo stood, and you looked up at Kylo who stared blankly at the man. The White House? Someone who works at one of the most important buildings in the entire country wanted to speak with him? </p><p>“Right, thank you Joel,” Kylo said, and with a huff he turned to look at you. “I’ll be up in just one second.” The man nodded his head, then without any hesitation turned around and left you alone. Once the door to the greenhouse had closed Kylo took a breath, turned around and looked at you for one moment. The saddening look of stress he had always carried with him had returned, and with that came a frantic glance at his watch. </p><p>“I’ve gotta go, Saint.” He said.</p><p>“That’s understandable.” You offered, trying not to be too disappointed that your perfect first kiss had ended so abruptly. Someone from the fucking White House was on the phone for him. You thought for sure that was far more important than kissing you was. Before leaving, however, he took a few steps closer to you and took your face in his hands. His long thumbs sat on your cheeks, and before you could even process what was happening he had brought his lips down to yours one final time, leaving a loud, wet kiss upon them. It left you glowing with a proud grin. Of course talking to the president of the United States was important, but making you feel important with one last kiss was higher on Kylo’s priority list.</p><p>“I will see you tonight, princess.” He said, turning and walking away without looking back. With the biggest grin on your face you watched him walk cooly away. Every inch of your body was buzzing with excitement. He called you a princess, giving you a pet name you never had before. What was even better was he promised he’d see you tonight. To do what exactly, you didn’t know. But if it involved more kisses, more hand holding, more hugging, or something even better, you were beyond pumped for whatever he had planned for you; his <em> princess.</em></p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unfinished artwork by @notsofunnytho on Instagram</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's a bonus chapter this week because I spiked a fever and had to stay home from work for a few days. Also, I just wrote the first smutty chapter and I'm sweating. I hope you guys are prepared lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Trembling fingers swept over your lips as you sat numbly on the bench, looking to where Kylo had disappeared and hoping he’d come back to kiss you again. His lips, his tongue, his hands, everything about him was just to die for. You knew kissing someone for the first time would likely be a huge event in your book, but you never expected it to be so extraordinary. Maybe it was because your first kiss was with someone you considered to be so far out of your league. Maybe it’s because it was with the first person you had ever found attractive. Maybe it was because he seemed to remember what you told him during your drunken confessions, about how much you loved it when he touched you, and he made you moan so freely and openly. Either way, he left you with an undeniable need for more. More of him. More of his hands. More of his kisses and hugs. More. You needed more of Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You spent most of the rest of the afternoon staying to yourself, wandering in and out of rooms looking for something to do. You tried not to think too much about Kylo, but even when you’d get sidetracked by something you’d always find your mind sinking back to him eventually. You just couldn’t help yourself. Kylo was like your prince charming, your knight in shining armor that rescued you for the most unfortunate circumstances. You smiled to yourself, absent mindedly running your finger along the walls of the upstairs hallway and replaying the most pivotal moment of your life over and over in your mind. The only thing that could break your concentration was the sound of a familiar voice calling your name from behind you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stopped and turned, happy to see Grace for the first time all day long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keeping yourself busy, I see?” She asked as she caught up with you. You shrugged, still high off of the kiss that had been bestowed upon your lips earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try. Kylo just showed me the greenhouse for the first time. It was, breathtaking.” You answered, giggling just a little. "And a really nice change of scenery." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, my aren’t you chipper,” She answered back, beaming at you just as she always had; making you feel homely and welcome. “I’m happy that Mr. Ren is enjoying his time with you. I was worried he’d never open up.” Oh yes, Grace. Mr. Ren was definitely enjoying his time with you. “I’m also happy I ran into you, because I am in need of your opinion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you need my opinion?” You asked as Grace opened a portfolio she had under her arm and began thumbing through the paperwork. You had never been asked for your opinion before, and you could recall over and over again Miss Hanagan saying that little girls were meant to be seen and not heard. You had never been quick to give your own thoughts on anything, so the fact that you were being asked for your opinion left you rather bewildered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Grace chuckled as she finally found what she was looking for, pulling three colorful pamphlets from the folder and handing them to you. “You are our guest, and Mr. Ren has so kindly informed me that there are three tickets available for us to use at any theater in the city, including a show on Broadway.” You took the booklets from her hands and read them over, allowing your breath to stop momentarily when you read some of the headlines. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oklahoma!, Make a Wish, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Trial by Jury. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All being shown in the city tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way…” You breathed. You remembered the suggestion Grace gave on your first night in the estate, but you never thought they would actually take you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Three </span>
  </em>
  <span>tickets to a Broadway show couldn’t have been cheap, and yet Kylo was making your dream come true. The bright yellows, pinks, and greens of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oklahoma!</span>
  </em>
  <span> drew your attention the most, and you would never pass up and opportunity to see a show on Broadway. That would be your choice. Besides, you were sure it would be nothing to see the other two shows when you wanted to, if you asked nicely of course. “We can really go see one tomorrow?” You asked, still in disbelief. Even though you were just now starting to settle into the estate, the little things like being treated to expensive plays still left you so star struck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you have to pick one out first.” Grace said playfully, and both of you fell into a small laughing fit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really want to go to Broadway!” You exclaimed, handing her the most colorful pamphlet. “This one. I’ve never heard of it before, but this is the one I want to see.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then Oklahoma it shall be, my dear,” Grace said, winking at you and taking the pamphlet from you. “I’ll let Mr. Ren know right away.” She said, beginning to walk off. Just as you were about to do the same, Grace abruptly stopped you, gripping your arm and subtly pulling you back to her. “Oh, and if you’re looking for something to do, the chefs in the kitchen are preparing dinner, and one of them told me he was eager to offer up cooking lessons.”  Cooking. Now that was something you had absolutely no idea how to do. You thanked Grace once again and began your trek to the kitchen. Cooking would be a good distraction from Kylo, especially since it would be a skill you’d need to learn eventually. Why not learn from people who obviously knew what they were doing in the kitchen? You felt like it was the wisest way to spend your time at the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tonight, the chefs were making shrimp fettuccine alfredo, and as soon as you walked in they welcomed you with open arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace told me you were giving out cooking lessons.” You said. Just like every other friendly staff member on the estate, they smiled fondly at you before ushering you in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any time you’d like, we give out cooking lessons,” The man said. He was a bigger man, showing off large tattoo-covered muscles with the sleeves of his white cooking uniform rolled up. With a balding head and a deep, intimidating voice, he looked like the kind of man that would have no qualms about turning one of the kitchen knives on someone, but as you found out, he was kind, patient, and caring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He taught you step by step how to properly clean your hands and work station before taking you over to the seafood station, where he pulled out two large, metal bowls of uncooked shrimp and setting them on the counter in front of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shrimp. My mama used to tell me shrimp were the roaches of the sea, disgusting little things, trying to put me off of the taste. Back in the day, shrimp cost a lot and we didn’t have money for it, but she always made it work since it was my favorite food.” He said while reaching for two shakers of salt and pepper. “Toss some salt and pepper into there. They’ve already been shelled and detailed for you, girlie. We’ve got lots of people to feed tonight so we’ll need to cook a lot of shrimp.” You eyed the man, watching him do the same just to make sure you didn’t mess anything up. After all, he did just say you were cooking to feed lots of people. If you messed this up, you’d be messing up for a lot of people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was something else from his speech that caught your attention, and that was the mention of his mother. As you sprinkled a little bit of salt into your bowl you took the time to admire his tattoos. Next to a large, fading grey anchor was a red heart with an arrow through it, and written inside of it was the word “mom.” Obviously he was close to his mother, close enough to sit and get a tattoo to celebrate her, and to you it sounded warranted. He told you his mother did everything she could to make sure he had his favorite food every week even though she had no money. You had nothing like that growing up; never had someone work hard to ensure you were eating your favorite foods once a week, no one you loved enough to get tattooed on your body forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went on to tell you his “secret recipe” for cooking shrimp. One that his mother only shared with him after he had grown up and went through cooking school. Minced garlic, butter, and just a dash of lemon. Through the entire process he talked about his mother, and how he had never cooked shrimp any different way. Although you tried to be happy and enjoy yourself, the entire thing made you feel so entirely left out. You didn’t have a mother, or anyone that loved you like a mother. You listened to this man, Grace, and Kylo speak so highly of the women that had birthed, raised, and loved them, and you had couldn’t understand it. You felt like you were missing such a huge part of your life, like someone had so brutally reached inside of you and tore the one thing you were supposed to have held near and dear away from you. You tried to hide the shaking of your hands as you sauteed the shrimp over the stove, but when you found yourself growing over emotional you had to step away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” You moaned, reaching up and rubbing the tears from your eyes. “I, I think I got something in my eye.” You started to head toward the door, but the man, Gabriel as you had learned, tried to stop you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s an eyewash station there in the corner there, kid.” He called after you, but you ignored him. You needed to be alone for a minute, and maybe once you had a good cry you could come back and help cook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You lost complete control once you got to the top of the stairs, giving into your sobs as you quickly tried to head back to your room. If there was one thing you learned, it was that all mothers weren’t heartless, cruel people who gave up their children. They weren’t all women who abused their daughters and had them taken by CPS and placed in an orphanage. There were mothers out there that cared, that took their kids out for ice cream and made them their favorite meals. Wonderful, thoughtful mothers existed, and you and the majority of your sisters were unlucky enough to not be born to any of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you had to ask, what was wrong with you? Why had your mother dropped you at the orphanage and never come back? Were you too much to handle, were you too loud? Did you eat too much, were you not cute enough?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did your own mother not want you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You rounded the corner, audibly crying as you heard a door close behind you. You really didn’t want to be socializing right now so you picked up speed, sprinting to your room and slamming the door behind you. You sat down on your bed and tried to compose yourself. Dinner would be served soon and you couldn’t go downstairs looking such a mess. You didn’t come here to pity yourself and cry. You needed to be having fun like every other day on the estate, to appreciate the time and effort these people were putting in for you. Crying wouldn’t bring your mother back or give you the answers you needed, but boy, did it make you feel loads better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You took another few minutes to yourself, pacing the floor and trying to talk yourself out of your tears. You really were interested in seeing how the food was being cooked, and you had already missed so much. After taking some deep breaths and reminding yourself of what you would have for the rest of the month. You had just grabbed a towel to dry your eyes with when there was a soft knock at the door. You held your breath, realizing it was probably Allison coming to remind you that it was dinner time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a second, coming.” You shouted, haphazardly tossing the towel back into the bathroom and shutting the door. You gave yourself another few seconds, and when you were feeling confident yet again you strode over to the door only to open it and have all of your confidence melt away. Standing before you was Kylo Ren, and he looked severely upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good evening, Saint.” He said, looking you up and down. He crossed his arms as you struggled to say anything, but in reality you were so relieved. You had been waiting to see him all day long, you just didn’t want him to see you after having a breakdown and you didn’t know how to explain yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, good evening.” You said, having to once again remind yourself to take a deep breath and calm down. You couldn’t find it within yourself to force a smile for him, and from the suspicious look upon his face you knew he took notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was leaving my room and thought I heard someone crying. Is everything okay?” He asked. You broke out in goosebumps as the uncertainty instantly began pumping through you. How were you even supposed to respond to a question like this? Was he planning on comforting you or something? Either way, you didn’t think Kylo deserved to hear your woes, so you decided to make something up in order to reassure him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I accidentally cut my finger in the kitchen,” You said with a hesitant grin. Kylo cut his eyes at you, leaning against the door frame and taking a look at your hands that were clasped at your waist. You quickly pulled your hands behind you grasping your finger and pressing your nail into it to provide at least a little bit of truth to what you said, but you were sure Kylo wasn’t buying it. “I just wanted to clean it up a little on my own. It’s no big deal.” Again, you chuckled but Kylo was having none of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?” He asked, and your breath caught in your throat. You grew anxious and excited at one time, because you realized this was his promise come true. He told you he’d come see you again, and here he was. Granted it was in response to hearing you cry, but he was still here. You shifted on your feet before stepping aside and nodding your head and, with a cautionary look over his shoulder, Kylo stalked into your room. You closed the door behind you, knowing full and well that things were liable to go much farther than just kissing this time. You were alone in a room with Kylo, and part of you wanted him to unleash everything he had against you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you were down in the kitchen?” Kylo asked you, placing his hands in his pockets and stepping into the center of your room. You hadn’t turned on the lights, and with the already setting sun your room was rather grey and dark. He looked quite mystical standing there in his white button up shirt and black pants, and you found yourself gravitating toward him ever so slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They were teaching me how to cook dinner,” You offered, twiddling your thumbs and smiling at him. You really did miss him and it was good to have some personal time with him again, even if he wasn’t immediately smothering you with the contact you so desperately wanted. “Grace told me they wanted to teach me, and I don’t really know how to cook so I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your speech was cut off by Kylo suddenly reaching for your hand and bringing it up to his lips. With your fingers curled around his he placed a small kiss on your knuckles, and in response you felt all of the blood running out of your face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You say you hurt your finger, but I don’t see any injuries on either of your hands,” He said, speaking against your sensitive skin. Your heart came to a halt as he once again kissed your fingers, filling the room with a loud smacking noise. You had been caught in your lie, but it would seem he didn’t want to punish you for it. “Are you sure that’s what happened?” He asked, forcing you to relive the painful thoughts you experienced while rushing up here. He rubbed your knuckles with his thumb as he stared deep into your eyes, expecting an answer. Even though you didn’t want to bore him with your problems, you trusted him more than anyone with your grief. You’d keep it brief, just to see if he was interested in comforting you. He made you feel so safe and secure. You really had no reason to believe that he’d judge you for your thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just, I wish I had a mom,” You said, feeling your eyes well with tears. You didn’t want to be getting so emotional all over again, especially not in front of him, but Kylo was the one person you felt you could be vulnerable around and you thought that’s why your body allowed you to just let go. “The chef was telling me about his mom downstairs, and, and I don’t know. I just wish I at least knew who my mom was.” Tears slipped down your cheeks and you stood there trembling in front of him, staring at his shoes and hoping he wasn’t judging you. After all, he had a mother and he probably didn’t understand why you were so upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, princess,” He moaned, dropping your hand and taking another bold step toward you. “Come here, let me hold you.” He took you by the shoulders and pulled you into him, and you wrapped your arms around him with no hesitation. With your face tucked into his chest you took to sobbing, not paying any mind to the fact that you could be ruining his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Saint. I’m sorry, princess.” He whispered into your hair. Just the fact that he was calling you princess was comforting enough, but understandably you couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that you were so hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone else has a mom that loves them, but not me. I have no family, I have no one!” You sobbed, and he only held you tighter. There was another wordless moment before Kylo sighed and began speaking to you once again. You had calmed down enough to listen to him, and you were surprised to hear his voice cracking as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I was an orphan for a while too,” He started, and the revelation hit you like a harsh slap to the face. You craned your neck to look up at him and found him looking up past your head, his eyes were turning red and glassy as he grew over emotional as well. “My mother died when I was seven. Came down with a form of bone cancer that was untreatable and died within six months. My father wasn’t in the picture at all and had to spend five years in an orphanage before they found my father and forced him to care for me.” He explained, and you were completely taken aback. The term “ don't judge a book by its cover” was prominent as ever here. You never would have expected that Kylo Ren was as unfortunate as you were at any point in his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wasn’t as fun as my mother. My father was so hard on me, so eager for me to take over the business he had worked so hard to build. I cried for my mother every day, for her carefree attitude, for the games and crafts she’d do with me. My father would make me sit at the table for hours and do homework, math problems so that I’d be good with numbers. He’d make me sit in on his business meetings and take notes, and if they weren’t good enough for him he’d tear them to shreds and make me rewrite them from memory until he was satisfied.” Your heart broke for him. For as much shit as you were put through being an orphan for your entire life, it absolutely killed you to hear that Kylo went through nearly the same thing. “There just isn’t anything like a mother’s love, Saint. I’m so sorry.” You stared at him before he tucked his head back into your hair and sniffed, trying to hold back his sorrow as well. You had never really given anything about death a thought when it came to your parents. Perhaps you had been mistaken this entire time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, maybe my mom died too,” You said, leaning your head back into Kylo’s chest and looking out of your window. “Maybe they found out I hadn’t been adopted yet and were on their way to take me back, and were hit by a car or something.” A flash of adrenaline coursed through your body as you tried to reason with yourself that you weren’t unwanted by your parents, but that the unfortunate circumstance that was death was the reason why they never came back to you. “Maybe they bought a house for all of us to live in, and right before they were going to bring me home there was a fire and they burned to death.” You found your way out of Kylo’s arms and danced up to the window, shaking as you imagined a beautiful, spacious home caught ablaze with two innocent people trapped inside of it, burning to death. Different scenarios raced through your mind as you began to hyperventilate. What was once the easiest solution to your problems quickly became your worst nightmare. If they were dead, you’d have no way of knowing who they were or what they even looked like. You cringed, felt your tears coming so fast yet again. This was not how you were imagining your evening was going to go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you felt so alone, like you were freefalling into an abyss of darkness and tragedy, just as you hoped Kylo was there to catch you. He placed his hands on your arms and spun you around, staring at you with a broken look that you knew mirrored your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not good to dwell on such depressing thoughts,” He warned, pulling you into his arms again. He began to run his hands up and down your body. Your back, your sides, and your ass, succeeding in drawing you that much more close to him. You knew what you needed at this moment, and that was his lips. You inched that much closer to him, slowly dragging your hands over his shoulders and resting them on the back of his neck, embracing him and wordlessly telling him you were ready for him. “I hate seeing my princess so distraught.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me, and make me happy.” You offered, finally verbalizing your need for him. The corner of his lips quirked up in a small smile before he finally obliged you, enveloping your mouth with his. This time, you were that much more experienced and knew how to accept the gift he was giving you. With the sun setting behind you, you became one with Kylo Ren. Emotionally, mentally, and physically, you were finally able to admit that you and him were closer than you ever had been.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kisses by the window quickly took a much deeper turn. His hands ran up and down your back as you held tight to him, only responding to him the way your body felt was right. Your fingers grasped ahold of the back of his shirt just as his came to rest on your hips. You loved this. You loved the way he made you feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started moving you back, deeper into your room. He pulled you by your hips, only breaking the kiss in order to see where he was going, and even then his eyes were off of yours for just a second. With his face so close to yours you could see the sadness that reflected in his eyes, off of the sunset that peered through the window in front of him. You could see that he cared so deeply about you as you followed him, not paying attention to where he was taking you until he was sitting down on your bed and pulling you into his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You really didn’t know how to feel, what to do or say in response to this switch of positions. It’s not that straddling his lap made you uncomfortable, it’s that you were so inexperienced that you just didn't know how to handle the situation. What you did know was that you wanted to do this. You wanted to be as close to him as you possibly could be, and if that meant sitting on his lap, then you’d find the courage to sit on his lap. Slowly and awkwardly you climbed upon his legs, holding yourself steady on his shoulders, and once you found a comfortable position you sat there and stared at him, waiting for him to tell you if what you were doing was right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” He asked, pushing your hair from your face and once again sliding his hands down your body. You nodded your head in response just as his fingers interlocked at your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him, taking a moment away from what was turning you on so badly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You whispered into his neck, really feeling thankful for everything he had done to console you. The kisses, the hugs, the feeling, and the holding you like you meant so much to him put you at ease, and in that moment you just wanted him. You sighed, lifted yourself from his neck and placed your forehead against his. “It’s almost dinner time.” You said, trying to break the silence as you found his voice to be just as soothing as his touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Was all he could offer as he switched one of his hands from his wrist behind you to your knee. “Is this okay?” He asked as his hand began to slide up your unclothed leg, succeeding in making you squirm there beneath him. You were so turned on, so close to him and enjoying every second of his hands on you. No one had ever turned you on so much, no one had ever made you feel so passionate, so loved before. You would let him touch you anywhere and everywhere, as long as he was still making your body sing with pleasure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” You whispered back, closing your eyes and focusing just on his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your skin, it’s so beautiful,” He said, and it felt as if your heart skipped a beat. “So soft, so warm, so alluring.” His other arm came around you and he held you, tucking his face into your neck and taking a deep breath. “You smell so lovely. You taste so lovely.” He continued to compliment you while running his hand up and down your inner thigh, and you couldn't help but to let out a quiet moan in his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you, Princess. You don’t know how badly I want you right now.” You were trembling there in his lap as he continued to whisper in your ear, making your passion for him rush straight to your loins. You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter with each hot breath he blew onto your ear and neck, and you clung to him. You never, ever wanted this to end. He left a light kiss on your neck before pulling away. You whined, reaching out to him to get his lips back on you, but it would appear he had other plans. Slowly he began moving you toward the other end up the bed, and you had no choice but to move along with him. You thought you knew what was coming when your head hit the pillow, but you never would have expected the lustful look that stared back at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved his way down your body, positioned himself in between your legs where, for the first time, you felt him. His cock. His cock that was rock hard and currently pressing up against your already too sensitive sex. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” He asked again, and you threw your arms around his neck and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you too.” You said, doing your best to smile at him, to portray your needs as openly as you could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good to know, Princess.” He said, and then he kissed you again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body on top of yours was a feeling you knew you’d never be able to recreate. There was no greater feeling than his chest pressed up against yours, his arms wrapped around you and his hands on your cheeks. He had repeatedly repositioned himself so that his cock would strain against his pants and you could clearly feel it, silently letting you know his desires as well. You bucked your hips against his, matching his movements in a way that simulated sex as you thought it was. You were self conscious, not about your body but about your lack of sexual experience. What if you did something stupid and made a fool out of yourself? What if you did something wrong that totally turned him and yourself off? With how hot and heavy everything was getting the last thing you wanted was for it to come to an embarrassing end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But what was happening in that second was perfect. Him grinding against you, you moaning into his mouth and being open to every little action he performed for you, you never would have changed a thing. So you sat there, your dress around your hips and your underwear growing damp, his cock poking at your entrance through his pants, and your lips interlocked with one another. You could have done this all night. You could have done this for the rest of your life, but it would seem Kylo felt the need to stop so suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to do this now?” He asked, once again reaching out and cupping your cheek in his hand. He ran his thumb over your lips as you contemplated his words. Did you want it now? Did you want Kylo Ren to take your virginity in this bed, right now? The billionaire, the businessman, the man who cared so much about you. Did you want to lose your virginity to him right this second? “I want to have you in this bed right now, but you said so yourself. Dinner is almost ready. Allison will be knocking on your door any minute now, just like today in the gardens.” You stared at him, disappointment taking over your emotions as you realized he was right. There was no worse feeling than having to break your kiss because someone was coming up behind you. Now definitely would not be the best time. You shook your head, and as if he could read the disappointment on your face he bent down and kissed the tip of your nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to take my time with you. I want to make you feel things you’ve never felt before,” He explained, leaning up off of you. “You’re my princess, and my princess deserves the best she can get.” He ran his hand down your face, your neck, your shoulder and side, stopping only to fix your dress and pull it down. You sat up as he stood himself from the bed, watching him closely as he adjusted himself. He was still hard, and his cock made a breathtaking tent in his pants. You couldn’t tear your eyes from the sight, couldn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>imagine </span>
  </em>
  <span>what lurked there beneath his pants. Again, you knew nothing about sex and had no idea if you’d even be able to take something as big as he was. He looked over to you as he was reaching into his pants to hide his obvious erection and you looked away, blushing as you hoped he didn’t see you admiring him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you’re ready, come find me,” He said, smiling at you. “I promise, once we’re able to be alone I’ll show you how good I can make you feel.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds good.” You said, still at a complete loss for words. Your horniness was still clinging to you, you were still squeezing your thighs together in a desperate attempt to preserve the feeling of him there between your legs. You hoped you had portrayed your excitement accurately, hoped that you didn’t make yourself look timid and scared, because you really did want to have sex with Kylo. You had come this far, had nothing to lose and wouldn’t even know him for much longer. You were attracted to him, he was attracted to you, and if how you felt in bed tonight was any indication of how he could make you feel during the real deal, then you knew it was definitely something to look forward to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched him leave your room, and you sat there in the dark replaying the action over and over in your mind. You couldn’t get the feeling of his hands over your skin out of your head. Every inch of your skin broke out in goosebumps, and the only thing you could do in response was to run your hands up and down your arms. Your skin warmed, and the butterflies continued on their tirade in your stomach. You loved being here, and you loved spending time with Kylo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As badly as you wanted to feel Kylo’s body on yours so quickly, you had ultimately decided that tonight wouldn’t be the night. When not high on sexual bliss, you realized you might not be ready. It did feel good, but you really weren’t prepared to come here and have sex. Hanagan had never taught you about sex, and it wasn’t as if you were allowed any pornographic material to educate yourself, so you were totally unprepared. The thought scared you. Some of the older girls you had grown up with told you “popping your cherry” was painful, and that you’d bleed for hours on end. You didn’t know if that was true or not, but if it was the thought was horrifying. Were you really willing to go through that for Kylo? The answer was not no, more of a not right now. Sitting there in bed you ran your hands over your body, trying to figure yourself out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did you like? Touching, feeling, being molested by someone you thought was attractive. Sure your hands didn’t make you slicken like Kylo’s could, didn’t make your skin prickle like it did when Kylo touched you. Maybe that was it. Maybe your thing was being touched?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A moan escaped past your lips as you thought back to the way he felt. The way he touched you, his rough hands on your sensitive skin. He said your skin was beautiful, he said your skin was perfect. He said you were his </span>
  <em>
    <span>princess. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That night, when everyone on the estate was fast asleep, you couldn’t stop yourself from allowing your hands to stay between your legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long before your back was arching and your fingers were covered in your own cum. You were shaking, covering your own mouth as your calls of passion came out louder than you originally wanted. You could so clearly feel his body on top of yours, his hands on your face while his cock sat nestled deep inside of you. The way his hands chest would press against yours. The way he’d speak to you so softly, calling you his princess and tell you he wanted to take care of you. You nearly cried as your orgasm took over, knowing for certain that this is what your body craved. Touch. Appreciation. To be loved. Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo.” You muttered as you shook in the throws of your own orgasm. He was the central focus of your mind. His hands, his body, his voice, his kindness. Everything about him took you over the edge. You sat there, staring at the ceiling and smiling in your post sex bliss as thoughts of Kylo still graced your mind. “Kylo,” You whispered. “I’m ready to be your princess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next evening you were dressed in one of the dresses that was gifted to you for your birthday. It was a deep red and velvety with a black collar and other black accents. For the first time since you came to the estate, you wore something other than flats. Grace taught you how to strut around in a pair of modest heels, and even though you wobbled even worse than the day you went ice skating it didn’t take you long until you had mastered the art. They were simple enough, black with a small strap that ran across the top of your foot. You felt like a diva as you clicked across the foyer with Grace, dressed in your blue coat and hate with your new purse dangling at your side. You smiled at Kylo, genuinely happy to see him in a dashing black and white tuxedo. He smiled back, the kind of smile that came from a place of adoration, and you couldn’t wait to be at his side</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are my favorite ladies ready to head to the theater?” He asked, holding his arm out to you. You knew better than to openly gush over him in public, in front of the maids and in front of Grace, so you decided to say nothing at all. Instead you laced your arm into his and walked happily out of his door, out into the night where you’d be treated to your very first live action play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the longest drive you had ever taken, but when you finally made it to Broadway the driver let everyone out a little ways down the road from the theater. You didn’t mind, because walking the busy sidewalks that were completely illuminated by the streetlights and stores had turned out to be one of your favorite things. You still walked arm in arm with Kylo, relishing the feeling of his massive body next to yours. You had to bite back the urge to lay your head on his arm, even for just a moment. It wasn’t your fault that he made you feel so safe. He protected you, and you wished so badly that you could lean up and give him a kiss on the cheek. You didn’t know how Grace would take it so you filed it into the back of your mind. That could be saved for later, when he was calling you his princess in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grace was the one to walk up to the ticket counter and hand over the vouchers, and while she did you stayed back close to Kylo. People were ushering in and out of the doors around you. The bright yellow lights surrounded you, coupled with the play posters and the excited speech that existed all around you. You grew so excited, spinning around in circles and trying to take in everything at once. This was a dream come true, like you were soaring so high on cloud nine. Higher than the orphanage, higher than Hanagan. Higher than anything in your history that could have brought you down. You felt like this is where you belonged, and the fact that Kylo came up behind you and grabbed your hand made you feel that much more at home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful, kid,” He warned, spinning you back around and grinning at you. “It brings me such joy to see you happy, just please try not to bump into anyone, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can try, but…” You said, breaking his gaze to once again look at your eccentric surroundings. “Just look at it!” You exclaimed, opening your arms as if you could hug the entire opening of the theater. “It’s all so bright and wonderful!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, my dear. I’ve been to a Broadway show before, and I agree that it is spectacular,” He said, taking you by the hand and leading you over to Grace. You couldn’t take your grin away as he led you over to Grace, who was now holding three bright blue tickets in her hand. “I’ll make sure this isn’t your last trip to Broadway either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, here we are,” Grace said, handing a ticket to Kylo. “Hang on tight to it, Saint. You’ll need it to get into the theater.” You held onto it tight just as Grace said, reading over it and nearly gasping when you read you’d be getting a balcony seat for tonight’s show. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Balcony seating?!” You asked, laughing out loud as you just couldn’t believe it. Kylo had dropped so much money on you, but this took the cake. You could imagine yourself sitting in a row at a Broadway show, but never in a balcony! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only the best for you, Saint.” Kylo said, placing his hand on your back and pushing you toward the inside of the theater. You felt yourself blush as you knew what he was really trying to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Only the best for my princess. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You were his princess, and he would only treat you to the best of the best.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The show was even better than you imagined. The colorful costumes, the dancing, the singing, it was all so much fun! The actors and actresses were all so attractive and full of energy, and even though Kylo had leaned over you several times to tell you that there were far better plays he could take you to see next time, you couldn’t help but to fall in love with the story. Based on your history with plays, this one was as good as any and you really didn’t care what anyone had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The theater itself was breathtaking. You were one of four lucky parties that got to sit in a balcony to see the show, and the others that got to sit above and across from you were all dressed to the nines. The women wore large, eye catching, colorful dresses while the men wore the most stunning of suits. Everyone below you in the main seating section was dressed just as nicely, they were just harder to see from all the way above them. The theater was covered in royal reds and golds, from the curtains, to the seats, to the stage itself, it was a very pleasing and exciting sight. Here you were seated with royalty watching your first Broadway show. You were constantly reminding yourself that you weren’t dreaming, and that this was real life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part way through the play you noticed you were growing cold. It wasn’t noticeable at first and you were able to ignore it until mildly painful goosebumps grew on your skin. They must have turned on the air conditioning for some reason, even thought it was the middle of winter. You ran your hands over your arms while still keeping a watchful eye on the play below you, when Kylo leaned in close to your ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cold, my dear?” He asked, beginning to shimmy his suit jacket off. They had taken yours and Grace’s at the door to be stored in the coatroom, leaving you shivering in the dark with nothing to keep you warm. You nodded your head, and only tore your eyes from the stage just in time to see Kylo throwing his jacket over you. You smiled at him as you made yourself comfortable, cuddling up under it like it was a blanket. You sighed, and just when you were getting back into the play Kylo crept his hand under his jacket and rested on your naked knee. You smiled at him, glancing past him to make sure Grace wasn’t watching, and when you found her paying close attention to the play instead of you, you took it upon yourself to relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The minutes passed, and every so slowly Kylo started moving his hand over your knee and up your thigh, leaving you once again growing horny in probably the worst place. But you didn’t care. His actions were concealed by his black jacket, and honestly you would let him touch you anywhere. You lay your head down on his shoulder, still staring at the play as you spread your legs wider, giving him better access. He sighed, rubbing your thigh up and down for a few moments before finally giving into what you knew both you and him wanted and going for the crotch of your underwear. You giggled, moving forward in your seat as you gave him a better position to feel you in. You closed your eyes as his large fingers gently caressed the front of your underwear, feeling your labia ever so lightly and leaving you growing wet beneath his own fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love this.” You whispered, and he chuckled at you. Your focus had gone from the play to the way Kylo was feeling you, growing more and more excited as time passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do too.” He said back to you, and you realized you had a special secret to keep between the two of you. Grace didn’t know, none of the hundreds of other people in the theater knew, and none of his staff knew that your relationship with Kylo had taken a sexual turn. You were his secret little princess, and it was probably the most exciting secret you had ever been a part of. Again, you spread your legs wider for him, looking up at him proudly and smiling at him. He looked back down at you before taking a quick glance at Grace who was still so engrossed in the play and likely had no idea what was going on just feet away from her. He leaned down next to you, maneuvering you so that he was whispering directly into your ear again</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to try when we get back to the estate?” He asked, sending a bolt of electricity surging through your body. You could feel him smiling against your ear as his fingers slowly dragged a bit higher on your pelvis, stopping at the waistband of your panties and pulling them away from your body. Even though you were still nervous about giving up your virginity to Kylo, you knew you wanted it to happen eventually. What difference did it make if it was tonight or next week? If anything, his warm fingers against your sex excited you so much that you almost instantly nodded your head. “Excellent.” He whispered back, taking it upon himself to dip his fingers into your underwear and finding your sex rather quickly. You smiled, tucking your head into his shoulder as you gave your all to him, enjoying the warmth of his fingers as he played in your wetness. Tonight, you and Kylo would become one with each other. You’d entrust him with your body during your first sexual escapade, and you were determined to enjoy every minute of it. You continued to watch the play as Kylo quietly ran soft circles over your clit and between your lips, wondering if your first experience watching a play on Broadway would also include an orgasm at Kylo’s hand as well. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Saint has aphephilia, which means she experiences arousal from being touched and touching. In doing my research on this kink I found that most people ave aphephilia, but I cranked up the volume for her specifically lol. You'll see next chapter when our love birds finally get together! <br/>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The rest of the play went on, and much to your disappointment Kylo didn’t keep his hands under his jacket for very long. When he removed them from your underwear you watched him closely. He took another look at Grace, who still had her eyes glued to the stage, before bringing his index finger to his lips and sticking his top knuckle in his mouth. You gasped, looked over at Grace yourself and wondered how she had not seen any of what just happened go down. She still sat looking on at the stage as glamorous as she always was, completely unaware that Kylo had just tasted you for the first time. You looked back up at Kylo who was now back to watching the play like nothing had ever happened. You blushed, figuring he was just good at this kind of thing, better than you probably ever would be. You had to say though, there was something so erotic about engaging in something meant to be private in a space that was so public. Any one of the people sitting in the balconies across from you, or anyone on stage could have looked up and seen him slip his hand under his jacket over your lap, or could have seen him place the tip of his finger in his mouth and think nothing of it. You cuddled down under his jacket, rubbing your knee and trying to recreate the warmth he gave you. It wasn’t nearly the same, but it would suffice until you got to have him alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the play finally ended, you, Kylo and Grace all stood and gave the cast a round of applause. To hear every member of the audience joining you as you praised the actors and actresses for the incredible performance they put on was just as amazing as visiting the theater itself! They all took so much pride in their performance, and it truly was spectacular. You clapped and clapped until Kylo was grabbing your hand and pulling you off to the staircase to your left. This officially meant that your first experience in a theater had ended, and you honestly couldn’t wait until the day you’d come back to see a different show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was amazing!” You said, prancing down the sidewalk back to the car. “Please can we go again? Even if we have to see the same show, I want to go one more time before I--” You started to say as the excitement poured from your body. You skipped and spun to look back at Grace and Kylo, and giggled as you watched Grace smile proudly at Kylo. She laced her arm in his just as he had with you on your way to the theater, and you couldn't stop yourself from getting the smallest bit jealous. You thought Kylo had let you hold onto his arm because you were his princess. You thought he saved those kinds of interactions just for you, because you were so special to him. You looked at the way Grace beamed at him, and you had to wonder: did Kylo call Grace his princess too? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course we can, dear,” Kylo spoke, cutting you off before you mentioned the fact that you’d have to leave. The damage had already been done, however, and you found yourself glaring at Grace before turning around and looking down the street. “Grace, will you set us up with a new play for next week?” Kylo asked there behind you, to which Grace answered with a peppy ‘certainly.’ You thought back to the girl at the ice skating rink, how she swooned over Kylo right in front of you while the two of you were clearly on a date. Now that you had gone so far with Kylo, now that the two of you had agreed to have sex, you could see feelings for what they were from the very beginning: jealousy. Seeing Kylo treat other women with affection made you jealous, and you thought that was a ridiculous way to feel because you’d be gone by the end of the month. By the time you made it to the car you had cooled yourself down. Being angry at Kylo wasn’t the answer, being jealous wouldn’t extend any of your time with him. You realized that, before allowing him to have sex with you you had to let go of these feelings. You and Kylo would never be a couple. This wasn’t a fairytale, and even though he called you his princess, he wasn’t a prince charming. Once the month of December came to an end, you’d be without Kylo yet again. It was a depressing thought, but you were still willing to become intimate with him. The way you saw it, you had nothing to lose and everything to gain. As the three of you filed into the car you did your best to focus on anything else but Kylo and Grace. The show was amazing, the balcony was amazing, and the way Kylo came onto you was even better. Right now, all you wanted to focus on was what you were planning on doing with him tonight, and that wouldn’t involve Grace at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All four of you discussed the play with one another, going over every little detail you could remember with the driver until you were back at the estate. It was late at night, most of the maids had already gone to bed and the lights were all out. Eli opened the door, happy as ever to greet you and take your coats from you. Everyone was all smiles as you gave Eli a short recap of everything the play offered you, and in the end Grace placed her arm around you and started leading toward the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s late enough Saint. Why don’t you head up to bed, and we’ll see you in the morning.” She said, and you began to panic slightly. You weren’t ready for bed, you were ready to spend the rest of the night with Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, just a moment,” You said, wiggling your way out of her arm. “I’ll be up in a minute, I’m gonna go get a small snack from the kitchen.” You smiled at her, and lucky for you she didn’t seem to be alerted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, midnight snacks are always important.” She hummed, then bid you goodnight with the same charming smile she always carried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here Saint,” Eli cut in, making his way from the coat closet across the foyer to you and Kylo. “I’ll escort you. It’s hard to navigate the kitchen with the lights off--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, Eli?” Kylo cut in, taking a bold step toward the two of you. “I know your shift is about to end, but is there any way you could set my peacoat out for dry cleaning?” Eli turned to him confused, then looked back at you as if he were worried about your late night snack run. It really was close to midnight and you had no idea what time Eli was able to go to bed. By all means he was free to head to his room because you had no plans on going into the kitchen that night. You only planned on going to bed with Kylo, and that was that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir? This late at night?” Eli asked, sounding completely puzzled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, if you would. I meant to remind you before we left, but I seem to remember an overly elated girl distracting me on our way out.” You heard Kylo’s voice soften, and you could almost feel him smiling devilishly there behind you. You turned around just in time to see Eli turning and heading up the stairs, and Kylo had the most pleased look upon his face. “I can have one of the maids escort Saint through the kitchen and back to her room if need be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, no problem, Mr. Ren,” He said, heading up the stairs. “I’ll just go grab a dry cleaner bag. If I don’t see you, have a goodnight you two!” He said, and you both watched him as he disappeared around the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo stepped up behind you, standing close enough so that you could feel him breathing down your neck. His hands came up at your sides and he pulled you into him, bending down and kissing the outer shell of your ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and I make a great team.” He said, and you reached an arm up behind him, clutching the back of his neck in your palm while you craned your neck to look at him. He looked proud of you, like you really were special to him and he wanted you. “Do you still want to head to my room?” He asked, and you nodded your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Been looking forward to it all evening long.” You whispered, and when he fell away from you and grabbed your hand to pull you toward the steps you began to vibrate in anticipation. Him touching you intimately turned you on so much that the thought of him doing even more caused you to tremble as you climbed the steps. You were so ready for this. You were ready to be his for the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of you walked hand in hand, up the stairs and to the right of the grand piano. You had never been down this hall, and you quickly figured out why. Whenever you looked down this hallway it looked as if there was nothing down here. Your hallway branched out into three other hallways with plenty of doors to house all of Kylo’s staff. This hallway just had windows, but once you got near the end you could see a much shorter hallway off to the right with just one door. It was larger than every other door on the estate, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this was Kylo’s master bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He said nothing as he opened the door, and subsequently you could say nothing as you took in what sat before you. His bedroom looked like a ballroom. A larger than life chandelier hung from the ceiling along with a strip of lights along the top of the walls, and even more lights were mounted to the wall above his bed. None of them were on presently, but the silver light of the moon shining through the many open windows that wrapped around each wall of his room illuminated everything. He had an all black, well maintained bed that was huge, with a grey footboard and headboard that were curved at each end. In front of his bed sat a small leather couch, and in front of that stood something you had never seen before in your life. A TV. An actual, stand alone TV. Your jaw fell to the floor as you took a step toward it, marveling it while Kylo shut the door behind you. You had heard of TVs before, the small boxes with the big antennae that bring picture to the radio. You almost didn’t believe it. Only the richest of the rich could be afforded a TV, and you had to wonder how stupid you were to think that Kylo Ren didn’t have a TV in his own bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Off to the right was another small lounge area similar to the one in his office, next to a grand fireplace and everything. There was a cigar ashtray on top of the small coffee table as well as some magazines and books he had taken from his library, and across from that stood a mirror that ran from the ceiling to the floor. Next to that you could only assume was a door that led to his closet, and on the other side of his room was an open door that led to a bathroom. When put all together, his bedroom screamed riches, and for a moment you forgot why you were here in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of a match being struck drew your attention, and when you turned around you found Kylo lighting a small candle that sat on his bedside table. The room was alit in a small orange glow, and Kylo looked as handsome as ever. The way the soft light danced across his face as he shook the match out was so alluring, and you found your skin tingling as you took a few more steps over to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the smallest bit drawn to you when I first laid eyes on you,” He said walking across his bed to the other side where he took another candle in his hand and lit that one too. “Then Grace told me you were the orphan she had invited for Christmas, and I realized you weren’t eighteen yet. I tried to ignore you and push you away, since it’s heavily frowned upon to lust after someone underage. I thought you were sixteen, fifteen, something like that. It wasn’t until Grace reminded me that you were turning 18 in a matter of days that I found myself drifting closer to you, especially when you wouldn’t leave me alone.” He shook the second match out and turned around to smile at you, and you immediately felt more than welcome in his personal space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to say, Saint, everything about you is so intoxicating. Your looks, your personality, the way you speak, the way you dress…” He said, trailing off as he met you on the other side of his room. “And I only just recently found out that your body, your scent, your </span>
  <em>
    <span>taste</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s all just as addictive as the rest of you, and I’m not ashamed to say that, over the past few days, I’ve become an addict for my princess.” His arms came around you and he now held you close to him, and before you could do anything else his lips came down onto yours. The kiss was slow and sensual, and when paired with your current surroundings created the most sexualized atmosphere you had ever been a part of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed all too soon that he was pulling away from you, and as he stepped out of your arms you found yourself reaching for him. He held his finger up to you as he walked into the lounge area of his bedroom, over to a small table a few feet from his fireplace. You had missed the record player that was hidden in the shadows, and you only knew it was a record player when slow, classical music began to come from that corner. You smiled as you watched him turn around and shook his suit jacket off. After laying it down across the back of his loveseat he advanced toward you, slowly but surely unbuttoning his white shirt and exposing his chest to you. You grew needy and desperate for him, wondering what he felt like beneath all those layers. Would feeling him turn you on as much as him feeling you would? Would his body be as intoxicating as his hands were? You took another step toward him, desperate for his touch, but when he placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you, you found yourself growing frustrated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before we take this any further,” He said, a look of seriousness adorning his face. You were fidgety, ready have him on top of you already. You had come up here to become intimate with him, not have an extensive conversation. “I need to make sure that this is what you want. I don’t want you to agree to this just because I want it.” He said, placing a finger under your chin and lifting your gaze to him. “Promise me, princess, that you want this to happen tonight, and that if there’s anything I do that makes you uncomfortable you’ll tell me to stop.” You were so grateful that Kylo was so thoughtful of you. You had heard too many stories of girls that were forced into this kind of thing and were left with years worth of trauma. But not Kylo. Kylo made sure that this is what you wanted, and lucky for him, you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise that I want this.” You said, leaning up and leaving a small kiss upon his lips. He smiled back at you, nodded his head and offered you a quiet okay before slipping his hands behind your back and beginning to fiddle with the zipper of your dress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you done this before, with anyone else?” He asked before starting to unzip you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not at all.” You answered. You grew fidgety as your dress became loose, watched as his lips quirked up when you told him you were a virgin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve never had sex at all?” He asked once the zipper got to your waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I did tell you I had never kissed anyone.” You reminded him, but he stood still. It was as if he was giving you one more chance to back out if you really didn’t want it, but you were so excited to go through with this. Kylo didn’t make you feel scared or uncomfortable. He didn’t make this experience unnatural, awkward, or difficult. You could feel the passion he held for you, and your passion for him came completely unhidden. You didn’t think giving up your virginity to anyone else was an option. You wanted this. You wanted Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands switched from your back to your shoulders, and inch by inch he began pulling your dress from your body. There was no going back now. Your body moved with him as your dress came from your arms, fell down your body, and pooled at your feet. You stood in front of him in just your underwear, and you were as confident as ever. Kylo stepped back as he admired your body, running his eyes up and down your tan bra and panties, at the parts of your bare body he had never seen before. You could tell he was hungry for you, and you wanted to give him everything he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took your hand and brought you over to his bed where he sat you down, and without taking his eyes off of yours he unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Ever so slowly he allowed the shirt to fall to the floor, revealing his bare chest in all of its glory. He was built so perfectly, sculpted by the most perfect hands. His pecs were to die for, his abdominal muscles just barely poked out of his skin, and his nipples were perky and a deep red color. You caught yourself leaning forward a little too much, eager to get your hands on him as soon as you could, to which he giggled at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Princess, you must relax,” He warned as he undid his belt, causing his pants to go slack on his already long, muscular legs. “Sex can’t be taken too quickly. I want to take my time with you, remember?” He slid his pants down his legs. He had on black underwear that hugged him a little too tightly, and the first thing you were drawn to was the small line of black hair that ran from his belly button down into his underwear. You looked from his crotch to him for just a moment before you could hold your eyes back no more. His underwear was stretching before your very eyes. You squirmed there in front of him as you grew wet between your legs. You just wanted to see. Was that too much to ask? “It’s going to be uncomfortable for you if we dive in head first, just trust me on that one.” He said, stepping out of his pants and placing his hand upon your bare shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, lay down. You deserve to be pampered.” You smiled, unable to say anything as you scooted back with him. His bed was so much bigger and softer than yours was, and when you lay splayed out you really thought you could get used to sleeping in here, with him. He told you to flip over onto your belly. You did as you were told, laying your hands under your head as you made yourself comfortable. Kylo crouched there next to you, placing his knees next to your ribs before placing his hands upon the small of your back. You could feel that his hand stretched nearly from one end of your back to the other, from fingertip to his wrist. He sighed, moaned just a bit as he ran his hand from your back down to your thighs. Your skin tingled and you wiggled beneath him. You were so horny and you had no idea what to do with yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are so perfect,” He moaned. “Look at this perfect skin. Look at this perfect body. How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you, princess?” You grinned into his bed as he praised you, and when his fingers started moving, massaging your muscles you felt like you could have died. His fingers kneaded into the muscles of your neck, your back, your spine, and your thighs. You bucked your hips into the mattress, repressing your moans as you remembered what he said. He needed to take his time with you, and you really were appreciating all of the touching you were getting. You felt yourself drooling as he made his way back up your body, then jumped in surprise as your bra snapped undone. You picked your head up, looked over your shoulder at Kylo just as he ducked his head down and placed a soft kiss where your bra clasps had been. This time, your moan wasn’t quiet. Never had you thought about receiving kisses anywhere else other than your lips, and as it turned out, kisses on your body set every fiber of your being ablaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo mounted you, pressing his erection into the flesh of your butt as he bent his head down to your ear. “You’re so needy,” He whispered, placing another kiss on your neck. “Just look at you, pressing those thighs together, writhing back and forth. Do you need me there in between your legs, princess?” You nodded as your voice caught in your throat. Just like the night he met you in your room he began to hump you, to push his cock against your sex, which was already so sensitive to his touch. “Excellent.” He said, and he leaned up off of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You took matters into your own hands as you spun around toward him, and he seemed to respect your wishes. He moved with you until he was sitting on top of you, straddling you. You could no longer stop yourself. You stared at the tent that sat upright in his underwear as you placed your hands upon his knees, running them up his strong thighs shortly afterword. Your fingers trembled as he allowed you to explore his body this time, and you ravished the feeling of his warm skin. His cock jumped as you got closer to it, and for a moment you just paused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to see it?” He asked, and your heart leaped into your chest. You nodded your head as your mouth fell open, and you watched as his hands went to the waistband of his underwear. This was it. You were about to see his penis in person, and nothing excited you more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever so slowly he pulled his underwear down, and in the glow of the candles that sat on each side of the bed you were introduced to a side of Kylo you never thought you would have seen when you first met him. His erection sprang to life, bobbing up and down until he took a hold of it. His hands were big enough as it was, but they only made his cock look even bigger as his fingers barely wrapped all the way around his girth. It was just as beautiful as he was, it was just as </span>
  <em>
    <span>big </span>
  </em>
  <span>as he was. The tip was round and bulbous, deep red as he stroked it before your very eyes. You could smell the musky smell of his precum as it oozed from the tip and onto your bare skin, and once it fell to you it cooled you. It was the first time you noticed that your body was hot and aching </span>
</p><p>
  <span>for him, and from there on out no words needed to be said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully he worked his way out of his underwear as you made your way out of your bra, and while he sat naked on top of you he gave you the neediest look. He had teased you about being desperate for him, but the fact that he sat there, his cock pointing up to the ceiling, fussing with the elastic of your panties told you that he was desperate for you too. You couldn’t keep him waiting any longer. Boldly you grasped your panties at your waist and began to pull them down your thighs, and lucky for you Kylo was willing to help you with that. You hoisted your hips in the air making it easy for him to finish what you started, and soon you sat nude just as he was. You weren’t embarrassed or nervous. You were elated and felt like this is where you belonged. You stared in awe as Kylo placed a hand on your knee, rubbed the inside with his thumb and stared down between your legs. You felt so safe and appreciated with him, like he wasn’t trying to take advantage of you in any way. You watched as he mouthed the word ‘beautiful,’ then lifted his eyes back to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful. My beautiful princess.” He breathed, before leaning down onto you. With both of his hands at the sides of your head his lips fell onto yours, and moments later the two of you were making out. His cock poked and prodded your entrance, and there were multiple times you had spread your legs, lifted them, crossed your ankles behind his back thinking he was going to penetrate you, but that never happened. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>taking his time, </span>
  </em>
  <span>making sure you were ready for him before he went any further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His cock slid along your labia, driving you wild and causing you to moan in his ear. His kisses went from your mouth, to your jaw, to your neck, all the way down to your collar bones where they grew rough and painful. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you looked down at him, watched as he came up and stared in awe at a small red spot that came to exist right where his lips had been. He picked another spot and did the same thing, going as far down as to suck the soft tissue of your breast in his mouth. In turn, so many small purpling spots were left in his wake, and even though they were not the most comfortable thing to receive, you realized you were marked as his. You loved it, and you were disappointed when he stopped to pull you up to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of him sitting on top of you, you now sat on top of him. His legs stretched out behind you as you straddled his thighs, and his cock stuck straight up in between the two of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to have the control tonight,” He said, running his finger up and down the trail of love bites he had left from your shoulder to your breast. “You’re going to go as fast as you want. You’re going to create a rhythm for us. I’m going to guide you. This is about my princess tonight, and I want to make sure you get the most out of it.” He said, taking your face in his hands and planting another kiss upon your lips. You gripped his shoulder as he pulled you forward, grazing your sex with his cock. This was it. He was going to fuck you right here just like this, and you were all for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now come down on it, relax. I’ve got you.” He said as he switched his grip from your shoulder to his cock. You did as you were told, lowering yourself onto his cock ever so slowly. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you felt the head slip past your lips, felt him stretch you wide. You stopped as he now sat inside of you, realizing you were no longer a virgin. Your walls squeezed around him as you let go of your breath. It was a new feeling, a feeling you never would have expected. You were so overwhelmed with everything. The ambiance, the music, the sound of him moaning and breathing so deeply in front of you. The feeling of him stiffening beneath you, and the feeling of his hand still on your shoulder. It was all so intoxicating, and as you grew even wetter for him your walls widened, and you sunk down deeper on him. It felt so good. You never thought sex would feel this good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once both of his hands sat around you, you realized you had nowhere else to go. You had taken all of him in one go, and you sat in his lap completely content. You let go of your breath and opened your eyes only to see him with his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of you around him. He was such a big, beautiful man. Such a kind, caring, thoughtful man that you just couldn’t keep your hands off of. You stared at him as your instincts took over for you, stretching your legs out as you came up off of him. His eyes fell open and he looked at you, letting go of a breath just as you had before. He looked down the length of your body as you stopped just shy of him slipping out of you, and before he could react you were sinking back onto him. His eyes closed as a groan escaped from deep in his chest, and you knew what you were doing was right. The first time you had ever had sex you were killing it, and you felt so proud of yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Augh, </span>
  </em>
  <span>princess,” He grumbled, arching his back and pressing his face into your neck. “My princess feels so good around me.” You smiled over his shoulder, holding him tight as you found a steady rhythm. Clearly you were causing him the most pleasure in the equation, and as if he could read your mind he picked his head up, looking at you as he seized your hand from the back of his head. In both of his hands sat your smaller one, and you came to a halt as you realized your skin was so much more sensitive than it usually was. Just the feeling of your hand so warm, so safe, and so cozy in his caused a moan to escape past your lips without your permission, and you doubled over as pleasure coursed throughout your body. His hand roamed up your arm and you felt your sex pulsate around him. You had to keep going. The introduction of your most intimate kink wouldn’t allow you to just sit stagnant on his cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your arm sat in both of his hands, and his fingertips ran so effortlessly over your smooth skin. It drove you wild, and before you knew it you were throwing your head back crying out in ecstasy. You wished he had many hands so that he could touch you everywhere, so that he could run his warm hands over every inch of your sensitive body. You were flexing your hips over and over, pushing his cock as deep as you could inside of you. Your orgasm was fast approaching, and you’d never thought that all it would take is to be touched so intimately for you to be thrown over the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your whimpers and whines were coming nonstop as you climbed higher and higher, and just as you reached the point of no return Kylo took ahold of your chin, bringing your focus back to him. His face was turning red and his teeth were bared. If you didn’t know any better you would say he was close to his own ending too, and it was all because of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Open your eyes, princess,” He said between his own staggering breaths. “I want to see you when you cum on me.” The sound of his smooth voice, as well as the feeling of his large hands still running over your arm, did you in. With one final uninhibited moan, you let go. You let go of everything you had and you allowed your body to lurch yourself forward. With his cock nestled deep inside of you, you orgasmed, throwing your body forward and holding onto him for dear life. Your entire body trembled there on top of him, and you couldn’t get enough of his nakedness on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Abruptly, he pushed you off of him, leaning back and sliding out of your cunt. You felt empty and alone without him so deep inside of you, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the sight of him stroking himself. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and his mouth fell open, and you stared down at his cock in between you. You were waiting for something to happen, anything, and you finally got your wish only moments later. With one final groan his cock erupted, twitching and jumping as he aimed it toward you. White fluid shot out from the tip and landed on your belly, and instead of cooling your warm skin it sat hot as it dripped down to the bed. This went on for what seemed like forever, him shooting his sperm until he could only push it out by stroking it. He was out of breath, out of energy as he sat completely still, and when he finally regained his consciousness he looked up at you, suddenly taking your cheeks in his hands and pressing his lips against yours. His body squished against yours, spreading his semen between the two of you as you basked at him in your post sex bliss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your very first sexual experience had finally come to an end, and it was the most magical, most wonderful moment of your life. You clung to Kylo as he ran his hands up and down your back, and for one moment, one split second, for just one breath, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Kylo Ren.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Did it hurt?” He asks as the tips of his fingers roam up and down your side. Fucking him had taken all of your energy, and at the moment the only thing you could do was lay there on your side, staring at him and smiling like he had saved your life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really.” You responded, sighing as you replayed the images of your first time over and over in your mind. No, it didn’t hurt, but looking back on how massive his cock was, you could understand why you were left a little sore between your legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were a champ,” Kylo said, reaching out and pushing some of your wet hair from your forehead. “Are you sure you had never done that before?” He asked with a giggle, resting his hand on your cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never. I grew up in an all girls orphanage, remember?” You giggled along with him. After everything had been said and done Kylo so graciously hopped up and grabbed a towel from his bathroom, wetting it down and cleaning your belly with it. You really didn’t know what you were supposed to do right after sex, but you were content with just laying here next to him. Staring at him. Feeling him. Relaxing with him. Kylo didn’t seem to think any differently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My princess,” He sighed, letting his hand rest on your hip. “My perfect, beautiful princess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love being your princess.” You said, resting your hand on his shoulder. You closed your eyes, fully prepared to fall asleep there in his bed. You felt him move there in the bed next to you which caused you to open your eyes, worried about why he was leaving you. You watched as he had turned himself, looked at the small clock on the bedside table and rolled back to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost one AM. Do you want me to escort you back to your bedroom?” He asked, and you tried not to look at him too disappointed. The last thing you wanted to do was go back to your room. Why would you give up sleeping in this massive, comfortable bed with this massive, beautiful man, in this massive, breathtaking bedroom? You scooted yourself closer to him, cuddling up to him and throwing your arm over his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I really have to go?” You asked, doing your best to give him the best puppy dog eyes you could. “I’m kinda sore. I think a nice sleep in a nice bed would really do me well.” Kylo grinned at you, leaned over again and blew out the candle that was on his side of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This won’t be the last time,” He said, and you grew massively excited at his continued promises. “Blow out that candle, and don’t you tell a single soul about what we’ve done tonight.” Whispering a quirky ‘okay’ to him, you did as you were told. When the candle was blown out the two of you were left drenched in the moonlight, and Kylo almost immediately rolled over and draped his arm over your midsection, cuddling you close. You felt so safe there in his bed, in his arms and against his body. You felt like you had finally found the one person who cared about you. Not in the way a mother or a father would, but a lover. Yes, perhaps the word ‘lover’ more accurately described how you felt about Kylo. He was sent to you in order to fill the hole in your gaping heart, not as your parent but as someone to make love to you and make you feel special. You thrust your hands under your head and closed your eyes, ravishing the feeling of his warm skin against yours. Who knew what tomorrow would bring, and really who cared?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweet dreams, princess.” Kylo said, pressing his face into the vertebrae in your neck. With the classical music still playing on the record player you drifted to sleep, wishing you could stay like this forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning you awoke to a knock on the door. The softest of knocks roused you from the best, most peaceful sleep you had ever gotten, and you realized that Kylo was not awake. You flipped over, stretched as another louder knock sharpened your senses. You hadn’t forgotten that you were in bed with Kylo, and that the two of you had been intimate the previous night. What you had forgotten was the fact that you were completely naked and so was Kylo, and you didn’t remember until you sat up and the thick blanket you had been sleeping under fell from your body, exposing your breasts to the entire room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You realized how bad this would look if whoever was knocking on the door simply let themselves in. Allison would do that sometimes, after knocking two or three times and announcing that it was her she’d let herself in with your regular morning tea. Who was to say whoever was on the other side of the door wouldn’t do the same. You quickly covered yourself, momentarily panicking while Kylo stirred beside you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Mr. Ren!” Cried one of the maids from the other side of the door. Kylo rubbed his eyes, stretched just as you did until his body convulsed and he was sitting up when he realized someone was on the other side of the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gloria, just a moment.” He called back, throwing his blanket off of him and standing from the bed. He seemed to pay you no mind as he scrambled to his closet, throwing it open completely naked and stepping out just seconds later with a pair of black sweatpants on. He stepped up to his mirror and finger combed through his hair before rushing over to the door. As he opened it you sunk down into the bed, lifting the blanket to your face trying to hide from the maid on the other side of the door. Kylo had told you that you couldn’t tell anyone about what you did, and you thought if they spotted you naked in his bed that would create an entirely new world of problems for both you and him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo cracked the door open and reached his hands past it, whispered a quiet good morning to Gloria. You were impressed that he did all of that without letting her see past him, and even more impressed when he smooth talked his way past all of her questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The staff has eaten breakfast and the kitchen has reserved you a plate. Shall I ask them to set it at the table now since it’s rather late?” You listened closely for his answer. You were always puzzled as to why Kylo chose to eat alone and away from everyone else, and you thought one of them would give the reason away this morning. You thought he was just a loner and that he didn't want to be around other people. Everyone except for you, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not necessary. I’ll take my breakfast in my office today.” He said, slipping the tray of food through the door and placing it on the nearby coffee table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Grace asked me to inquire with you about the orphan. She missed breakfast today and neither Grace nor the staff members can find her.” You smiled at the question, imagining everyone looking for you and wondering where you were. You were in the one place you probably shouldn’t have been, and that was naked in Kylo Ren’s bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She wasn’t in her room?” He asked politely, knowing full and well you weren’t in your room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No sir. Allison checked when she didn’t answer the door.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. Check deep in the gardens. I took her out to the greenhouse the other day and she had a good time. She might have disappeared there.” He offered, beginning to shut the door but Gloria stopped him one more time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her coat, hat, gloves, and purse were all found in their proper place, sir,” She said, starting to sound distraught. “Grace is especially worried about her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” Kylo said with a sigh, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Well, if I see her I will send her straight to Grace. Thank you for the update, and keep me in the loop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will do, sir.” She said, and Kylo finally closed the door behind her. You sat up, still clutching the blanket to hide your body and smiling at him as he turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose they wouldn’t think to look for you here.” He said, reaching down to his tray and grabbing one of the cookies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess not.” You whispered back. He made his way to the bed, sinking back down onto it and leaning in for a kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, princess,” He said, staring at you with the warmest, loving smile. “How are you feeling?” He handed you the cookie and you lifted it gingerly to your lips, finding it hard to open your mouth when you were beaming so happily at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” Was all you could say, especially when he giggled at you and placed his hand over yours that was propping you up on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still sore?” He asked, rubbing the top of your hand with his thumb and igniting the fire full of passion you held for him inside of you. His hazel eyes bore into yours, and you found yourself falling in love with him all over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only a little.” You admitted, taking a bite of your cookie and chewing it lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s good to know.” He said with a sigh, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He ran his hands over his face and looked down at the floor for a moment before speaking to you again. “I guess I’ve gotta send you to Grace. She’s looking for you.” He said, sounding rather disappointed. You felt bad for him, getting the feeling that, perhaps, it had been a while since Kylo had someone like you to share his night with. That was okay, because you didn’t want to leave either. You opened your mouth to object to his suggestion when you realized you were missing something quite important. Your hands went to your collar bones where you knew your locket had been the night before, and you panicked when you felt nothing but your bare skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My, my locket!” You cried twisting your body to look through the pillows. You thought it had slipped off, unclasped or something and you thought it was gone forever. Kylo only let you panic for one moment before he reached over to his nightstand and drew his hand toward him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have it right here, baby.” He whispered, turning toward you and leaning his body closer to yours. “I didn’t want it to choke you in your sleep.” He admitted, unclasping it and taking both ends in his hands. Just like the day you went ice skating, Kylo gently laid the locket across your chest and clasped it behind you. “Beautiful, just like you.” He said, taking a moment to run his fingers down the locket. You were mesmerized by how gentle he was, and was so torn when he turned around yet again and told you to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t I just stay here?” You asked, letting the blanket fall from your body as you crawled on your hands and knees toward him. “Can we have breakfast together? It can be like a date!” He turned, smiling at you again as he brought his hand up and rubbed your cheek. You realized a little too late that you were likely reaching too far. The two of you only had sex once, and you had told yourself over and over that, even though you felt like you were dreaming every day you were on his estate, this wasn’t a fairytale and Kylo Ren wouldn’t fall in love with you. You had only been here for a little over a week. Why would you think that he would suddenly want to take you on a date? You felt so silly, but if Kylo felt differently he didn’t make it well known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had my food sent to my office this morning,” He said, running his hands through his hair. There was moment of silence before he went still again, and with his next words you could almost see the sly grin upon his face in your head. “But there is something I’d like to eat before turning you loose.” He purred, turning and taking you by the cheeks. The two of you sat on your knees with your lips locked for just a moment before he pushed you down onto your back. You laughed at him, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight as he brought his mouth down to your neck, sloppily kissing and sucking his down the same section of skin he did the night before. It made you giggle, and you completely disregarded his statement about eating before letting you go. You thought the two of you were about to simply have sex again, but as his kisses went lower and lower you realized there was something different happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You taste so divine,” He moaned, bringing his head up for air and running his fingers over the marks he had left on you last night. You were in awe at how different they looked today. In the bright sunlight you could clearly see they were darkened and much bigger than they were last night, and it would seem Kylo planned on giving you even more. “If I tasted last night at the theater is even a fraction of what you really taste like, that I’d have to say that I would prefer to eat you for breakfast every morning.” You gasped as he lay his tongue flat under your breast and licked his way down to your navel, only just now understanding what he meant by wanting to eat something else before breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bent your knees as he slid off the bed, dragging his tongue along your pubic bone until he was staring at you from between your thighs. The interaction was far more erotic than you were expecting, not that you were expecting a whole lot. Just like what the two of you did last night, this was entirely new to you. Never would you have thought a man would be willing to use his mouth on you. Never.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You smell…” He started, pressing his cheek into the flesh of your thigh and taking an exaggerated sniff. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>So </span>
  </em>
  <span>good, Saint.” You could feel your cheeks burning as he placed a small kiss on your thigh, then stared at you with the same need you saw last night when you removed your panties for him. “May I?” He asked, raising a brow at you. His mouth was so close to your sex that you could feel his breath hot against it, and the feeling alone made you shiver for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said I had to go find Grace?” You asked. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have sex with him again, more so you didn’t want to get in trouble for being missing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you know what?” Kylo said, placing another kiss on your thigh. “Grace can wait another few minutes.” There was no time in between his last words and when his tongue made contact with your cunt. You didn’t even have time to prepare yourself before you were experiencing the warmth and comfort of his mouth at the opposite end of your body, and the sensation made your breath stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way he worked his tongue over you so slow and sensually. The way his lips would wrap around your clit, would pull at your skin. The way his tongue would go in deep, stimulating you to the point where you were giving him your second shared orgasm. Again, your world was broadened so beautifully by Kylo during those few moments when you were spilling yourself for him. Kylo helped you discover a new part of yourself last night and this morning, and, truth be told, you never wanted it to end. It was bliss. Shaking, moaning, crying, and nearly screaming his name was bliss. Holding your knee on his shoulder while he fucked you for the second time in twelve hours was bliss. This time he was standing so tall over you, his pants around his ankles and you could fully appreciate his body for everything it had to offer you. You lay flat on your back as he grunted and grumbled above you, his posture screaming power and pleasure. You couldn’t look away as he pulled out of you, jerking himself above your exposed belly until he had let go as well. With his warm seed well spent on your skin you smiled at him, basking in the glow that was his own bliss and knowing </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>were the reason why he came. You loved it. You thought you could do this every night if he really wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, go on,” He said, returning to your side with the same wet towel from the previous night. “Get yourself dressed and go alleviate Grace’s fears. That woman is scary when she gets too worried.” You could tell his erection was already beginning to fade even though he had already pulled his sweat pants back up, and part of you was disappointed. You had no idea what it was like for men, but you were already wishing for a second round. This romp didn’t leave you so tired, and that was probably because you had gotten a full night of sleep. He made you feel so good, and even though you thought you should be feeling selfish you weren’t. You wanted him again, and you had to hope that you’d have him at least once more before you leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo sipped his tea from the side of the bed as he watched you dress in the same clothing you had worn last night. He apologized for essentially forcing you to wear your dirty clothing, but really you didn’t mind. It wouldn’t be the first time you had to rewear an outfit. At least this one wasn’t days old like what you had to do in the Orphanage. Your dress was kind of wrinkly from being on the floor all night long, but it didn’t matter. All you had to do was make a mad dash to your room where you could change, then flag someone down to take you to Grace. Your plan seemed so simple that you weren’t worried at all. The only thing you were worried about was having to walk away from Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will I see you again tonight?” You asked as Kylo escorted you to the door. He chuckled at you, reaching an arm around your back and pulling you close to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you can be a good girl and not tell anyone about what we have, then we will see.” He kissed you again, and you made sure to let your hands wander up and down his chest one more time before having to leave for good. “Thank you, Saint.” He whispered before opening the door for you. You whispered a quiet goodbye to him and reluctantly stepped out into the hallway. The door closed and you were all alone, wanting for more of everything he had given you over the last 12 hours. You could dream, right? There was nothing wrong with lusting after him when he had finally taken you to bed. A huge grin adorned your face as you turned from his door and started to head toward your room. You needed him. You needed to see him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As you went over every interaction you had that morning quietly to yourself, you realized there was something strange about the atmosphere. The estate was strangely quiet. Especially at this hour, there was always something to be heard. Whether it was someone talking, laughing, walking, or sounds coming from the laundry room or the kitchen, there was always noise all around you when you roamed the halls. But not now. Now all you could hear was your own footsteps across the linoleum floor. Your brows furrowed, but you tried not to pay too much attention to it. Instead you pressed forward, determined to make it to your room without being spotted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You made it to the staircase, but only made it in front of the piano before you stopped cold in your tracks. Down in the foyer stood every maid and worker on the estate, and they were spilling out of Kylo’s office. You leaned over the railing, looking confused as you tried to get a closer look at what was going on. Their backs were all toward you, and they weren’t paying attention to you at all. Your mind desperately tried to come up with an excuse as to what was going on, but your thinking was cut short when one of the sous chefs glanced at you from over his shoulder. He did a double take, then tapped another maid on the shoulder and pointed at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There she is!” He said, and everyone turned and looked at you. All at once their faces turned from concerned to relieved at once. “Ms. Grace, Saint is right here at the top of the steps!” He said, then you watched as the crowd began to part. Moments later Grace stumbled from between everyone, pulling Kylo’s black phone alongside her. She locked eyes with you, and just as everyone else you watched as she closed her eyes and let out a stressed puff of air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, nevermind, nevermind,” She said, a smile breaking out over her face as she looked away from you. “We found her. She was, she, I don’t know. She’s here.” Grace chuckled into the phone, thanking the person on the other line and then handing the phone to the sous chef that had discovered you. “Sebastian, take this back into the office place.” She said with a desperate whine in her voice. Then you watched from the top of the steps as she ran as fast as her high heels would allow up to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint! Where have you been?” She cried as she ran right up to you, taking your cheeks in her hands. You could feel her shaking as she held you, could tell by the cracking of her voice that your absence had worried her so much. Her hands went from your cheeks down to your dress, where she stretched out the wrinkled fabric and looked down at it completely stunned. “Oh my, did you sleep in this dress? Dear, come. Let’s get you to your room where you can have a shower and get some clean clothes. I’ll have the maids clean this outfit up.” She fussed, but you could only stare at her in awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For one moment, life on the estate was put on hold. The cooking stopped, the laundry stopped, the cleaning and the gardening all stopped. The staff all gathered together to search for you. For one second, the world came to a halt because you had gone missing. Grace even called the police to help find you, something Hanagan had never done, not unless her money she got from you was running out. You mattered to each and every person that worked on the estate, because they were worried they had lost you. You were important. You were their saint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only thing that felt right to do was to collapse into Grace’s arms, to throw your arms around her and cherish her. She wrapped her arms back around you and set her chin in your hair, and you could have sworn you heard her sniffling. You listened as her heart beat in your ear, as her breaths became short and shallow and you came to terms with something you probably should have known a long time ago. Grace was the closest thing to a mother you would probably ever have in your lifetime. You now had a new reason to dread leaving the estate at the end of the month. Because what would you do without the love and affection both Kylo and Grace bestowed upon you every day. Just the thought sent tears spilling own your cheeks and onto her red dress. You realized that you needed these people, realized that you had fallen into this deal far too deep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And you had no idea how you’d cope without them.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warning: Physical altercations. Fists fights. Whatever you want to call it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It seemed like you grew far too comfortable with your new role as Kylo Ren’s secret lover, hiding your newfound job role from everyone on the estate. Night after night you’d bid everyone goodnight, you’d skip happily to your bedroom where you’d wait for everything to quiet down, then you’d sneak through the hallways in your pajamas over to Kylo’s room where he’d make love to you well into the morning. Sometimes he’d send you back to your room, usually around two or three in the morning, and you’d sleep until the early afternoon. Other times you’d stay with him all night long, cuddling up with him until you'd fall asleep in his embrace. After the incident where the police were called because you disappeared you were sure to bring extra day clothes with you. Kylo would let you shower in his shower and brush your teeth with his toothbrush the next morning, and he’d sent you off to breakfast with a kiss and a promise to see you the next night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a week and a half, this was your routine: Wake in his bed, run off to breakfast and socialize with the staff for the rest of the day, pretend to go to sleep, then sneack back into his bedroom. Every so often Kylo would go out to his offices to work during the day, and you’d miss him dearly. Without him around during the day there’d be no chance of the spontaneous sex during the day you enjoyed so much happening. The kind of sex that took place in his office with the door locked and you bent over his desk. Or the kind of sex that you had in the furthest, quietest corner of the library, laid out on the floor in between the bookshelves that towered over you. There was also the obscure sex the two of you had in the dead of night: on the dining room table, on the pool tables in the basements, and by far your favorite was under some of the plants in the greenhouse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under the pale moonlight Kylo had both of your legs over his shoulders and his face buried deep between your legs. He sat you at the same bench the two of you had your first kiss on, and had you bursting as you repressed your moans for him. The risk was so great, and it fed into your pleasure so greatly. To know that anyone, Grace, Allison, Eli, or another maid, could walk in on the two of you there in the greenhouse having sex drove you insane, and it was only after you had cum twice on his tongue that he stood to his full height, freed his throbbing cock and positioned himself between your legs. It was an awkward position, having to hold onto the sides of the bench while holding your hips up for him as well, but you made it work. Kylo held onto you, feeling you just as you liked him to until he switched his hand to behind your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at how well I fit in you.” He moaned, holding your head up so that you could see in between the two of you. You had never thought to see what it looked like when he fucked you, mostly because you were too busy staring at him or closing your eyes and focusing on your impending orgasm. But tonight, he wanted you to see the act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched as his cock sunk in and out of you, stretching your walls with every thrust. It really was a sight to behold, to see all of his length disappear inside of you over and over. He was so long and so thick, and it was hard to believe you could take him all. But your eyes didn’t lie to you. You were taking him, welcoming him into you, and your body sang for him in response. You focused on how he felt inside of you, on your walls that squeezed him so tight, at his head that nearly reached the end of your vagina, and on how warm and safe he made you feel. Putting an image to the feeling fueled your fire, and a moan found its way out of your throat loud and clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quiet, princess,” He warned, running the fingers on his other hand across your lips and shushing you. “Draw too much attention, and our fun will be over forever.” He whispered, and you began to quake there beneath him. Just the thought of someone walking in on you, while it wouldn’t be good per se, turned you on so much. Someone seeing you and Kylo wrapped up in each other’s arms with his cock so deep inside of you would be fantastic, and before you could take the thought any further you were cumming on him for the countless time since you lost your virginity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo came shortly after you, pulling out as he always did and stepping away from you. Your legs snapped shut as you watched him grip his cock, stroking himself until he was shooting his seed onto the ground in front of you. You sat up, placing your feet on the ground just out of the range of his sperm. You could only watch as his flow slowed down to just a short ooze, and it all came to an end. The two of you just sat there panting, staring down at the mess that had come to exist between you. Kylo was the one to break the silence first, moving his foot to spread his sperm away across the concrete before tucking himself back into his pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There,” He breathed. “Now no one will ever know.” You smiled, staring down at fading white streak and placing your foot on it. You drove it into the concrete even more, only standing when you were finally satisfied with how little was left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll dry by morning.” You said confidently, reaching up and wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him one more time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I walk you to your room?” He offered, and you obliged him, taking his hand in yours and strutting happily along with him. Holding his hand was the most euphoric thing ever, and something you wished you could do forever. Honestly, it was the best part about being up so late. Being able to roam to different parts of the estate with your hand in his, leaning against his strong arm and just listening to what he had to say to you. It was worth waking up late and having to eat breakfast by yourself. Your alone time with Kylo was worth more than gold, and you could have sworn your life was perfect when you were with him. Everything as going just fin, until the week before Christmas when your routine was interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clock had just struck midnight when you snuck out of your room and tiptoed quietly down to Kylo’s. The previous night you had ridden him and decided that it was your favorite position, and you were excited to try it again. You absentmindedly stepped out of the resident halls and out into the foyer, past the piano when the sound of a door closing behind you startled you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stopped where you were and immediately turned around, thinking you had just enough time to dash down the steps in case you were caught. Better to be caught going down the steps than straight ahead, when the only thing straight ahead was your lover’s room. There was no one down the hall, so you booked it to the stairs with the made up excuse of needing a glass of apple juice from the kitchen before bed in your mind. This was a first. You had never been caught sneaking around the mansion before and, honestly, you were surprised that this was the first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had stepped down two steps before you heard footsteps coming toward you, and your heart immediately sank.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you!” You heard a woman shout from behind you, and when you turned around you saw a woman charging at you. You stared at her, trying to think of who she was. You had never seen her before. You thought you had an idea as to who everyone was around the estate, but you were certain you had never seen this woman before. She was blonde, had short hair and was so angry looking as she stomped over to you. Part of you was confused, and the other part was scared. Why would a total stranger be coming at you so angry about something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” You said, climbing back up to the top of the stairs. “I was just going to get some apple--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re the orphan, huh?” She said, staring at you with the most hatred you had ever seen in her eyes. Even Miss Hanagan had never looked this angry at you, and if anyone would have seen her they would have thought you had stolen her husband from her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh yes. I’m--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint. I know. Everyone knows.” She snarled, smiling skeptically at you. For the first time since you arrived, someone was being rude to you and you had no idea why. She crossed her arms, hiding the front of her light pink pajama shirt from you. “The orphan that Kylo Ren saved from poverty, right? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” She demanded, jumping in your face. You gasped as you took a step back away from her, taking a look behind you at Kylo’s hall and wondering if it would be worth it to shout for him. She looked like she wanted to fight you, and you didn’t want to have to get ugly in Kylo Ren’s mansion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before you could even respond to her comment she was falling away from you, sniffing and rubbing her face up and down as if she was trying to stop herself from crying. “Well I bet you feel special, huh? Does he make you feel special? Your knight in shining armor?” She asked, stumbling on her words. You furrowed your brow, studying her and taking another step back when you realized she was drunk. Drunk and deciding to pick a bone with you, for some odd reason. You stared at her, not knowing what you should or shouldn't do with this drunken stranger. You didn't even know if she was worth your time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I--I don’t know what--” You started to say, but was cut off yet again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t play stupid with me, little orphan Annie. What with the way you prance around here looking all moon-eyed at him. Does he call you his princess? He calls </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>his princess. He doesn’t love you, you whore. He loves </span>
  <em>
    <span>me!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She all but shouted at you, and you could have sworn you felt a pit open up in your stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not that you expected Kylo to love you, and it’s not that you expected him not to move on and love someone else after you left. You couldn’t wrap your head around what she was saying to you, couldn’t believe that Kylo would make you out to be a mistress; the second woman. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>other </span>
  </em>
  <span>woman. You stared at her as she writhed and roared at you, switching from getting into your face to backing away and you truly didn’t know how to react. “I’ve been around for way longer than you have, and I’ll be around a lot longer than you in the future. Don’t think that anything you have is special!” This time she charged at you, placing her index finger on your chest and pushing you backward. That’s when you got angry. That’s when you lost all control and decided you weren’t going to be bossed around by a drunk lady. Contemplation about whether or not she was telling the truth could come later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your problem?” You asked, shoving her away from you. You watched as she stumbled away from you before getting her footing and crossing back over to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, you think you have him but you don’t. You think he loves you, but he don’t! You’ll never, ever take him away from me!” She said, now rushing at full force toward you. You turned around, opened your mouth to scream for Kylo but had the wind knocked out of you when she tackled you to the ground. You were squished between the marble flooring and her, her bodyweight crushing you like a rag doll. Your chest had no room to expand, and you truly thought you were going to die there on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fucking whore. You think you get everything when you’re vacationing on the estate for a month. Greedy, entitled, little kid!” She said, grasping your hair and pulling your head up. The vertebrae in your neck popped a few times, and in a split second you had found your will to fight back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo!” You shouted as loud as you could, but you got no answer before she reached around and punched you square in the center of your face. At that point, you went from quiet, reserved, and thankful Saint to the Saint that took no shit from anybody. This wouldn’t be your first fist fight you had with another girl, and you knew how to handle your own. With a growl you twisted your body, wrapping your legs around her and used all of your might to turn both you and her right side up. It was difficult with her screaming in your ear and pulling your hair, but you managed to pin her to the floor just as she did you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You placed your hands upon her neck and pushed, choking her just enough to stun her until someone could come help you, but it would seem she had the same idea. As you straddled her both of her hands came up around your neck as well, and before she had the opportunity to choke you you cried out for help. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get her off of me!” You screamed as loud as you could, desperately looking down Kylo’s hall hoping to see him running to help you. When she didn’t press her thumbs into your throat you took another breath to scream even louder, but before you could you felt something fall away from your neck. The quiet click that came from below you silenced you, and when you looked down you were horrified to see your most prized possession falling in pieces below you. Your lip quivered as blood from your nose fell from you and seeped into her sleeping shirt, but the only thing you could focus on was the small gold chains that fell onto her. She stared at you with an evil smile, your now broken locket in her hand. Your entire world came to a standstill as the realization set in: she had ruined the one thing you held near and dear. The one thing that would give you hope once you left the estate. It now sat in pieces there on her body, and there was no way you were going to let her get away with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to fucking kill you!” You screamed, pulling your body back and leaning both you and her to your feet. With an animalistic howl you grabbed her by her throat and pushed her toward the piano, managing to push her down and slide her face across the keys for a few seconds, causing the once silent foyer to light up with the lowest musical notes, before she was able to gain her footing back and stand up, but even then you had the high ground. She swung at you but you dodged her fists, managed to once again push her toward the steps where you’d forever make her regret ever laying a hand on you. With your arm wrapped tightly around her body you inched ever so slowly, and when you finally got to the edge of the stairs, ready to push her off and continue your enraged tirade, you did it without any hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her scream was so satisfying, the horrified look of terror that she flashed as she fell backward was so satisfying. What was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>satisfying was the sound of someone calling your name from your left. There was only one person it could have been, but before you could even turn your head you were plunging forward along with the girl you had just fought. It felt as if it were happening in slow motion. First she gripped the front of your nightgown, then you went tumbling forward. Your bodies collided in midair, and before you knew it the two of you went rolling down the stairs with one another, your bodies ramming unapologetically into each other into you finally came to a halt in the foyer, and you took your opportunity to pin her down once again as soon as you got it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give it back you fucking cow!” You screamed, tears brimming in your eyes and beginning to mix with the blood that still poured from your nose. You slapped her as hard as you could, thoroughly enjoying the way her head reeled to the right when you did. “Give me back my--” You continued to demand until a pair of arms were wrapping around your waist and pulling you off of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint!” Kylo cried, pulling you to your feet and pushing you away from her. Your blood was pumping so rapidly through your body, was still running warm over your now split lip but you hardly cared that he was here now. That bitch still had your locket, and you were determined to get it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo she has my locket!” You cried, pointing at her as she let herself up off the floor. You walked up behind him, fully ready to jump on her again but Kylo held his arm out to stop you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cameron!” He bellowed, his words echoing off the walls of the foyer. “What the hell are you doing here?” His words were a little too familiar for you. You didn’t know her, but he knew her, and for a split second you were heartbroken to think that everything she had said to you was true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh Kylo, baby, that girl attacked me!” She said, rushing up to him. You stepped back as she held her arms open to him, watching the entire thing unfold and fully expecting to have your heart broken. You could see it now. This entire time him and this girl were a couple while Kylo was having you on the side. She was going to run into his arms and cry to him about what you did to her. Kylo would then kick you out of his home two weeks early, and you’d have no help from him whatsoever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked so quickly over to you, and just when you were about to turn away you witnessed something quite extraordinary. Kylo shoved her away from the two of you, causing her to stumble back out into the center of the foyer. A hurt look burned onto her face as she stared up at Kylo just as confused as you were. At that point, you really didn’t know what to think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard what I said, Cameron,” Kylo roared so loudly that you flinched there behind him, took a look to the steps thinking it would be safer for you to make a run for it and were horrified to see that you had gathered an audience. As if you had been fighting for your life in a colosseum, many of the maids and other workers gawked down at you in their pajamas, roused from their slumber by all the noise you had been making. “Grace told you that you had to be gone by the end of the working day. Why are you still here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby, I stayed just for you!” She whined, trying her luck again in running into his arms but he only shoved her away again. “Please, I miss you. Give me just one more chance, Kylo. Why would you want this orphan kid instead of me?” She said, beginning to sob. You watched from behind as Kylo sighed, shook his head before turning toward the steps and pointing to the maid Olivia who sat at the very front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Liv, call the police and let them know there is an intruder on the property.” He said, to which Cameron gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Kylo! You can’t, you can’t do this to me! I love you!” She cried, but Kylo was having none of it. He turned toward you, pushed you back away from Cameron and out of the eyes of everyone else. All of his attention cast on you, his eyes never left yours until he removed his shirt and immediately placed it under your nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” He asked in the utmost serious tone, and that’s when you broke down into the ugliest of sobs. Everything had finally caught up to you, the beating, the heartbreak, your injuries and so on, and when you were here in the shadows here alone with the man that made you feel so safe, you felt vulnerable enough to cry in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She took my locket!” You sobbed, taking his white shirt from him and doing your best to clean the blood and tears from your face. “I, I was just trying to come see you, and then--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Liv, tell them the intruder has assaulted someone and the police need to be here as soon as possible. Alert Grace as well.” Kylo said, taking you protectively by the arm and pulling you just a few feet further to his office. You heard him unlock it and he pulled you even further, flipping on the lights and dragging you to the couch and sitting you down. The door closed behind the two of you and you were all alone, free to let loose and cry as loudly as you wanted to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My locket!” You wailed, bringing his shirt up to your face to hide yourself from him as you lost all control of your emotions. “I want my locket back!” You couldn’t do anything else but beg for your locket back, and Kylo responded in the only way he knew would calm you down. Gently he lowered your hands from in front of your face and lightly placed his lips against yours, shushing you almost instantly putting you at ease. Your eyes shut and you focused on him, on his body so close to your and the softness of his lips. You thought for sure his heart was beating just as fast as yours was, and the only thing that told you was he was afraid. Afraid of Cameron, afraid of you being hurt. Afraid of losing you, perhaps. You really didn’t know, and it really didn’t matter. For a moment, the chaos stopped and it was just you and him, and when he pulled away from you and stood back up you felt empty and alone once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stay right here, don’t move,” He warned, stepping away from you and looking at him from over his shoulder. “Don’t answer this door for anyone, I’ll come back and get you when it’s safe.” You nodded, noting that he was clearly on edge. He was out for revenge, out for blood in retaliation for yours that was spilled. He really was your hero, despite what that woman might have said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You finally got the bleeding to stop from your nose and from your lip, and what you had left to show for it was Kylo’s white cotton shirt. It was blood, tear, and sweat stained, and within five minutes of you constantly dabbing your tears away his scent had been lost from the garment. It was the one thing you were holding near and dear to you, the one thing you physically had of his to keep you grounded and to know that Kylo would make everything okay again. You shut your eyes, wondering how long this had taken from start to finish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were so tired, having spent all your energy brawling instead of having sex like every other night you were now ready to just go to sleep. It felt like minutes when you heard Grace rushing toward the door, shrieking about how she knew she told Cameron to leave at 5 pm when the working day was over, and she wanted to see you to make sure you were okay. You sat up, expecting the door to open any moment but it never did. You thought that you needed a hug from Grace, but you realized that Kylo had given you one rule: to stay put and not open the door for anyone. If there was one thing you needed tonight before going back to bed, it was more love from Kylo, and you wouldn’t be getting any more love from him if you disobeyed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cameron’s screams faded as time went on. You looked at the large grandfather clock that sat on the opposite wall from you and saw that it was going on 1:30 AM, meaning this had all been going on for an hour and a half. You pressed the heels of your hand into your eyes and repressed the tears. You were tired. You wanted Kylo and you wanted to go to sleep. You rolled over onto your side and shut your eyes, thinking you could catch a small nap before all this was over. No more than thirty seconds later you heard the door open, and when you opened your eyes you were elated to see Kylo walking slowly over to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was once again dressed in a regular white shirt with grey sweatpants, what he normally wore to bed, as well as a harsh scowl. It would seem everything that went down had exhausted him out too. You sat up, wanting to ask him what was happening but ended up stopping shy when you saw that he had both ends of your locket in his hand. The brightest smile stretched over your face as he finally closed the gap between the two of you and squat down in front of the couch, taking the necklace in one of his hands and holding it out to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few of the links broke on the chain when she tore it from your neck,” He explained as he let the locket fall into both of your hands. “It’s easily fixable. We can always get you a new chain.” He said, his voice low and quiet as if he were hiding. The door was shut and you were sure no one would be able to hear you, but you complied with his unspoken rule anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank you so much Kylo!” You said, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, are you hurt? Other than your nose and your lip there?” He asked, leaving a small kiss on your cheek when he was finished speaking. Other than a few bruises that were beginning to rise in your skin, you had no injuries that you could speak for. You were really bent out of shape and broken, but you knew you’d make a full recovery. You had fallen out of a three story window when you were younger and snapped your leg in two and did just fine; you knew you’d make it out alive here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I’m okay.” You said, leaning back and smiling at him. You could feel your locket warming in your hand and was more than thankful to have it back, but the kiss he gave you stirred all sorts of conflicting feelings inside of you. Why was he kissing you when someone who claimed to be his lover was here begging for his affection? You had tried not to think about it when you were alone, but with him here taking care of you once again you found it hard to concentrate on anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a medic here who is going to check you out, then you can head off to your bed, alright?” He asked, and even though it sounded like the best plan to you, you couldn’t help but to ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She, she told me you call her princess too,” You said, your smile fading off of your face and tears replacing it. “Is that true? Is, is there someone else?” You asked, begging Kylo for a sincere answer. The feeling of jealousy began rearing its ugly head in your mind once again. You didn’t think you could be with Kylo if there was another woman involved. Again, you confused yourself. You and Kylo were never an established couple. He didn’t love you, and Cameron did have a point when she said you wouldn’t be around forever. You shook there as tears poured down your cheeks, your heart breaking more and more with every passing second as you imagined Kylo in bed with her. You wanted him all to yourself. You needed to hear it from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Saint,” Kylo cooed, placing another kiss on your forehead and placing his hand on the back of your neck. “Baby, no. Not at all.” He moaned as you cried. It was her word against his, and even though you trusted Kylo more than Cameron, you couldn’t help but to wonder if he was lying to you. “She’s, she’s no one.” He breathed. “She’s no one, and I’ve fired her. You’ll never see her ever again.” You nodded your head there against his, trying your best to suck up your tears. His hand moved from your neck to your face where he wiped a tear off of your cheek with his thumb, a welcome gesture at the moment that you needed so desperately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve had quite a night, head on up to bed and I’ll explain everything in the morning.” He said, and you leaned your hand into his palm and nodded. You trusted him. You had no other choice but to take him for his word. He was your protector, your savior, your knight in shining armor now that Cameron tried to prove otherwise. Even if it were just for the next week and a half, you needed Kylo, and you had to show your appreciation by trusting him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The walk back to your room was hazy as your night maid and medic stayed close behind you. You felt sick to your stomach the entire way there, along with the other aches and pains you suffered during your brawl with Cameron, the woman who claimed to be a past/current lover of Kylo’s. You wanted so badly to trust him when he said she was no one, but a part of you kept fearing the worst. Why wouldn’t he explain it to you then? The two of you were alone, it wasn’t as if she would have been able to hear you. Why would Kylo want to keep it a secret until morning?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was in the laundry room gathering up the napkins for the table when I heard the piano go off. When I came rushing down the hall I saw Cameron on top of her!” Your maid, Pricilla, explained to the medic. The two of them laughed, but you only stared numbly ahead of you. Clearly they were only trying to make you feel better, because you were the one on top of Cameron, not the other way around. You truly weren’t in the mood for laughing, and instead just wanted to be alone. But Kylo was insistent that someone take care of you and make sure you were okay after witnessing you take a fall down the stairs. You had to be thankful for his caring nature. Hanagan never batted an eye when you and the other girls would get into fistfights, and she certainly never cared to take you to the doctor afterword.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just wait until Allison hears about this in the morning,” Pricilla said as the medic pressed a cold pack to your forehead. The first thing the medic noted was a bump being raised on the right half of your forehead, likely from your fall down the stairs. “This isn’t the first time Cameron put her hands on someone she thought was sleeping with ‘her’ man.” You flashed your eyes up to her as she dug through your closet for a clean nightgown. That sounded awful, to know that you weren’t the first to catch her wrath and yet she still had access to the property. You also found it quite intriguing the way Priscilla stressed the phrase ‘her man,’ as if she was mocking her. You wanted to know more, and lucky for you, you didn’t have to wait long until you got more information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This girl sounds like a piece of work.” The medic said before asking you to hold the ice pack to your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah. She slapped Allison over lunch one day after she came into the room telling everyone she had to lay across Mr. Ren’s bed to change his bedsheets, telling her Kylo was her boyfriend and she was never allowed to go into his room ever again.” Your lips parted as a silent gasp escaped your throat. It distressed you so much to hear of your friend Allison being hurt like that over nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did that hurt, baby?” The medic asked as she squeezed your knee. You momentarily forgot that she was examining you and cut your eyes down at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no. That just surprised me,” You said, trying to find the words to express yourself. Pricilla returned with a clean nightgown and underwear for you, laying them down on the bed next to you. “Why didn’t she get kicked out then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, she did. Allison was the last person she assaulted before you. The first was Grace.” She explained, and you felt your heart stop cold in your chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace?” You asked as the medic stretched one of your arms out in front of you. “She hit Grace too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pricilla laughed at you, stepping away from the bed and going to retrieve one of the small paper cups you used to rinse with mouthwash every morning and every night. “Not exactly. More like she mouthed off to her when Grace was first hired as Kylo’s secretary. Grace was having none of it and put her in her place rather quickly. She never bothered anyone but Allison after that. Once Cameron assaulted her she was moved to be his secretary in one of his offices in the city, and we only ever saw her once a year, if that. None of us even knew she was in the building today, it’s really creepy.” You furrowed your brows at her, at her intricate tale of this crazed woman. Part of you wondered how she was able to sneak into the hope and attack you when she had a history of doing so, and another part of you wondered if there was more than met the eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if Cameron knew about you and Kylo? The two of you had been having sex for a week, and who’s to say both Grace and Allison weren’t doing the same thing. Blood ran to your cheeks at the thought, and again those awful feelings of jealously coursed through your veins. There was one thing you had to trust Kylo on, and that was when he said there was no one else. If anything, the thought scared you the most. What if she knew and was about to blow the whistle to everyone on the estate? What would happen to you? What would happen to Kylo? What would happen if everyone knew the orphan guest and the owner of the estate were sleeping together? You crossed your ankles and looked down into your lap. Certainly nothing good would come of that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, the good news is you have no broken bones, no dislocations or anything like that. Let me just get some spray for your lip there and I’ll have Pricilla get you some pain medication. Sound good?” The medic asked you, and you nodded your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Already on it!” Pricilla said cheerfully, hurrying out of the room and closing the door behind her. The medic sprayed your bottom lip, and you grimaced as it almost immediately made you sting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be just fine, kid,” The medic said, placing her hand upon your knee and shaking you back into reality. Her smile reassured you, brought you a crumb of calm as she stood and reached for her bag on the bed next to you. “Go ahead and get out of those bloody pajamas and get into bed. If you think anything else is wrong have someone call for us. We’ll get someone out right away, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” You whispered back, still unable to bring yourself to smile at her as she left. The door shut quietly, and you were alone yet again. Alone with your broken spirit and your aching body. Alone with your detrimental thoughts. Alone with your bleeding need for Kylo that you knew would not be satisfied tonight. You wanted him. You wanted his body and you wanted him to hold you, to call you his princess and to tell you everything was going to be fine. But after everything that happened tonight, you didn’t think he’d want to be seen with you for a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too tired to take a shower, you stood in front of your sink running a wash cloth over your hair, face, and neck. You stared at the reflection in the mirror as you tried to scrub your woes away, wondering who was staring back. How had you gone from an unloved, untamed, little orphan girl to who stood before you tonight? Someone with such a high status in the estate. Someone that everyone enjoyed being around, someone who people envied, someone that was well cared for and loved by many. Someone that someone wanted to take to bed every night. You felt tears beginning to well in your eyes as you touched the spot where your collar bones met, where your locket normally would hang. Had you always been this person? Had this always been Saint, and it just took the right circumstances and people to bring her out of you? You smiled, loving this new version of yourself, thinking Kylo had given you the best gift of all, even if it meant you had to take a beating for it: self confidence. And that was something you could keep all to yourself once your time on the estate was up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You knew your personal time with Kylo would not be coming to an end until the day you walked away for good, and even that was questionable. He promised you a job within his company somewhere, so you knew the two of you would be together for a while. As you lay in bed you tried to focus on the positives. The crazy woman that attacked you and two of your close friends in the past was gone, and there would be nothing that would come between you and Kylo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s all that mattered</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were committed to him, and you had to assume he was committed to you, what with the way he took care of you during and after your brawl with Cameron. Surely, you must mean something to him. You trusted him, and you trusted that what he told you was true. In the morning you’d find out what was going on, and you wouldn’t have to stress about it any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You closed your eyes, allowed yourself to drift to sleep even though your body was still aching. The medication hadn’t kicked in and your muscles were beginning to grow sore just as you were falling asleep. You were restless, tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable position. Images of Cameron charging at you angrily flooded your mind, and every time you began to finally fall asleep you would see her coming at you with her hands up. It distressed you, especially when you felt your bed moving as if there was someone climbing into it next to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your eyes flew open and you gasped, instinctively throwing your arms out in front of you to push this person away. You thought for sure it was Cameron, coming back in order to finally kill you and get you out of her way. You opened your mouth to scream when a hand stopped you, pressing firmly over your lips and nose while another came to rest on your cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sssh.” They said, and when you finally realized that you weren’t dreaming, that you were now 100 percent awake and alert, you got to see them for who they really were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just me, it’s Kylo.” He whispered, and you were almost immediately put at ease. His hands fell from your head as yours went up to his, and you just held him there and stared at him. You were incredibly relieved to see him, to feel him and hear him. You didn’t expect him to come see you tonight, yet here he was to calm your nerves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What time is it?” You asked him, wanting to roll over and look at your small clock to see, but Kylo’s arms caught you again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knows,” He said with a heavy sigh, and it was then you realized that Kylo looked broken. The saddest look stared back at you, complete with glassy eyes you could just barely see from the moonlight that shined into your room and a discouraging frown. It would seem he was just as upset and restless as you were, and that he needed you just as you needed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you come to fuck--” You asked, worried that what he was seeking out was sex. You were far too tired for that, and being awake once again brought light to the fact that you were still sore. There was no way you could take him tonight, and you could only hope he would respect that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Kylo cut you off fairly quickly. “I was just thinking about you, wanted to see you. Make sure you’re okay.” He cuddled up close to you, bringing his arms around your head and pulling you to rest on his chest. You smiled at his protectiveness, and his willingness to please you. He was so soft and so cuddly, and you couldn’t stop yourself from draping your hand over his torso. Your body was set ablaze when you found he was shirtless, and the skin to skin contact you had was exactly what you needed to relax. You sighed as he embraced you, listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as it hammered wildly beneath you. It would seem he wasn’t as relaxed as you were, and you found out why only moments later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I almost lost you tonight,” He said, and you could have sworn you felt him twitch there below you. “She could have killed you. Snapped your neck as she pulled you down the stairs. Cameron. That </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitch.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He took another breath, and you heard the telltale whine in his chest. He was beginning to cry, and that took you completely off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo?” You asked, looking up to him but he kept your head on his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was a girlfriend in high school. I hired her out of pity because she was homeless and she’s done nothing but make my life hell ever since then.”  You felt your mood beginning to tank as he spoke about her. So, she was important to him at one point, but it didn’t sound like it anymore. “I couldn’t bring myself to fire her after she assaulted one of my employees after another, even after I moved her to one of my offices she still found her way into my home and overstayed her welcome. All to hurt you and try to get back to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think she knew about us?” You asked, feeling your own fear and anxiety once again resurfacing about the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No one knows. Not to my knowledge.” He spoke quickly, clearly agitated at the thought. “But, it doesn’t even matter. Because I’ve fired her, and I’ve banned her from every one of my properties.” That was certainly good news, but there was a part of this that you couldn’t deny any longer. Sooner or later, Kylo was going to have to face the music when it came time for you to leave the estate. That would mean less time with him, less time for him to swoon and sway over you. The thought made even you nervous as you just didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t just Kylo, it was the maids, cooks, gardeners, and so on that you had come to know as your friends. It was living in the lap of luxury when you came from nothing, and it was the feeling of finally belonging somewhere. You didn’t want to leave, but you knew you had no choice and neither did Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, she was right,” You spoke up, focusing on the wall in front of you. “I haven’t been around for too long, and I won’t be around forever. Just until the end of the month.” Again, Ren sighed above you, trembled just a little as his hands began raking through your hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I have an office just outside of the city that I can put you to work in. We’ll still see each other.” He explained, but it still wasn’t good enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But unless you’re going to let me live inside of that office, or drive me there every day, or by me a house nearby or something…” You said, trying your best to keep the tears away. You couldn’t finish the sentence. You couldn’t speak leaving Kylo into existence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise that we can work something out, Saint.” He said, seemingly unable to hear the words either. “You mean so much more to me than you think. I just, I can’t let you go. Not after everything we’ve been through so far.” He said, and you only sat mesmerized there on his chest. You didn’t know what he was trying to say to you. Did he love you? Did he appreciate you more than anyone else? You were so conflicted, especially when it came to your feelings as well. You were incredibly fond of Kylo, you admired him, you appreciated everything he did for you, but did you love him? Could you love him? What if you did love him, but he didn’t love you back? You adjusted yourself in his arms, silently begging him for the answers you so desperately needed, but as expected you got no answers. Instead he twisted his fingers in your hair, lulling you to sleep with every passing second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can discuss it more in the morning. For now, rest. You need to rest.” He said, placing a small kiss on your hairline. The advice sounded as good as any. You did just go through something traumatic after all, and Kylo wasn’t helping by giving you even more to think about. In the end, what you needed was to sleep. You needed to be taken out of reality for just a few hours. Maybe, once you were fully rested, you could tackle these feelings again in the morning. For now, you took solace in Kylo’s company and his protective arms around you. You knew he’d never let anything hurt you, and that right here, right now, you were safe. You had a much easier time falling asleep there with him, and you came to the conclusion that you just needed him this entire time. Your protector, your provider, you just wanted to be with him for as long as you could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You woke the next morning alone, splayed out over your entire bed with the blanket hanging onto the floor. Just like your first morning on the estate you woke up still exhausted, even though your clock read 9 am just like it did every morning you woke up. Your tea and cookies would be coming soon, and you were sure you were going to be bombarded with questions from everyone the moment you stepped outside of your room, so the sooner you got a start on your day, the better. You flipped from your stomach to your side where you intended to sit yourself up, but some movement in the corner of your eye caught your attention. With a yawn you sat up and looked toward your door where you found it cracked open, with Kylo standing on the other side. You knew it was him because you could see his bare back and the same sweatpants he had gone to bed in, and it perked you up to know that he had stayed with you all night long. From his body movements you could tell he was talking to someone, but with the door only open a crack you couldn’t see who it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meet me at my office before you leave for the day,” He said, pushing the door open and beginning to step back in. “I’ll have a check ready for you. However much you want, it doesn’t matter.” Half of his body made it into the room before he stopped again, holding his other arm out and seemingly stopping someone or something from walking into the room. “That’s not necessary. She’ll get some downstairs for breakfast.” He said, turning away from the person outside and stepping fully into the room. He shut the door rather forcefully behind him, and when he turned and saw you were awake he stared at you, placed his hands upon his hips and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Saint.” He said, unable to hide the stress in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning.” You said, standing and stepping to him at the door. You threw your arms around his neck and he placed his on your hips, and he didn’t hesitate to return the kiss you had leaned up and placed on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was your medic,” He said, his eyed darting from your eyes to your lips. “Just wanted to check and make sure you were okay. That you had slept okay, and all of that.” He stared down at the ground, letting go of you in favor of running his hands through his hair. “I told them you were just fine, and that I’d get you downstairs for breakfast.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well that’s good,” You said, happy that he went out of his way to do that for you. He was the one who told you that you needed your rest after all. “They didn’t catch us in bed did they?” You asked, to which Kylo almost immediately shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, Saint. I was getting up and getting ready to leave when they knocked.” He said as he began to pace the floor, from your bed back to you. “But, but I need to remind you, that what goes on between us, has to stay between us, alright?” He whispered, walking back up to you and pointing a finger at your face. “No matter what people say to you, or ask you, you don’t tell them what we do.” You felt your once hopeful emotions morphing into fear. Perhaps he was just on edge because someone almost caught the two of you sleeping together, and if that were the case you probably should be too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will do, Kylo.” You said with a confident nod of your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, good Saint.” He said, once again giving off a heavy sigh. You didn’t know what to do other than stand there and stare at him. He looked everywhere but at you, and after a few seconds he looked back down at you, taking your cheeks in his hands and kissing you so deeply. Your hands came up around his neck again as you reciprocated the kiss, ravishing the feeling of him on you as you always did. You stood there making out for a few moments before he pulled away with a loud, wet pop, and when he finally released you he only had one thing to say:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we need a vacation.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote the 19th chapter so fast for some reason, so here's an extra chapter this week!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was only a few days later, just five days before Christmas, when you started to open up to people about what had happened to you. You told people that you were attacked by Cameron while you were getting up to get some water from the kitchen, and that Kylo took care of all of it. You told them you weren’t scared, and that it was nobody's fault but Cameron’s. You had to say these things because you found that people were babying you, sticking too close to you as if you were a frail baby bird waiting to be attacked again, and that was the last thing you wanted. Maybe when you were had first come to the mansion you would have enjoyed all the attention, but with someone constantly at your hip you had no time to sneak away with Kylo to plan your next few days together. When you finally got it together, you were so ecstatic to tell everyone what you were doing in the days before Christmas!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First, Kylo was going to take you to the Toys R Us in Manhattan, where you’d go on a shopping spree for your sisters back at the orphanage. He’d take you to buy them new clothes, toys, books, and anything else you wanted to get them. Then you’d spend the next few days with them, cherishing them one more time before you’d never be able to see them again. He had already cleared it with Hanagan, and to everyone’s surprise, she agreed to have you back for a few days. In the meantime, Kylo was going to spend a few days with his family just outside of the city. Once it came time for you to come back to the estate, Kylo would pick you up and the entire staff would welcome the two of you back with their annual Christmas eve party. Everyone you told seemed so delighted, so smitten with Kylo and his selfless deeds. It seemed like it would be the perfect way to spend your last few days with Kylo and his staff, if what you were telling them was the truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In reality, you and Kylo made plans to take four days to yourselves, to get away from all the commotion and sets of eyes that were no doubt going to be stuck on you and him after your attack. Although you weren’t comfortable with lying to the entire staff, you recognized why it would be a bad idea to spill the dirty details of what Kylo and you planned on doing while you were alone. Kylo explained it as he just wanted to talk to you in a place where you couldn’t be interrupted, but four whole days of just you and him meant lots and lots of </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal </span>
  </em>
  <span>time with him. You were so excited, and when the day finally came to pack your bags and head out with him, you didn’t think you could walk any faster behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His personal car was a black Cadillac, complete with fins on the rear and a freshly waxed exterior. The man who usually drove you around in the limo pulled the car around, loaded up your bag and Kylo's, and bid the two of you a good day while holding the front passenger door open for you. You smiled as you filed in the passenger seat next to Kylo, holding your breath as he closed the door and backed away from the car. For some reason, you weren’t expecting Kylo’s plan to work this well. You were committed to the secrecy, but was Kylo? How secretive could he have been booking a hotel room and arranging a time that both of you would be gone? You expected the driver to try and stop you, but as Kylo pulled his car around the statue in the center of his driveway, you finally let go of your breath. Now the two of you could be alone, free to express the passion you felt with one another as openly as you wanted. You smiled as he drove the car down the wooded pathway, truly excited for what he had planned for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First stop,” He spoke, reaching down and grabbing your hand at your knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The toy store?” You retorted jokingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The jeweler.” He corrected you. He lifted your hand and pressed your knuckles to his lips and kissed you, peering at you for just a moment from behind the wheel. You felt like the two of you deserved this. You deserved to have each other all to yourselves, even if it were only for a few days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The jeweler Kylo took you to was all the way on the northern side of the city, a good 45 minutes away. The store was on the ground floor of a highrise building, in a rather affluent part of the city. You shouldn't have been surprised, really, but you still couldn’t help but to feel out of place as Kylo held your hand and escorted you toward the glass windows. You thought, no matter how much time you spent with him, you’d never get used to the luxuries he could offer you. Not when you had come from nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this where you got my locket?” You asked him as the two of you walked across the street, avoiding the onlookers and oncoming cars as well as you could. You couldn’t believe that Kylo was so brazenly holding your hand in public when he could be recognized any second by any of these people. They recognized him when you were almost hit by a car, and you thought word would travel fast if they recognized him holding hands with you. You looked up at him as you stepped onto the sidewalk, but he hardly looked bothered. If he didn’t care, then neither should you. Again, you had to trust him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” He said, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “He’s a good man. Been making me jewelry for years now.” The two of you walked up to the large glass doors, and you stood there puzzled for a moment when Kylo didn’t pull them open. Your questions were answered when the door was pulled open from the inside by a man in a sharp tuxedo, and when Kylo led you inside the man greeted him by name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Javier,” Kylo nodded his head at him, then quickly pulled you up to the counter. As you were whenever you discovered a new aspect of Kylo’s life, you were starstruck. You had never worn jewelry, never even thought you’d end up in a jewelry store at any point in your life. You could only stare at the cabinets full of gold, silver, and stones in every size, shape, and color imaginable. The fine hairs on your arms stood in the center of it all, taking it all in. All of these jewels must have cost a fortune, so much so that you couldn’t even wrap your head around how much there actually was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, welcome back Mr. Ren!” Said another well dressed man. You looked up and saw him coming from the back room. Kylo instantly let go of your hand and sent it swinging alongside you. The man could only hold your attention for so long before you were peering down at the diamond encrusted necklaces and pendants down beneath you. “And who is this?” He asked as he stepped in front of you. You could see his reflection in the glass and looked up to see him smiling at you from above. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Saint, the guest we’re having at the estate for the month,” Kylo explained, taking ahold of your arm and pulling you into him. “The one I had the locket made for. In fact, that’s why we’re here.” He explained, reaching into his pocket and pulling out your beloved locket and laying it on the glass counter. He let go of you in order to lay it out in front of the man. “We had a little bit of an, accident, at the estate. Can you get her a new chain?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, dear. Links broken on both sides, and no clasp. Was it ripped?” The jeweler asked, picking it up from the counter and examining it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ripped from her neck by a jealous former girlfriend of mine. Sad, isn’t it?” Kylo explained, side eyeing you as you stepped away to look at the other pieces. You just couldn’t look away from all of the sparkly diamonds in the rings and pendants. As if the glass would shatter below you, you gently placed your fingertips upon the counter and got a closer look at some of the silver bracelets in the cabinet. In front of you sparkled a small bracelet lined with diamonds, called a Tennis Bracelet. You thought it was gorgeous, and was about to selfishly ask Kylo to buy it for you until you saw the price tag: thirty thousand dollars. Thirty grand for a thin, little bracelet. You swallowed hard, scooted further down to go look at something else. That was far too much money for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my, Mr. Ren,” The man said after a beat of silence. “I, I didn’t realize that this was your spouse! I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself properly.” You looked up and saw him hurrying over to you, your locket in one hand and his other hand held out to you to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, no, no, that’s not what I meant,” Kylo cut in, stopping him in his tracks. “The woman who attacked her mistook her for my partner. I’m afraid I’m still just as single as I always am.” Kylo looked up at you and you looked back at him, repressing a smile before casting your eyes down to the cabinet again. What you wouldn’t give to be Kylo’s other half, his girlfriend, the woman that he loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well then,” The man said, looking a tad bit uncomfortable. “Let me go see if I can find you a new chain, young lady.” He said, shying away from you and Kylo. He disappeared into the back room and it was once again quiet, save for the instrumental music playing in the background. Kylo wandered further away from you, looking down at a cabinet on the left side of the store while you went back to gawking at the jewelry around the tennis bracelet. 20, 30, 40, even 50 thousand dollar bracelets and necklaces sat among the one you wanted, and the numbers made your head spin. The fact that anyone could afford anything in this store was far beyond you. You decided to see what Kylo was up to instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever so slowly you walked around the store to him, taking in all of the jewelry along the way until you were at his side. He was silently observing an assortment of rings below him. They all generally looked the same, silver bands with large diamonds in the middle. The only thing that differed was the shape and size of the diamonds. You read the tags of one of them and saw that it retailed for 90 thousand dollars. So much money for one small ring. That was insane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you see anything you want?” Kylo asked you, placing his arm on your back and stepping you back toward where you had come from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kinda.” You whispered, letting a smile form over your lips as you led him over to the tennis bracelet you like. “30 thousand dollars is a lot of money, though.” You warned, letting him know he didn’t have to buy it for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“30 thousand dollars is nothing,” He exclaimed, pulling out a checkbook from his pocket and placing it on the counter. “Nothing is too expensive for my princess.” He whispered, smirking at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise I don’t need it,” You offered with a nervous grin. First an expensive locket, now an expensive bracelet? He was spoiling you, and if there was one thing you had never been in your lifetime, it was spoiled. “You’ve done enough for me, I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were cut off by the feeling of his hand on your butt, lightly spanking you to quiet you. You gasped, turned and looked over your shoulder at the doorman who was facing away from you. He hadn’t seen or heard a thing. You smiled up at Kylo playfully as he let his hand linger on you for another moment until the jeweler returned to the counter with your locket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we are, good as new!” He said, handing the locket to you. You accepted it with open arms, happy to have your most prized possession back in your hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much to fix it?” Kylo asked, opening his checkbook and taking a pen out of his opposite pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For you, nothing. On the house.” The man smiled back at him, flashing his eyes at you as you fumbled with locking the chain behind your neck on your own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, and we’ll take that tennis bracelet there too.” He said, starting to fill out parts of the check.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo, no!” You giggled, not really believing that he was about to drop thirty thousand dollars on you right then and there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead and fit her for it, please.” Kylo but in, and you realized you had lost this war before it really began. Kylo had one thing on his mind, and that was to make sure you had everything you wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As you were fitted for your brand new bracelet Kylo wrote out his check. Hearing just under 32 thousand dollars as the total made you cringe, but you forced yourself to be thankful. The bracelet was beautiful, and you were his princess after all. So what if he splurged on you just this one time? It would just become a treasure you’d hold near and dear to your heart for the rest of your life; just like your locket. By the time everything was said and done, when the doorman was letting you out into the morning air again, you felt so loved and cared for. You took a hold of his hand and held it tight as you crossed the street to his Cadallic, admiring how your bracelet sparkled in the sunlight. Kylo was such a great man, and you counted yourself ever so lucky to be able to spend time with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your next stop was the hotel, and that ride took even longer. It was on the outskirts of the city, far away from the estate and Kylo assured you that no one would ever think to look for you or him here. 90 percent of the people who worked on the estate lived there as well, and that was the reason why Kylo was taking you so far away. He told you he had plans to pamper you, to spend time with you, to make sure you knew that Cameron, nor did anyone else have anything like what Kylo felt for you. You were so ready for it, so ready to be with Kylo when no one else was around, to not hide with him, not have to stay up all night to get your alone time with him. When it came down to it, you’d do anything to be able to openly profess your feelings toward him. And you had to wonder if he felt the same about you. As he pulled the car around to the valet section, you could help but to stop your mind from wandering; if you could be open about your relationship with Kylo, would he tell you he loved you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon, Mr. Ren!” Said the valet operator as he opened the door for you first, then Kylo. Kylo nodded his head at him, handed him the keys and then hurriedly stepped up to the curb with you. “We’ll have your bags up to your room within the hour. You’re checked in already and one of our staff will let you into your room.” The man continued to speak to Kylo, but he seemed restless. You didn’t know if it was because he was worried about someone seeing you, or if he was just excited to be alone. Either way, it put you on edge just a tad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent, thank you so much.” Kylo said, reaching an arm around you and pulling you into the hotel. You barely got a chance to see the outside of the extravagant building before he was ushering you inside, but when you got in you couldn’t believe your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was like Kylo’s home, but better. There were three large round chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. Huge round, white marble pillars protruded from the black and white tiled floor to the white ceiling, and the walls were decorated in hand painted pieces of art. But that wasn’t all. There were some sitting areas that were decorated with deep mahogany rugs and decorative round pots that held tall, beautiful green plants. Black leather couches and single seats sat beside rounded brown coffee tables, and a lot were filled with people simply conversating, smoking cigars, and reading magazines. You took a look at the counters, at the people posted at each section with smiles on their faces, helping the patrons checking in and out of the hotel. You were instantly grateful that someone had checked in for Kylo, because the line to be waited on was long, stretching around the pillars and toward the very first lounge area. You had no idea how long it’d take you to get through it, but you didn’t want to find out. So instead, during your walk through the lobby you focused on all the people around you instead. It was almost as busy as the city streets themselves, and you were living for the experience. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo led you through the crowds over to the furthest wall, where he approached a man standing in front of a set of double doors. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Floor 35, please.” He said, to which the man nodded and pressed a button in the wall. The four of you just stood there, not moving or doing anything. You took another look around at the lobby until the doors in front of you pinged, and when you turned around you were met with the opening doors of an elevator. You smiled as the doorman held his arm out to let you into the small room, and it didn’t occur to you that you had stepped into an elevator until you saw the numbered buttons on the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a nice stay, Mr. Ren!” Said the doorman as he hit the button labeled 35, and seconds later the doors closed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, I’ve never ridden in an elevator before.” You said to Kylo once the doors had shut. Classical music played as the elevator began ascending, but it could hardly be heard over the sound of the gears and other electrical mechanisms that were powering it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They give me the creeps,” Kylo said, leaning against the wall of the elevator and relaxing for the first time since you pulled up to the hotel. You stood as still as you could and could feel the elevator rumbling below you, and you too became unnerved. “The technology is only so old. Just makes you wonder how safe you are in these things.” He went onto explain. You lifted your eyes to the floor display at the top of the elevator, above the doors. You had been in the elevator for a minute now and you were only on floor ten. The 35th floor was the very last floor, and a chill ran up your spine as you realized that you’d be staying on the very top floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure beats taking the stairs, I guess.” You said, trying to calm his nerves. You imagined having to walk up 35 flights up steps would be torture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.” Kylo answered you, looking up to the ceiling just as you had. You felt so bad for him, so much so that you crossed the elevator and cuddled up with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for taking me out.” You said, wrapping your arms around him and looked him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You deserve it, princess,” He whispered, leaning down and planting a soft, swift kiss on your lips. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We </span>
  </em>
  <span>deserve it, the time alone, that is.” You smiled at him, laid your head onto his chest and took a whiff of his sweet scent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree.” You said into his clothing. Four whole days of nothing but you and Kylo; you could hardly contain your excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took another few minutes in the elevator to reach the top floor, and when you finally did you bolted out with Kylo not too far behind you. The elevator was at the very end of the hall, and when you turned your head to the right you saw several doors on each side of the hall. It seemed to stretch on forever, and the only thing that indicated the end of the hall was a large window. The light shone in onto the tiled floor, creating sunbeams that ran across the hall almost to your feet. It was magical, but your magic was cut short when Kylo walked past you, taking you by the hand and pulling you down the hall. You had missed it at first, but there was a person standing outside of one of the doors on the right hand side, and he led you right up to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren, welcome.” He said as he stepped out of the way. You appreciated the fact that everyone was so cordial here, so respectful of you and Kylo. Everyone knew him by name, and they really did make you feel welcome. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Kylo said as he took the key card from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you need anything, just give the front desk a call.” The doorman said before headed toward the elevator. Hurriedly, Kylo swiped the key into the reader and unlocked the door. When he swung it open, you were swept right off your feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You thought that the other parts of the hotel were magical, but the actual room was breathtaking. The entire thing was about the same size as Kylo’s room, perhaps a bit smaller, but that hardly mattered. Two of the four walls were made completely of glass, and they offered a beautiful view of the city. You hardly had time to pay attention to the king sized bed, the small breakfast area, the art on the walls, and the lounge area which housed a plush couch and a TV just like Kylo had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your mouth hung agape as you stepped up to the windows, looking over everything your eyes could see. All of the skyscrapers, all of the roads and sidewalks. The people, the cars, the clouds in the bright blue, beautiful sky. It was like you were standing on top of the world, seeing things you had never seen before. You took in as much of it as you could see, leaning your head against the glass and looking down at the ant sized people walking underneath of you. It truly was a sight to behold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love watching you experience the world around you.” Kylo said, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your midsection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s just so much I haven’t seen.” You whispered, looking at a billboard that advertised a nearby seafood restaurant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s so much I want to show you.” He said, going for the buttons at the top of your shirt. A chill ran up your spine as he pressed his soft lips into the sensitive skin of your neck. The fun was just beginning, but did it really have to happen this quickly?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought the bags were coming soon?” You said, bringing your hand up around the back of his neck and leaning into him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are,” He cautioned, letting his hands roam up to your side and to the back of your dress. “That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy you until they get here.” The kisses deepened, grew more forceful as he left his signature marks out in the open where anyone could see them. You giggled at him, tipping your head to the side to allow him access to your neck. You loved it when he kissed you there, loved it when you got to wear his marks like a badge of honor. “They’ll go away in a few days.” He said as he unzipped the back of your dress and allowed it to fall to the soft, plush carpet below you. “For now, I just want you all to myself. No Grace, no maids, no cooks to interrupt us.” You stepped out of your flats as you did your dress and allowed him to walk you over to the bed, allowed him to push you down onto it and to straddle you. You loved it when the two of you got to spend time in bed together. Not necessarily having sex, but cuddling, kissing, talking to each other and so on. You loved the closeness and intimacy you got with him, especially when you got to feel his skin on yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take this off please,” You shined, pulling at his dress shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you take it off for me?” He offered, sitting up to offer you access to the buttons of his shirt. Happily you began fiddling with the small white buttons, running your finger over the smooth, cool plastic before forcing them through their respective holes. You could feel his chest expanding and flattening beneath your fingers as you worked your way down the front of his shirt. You were fully prepared to go all the way, to allow him to make love to you for the first time since you had been attacked, but you found that the very thing the two of you were running away had literally come knocking at your door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luggage delivery!” Cried someone from the other side of the door. The smile quickly fell from your face as you laid your hands flat against his chest, and he sighed against you defeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think it would be that quick,” Kylo said, leaning off of you and standing next to the bed. “Here, get under the covers. Don’t need other people seeing what I see.” He lifted the edge of the blanket and, with a proud grin on your face you positioned yourself under it, hiding just like you did the first morning you spent in Kylo’s room. “Wait right there.” He whispered, buttoning up his shirt and scurrying off to the door. You couldn’t see him from behind the corner, but you heard the door open and heard the man step just a few feet into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right there is fine,” Kylo said with a jump in his voice, as if he had been startled. You smiled as you realized he was hiding you away, keeping you a secret just as he had before. “I can take it from here.” He said, to which the man agreed. You heard them thank each other, and when the door closed again Kylo came from around the corner with your suitcase in one hand and his in the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now,” He grunted, placing the suitcases on the ground in front of the bed and walking back over to you. He swung his leg over your side and straddled you again, assuming the same position he had left you in. “Where were we?” You giggled just a bit as your fingers once again fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, pulling them apart to expose his chest to you. You couldn’t wait to pick up right where you had left off. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>On your first day of vacation from your actual vacation, you and Kylo didn’t do much else but laze around the room, half naked watching TV and just enjoying the view. He sent for lunch, then dinner later that evening, went into detail about the things he had planned for the next four days. Most of them involved staying in the room, pampering you, spoiling you, and so on, and by all means you were excited for it. Your one on one time with Kylo would be well spent, and you thought it was the best Christmas gift you could ask for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That same evening you found yourself pinned up underneath of him again, fully nude tangled up in his sheets. You hadn’t ever had sex twice in one day before, but Kylo was insistent. He specifically told you that he was determined to spend as much time inside of you as he could during these next four days, and you were not opposed to that declaration at all. You learned that, when Kylo had free reign over everything and didn’t have to be quiet, his favorite thing was kissing you. So you sat still under him as he kissed you, your leg wrapped around his hip and his body pressed so tightly against yours. It felt like you had been there for ages, but you weren’t eager to stop. You loved feeling his back, his chest, his thighs, his everything on you. If you could sit here for the rest of your life with him, you’d do it in a heartbeat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, life must go on. The two of you were sweaty and tired, and you had another three days to do this so you didn’t count it as much of a loss. You allowed your hands to slide off of his shoulders as he rolled off of you, onto the far right side of the bed. He closed his eyes for a moment as he caught his breath, and you thought this would be the perfect opportunity for you to remind him about what he wanted to bring you all the way up here for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t really done a lot of talking like you wanted to.” You said with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have three more days to talk, princess. I just want to enjoy my time with you for right now.” He mumbled. You took a look at the large decorative clock that hung on the wall and saw that it was late, going on midnight and you weren’t even tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just looking forward to what you had planned for us.” You said, turning on your side and looking out of the large windows. You felt so starstruck being so high up in the city as it lit up for the night. Seeing all of the streetlights, stop lights, and other buildings light up over the hour it got dark was mesmerizing. You smiled as you looked on at the twinkling of the stars as well as the city lights beneath them. Kylo made your world so magical, and you were hoping his magic would carry over into the next month.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You felt him roll over behind you, push his body against yours and place his hand on your shoulder to get close to your ear. His hot breath on the skin of your ear and neck made your breath stop, and for a moment you thought he’d want to have round three with you so soon after your second go around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we can start now,” He purred against you. You smiled as you thought of what he was going to say to you. Would this be the time he told you that you were staying with him, or did he take you all the way out here to tell you that there was no hope for your dreams of staying with him? Either way, you wanted to hear it now. Better to get the news out of the way and enjoy the rest of your time with him knowing everything upfront. “If you had one Christmas wish, one wish that would 100 percent come true, what would it be?” He asked, gently running his fingertips up and down your shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world around your slowed as you drank in his words. For a moment, you didn’t think what he was saying was real, and you rolled onto your back to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you’re a genie now?” You asked, and he laughed at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You silly little princess,” He laughed, adjusting himself so that he could drape an arm around you. “I’m serious. Anything you want for Christmas I can make happen. It can be a house, a car, a new job. Anything at all.” You blinked as you cuddled up to him, now knowing that you wouldn’t be going to sleep any time soon. Kylo Ren was willing to give you anything you wanted as your one last Christmas wish, and you had to make it good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hummed for a moment, putting on your best exaggerated thinking face before coming up with your one true wish for the season:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I could be with you for the rest of my life.” You said without any hesitation. Even though you were telling the truth you brought it out like a joke. Because, truthfully, you didn’t know if Kylo wanted the same for himself. He closed his eyes and laughed in response to your declaration, and it only hurt you a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, why didn’t you mention that earlier?” He asked you, calming his giggles until he could speak to you normally. “I would have bought you a ring at the jeweler and married you during our four day vacation.” He laughed again, and you laughed along with him. Was he being serious? Would he really have proposed to you during this little get away?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re lying.” You said, to which he nodded his head at you. He still smiled amusingly, as if he hadn’t single handedly brought your heart to halt. The insinuation made you incredibly convicted. He just told you, even if it were in jest, that he wanted to marry you. You were both appalled and excited at the same time, didn’t even know what to say in response. Only because you wouldn’t have been opposed to marrying him, but would it be responsible? It had only been three weeks since you met him, and then there was the point about love. Did telling you he wanted to marry you mean he loved you? Did you even love him? You loved what he did to you. You loved that he was so thoughtful and careful with you. You loved the way he made love to you, fed you, protected you, and more than anything you loved being his princess. But, did that mean you loved him? You were only 18, grew up in an orphanage where you knew nothing about love or lust, and you didn’t know if three weeks was enough time to fall in love with someone. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, yes, but did you love him enough to marry him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m kidding, princess. You wouldn’t want to be married to me anyway.” He said, clearing his throat and calming you down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that.” You whispered to him, being bold and looking him in the eye. It was your turn to run your fingers on his shoulder, and in doing so you could see him starting to relax again. Truthfully, you didn’t know if you wanted to marry him either, but if it meant you got to stay with him forever, then you’d do it in a heartbeat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, staying on the estate with me is still a consideration. We can talk about it later,” He said, pushing some of his long, disheveled hair from his face. “Pick something else. It can be anything.” You smiled up at him. With your one true wish now being shot down at least partially, you had to think of something else. Anything. Kylo told you anything you wanted could come true, and that was a dangerous power to have. A house would mean you wouldn’t be homeless after you left. A car would mean you could get a job and support yourself. But, was that really what you wanted?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shoving a hand under the back of your head, you turned back toward the windows and stared out at the night sky. Admiring the stars, you thought of what would be best for you, and no one else. A house? A car? A college education? What would you wish for that would make you happy? You thought long and hard, and when you finally came up with something that you thought would suit you, you didn’t hesitate to speak up about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I knew who my parents were.” You whispered, and you felt Kylo go stiff behind you. You had to wonder if your parents saw the same stars that you were staring at right now, if they knew you were still alive and well out there. Who were they? What were their names? Why did they give you up, and were they ever coming back to get you? You thought the one thing you were willing to accept Kylo’s help on would be finding any information about your parents as you could. You needed some kind of closure about them, to know something about the people that brought you into existence and abandoned you. Even if it were going to hurt you, even if you found out they had died, or were the biggest monsters that ever came to exist, you felt like you had a right to know about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure that’s what you want?” He asked you, sounding concerned. You nodded your head, fighting the urge to get emotional off your shoulders as you continued to stare out the window. “A house or a car I know I can get you, and I can try as hard as I can to find your parents, but Saint, it’s not guaranteed.” He warned, to which you simply smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay. An effort is all I need,” You said happily. “A name, a picture, anything. It’s all I want.” Kylo stared down at you, you could feel his confusion radiating off of him, but that was okay. You were positive that this was what you wanted. Kylo had to have connections along the line somewhere; if anything he could pay for a DNA test and find your family that way. You knew he wouldn’t disappoint you, and if he really couldn’t find them you wouldn’t hold it against him. You were just happy that he was looking out for you, continuing to spoil you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, item one off of our big talk checklist has been finished, Kylo said, throwing the blanket over both you and him and cuddling up behind you. “We can talk about the rest later. For now, let’s rest.” He said, and you couldn’t agree more. You cuddled up to him and closed your eyes, thinking about how exciting it would be to find out any little piece of information about your parents. You would take something as small as a name over not knowing anything about them for the rest of your life, and you trusted that Kylo wouldn’t disappoint you. That night, you fell asleep in his arms, and it was wonderful knowing that tomorrow you’d wake there with him too; not having to worry about people snooping around his bedroom and discovering your dirty little secret. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day, after having breakfast on a private balcony, after lounging around the room, after having a professional massage therapist come up to the room and give you both massages that left you drooling and nearly falling asleep, did you learn what the second item on your “big talk” list was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With your muscles freshly massaged, nice and loose and so on, Kylo found it fitting to have your next conversation with him in the huge, jacuzzi bathtub that you had been eyeing since the first time you saw it. You sat on opposite ends, a glass of white wine on the side of the tub for each of you. The water bubbled around you from the lavender smelling soap that Kylo added for you, and the jets created an almost soothing sensation around your body that you had never felt before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To us,” He said, raising his glass to you from across the tub. You picked yours up and clanked it against his, trying your best to not allow any of it to splash into the water. Both of you brought the glasses to your lips and took a swing, and smiled at each other as you set your glass back down. “Let’s not get you so tipsy like we did on your birthday.” He said with a chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I agree with that.” You said, watching him closely as he set his glass down and reached for your foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how are you?” He asked you as you sunk down just a tad to give him easier access to your foot. He pressed his thumb into your toes, beginning to massage his way down as he looked you in your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” You said with a shrug and a small smile. The massage you got included a foot massage which was nice, but nothing beat Kylo’s massages. The way he looked at you, the way he felt you, and the way your skin reacted was to die for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you feel good, about you and I?” He asked, and you nodded happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” You said. You were chipper, but you knew a serious topic was coming up just from the sound of his voice. Your fingers twisted under the water as you thought this was it. This was when he was going to tell you that what you had going on was going to need to come to an end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, perfect,” He said, forcing a smile on his face. “Well, I was hoping we could talk about what happened the other night, with Cameron.” He said, and you felt your face beginning to run hot. You had been doing your best to not think about her, and you were succeeding up until this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It hurt me to hear you ask if there was another woman in the picture. I know that you and I haven’t had a serious conversation about what we are, what our relationship is and such, but I just wanted to tell you that Cameron is from my past, and that’s where she is going to stay for now on.” He explained, pressing his thumb into the sole of your foot and eliciting a plethora of goosebumps to break out over your skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she was drunk.” You said, rolling your eyes at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was. She hid out in another one of the guest bedrooms all day long, stole a bottle of wine from my office and drank the entire thing. I guess you just caught your attention and she needed to take her frustrations out on you,” He said with a chuckle. “But, as I’ve said she was a from a different part of my company and I hardly ever saw her. It was my fault for hiring my ex-girlfriend out of pity, but I’ve fired her. She's gone now, and I just wanted to tell you that </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>are the only woman in my life.” He smiled, bringing your foot up to his lips and kissing you in perhaps the oddest location. You shrugged your shoulders, nodded your head and picked up your glass. Truth be told, as reassuring as his words were, she had said something to you that you couldn’t get out of your mind: That you would be gone soon. What was to stop Kylo from moving on to another woman once you were out of the picture?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, princess?” He asked, obviously taking note of the discomfort on your face. Again, you only shrugged. It hurt you to think that in the next week or so you’d have to adjust without him, and that he had every right to move on to someone new. But, for right now, you thought you had to be truthful. This was an important conversation after all, and you were sure he wanted your input too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, December is going to end soon. Who’s to say we won’t go our separate ways in January?” You said with the utmost serious look on your face. You wished Kylo would just say it, that after you were gone you wouldn’t be coming back. It would make you feel much better to hear him admit it than to hear him beat around the bush again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he only laughed at you, gently set your foot down and you drew your knees to your chest. You weren’t expecting him to laugh at you about this, and you were only just a little put off about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was going to be the last thing on our list to talk about, but I just got word from the estate about something special,” He said, taking a swing of his wine. “We can save that conversation for later. For now, would it make you feel better if I told you that I am truly interested in pursuing a relationship with you?” He asked, tilting his head and glaring at you from across the tub. You gasped, jumped just a little in the hot water as Kylo stared back at you, his head cocked waiting for an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I--You want to what?” You asked him, and again he only laughed at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought you up here for a little bit of privacy, yes, and I know that this has been bothering you for a while. I want to know…” He said, taking a deep breath and looking down into the water for a moment. “Are you willing to be in a committed relationship with me?” He asked, cutting his eyes back up at you. It would seem your reaction, or lack thereof, slowed him down. He went from being confident in asking you to be his girlfriend to nervous, and it took you a moment to realize it was because you weren’t saying anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” You asked, as if he could be talking about any other person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, the woman that I’ve been sexually active with, the woman that I’ve dreamed about every night for the last two weeks. The woman I’ve kissed, cuddled, and taken on vacation. You, Saint. I want you to be my significant other.” He smiled at you as you felt the blood drain from your cheeks. This was happening. This really was your dream come true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, I’m not special!” You blurted out without another thought. “I come from nothing. I am nothing. You, you’re rich! You’re powerful. What would you want with a lost little orphan girl?” You said, feeling as if you were going to panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s certainly not true,” He purred. “You’re not nothing. You’re Saint. You’re kind, caring, forgiving, and my princess of course.” You giggled at the last part of his sentence, feeling yourself becoming rational again. If there was anything you wanted to be it was his princess, and you wanted to be his princess full time. “And none of that has ever stopped me from…” He said, trailing off for a moment. His eyes went from you back down into the water, where he reached for your leg and began massaging your foot again. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Admiring, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you before. Why would it stop me from being your partner?” You stared at him, becoming unsettled at the fact that the word ‘admiring’ was not the original word he wanted to use. Your lip trembled as you nodded your head, willing the word ‘yes’ from between your lips until it had finally come out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," You said again, because the first time you said it to him it hardly felt real. "Yes, I, I want to be with you, Kylo!" He laughed at you, nodded his head and simply said 'okay' in response. Then the two of you stared at one another, newly in a relationship you really didn't know how to react to and his pleased silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never, ever had a boyfriend before, though,” You warned as he beamed happily at you. “You’re gonna have to tell me what I’m supposed to do!” You felt tears welling in your eyes as you shook there in front of him, then decided that Kylo deserved better than that from his now significant other. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to reply before you were stepping down from your seat and propelling yourself into his arms, to which he held you ever so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do exactly what you’ve been doing. You be my princess, and you don’t do anything different.” You lay your head down onto his chest and hugged him tight. Kylo admired you just for being you. You didn’t have to look like him, or act like him, or anyone else for that matter. All you had to do to win his affection, was to just be you. Saint. His princess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were exactly what Kylo wanted in his life, and you could only guess that this meant your time on his estate would not be coming to an end any time soon.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You stretch and yawn as you wake the next morning, feeling refreshed and ready to take on your third, private day with Kylo. The previous night had felt like a dream, and when you woke the next morning you wondered if it was. Especially when you turned and felt the bed empty beside you. You flipped yourself over to face the windows and found Kylo standing there in front of the rising sun, his body nothing more than a shadow amongst the pink, purple, and orange sky. You propped your head up as you watched him sip his coffee in the nude, looking over the skyline as if he had no cares in the world. This was your boyfriend now, your partner, your significant other. He was all yours, and you thought you had every right to admire him now.</p><p>The room was filled only with the heat blowing softly throughout the room and him taking the lightest sips of his coffee every few seconds before he finally did something different, shifting on his feet and acknowledging you. </p><p>“Good morning, princess.” He said, before turning around and staring at you.</p><p>“How did you know I was awake?” You asked him.. You sat up and beamed at him as he smiled back at you, setting the coffee down at the small table where you ate all of your meals. </p><p>“I could see your reflection. You’ve been staring at me for a while now, but that’s okay. I enjoy the attention.” He said, and you giggled in response. </p><p>“Well, luckily for you I enjoy the view.” You shrugged, and he shied away from you back toward the window. </p><p>He motioned with his hand for you to come over to the window, and you did so without any hesitation. You threw the blanket from your naked body and quietly made you way over to him, wrapping your arms around him as the two of you stared out into the sunrise. He placed his nose in your hair and sniffed you, complimenting your scent before kissing your hair and reciprocating your hug. You felt so safe in his arms, and you loved feeling the warmth of his skin on you. Even the cold from the window hand no effect on you as you stood there embracing each other, and you would have given anything to do this with him every morning.</p><p>“Do you think they can see us?” You asked him, allowing your eyes to travel from the buildings down to the many cars that rolled along the roads below you. </p><p>“No, probably not,” He said as his hands roamed down your back to your ass. With your body pressed so tightly against his you could feel his cock beginning to stir against your pelvis. You had been lucky enough to have sex with him every morning and every night, and you thought this morning would be no different. “But if they did, they would see me making love to my beautiful princess.” You pressed your face into his chest reaching down between the two of you to start stroking his cock. It sat warm and heavy as it grew in your hand, and he let out a big sigh as you began to stroke him. </p><p>“Where do you want it this morning?” He asked, shifting you in his arms so that he could kiss you for just a few moments. You stopped stroking him in favor of listening to him. Usually the suggestions he gave were kinky. He had you in bed a few times, yes, but he also had you bent over the small table in the kitchen area and during a shower he two of you shared the previous night. It was your favorite part about sex, really. Being intimate in an area that wasn’t your bed was the best thing ever.</p><p>“Right here, I think.” You offered, picking up your pace on his cock as you turned and looked outside. The thought of people being able to see you as you got it on with Kylo sent your skin tingling left and right, and it felt so perfect. You smiled as you looked up to him for validation, and you were proud when you saw him looking ever so flustered at your actions. </p><p>“You want people to see you?” He asked, turning and looking out the window again.</p><p>“Maybe.” You said with a giggle. “You were the one who said people would see you making love to me after all.” </p><p>“You’re so sweet,” He said, running his hand down your face and over your lips. “Do you want me to bend you over, or would you rather do it on the floor?” He asked, and you imagined each scenario in your head. Taking it standing up would be nice, and so would doing it missionary on the floor. But, you had other things on your mind. </p><p>Without breaking eye contact you stepped out of his arms, slowly fell into a squat and rubbed your fingertips on the skin of his chest on your way down.</p><p>“Actually,” You started, staring up at him from in front of his knees. “I have something else in mind.” You said, gripping his hips to balance yourself on the balls of your feet. He raised a brow at you as you grasped his cock and continued to stroke him there in front of your face. You had always wanted to try this. Ever since he used his mouth on you the first time you had dreamed about having him in your mouth. You thought if he were willing to do it to you then the very least you could do was to try it for him.</p><p>“Are you sure?” He asked you, bringing his hand down through your hair, over your cheek and bringing his thumb to rest on your lips.</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to try. You use your mouth on me all the time. It’s only fair.” You offered, grasping his cock with your hand and stroking him again. You flashed him your most innocent smile, waiting for his permission just as he had done to you for every sexual encounter you had. His hand went from your face to the back of your neck where he scooted your head closer to him. His cock jumped as it pressed against your lips, and when you opened your mouth and welcomed him into an entirely new part of your body, you once again felt as if Kylo had helped you discover a brand new part of yourself.</p><p>He tasted so good. <em> So, </em>so good. Not good as in a sweet frosted donut, or a savory piece of steak kind of way, but in his own, perfect way. You found yourself running your tongue over the tip of his cock over and over, ravishing his taste when you weren’t bobbing your head up and down over his length. His fingers tightening in your hair encouraged you to keep going, his moans and groans encouraged you to go faster, and when you had gotten enough of him you slipped him from your mouth and began to lick him up and down like a lollipop. You smiled as you held him against your face, giving his reddened, oversensitive head one last kiss before you gave him just one demand:</p><p>“Can it be my turn now?” You asked. Performing oral sex on him for the last 15 minutes or so had turned you on so much, and you were feeling needy and horny as well. You asked as nicely as you could and, lucky for you, Kylo felt like delivering. </p><p>He hoisted you up by your armpits and pressed your back against the window. The frigid glass sent shockwaves through your warm body, and it was one of the wildest sensations you had ever felt. Without even so much as looking at you he dropped to his knees, hoisting your knee over his shoulder and spreading your legs wide for him. His tongue met your sex within seconds, and you were throwing your head back against the window as he absolutely did not hold back his passion. </p><p>The feeling of both warmth and cold against your body was exhilarating. All of your senses all at once were heightened and you found yourself gyrating your hips against his face as you begged him for more. The prickling of your skin against the window was to die for, yet the warmth of his mouth made you melt. You thought your body was confused and didn’t know how to feel, thought your sense of touch and temperature was going haywire, and all of it put together caused your body to erupt in the strongest orgasm you had ever had. With your one foot planted firmly into the ground, you stood up on the tips of your toes as Kylo flicked his tongue over your clit, and just as he did to you you curled your fingers into his hair. You were left panting and trembling, moaning and mumbling about things that didn’t make any sense, but Kylo wasn’t finished with you.</p><p>He stood tall and proud, once again lifting your leg up over his elbow and holding it behind his back as best as he could. He had a wild look of determination on his face as he lined himself up with you, and you realized that the ground breaking orgasm you had made you forget that he hadn’t finished. That was okay. You weren’t going to turn down another opportunity to have him inside of you. </p><p>This time, the difference in temperature was astronomical. His hot, sweaty body pressed against you while the cold window was to your back. It drove you wild and you thought for sure you were about to have yet another orgasm on his cock. Your arms hung around his neck as you shut your eyes, groaning and begging him to keep going as you climbed higher and higher. </p><p>“You, are, so, fucking, perfect.” He panted as he picked up speed, hitting your sensitive spot head on inside of you. You could feel your back sliding up and down the window as sweat began to drip from your shoulders, and when you felt like you could hang on no longer you simply let go, allowing your body to go stiff and rigid as you had your second orgasm there on Kylo. You opened your eyes just in time to see Kylo’s clenched jaw and “O” face as he pulled out of you, turned toward the window and released his sperm at the glass. You watched, completely drained of energy as his fluids began rolling down the window toward the carpet, and it would seem Kylo was just as spent as you were. When everything was said and done, when both of you had fallen away from each other and were coming down from your sexual highs, you only had one thing to say to him:</p><p>“You, are, amazing.” You whispered, to which he only smiled at you. </p><p>“Let’s go have a shower.” He offered, taking you by the hand and pulling you toward the bathroom. A shower. A shower would be wonderful.</p><p> </p><p>“So did you really mean it when you said you wanted me to be your girlfriend?” You asked as you picked over your bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes. Even after having him that morning you still didn’t quite believe it when he told you that he wanted you to be his.</p><p>“I really don’t like the term ‘girlfriend,’ and ‘boyfriend,’” He said as he returned to the table with a plate of toast and an apple. “It sounds so juvenile. But yes, I was serious when I told you last night that I wanted you to be my partner.” You smiled to yourself as you took another spoonful. Kylo sat down with a newspaper and took a bite of his apple, and all was well in your world. You were so excited to have your first boyfriend, or partner as Kylo mentioned, and you felt like in the short amount of time you had spent with him you had come so far. You had gone from the helpless little orphan girl that no one cared about, to the significant other of one of the richest men of all of New York City. You were so proud of yourself, and couldn’t wait to see how much further Kylo would take you in your life.</p><p>“We just need to keep it quiet for a few when we get back to the estate. Some folks won’t understand, and I get the feeling our relationship would be looked down upon by them.” He warned, not even bothering to look at you. You fiddled with the hem of your light sleeping shirt as you wondered exactly why people wouldn’t approve. You were an adult, and two consenting adults can do as they please, right? </p><p>“But, but why?” You asked, coming to the painful conclusion that maybe your life as Kylo’s partner wouldn’t be as easy as you thought it would be. If you still had to sneak around just like you were doing now for the rest of your life, then what would be the point? You were hoping that by being his significant other you would be awarded more freedoms, such as being able to freely show off your affections with one another anywhere on the estate. </p><p>“Some may question whether or not the relationship started before or after you became an adult.” He said, taking another sip of his second cup of coffee.</p><p>“That wouldn’t make any sense,” You blurted out, placing your spoon in your bowl as an act of defiance. “I was only 17 for four days on the estate. You couldn’t possibly fall in love with someone within four days.” You said, not exactly realizing what you had said to him. You had said it. The “L” word you had been toying with since you became sexually active with Kylo. He stared at you from the other side of the table and you wished that the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Had you just told him that now that you were in a relationship with him, that you loved him? </p><p>“I’m, I’m sorry,” You said, coughing just a bit. “That’s not what I meant. I was just saying, that--”</p><p>“I know what you meant, Saint,” He cut in, flipping the page of his newspaper and focusing on that instead of you. “Why don’t you tell me what you dreamed about last night?” He said, abruptly changing the subject. You swallowed, swirled your spoon around in what was left of your cereal while you tried to remember what you had dreamed about. It was a past time Kylo had started with you the previous week, and started when you had apparently woken him up in the middle of the night to tell him that you were headed straight to Canada to be an Opera singer, then went back to sleep like nothing had happened. You were dreaming of course, talking in your sleep as you had been known to do. Kylo enjoyed hearing about your dreams, especially now that they more or less involved him every night.</p><p>“Um, I think I dreamed that we were hiking up a cold, snowy mountain,” You said, staring into your bowl of cereal and trying to make sense of what you dreamed of. “But we were in our normal clothes. It was weird. It was just you, and I, and this huge mountain, and I was so tired that I gave up and started to fall.” Yes. You could clearly remember nearly slipping off the edge of the mountain and feeling your heart race like you were actually about to fall to your death. “And then you reached your hand down and took mine, and told me you wouldn’t let me fall. But I kept telling you that I was too tired to climb the rest of the way, but you kept pulling me up.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure you had pulled me all the way to the top, and you were holding me with both of your hands. But, sometime after that you tapped me on the shoulder and said ‘Saint, are you awake?’” You said, chuckling at the memory. Dreams really were special things, especially when they don’t obey the laws of gravity. </p><p>“Go on.” He said, wiping the crumbs off of his fingers on his sweatpants.</p><p>“I told you I was, and then you pulled me all the way up and whispered…” You started to retell what you dreamed, but trailed off when you remembered exactly what he said to you in your dream. Your stomach churned as you realized you were going to have to say this out loud to him, and you didn’t know how he would react to it. “...I love you.” You finally let it out, but did nothing but stare into your bowl. You felt roses blooming in your cheeks while you sat there idle, not wanting to know what Kylo was thinking about your dream. It must have meant that you wanted Kylo to love you. There was no way around it, and given how he reacted to your accidental expectation of his love you thought he was going to react negatively to you.</p><p>“But, it was just a dream, and you know I have some funny dreams.” You said, trying to laugh off the awkwardness. </p><p>“There’s nothing funny about love, Saint,” He said, taking on a much more serious tone. “I know you had it rough growing up, and you didn’t experience a lot of care and love when you were a child. Your body is just telling you what it needs, and what it needs is to be loved. It doesn’t help that you made a life altering decision last night for yourself.” He lectured you, lowering his newspaper finally. </p><p>“You know, it took me a long time to figure out why I was so drawn to you. And it’s because we have one thing in common,” He started, finally letting a smile spread over his lips. “Our past. We both went through a significant portion of our lives being unloved, both grew up in orphanages, and we both lack one or more parental figures.” He went onto say, and his words shook you to your core. Never had you given much thought about how you and Kylo had similar upbringings; instead you focused on how the two of you were so different. </p><p>“You and I, we need each other. What I lack in sociability, you make up for in being the little social butterfly you are. What you lack in experience I make up for you by spoiling you, taking you out to see the sights. You tell me all the time that I’ve changed your life for the better, But I don’t think you realized how much you’ve changed my life for the better, Saint. I can’t tell you how badly I didn’t want you, or any other child to come to my home for an entire month, but I didn’t know I would be receiving a young lady that I simply needed. I needed to relax. I needed someone to identify with, and give me the hope I needed to know that I wouldn’t be stuck in the depressive, unmoving, state I was in at the time. I needed you to come into my home and remind me that my life is more than what my father had set up for me. Life is more than just the business I run. Life is more than going to work and being stressed out all day, then come home to a house full of people that care about me just to hide away and be by myself. The things you’ve taught me, the places we’ve gone, and the fun that we’ve had, it’s all been worth it and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You and I both know what it’s like to be unloved, and we both deserve to have each other. Whether that’s loving each other, making love to each other, or just spending time with each other, it’s time well spent, and I want you to know that.” He said, finally ending his speech. </p><p>You were left trembling, tears threatening your eyes as you soaked in every word he said like a sponge. Again, you hadn’t focused at all on what you were doing for him, and instead focusing on how he had changed your life. Looking back, when you first met Kylo he was cold and rude. He spent meal times away from you and his staff, and he never wanted to be around you. Now when you looked at him, he was a totally different man. Present at every meal, playing games and having fun with the maids, and of course spending as much of his free time with you as he could. This was all because of you. You came into his life, and you changed him for the better just as he did for you.</p><p>Ever so slowly you reached out across the table and placed your hand over his. He flipped his hand over and held your much smaller hand in his, closing it around you and holding you tight. You looked into his eyes, his eyes that were glassing over as well, knowing that once you said what you needed to, there was no going back. You thought he had taken all of those words just to say those three little words you were so afraid of, and you were obligated to say it back to him.</p><p>“Kylo,” You said, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. “I love you.” Your voice cracked as you finally admitted your feelings toward him. He was right. He was absolutely right. He deserved you, and he deserved to know how you truly felt about him. His grip on your hand tightened as you watched as a tear slipped down his cheek before he finally admitted how he felt about you:</p><p>“Saint, I love you too.” He whispered, and you knew your life would never, ever be the same.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Art by notsofunnytho on Instagram</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well there it is lol. The big I Love You!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You had a hard time believing that what you said to Kylo was true. You had an even harder time believing that what he said back to you was true as well. Love. Could you really have come to love each other within three weeks? Your body and your remarkable spirit told you yes, that you loved Kylo and everything he did for you, but logic told you no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, how would you even know that? You had no one to compare your relationship with Kylo to, no parents or brothers or sisters to gauge what was normal and what wasn’t when it came to love. Neither did Kylo, really. Maybe he was right. Maybe you had to just listen to your body and address its needs, and what your body needed was to be loved and to love. If Kylo didn’t think he was in love, he wouldn’t have told you he loved you. The same went for you, and at some point you knew you were going to have to stop doubting both him and yourself. You and Kylo were in love, and that was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really do love you.” He said that evening over dinner, pulling you from your thoughts as you picked over your steak in front of him. “Just, just in case you forgot.” He quickly added with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t forget, you just told me this morning,” You smiled at him. “And I love you too, even though I don’t understand it too much.” You admitted, to which Kylo nodded his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truthfully, neither do I.” Kylo said, dabbing the corners of his mouth with his navy blue cloth napkin. “But that’s alright. I know this is right, there’s no arguing it with anyone.” He said, and you could only stare at him. You propped your elbow up on the table and leaned your cheek in your hand, staring at the man you loved. Your partner, your love interest, your Kylo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When will it be safe to tell people at the estate?” You asked him, and he just shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know.” He answered you, beginning to cut into his steak again. “There’s no rush. Not everyone needs to know our business.” He said, but it didn’t sit right with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t like sneaking around in the middle of the night to be alone with you. I want to be able to do that normally.” You said, bringing up your woes. He stared at you, nodded his head as he chewed a part of his steak up. You felt odd arguing with him like this, especially since this was basically your first argument with Kylo at all. But, you had committed yourself to him and you planned on committing yourself to him for as long as you could. You deserved to make your thoughts and issues known, and you had to start now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” He said, staring at you from across the table. “Do you remember what I told you this morning?” He asked you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other than you love me?” You said playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Saint, other than I love you,” He laughed, and you just couldn’t get enough of his happy face. His deep dimples, the lines that appeared around his mouth and his eyes. Even though you were having a serious conversation, you couldn’t believe that he was yours. “I told you that people would look down upon our relationship if they found out so quickly. There would be a question on whether or not it started when you were a legal consenting adult or not, and, believe it or not, that would cause even more problems for both you and I.” You stared at him, stewing on the fact that you’d have to hide your relationship with Kylo for as long as he saw fit. A few days, weeks, months maybe? You didn’t know, and you didn’t think Kylo knew either. What you did know, was that you needed to not be so selfish. While you had absolutely nothing to lose over this ordeal, Kylo had everything. You had to stop and think about his reputation too; allegations of being a pedophile definitely would not blow over for a billionaire, and Kylo very well could lose everything over one stupid rumor that wasn’t true. You sipped your cola, trying not to be mad at him when he had done so much for you to begin with. If this was how he wanted to do things, then that was okay with you. At least you had him. He was all you needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the morning of your 4th and final day alone with Kylo, you woke up feeling rather sad. It had been so nice having time to just yourselves, having these difficult conversations with one another, and discovering feelings you held for each other. You loved and cherished Kylo for who he was, and as you packed your bags to return to the estate just in time for the Christmas eve party Kylo threw for his staff every year, you realized that nothing, not even having to hide your relationship, would change that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we’ll have to make this a regular occurrence.” He said as he lifted your suitcase for you and carried it to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that would be wonderful!” You said with a smile, adjusting your hat on your head one more time before he opened the door. As he handed the bags off to the doorman you turned and took one more look at the room over your shoulder. What you wouldn’t give to live here with him for the rest of your life. Overlooking the city, feeling like you were flying on a high you would never come down from. “But, does that mean I can stay on the estate with you and everyone else?” You asked, responding to his insinuation that the two of you would be together long enough to have another little vacation together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached down and squeezed your hand as the two of you walked behind the doorman, chuckling at you as he did whenever you begged for the answer for that question. It was killing you not knowing what he had planned for you, and you were hoping to trick it out of him somehow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep telling you, you’ll get the answer to that question when we get back to the estate.” He said jovially.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m impatient!” You said, giggling like a mad woman as you approached the elevator. “Please, will you tell me? I’m dying to know!” Again he squeezed your hand, took a look at the doorman who was definitely standing too close for him to tease you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a no, princess.” He whispered, and the door to the elevator opened. The three of you stepped inside and the elevator closed behind you. Thus ended your much needed vacation with your beloved partner, Kylo Ren.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kylo took you out for brunch, then the two of you simply drove around the city for a few hours to kill more time before returning to his home. You had no qualms about this, about his hand protectively around yours in his lap as you stared at the people who walked and drove by. You were so enthralled by the city, by the sights and sounds it provided for you that you knew you’d never want to leave. You had spent the last 18 years of your life cooped up away from it all, why would you want to leave now? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you sat there staring out the window until things began to look familiar to you, and before you knew it you were pulling up to the gates that guarded his estate. You sighed, trying to think of the positives that existed about going back to his home. You would get to see your friends again, get to see your own room and Kylo’s. You’d even get to attend your first Christmas party the next day. It wouldn’t be all bad, and Kylo promised you that you wouldn’t have to hide your relationship with him for much longer. To think that you left this place four days ago not knowing that you’d come back so refreshed, having unloaded all of your feelings, and with Kylo as your significant other was wild. You kept wondering if it were a dream, but it wasn’t. This was reality, and this was going to be your life from now on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you had enough of me?” You asked him, looking up at him with a sly grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his brows as he concentrated on the wooded path before him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, do you still want me to meet you in your bedroom tonight?” You asked, to which he nodded his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do,” He said just as the woods cleared and the estate became visible. “Just because you’re mine now doesn’t mean anything is changing that dramatically.” He said as he pulled the car up through the driveway. The driver stepped out from the porch and greeted you and Kylo with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what is changing?” You asked him, seeing if you could trick him into telling you what was going on with you staying on the estate. He turned the car off, turned his head to look at you and just smiled sweetly as he ever did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll find out tomorrow.” He whispered before opening the car door. You snarled to yourself as you cursed him under your breath. He was so smart and he absolutely would not budge. That meant one thing and one thing only: that tomorrow all of your questions would be answered and there simply was nothing you could do about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you walked into the estate, you were greeted with the same chaotic scene you were met with on your very first day. The maids and other employees were hard at work as they were most afternoons, and you were shocked to see them all stop and say hello to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome back Mr. Ren, Miss Saint.” Said Eli as he came up beside you. His warm welcoming smile made you feel right at home, and very merrily did you hand him your hat and coat to be stored till next time. You stepped into the foyer and started to take a look around at the happy faces that stared back at you, and it took you far too long to realize that something major had happened to the estate while you were gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire foyer, from top to bottom, was decorated for Christmas. You stepped into the center slowly, gawking at the tinsel, the blinking lights, and the garland that was hung on the stair banisters as well as hanging from the ceiling. Everything had taken on a red, white, and green color scheme, but what was most eye catching was the sight of the massive live pine tree that stood in the corner of the room, just in front of Kylo’s office. It was bigger than any Christmas tree you had ever seen before in your entire life. The entire thing had tinsel and white lights strung on it just as well as regal ornaments of every size, shape, and color. People walked around you as you zeroed in on it, thinking there was no doubt that this would be the best Christmas day of your life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Saint!” Said Grace as she came from your right. You turned around just in time to see her walking briskly toward you, dressed in an all white, crisp outfit as she normally did with a Christmas tree broach on the left side of her blouse. “Welcome back my dear. You’re just in time! The cookies just came out of the oven!” You turned toward her and saw one of the kitchen workers standing next to her with a tray of cookies in her hand. They were sugar cookies, shaped like reindeer, Santa hats, and Christmas trees with red and green sparkles on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I have one?” You asked, to which the maid nodded her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have some fancier ones with frosting being decorated for tomorrow’s party, but these are just for everyone to enjoy now!” The maid said with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you don’t mind, but we took up decorating while you were gone. We all get so into the Christmas spirit around here, and we just can’t help ourselves.” Grace said, taking your hand into hers. “We are so happy to have you back, Saint.” She said, leaving your chest filling with pride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m very happy to be back.” You answered her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, why don’t I show you the rest of our Christmas decorations. We even have a few set up in your room as well.” She said, putting her arm over your shoulders and leading you to the steps. You agreed that you wanted to see the rest of the decorations, but you realized you hadn’t said anything to Kylo since you got home. You tossed a look at him over your shoulder and saw him walking past the Christmas tree and into his office, and you were shaking your head at him internally. So far, hiding your newfound relationship from everyone on the estate was going well, and that was okay with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grace led you to your room, showing off all the little decorations the mansion was covered with along the way. She told you that they really did try to go all out for Christmas every year, and this year was no exception. You had never seen this many Christmas decorations before in your life, and you could tell that it put everyone around you in a much more merry spirit. She said she also had a surprise for you set up in your room that you needed to try out, and that excited you even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christmas gifts already?” You asked her. Christmas was still two days away, and you were up to your ears in wonderful gifts from the people on the estate. You should have guessed that they would continue to spoil you up until Christmas day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well this one you’ll need for tomorrow evening.” She said as she pushed the door open. You looked into your room only to have your breath catch in your throat when you came face to face with a mannequin that was standing in the middle of your room. It was dressed in the most beautiful ruby red ball gown you had ever seen. It was sleeveless, and the most striking part about it was the silver sparkles that started at the top of it and spread out until they were sparse at the bottom of the dress. You took a few steps into your room in order to get a closer look, and you could have sworn the sparkles were actual diamonds. You took a look down at your bracelet to compare the two, and the resemblance was there. You really thought there was no limit to how much money these people would spend on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We couldn’t let our guest show up to the ball wearing just anything,” Grace said, placing her hands on your shoulders as you gawked at the marvelous dress. “Come dear, let’s make sure it fits. We don’t want to have to make any last minute changes on the day of the ball.” She says, pushing you toward the dress. You had never been dressed literally in diamonds before, and you couldn’t stop the excitement from manifesting inside of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dress fit perfectly. You were dripping in the diamonds as some of the tailors took your measurements and made sure you would no have any wardrobe malfunctions tomorrow, all while you were imagining what Kylo would think when he saw you in this beautiful gown. You wished you could leave it on for the rest of the day, as you felt like nothing short of royalty. But eventually they made you take it off, made you change into a regular old dress so that they could make the adjustments they needed and you could eat lunch. From there, you went back to your usual routine on the estate. You entertained yourself, you ate the meals they fed you, and when the clock struck midnight you were sneaking across the hall to your partner’s room, where you spread your legs and welcomed him into your body just like you always did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day came quickly, and as Kylo filed out of his bedroom to go work in his office you quickly showered and got yourself ready for the day. You were so excited to see that the staff was hard at work setting up the foyer and other parts of the house, including placing presents under the tree and setting up buffet food stands. You scarfed down your breakfast as quickly as you could, then took to helping everyone get set up until Grace called your name from the top of the steps. You turned to see her smiling at you, beckoning you with her finger to come talk to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to start getting you ready.” She said, beginning to walk down the hall toward your room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the party doesn’t start until six.” You said in protest. It only took you a few minutes to get yourself situated in your dress, and it was only 3 pm now. You were enjoying helping everyone get things set up, dancing around to the Christmas music that everyone else was enjoying as well. You didn’t want to stop so soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we have your hair and makeup to do, my dear,” She said, smiling at you from over her shoulder. “If you felt like a princess yesterday, just wait until our make up artists and hair stylists finish with you.” She said, but you were hesitant. You had never worn make up a day in your life, and had never deviated from your regular three hairstyles-up, down, and a bun. You almost wanted to tell her that you would pass, but you realized this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Even if you did end up staying with Kylo, you didn’t think you’d often get a professional makeover. You nodded as you dutifully followed Grace to your room, and were blown away yet again when the door opened and you not only found your dress still standing there beautifully where it was left, but a salon chair, portable makeup lights, and three women that were buzzing around, rummaging through some shelves on wheels and rolling backpacks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies, this is Saint,” Grace said, introducing you to them. All three stopped what they were doing and smiled at you, dropping the brushes, combs, and makeup pallets they held in their hands to come over and greet you. “Saint, this is Darla, Anna, and Cheryl. They’re gonna pretty you up for the ball tonight.” She said just as one of the women took your hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, sit down. Let’s get some makeup on that gorgeous face.” Said the woman, Anna as she introduced herself. “All of the boys are going to be swooning over you, honey.” She said, sitting you down in the chair. It was a chaotic scene as the women began orbiting you, pulling their makeup carts closer to you and opening them and closing them. They stuck to you like flies on honey, and even though it wasn’t ideal you decided you needed to try. Besides, there was only one boy you wanted to swoon over you, and that was Kylo. If the makeup and hair would impress him, then you would sit there and take it no problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two and a half hours of sitting in the chair getting your hair cut, heated, and styled and your makeup done was beyond boring. Your neck was killing you by the time they let you up for a snack break, but that wasn’t the end. You still had you dress to wiggle in to! With your hair up in curlers all three women lifted the dress above your head, minding the hard work they had put into your hair and helped you bring it down onto your body. It fit much better than it did yesterday, and by the time your hair was tumbling down onto your shoulders in the most beautiful, full, bouncy curls you had ever seen, you really did feel like a queen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you are, my dear.” Cheryl said as she straightened and smoothed out parts of your dress. “You look drop dead gorgeous!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And just in time too, I think I hear the music starting downstairs.” The corners of your red lips quirked up as the three women fawned over you, and when you turned to look in your bathroom mirror you saw why. You had specifically asked them for not a whole lot of makeup, as you didn’t want to be uncomfortable all night long. They certainly delivered. Your lips were a blood red while your eyelids were covered in a shimmery white. Your brows had been reshaped and were precise as a pin point, and they ended the look with some subtle red blush and highlight on your cheek bones. In the end, it didn’t look like you had a whole lot of makeup on, and you really did think it accented your features instead of overriding them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, baby,” Anna said, pulling you from in front of the mirror. “We’ve got a show to stop.” She smiled at you, and for the first time all evening you could feel your heart racing. They had been hyping you up all afternoon long and told you that you’d be center stage, but could you actually do it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The answer was yes--you had to. You were so excited about the party tonight and you didn’t care if you went down in your pajamas or a drop dead gorgeous dress like the one you had on. As carefully as you could, you balanced yourself on your red heels as you headed toward your door. You felt so incredibly powerful, beautiful, and above all else, confident. You didn’t care about what anyone else on the estate would think of you. The only person you wanted to impress was Kylo. You couldn’t wait to see what he thought you looked like; especially since he was impressed by you wearing anything at all--including nothing at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could hear the up beat, festive music playing from down the hall when the door was opened for you, could smell the wonderful food that had been worked on all day long. Your heels clicked against the floor as you put one foot out in front of the other, pretending you were a model on a catwalk. You felt like you were once again on top of the world, especially when you walked out into the open where you saw the crowd of people all stop what they were doing and look up at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All eyes were on you as you placed your hand upon the banister and stared back at them, and you could feel your cheeks reddening as their jaws dropped and their eyes widened. You smiled, looked down to the floor as the first whistle from the crowd sparked an even heavier reaction. People oohed and awed below you as you stepped to the stairs, and as soon as your entire body was visible the crowd broke out in applause. You honestly felt like you could cry as everyone’s attention was on you. You felt so important, wanted, needed. Just as your locket told you every day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, darling, you look fabulous!” You heard someone say. You looked up and saw Grace coming from the other side of the hall from Kylo’s room, dressed in an all white dress that was much more relaxed than her usual attire. With the applause for you dying down you turned your full attention toward her only to have your attention ripped away when you saw Kylo with his eyes locked on you. He was dressed in a sharp black suit as he always wore, his hair slicked back and he looked handsome as ever. You could tell from the hungry look in his eye that he wanted you. He wanted to take you in his arms and smother you with love. He wanted to tear the dress off, mess up your hair and ruin your makeup by fucking you until the sun came up, but he had to contain himself for the sake of your relationship. “I was just helping Mr. Ren with his hair. Doesn’t he look handsome?” Grace said, stepping aside and showing Kylo off to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of, of course!” You said nervously, wanting to kiss and hug him too. In the end he shoved his hands in his pockets, looked you up and down and smiled as nonchalantly as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, you look beautiful as well.” He said flatly, as if the two of you hadn’t been having sex for weeks now. Grace smiled between you and took you both by the shoulders, steering you toward the steps. You reluctantly looked away from Kylo, back down at the crowd of people that were gawking at all three of you before Grace stepped out from between you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you kids go have fun,” She said, pushing both you and Kylo toward the stairs. “I’m going to be at the bar downstairs, but first I have to grab something from my room.” She said, stepping away with a smile. You nodded at her, reciprocating a smile of your own. You were hoping she’d come back because you were looking forward to spending time with her tonight, but you didn’t think they’d let you drink at the bar anyway. Looking back at the crowd people still beamed at you, and before you could react Kylo was gently taking your hand, holding it in the air as he stepped down the steps. You realized he was helping you down, likely so you wouldn’t slip and fall, but also to remind you that you were still his. You loved it, and as the staff began to clap for the two of you again you took your first steps down toward the foyer. You could have been introducing yourself as Kylo’s significant other to everyone right then, but you knew Kylo still wanted it to be a secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of your hand once you reached the bottom of the steps, but before he walked away you reached up and placed your hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You whispered just as people began turning away. He nodded his head at you before disappearing into the crowd, leaving you alone in a mass of happy people in all sorts of colorful outfits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint you are looking adorable!” Said Ursula from behind you. You turned and thanked her, and thus started your evening of good food, good friends, and good fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You felt like you spent the entire evening with a plate in your hand, eating away at the endless amount of hor d'oeuvres that were at the buffet in the foyer until the main meal came out and was served at the table. Salmon, with beautiful green vegetables and mashed potatoes, followed by chocolate lava cake and ice cream. After that the small sandwiches, fruits, and other hor’dourves were removed and replaced with the fancy decorated cookies and small slices of cake, which you took to snacking on almost immediately. All of this went on between laughing and dancing with the members of Kylo’s staff, showing off your sparkling dress and having the time of your life. There were even some new people from his offices from over the state that you were meeting for the first time, and luckily for you, you didn’t see anyone side eyeing you like Cameron did. This was the first major fancy party you had ever attended, and even though Kylo had been on your mind all evening, you never wanted it to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo stood in the furthest corner away from you, speaking quietly with the other attendees and nursing a glass of wine. Every so often you’d peer over your shoulder at him and see him smiling at you, watching over you as you were having fun. You tried to show off for him, even just a little bit when you would throw your arms in the air and sway your hips with another girl that served you lunch, and he seemed pleased with you. You wished you could go over and dance with him, dance against him like you did many times in the hotel room. But in the end, you left him alone, enjoying yourself and everything the party had to offer you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the music came to an end and Grace stepped out above the staircase, drawing everyone’s attention to her with the clap of her hands. You looked up at her as she smiled so boldly down at everyone. She looked so happy, just as everyone else did around you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Attention everyone!” She started, and everyone around you went quiet. “Thank you for coming out to our annual Christmas eve party! We encourage everyone to party with us tonight, and spend tomorrow with your families of course. We do have gifts for everyone to take home with them tonight, and the rule is to wait till Christmas to open them.” She spoke, her eyes darting around the crowd until they locked with yours. An even bigger smile broke out over her face as she pointed at you, then beckoned you to come up to her with her finger. “But, we do have something special for our special guest, Saint, to open up tonight.” The crowd parted and people looked at you, and they were all smiling at you suspiciously. Grace asked you once again to come up to the top of the stairs, and your heart began pounding in your chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, all eyes were on you as you took your spot there next to Grace, and you clasped your hands at your hips as she threw her arm around you and smiled to everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, you more than anyone else here knows how much everyone has enjoyed having you here on the estate with us,” She said, to which everyone began clapping and cheering again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You said quietly. You stood there awkwardly as the crowd died down, and one of the other maids came up behind Grace and handed her an envelope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When we opened our home up to an orphan for the Christmas season, we weren’t expecting to grow so attached to you. Everyone here loves you and your presence, your positivity and generosity, and we decided that you deserve one more generous gift before you leave us.” She said, and as she held her breath she handed you the white envelope. Your eyes lit up as you speculated what was inside. It was light and thin, and didn’t seem to have any thick pieces of paper inside of it. You wondered if it were a check, or a thank you letter of sorts. She had already acknowledged the fact that you would be leaving just next week, but this gift must be pretty important for you to have to open it in front of the entire staff. “So, this is from everyone who lives on the estate. Enjoy, baby.” She said, and you took that as your cue to begin opening it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The envelope was addressed to you, from the entire staff. It was written in Grace’s pretty handwriting, and even had Kylo’s signature on it too. You scanned the crowd as you forced your thumb under the flap and began tearing it open, and was happy when you found Kylo standing next to the front door all by himself. He had a neutral look about him, leaning against the door with an empty glass in his hand. He seemed uninterested which put you off just a bit, but you were determined to enjoy it anyway. Again, it had to be good if you were being made to open it in front of everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You finally got the top open and found that there was one single sheet of paper within the envelope. With shaky fingers you pulled it out, thinking it was a letter from everyone that was going to make you cry. You had your lip tucked between your teeth as you unfolded it, and found that it wasn’t a letter, but what looked to be a job application. You squint your eyes as you looked over the details, feeling the fine hairs on your arms stick up as you saw that all of your information had been filled out for you. For the position “you” had applied for, the words “personal secretary” had been filled in. Your eyes scanned to the bottom of the document where, to your surprise, Kylo had written “hired” at the bottom and signed his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way,” You said, looking up to Grace. Your emotions began to stir as you noticed she had tears in her eyes. “Really? I can really stay?” You asked, to which the staff broke out in a collective “aw.” You couldn’t believe this. You thought for sure Kylo was hinting at the fact that he’d be finding somewhere else for you to live within visiting distance of him, but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>expected him to keep you here on the estate. This was more than you could ask for, this meant more to you than your necklace, your bracelet, and the ability to find information about your parents combined. This was the answer to all of your hardships. A place to lay your head every night, a roof over your head, food to eat, and a job to fulfill. And of course, Kylo to love whenever you wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Saint,” Grace said with a crack in her voice. “We had to fire the last one, remember?” She asked with a giggle, and you had nothing else to say to her. You could only throw your arms around her and break down in your own tears as applause began to rise around you. “Welcome to our staff, Saint. We can’t wait until you officially start working for us.” She whispered, and you lifted your face from her shoulder, seeking out Kylo again and found him now smiling at you. He puckered his lips lightly, blowing you a kiss from across the foyer and you placed your hand over your cheek to indicate that you had received it. Now nothing would come between you and Kylo. Now you didn’t have to worry about ever losing him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me check my chest, my breath right quick;<br/>He ain't never seen it in a dress like this.<br/>He ain't never ever been impressed like this :P</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The party died down. People disappeared into the back rooms to play games and talk with one another, and yet again you were left to mingle about by yourself. Your stomach was full of good food, it was getting late and you could feel your body beginning to crave sleep. You hadn’t seen Kylo in a while, and you were beginning to wonder if he had retired for the night before you had. If there was one thing you learned about him, it was that he preferred to be alone. He hated big crowds, and he hated being around many other people. It was one of the reasons why he often ate his meals alone and stayed cooped up in his office during the day. You didn’t mind, of course. While you did like being around the staff members you were just as content with sitting in the corner of his office playing with his puzzles while he did his work. You were like a magnet to him, drawn to everything about him and refused to let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the hours passed, it got closer and closer to 11 pm and you thought it was officially time for you to find your way out of this dress and take a long, hot shower. You still planned on seeing Kylo that night, holding him close to you and telling him that you were so thankful for his thoughtful gift. Truth be told, you were happy that he kept it from you while the two of you were at the hotel. Being surprised there on top of the steps in front of everyone was one of the greatest feelings you had ever experienced. You could tell this was all his idea too, and he knew it would make you happiest if everyone else was in on it. Again, you loved him. He knew you so well and he loved you so much. Even if he wasn’t expecting you tonight, how could you stay away from him? You needed him. There was no one in this world you needed more than him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Saint!” Said someone from behind you. You turned and saw Priscilla rushing toward you. She had the towels from the laundry room tucked under her arm, looking as if she had just been folding them as you walked past. She dashed down the hall up to you, rapidly trying to catch her breath when she finally made it to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re supposed to be taking the night off like Grace said!” You scolded her playfully, to which she laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, well all of my family live in Europe unfortunately. I’ll go see them a little later on,” She sighed, and you felt bad for her. Almost all of the other staff had left the estate earlier that evening to spend Christmas with their families, yet Priscilla was here working away like nothing was wrong. Didn’t she want to be in Europe, celebrating the season with her family? Perhaps not. You tried not to judge her as she began speaking to you again, this time for a much different reason. “Mr. Ren asked me to fetch you. He says he needs to speak with you privately in his office. Something about a Christmas gift he offered you.” She said, and your lips quirked up in a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it must be important,” You said, checking the hallways behind her to make sure no one else would see you scurrying to his office. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” You said to her, quickly rushing past her before she took your elbow in her hand and stopped you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One more thing, Saint?” She asked, her face suddenly taking on a somber look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, what’s up?” You said back to her, turning to face her as your hands went to the front of your hips. You grew nervous as she cleared her throat, looked you in the eye and you knew whatever she was about to say was going to be hard for her. You thought perhaps she was about to give you a heartfelt speech on how happy she was for you to be living here with her. You smiled, fully expecting that to be what she was going to say. After all, when she was here you were already asleep and you didn't get to talk to her often. You hardly knew her. What else could she possibly have to say to you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to make sure you’re okay,” She forced a smile onto her face for you, but you could tell that wasn’t all she wanted to say. “That, no one is hurting you, or anything like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not at all.” You said, trying to reassure her with a laugh. Her fake smile disappeared, and you knew the conversation wasn’t stopping there. Butterflies rose in your stomach as she licked her lips nervously, shifted on her feet and you could tell that this conversation was making her massively uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one? No one has touched you inappropriately, or shown you something bad?” She continued to pry, stepping lightly around you as if you were a child, to which you shook your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not understanding, Priscilla. I’m sorry.” You said, but in response she sighed rather heavily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I’m trying to ask you, is if Mr. Ren has ever abused you behind closed doors during your stay?” She asked, and your entire world came to a halt all around you. You tried to stand as still as you could, tried not to give off any kind of reaction to her question. Again, you didn’t know her too well. Why would she be asking you about your private life with Kylo?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, why?” You asked, pushing your jittery hands behind your back to hide your nervousness. It technically wasn’t a lie. Kylo had never abused you. Kylo was the nicest man you could ever ask for, but you saw past her polite wording. She wanted to know if he had ever touched you where he shouldn’t have, and for weeks now he was doing exactly that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No reason,” She said with a shrug, relaxing her grip on the towels she held under her arm. “I was just, making sure you were safe.” You frowned at her, still spooked that she would even come up with such a thing. You didn’t even say anything back to her, instead turned away and began speed walking toward Ren’s office. That was not what you wanted to hear at the moment, and you thought Kylo deserved to know right away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When you got to his office you didn’t even bother to knock. You let yourself in and stormed all the way up to his desk where he was diligently typing away on his typewriter. He lifted his eyes and watched you walk all the way up to him, and even though you were trying to hold it together he was clearly able to pick up on your agitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s got you so flustered, princess?” He asked, and you almost broke down into tears right in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priscilla just asked if you touched me.” Was all you could bring yourself to say. Kylo looked at you up and down, at your shaking body and your shallow breaths, and he didn’t seem to react at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you told her…” He started, trailing off and waiting for your answer. It wasn’t what you were expecting. You were expecting him to panic just as you were, to jump up and take you into his arms and tell you everything was going to be just fine. But instead, he was relaxed. The complete opposite of you, and you once again found yourself at a loss of words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, obviously.” You said, glaring at him. He sat back in his chair and passed his finger over his lips a few times, seemingly thinking about what should happen. After a few moments he sighed, moved his typewriter aside and reached into his drawer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a seat, I need a photo of you.” He said, to which your eyes widened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” You asked him, watching him in disbelief as he pulled a black and white camera from below him and placed it on his desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need a picture of you if you’d like to move forward in the investigation of your parents.” He said cooly, and you almost lost your temper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A picture? I just told you that someone might know our secret, and you tell me you want a picture?” You asked him, still feeling panicked about the entire situation. He told you that the two of you had to lay low about your relationship, and just the day after you get back someone was already suspicious. You thought he was too relaxed, and just the sight of him sitting there fiddling with his camera made you uneasy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down, Saint,” He said with a sigh, motioning for you to sit. You did as you were told, reminding yourself once again that you had to trust him and that he had everything under control. “It’s just Priscilla. I’m not worried about her speaking about it with anyone else.” He hummed, switching the camera on. A high pitched buzzing noise came from it as it warmed up, and you could feel yourself beginning to calm. “Besides. You told her no, and that’s the truth, right?” He asked, polishing the lens a bit with his dress shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.” You said, still feeling disappointed that he wasn’t as worried as you were. “But what if she--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Priscilla works the night shift with three other staff members, none of which spend a lot of time with her,” Kylo cut in sternly, indicating the conversation would have to end right here. “It’s okay, Saint. And even if something does come out, I can handle it. These people work for me. They rely on me for their pay and some rely on me for their shelter. If it comes down to it, they’ll either accept our relationship or they won’t. If they don’t, then they can leave.” He said, raising his voice just an octave. He stared at you, seemingly waiting for you to react but you had no idea what to say to him. The two of you had little disagreements in the past, but nothing this heavy and nothing that made him want to raise his voice at you. You stared back at him, watched as he sighed and finally let the tension fall out of his body before speaking to you yet again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, baby. You have the right to be worried,” He said, affirming your fears with an apology. “It’s just, I don’t think you have to be quite this worried yet.” You shrugged, looked down at his desk below you and did nothing to hide your sulking. You did have the right to be worried, because it would crush you if you had to give up your spot on the estate and have to leave him. But, from his reaction, you had to wonder if Kylo thought he had less to lose than you did. After all, if your relationship got exposed he likely wouldn’t have to lose his house or his job. You, on the other hand, had literally everything to lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blinked as he reached forward and took your hand in his, suddenly bringing your attention up to him. He stared back at you with a more softened look, rubbing his thumb over your fingers as he usually did to comfort you. “Hey, I’m sorry. Really.” He cut into your melancholy. You tried to smile at him, told him softly that it was alright but you were still feeling quite down. Internally, you wondered if the idea did have him worried and he just didn’t want to admit it. Again, he had never raised his voice at you before and you guessed that it was a response to a stressful situation. You did come at him panicking, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I do to put you at ease?” He asked you, and again you only shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you’ve done enough.” You said. Because, really, what else could he do? Confronting Priscilla directly didn’t seem like a good idea, and you believed him when he said Priscilla had no one to tell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” He asked, and you nodded your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that I blew it out of proportion.” You said with a hefty sigh. Kylo wasn’t the only one at fault for your first argument. If there was anything you recognized from that conversation, it was that you had “talked back” to him, which would have gotten you a harsh slap over your mouth had you been with Hanagan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need to apologize, Saint. I’ve told you that you have the right to worry.” He said, somewhat bringing your spirits up. “I shouldn’t have gotten short with you and tried to brush you off. It’s my fault.” He said, and in his hand the camera began flashing, indicating that it was ready to fire. “Now, how about we get this photo taken. You’re looking gorgeous in that dress. You’ll catch the eye of every Tom, Dick, and Harry that walks by your poster.” He said with a smirk, and you found that your mood had picked up with his compliments. You looked down into your lap, scooting yourself forward in your chair only to be caught completely off guard when the flash went off and illuminated everything around you. You were stunned for a moment with white orbs floating in your vision as Kylo’s office was very dark at the time, and when it finally faded you saw Kylo pulling the photo from the camera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I wasn’t ready yet!” You protested like a silly child. Kylo only smiled back at you, setting the photo down while clicking his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that one isn’t going to the public,” He said, setting the camera up and pointing it at you again. “That one is for me. Now, give me a big smile.” He said, and you did just that. There hadn’t really been a time you could remember photos being taken of you. Maybe when you were real young for a group photo, but never had someone positioned just you in front of a camera to take a picture. Kylo counted down, and on one the flash went off again, momentarily blinding you while the photo was printed. You had a chance to glance down at the first photo that was printed and saw it fading into frame. It was a photo of you smiling with an open mouth, looking to the floor while tucking your hair behind your ear. You didn’t think it was that flattering, but from the way Kylo picked it up and stared lovingly at it, you knew he was going to keep it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, we can get these posted starting on the 26th,” He said, but you were perplexed when he didn’t shut the camera off right away. “But for now, I need more pictures of my princess.” He said, standing up and motioning you to follow him. Although you were hesitant you got up and followed him, over to the fireplace and sat down where he pointed. The fire was ablaze and crackled behind you, and the hot flames warmed your skin in the most comforting way possible. You ran your hands over your arms and smiled as he raised his camera at you, then blinked as he took another photo. “Beautiful.” He said before instructing you to do another pose. You stretched yourself out, pressing your knees together and leaning back on the bricks and smiling divantly at him. He purred as he set the photo down under a nearby lamp to develop, then motioned for you to turn around. His arm came around you as he began fiddling with your zipper, breathing against your ear and igniting your passion for him for the millionth time since you met him. It was still all the same. The way he made you feel for him, the way he made you crave him. You were under his spell that was lust for him, and you didn’t want to leave any time soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we take some pictures with less clothes on?” He asked, and the question made you nervous. The act itself sounded erotic, yes, but the thought made you uncomfortable. There were a lot of people who lived on the estate, and Kylo left his office unlocked so that the maids could set it up for him in the morning. It was the same with his room; the maids always had access to it. You couldn’t even imagine how embarrassing it would be for everyone to see photos of you naked. You felt awful for depriving Kylo of something he wanted, but he told you when you shared your first kiss that you could always say no to him or anyone else on the estate and no one would be angry at you for it. You decided to take him up on his offer, just to see what he had to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not fully nude,” You said, turning around and facing him as your dress became loose around your torso. “Maybe from here up, with my bra on?” You compromised with him, placing your hand just under your breast. Perhaps since his office was dark enough and you would still be fully clothed it wouldn’t be as bad. You took solace in the smile he flashed you, in the way that he backed up to take another photo while playing by the rules you had set. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine,” He said. You posed the way you wanted, placing your hand on your chest and smiling as brightly as you could to him. “The only person who is going to see this picture anyway is me.” He declared before snapping another photo of you. The camera printed it, then he set it down on the table so it could develop next to the others. “Now, while we’re waiting for those to develop,” He started, stepping toward you and fiddling with his belt. “Why don’t we find something fun to do while we pass the time?” He offered, and of course you said yes. He got down to your level and began pulling the rest of your dress away, and really you should have seen this coming. Nothing other than sex ever came from you and Kylo when the two of you were alone. Especially since the two of you had been away from each other all evening long. Your beautiful, beloved dress was thrown to the side and Kylo’s clothes were placed on top of it, and before you knew it the photos were the last thing on your mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If sex pressed up against a cold window had been stimulating for you, then sex by the fireplace had blown you out of the water. You found that your body reacted to the heat more than it did the cold, and you had honestly lost count of the many times you had closed your eyes and decided to focus more on the difference in temperature than the way Kylo was making you feel. You rode him, balancing yourself on his shoulders while your legs were tucked neatly next to his, and each and every time he caught you with your eyes closed he’d demand you open them for him. It was a balancing act, keeping both yourself and him happy but in the end the effect the difference in temperature had on your skin won. You came shortly after he did, leaning back and allowing as much of the warmth as you could to envelope your skin. This was amazing. Kylo was amazing. You couldn’t have asked for a better way to end your Christmas Eve night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Kylo tied up some loose ends before bed you sat in the underwear looking over the pictures he had taken. You really liked the one he took of you in just your bra. It didn’t look much different considering the fact that it was strapless just like your dress, and Kylo said it was beautiful to have either way. You smiled at all five photos, stealing a look at him as he typed away on his typewriter. You really didn’t like the silence and wanted to hear him talk, so you picked up all of the photos and walked them back over to him, hoisting yourself onto his desk and smiling at him as you placed the photos down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come you never…” You started, suddenly feeling quite shy as if he hadn’t seen every inch of your body before. “You know, finish inside of me?” You finally drummed up the courage to ask. Your sexual history and knowledge didn’t involve much, but you knew that it was a common for a male partner to cum inside of a female. Whenever Kylo came, he came on you or near you, never inside of you. You just wanted to know what it felt like. You were curious, and Kylo had told you in the past that he loved your curiosity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want a baby?” He asked, pulling a document from the typewriter. Your cheeks glowed red in embarrassment, having forgotten that that is, indeed, how babies were made. You were so stupid to think that he would cum inside of you now, and you couldn’t help but to laugh at yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I guess not.” You said as he picked up the photos and set his personal ones in his drawer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe one day when we can get you some reliable birth control you can have a taste of what that feels like inside of you.” He said, pulling open a drawer and placing both the document and the other photo and placing them in. You watched him closely as he pulled out a key from his pocket and locked both drawers. Birth control. It wasn’t something you had ever heard about--let alone considered for yourself. You yawned as you watched him stand and shove the keys back into his pocket, then held his hand out to you. “See, all safe and sound. No one can get to them without these keys.” He said, and you were delighted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” You whispered to him as you took his hand. He pulled you from the table and walked you over to your dress, and as tired as you were you dressed as well as you could. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” You asked him, but the stern face that met you as you looked up from slipping your heels on told a story different from what you were expecting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say yes, but it’s probably best that you sleep in your own room with Priscilla worrying about you.” Your face fell and you grew severely disappointed, but he had a point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’re right.” You said with a sad smile. You managed to zip the back of your dress up as he shimmied on his dress shirt, then he leaned in to give you a kiss on your cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, princess. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, sending you off to your room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleep well Kylo.” You said back to him. It saddened you to think that this was your partner, yet you couldn’t spend the night in his room with him because the two of you were still hiding your relationship. Either way, Kylo was sure this was the best for you, and you trusted him. You quietly stepped away from him and out into the hall, where you parted ways and headed to your room. Tomorrow, you’d celebrate your first Christmas with Kylo on the estate. You had that to look forward to, and your mood started to rise. You deserved this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You deserved your peace with Kylo.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm 90 percent certain that the chapter I'm writing right now is going to be the final chapter. It's so bittersweet, and I'm so happy for Kylo and Saint. I promise that's is a happy ending, and I cried the other night thinking about it. I love my Saint and I'm so sad to see her story come to an end!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Christmas had never been special for you growing up. All Christmas meant to you was the one time people outside of the orphanage cared about you and your sisters, delivering gifts of clothing, cheap toys, and other material items that would mean nothing to you after a few weeks when they’d disappear, or get broken, or what have you, and then you’d never hear from the people on the outside ever again. For 17 years, Christmas was just another day, but the moment you opened your eyes on your 18th Christmas morning, you knew it was going to be different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was just a feeling, just a vibe that you got. The Christmas music playing from below you as well as the scent of freshly baked waffles and pancakes roused you, and with the biggest smile on your face you threw yourself from your room to get ready. Part of you wanted to run down the stairs to see the scene in just your pajamas, like any other child in America no doubt would have done that morning, but it wasn’t just you and Kylo. The majority of the staff had left that evening to go spend the holidays with their families, but you had seen a handful of staff members stick around and knew you still had to keep your guard up. You thought it’ be unprofessional to appear in front of everyone in your pajamas--especially since you were now a staff member on the estate too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you dressed in a beautiful white casual dress, black stockings, and white shoes. You did your hair up in green and red bows and even decided to put on a little bit of mascara for the occasion. When you looked yourself up and down and were satisfied, you headed straight out of your door to join everyone downstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t immediately see anything out of the ordinary until you made it partway down the steps and saw that in the corner of the foyer was a sea of colorfully wrapped gifts of all shapes and sizes posted up under the Christmas tree. You were so astounded, so caught off guard at the sight that you could really only stand there and stare. Obviously not every gift was for you, but you couldn’t help but to wonder which ones were for you. With a big smile on your face you went the rest of the way down the steps and walked right up to the tree, looking through the pile and reading every gift tag you could find. It would seem every member of the staff got at least two or three gifts, not including gifts they gave to each other. The pool extended out past Kylo’s office and out almost into the kitchen, and while you were searching for just one with your name on it, you were interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You turned, smiled wide as Kylo smiled back at you lovingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merry Christmas, princess.” He said quietly, maintaining a certain distance from you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merry Christmas Kylo!” You said much more enthusiastically, taking a step toward him to kiss him without even thinking. You caught yourself just in time, as two of the servers walked from the kitchen carrying a stack of pancakes and a bowl of scrambled eggs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, and Merry Christmas, Miss Saint!” Said Gwendoline, a server you had become acquainted with during your first week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning!” You said cheerily as the two women walked past you and Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be sure to come grab a bite to eat. We’ll be opening our gifts in about an hour!” She said over her shoulder before disappearing into the dining room. You peeked behind Kylo and saw that everyone that had decided to stay on the estate was present for breakfast, and you figured they were all waiting on you to wake and eat before they could dive into the gifts under the tree as well. You turned back to Kylo, wishing you could wrap your arms around him and hug out your nearly uncontrollable emotions with him, but of course all you could do was smile and stare at him. You loved him. You loved what he did for you and you loved how you knew he could understand you just by looking at you. He understood you in a way no one else could, and you were beyond lucky to have him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you heard Gwen,” He said, placing his hand onto your back and pushing you toward the dining room. “Eat up, then we’ll all open the gifts.” He said, and as the two of you started stepping toward the dining room, a sudden realization hit you square in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Kylo?” You said, stepping in front of him to stop him. He stared down at you, his face full of concern as you stared back at him. This season was all about giving. People had been giving and giving and giving to you, but you had nothing in return to give to them. “I, I didn’t get you a gift for Christmas.” You confessed, but it came out more as a lingering question than a statement. In your entire life, you had never given anyone anything for a gift for any occasion, and you realized that this would have been the perfect opportunity to have done so. You could have pulled Grace aside and told her you needed her help in getting Kylo a gift, or gone out on a supply run with the staff and bought something for him with your own money. But you didn’t. It slipped your mind, and now you were panicking about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, as Kylo always did, he comforted you. He placed his finger under your chin and nudged your head up, just beamed at you, settling you down and reassuring you without words that you were forgiven. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are the best gift I’ve ever received, Saint.” He said, and you grew warm and stable once again. With a pleased smile you walked back toward the dining room, but decided that this wouldn’t be the end of it. You’d find some way to make it up to Kylo, even if you had to do it by yourself. But, for now, it was time to celebrate, and you wanted to make your first real Christmas celebration the best it could be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and Kylo sat at opposite ends of the dining room table with the other few staff members that had stayed behind. You ate your breakfast that was made up with lots of Christmas accents, such as Christmas tree shaped pancakes with red and green frosting and sprinkles, and you chugged your orange juice between bites of your eggs and bacon. From across the table you watched as Kylo laughed and raved with everyone else, looking more jolly and happy than you had ever seen him. There was something about him this Christmas morning, something about his energy or his aura that made you believe that he was genuinely happy. Happier than he ever had been. Happier than when you first dedicated yourselves to each other. Happier than when the two of you started having sex. He was so happy, and you had to wonder if he thought the same when he looked at you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Christmas was only the first of many holidays you’d spend with Kylo, and the entire time you spent on your knees in front of everyone unwrapping your second new purse, new earrings, and new clothing, you knew it wouldn’t be your last. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it was with your new years celebration with Kylo. The two of you sat huddled around his small TV in his room watching the ball drop in Times Square, and when it finally hit midnight Kylo wrapped his arms around you and kissed you oh so passionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” He said as his affections became more rough, more indicative that you would be riding him again tonight just like any other night. “They say whatever you’re doing at midnight on the first is what you’ll be doing most of the time during the new year.” He said as he stared down at you. You threw your arms around his neck and smirked at him, with only one thing to say about his prediction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s a good thing I like where I am right now.” You said, to which he laughed at you, before picking you up and carrying you to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>February brought on your first Valentine's day celebration, in which Kylo took you out for a fancy dinner in the city to a restaurant that he rented out. It was just you, him, the cooks, and the waiter, and the large box of chocolates and bouquet of roses he brought along with him. You never would have had it any other way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>March didn’t have any major holidays, with the exception of Saint Patrick’s day where parts of the estate were dressed in shamrocks and other green accents, and on the 17th everyone wore green. You didn’t even know Saint Patrick’s day was an actual holiday, but as you learned, there was a first for everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except for one thing, and that was coming forward and making your relationship with Kylo public.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first few weeks into 1952 were easy, but by the time it was beginning to warm up, and the flowers were blooming and it seemed everyone was in the happiest of spirits, yours began to dwindle. You were still sneaking out of your room every night to meet Kylo in his, then sneaking back into your room before the night maids left in the morning to not arouse any suspicion. Since you had warned Kylo about what Priscilla had said to you you were waking up in his bed less and less, and it bothered you so very much. Even though the job they had made up for you on the estate meant you’d just basically be following Grace and Kylo around all day and taking notes for them when they needed you to, you still felt like you weren’t giving it your all when you were so tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’d ask him when you wouldn’t have to hide, and he’d give you some generic answer every time. Next month when it’s slow for work, or next week when some of the maids were on vacation. You told him it bothered you, and he’d apologize and tell you it’d be soon, but you could see that he was slipping through the cracks. When you sat alone in bed you knew it wouldn’t be soon, and you knew you’d be hiding your feelings for him for a while. It upset you so much, but your love for Kylo was stronger. So each night you played the same game. You got up, walked to his room to spend your personal time together, then you’d walk back to try and get a few hours of sleep before waking up and having breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it worked out for you every night, except for one night at the end of March.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fiddling with your hands, you walked down the halls fully intending to make it all the way to Kylo’s room, but were stopped when you got to the top of the steps and saw that Kylo’s office door was partially open and the lights were on. You had only been intimate with him a handful of times in his office, and you just thought he was wanting to have you there instead tonight, or that he was just working late and needed your company. Either way, you wanted to see him so instead of heading straight to his room you made a right and walked down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your excitement began to fade, however, as you got closer and realized that someone else was in his office with him, as you could hear a woman frantically speaking to him. You furrowed your brows, wondering what could possibly be going on. Was it Cameron, come back to haunt both you and Kylo some more? You picked up your pace, hiding around the corner of the door and peeking your head around and was shocked to find Grace standing there in her high heels and same dress from the day, bent over Kylo’s desk shaking at him. While she was looking anxious Kylo sat calmly staring at her, as if nothing were wrong. You had seen Grace panicking before, but you had never seen her this spooked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you have to say for yourself?!” She squealed, lifting something to her face before throwing it down onto his desk. It looked like small pieces of paper had fluttered down onto his desk, and when Kylo picked one of them up to examine, your heart came to a halt in your chest. Even though he adjusted it in his hand, you could clearly tell that it was one of the photos that he had taken of you on Christmas eve night so long ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Grace,” Kylo started, gathering the other two photos of you in his hand. “I told Allison to fetch me the keys to the wall safe downstairs. I didn’t expect her to snoop around my office while she was at it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I’m talking about, Mr. Ren!” Grace shrieked, causing both you and Kylo to flinch. “How could you do something like this right under our noses?! And, in plain sight! The marks on her neck and back when she got back from ‘Hanagan’s orphanage,’ getting her drunk on her birthday, the way she’d disappear some mornings and no one could find her, and when Allison and Priscilla brought me these pictures tonight Allison told me she walked in on you two sleeping together!” You felt your eyes widen and your head fall back as you took in a deep breath to mask your gasp. You had no idea what to say or feel, but the thing that stuck out the most was the fact that Kylo had lied to you when he told you it was a medic that caught you in bed. You almost instantly felt sick to your stomach, especially when it set in that Allison had stolen the pictures of you from Ren’s drawer somehow. You felt as if your legs had turned to jelly and you were going to pass out. What was Grace going to do about this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be fair, she and I weren’t having sex,” Kylo started as he took all three photos in his hands. “We were just sleeping together in her bed, because she was awake all night long crying about how she was attacked by Cameron.” He explained, and you were so hurt to see him shred the photos in his own two hands. “Are you happy now? The photos are gone.” He said as he leaned over and threw the scraps in the trash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not--Cameron!” She screamed just as loudly, throwing her hands into the air and walking over to his side of the desk. “She, Cameron was actually right this time! Do you know what this can do to you, Ren? Do you?!” She said, placing her hands on his shoulders and he threw her off of him in an instant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a damn thing, because you’re blowing this all out of proportion.” He countered her, to which she sucked her teeth and began fiddling with her hair nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Mr. Ren, you’re wrong! If the world finds out that you’ve been sleeping with the orphan girl that you invited over for Christmas, you’ll be ruined!” She argued, screaming at the top of her lungs. A single tear fell down your cheek as you watched Kylo try and defend you, loudly proclaiming that after you turned eighteen you could make any decision you wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“December fourth, Saint became a consenting adult. I never wanted her before she turned eighteen, and I never did anything to her without her permission.” The two of them began to argue back and forth, with Grace being the one who seemed to be losing control the quickest and Kylo beginning to falter. You kept as quiet as you could until Grace said one final thing that was loud and clearer than anything else she had said, and you thought that you’d truly come to an end with her final words:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint needs to go.” She said, taking a deep breath and placing her hand on her forehead. All of your bodily functions came to a halt right then and there, and before you could talk yourself out of it you were stumbling into the room, shouting the word ‘no’ at the top of your lungs. Subsequently, Kylo was in the middle of telling Grace no as well when you barged in unapologetically. Both Kylo and Grace looked up at you, both of them exclaimed your nickname, with Grace hurrying over to you before Kylo could get to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, my dear,” Grace said with a smile, all of the sudden looking calm. She ran her hand down your face affectionately, all while shaking like she was afraid. “I think your time on the estate has come to an end.” She said, smiling as if everything were normal. As if this was just another conversation two friends would have. As if this wouldn’t single handedly ruin your life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-No!” You whispered to her, searching her eyes for any inkling of a lie, or of a joke. This was a joke. Yes. Kylo would never allow you to be kicked out like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace, leave her alone!” Kylo cried, stepping in between the two of you. “Don’t speak to her like that.” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders and moving you out of the way of the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or what, Mr. Ren?” She said, looking dangerously over at him. “It has to be said! She’s going to ruin your good reputation!” Your jaw quivered as you looked on at Kylo, and he stared back at her completely stressed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s not going to--” Kylo started to say, but Grace pushed him out of his way and once again walked up to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, has Mr. Ren ever molested you?” She asked,  to which you felt as if you were going to throw up. “Has he ever touched you without your permission?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so caught up on the thought that I’ve hurt her?” Kylo bellowed, glaring at Grace while his face began burning a bright red. “What makes you think that I ever would have forced myself upon her?” Grace refused to answer him, instead she kept her attention trained on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has he, Saint? Has Kylo ever hurt you?” Yet again, and you didn’t know what to say. The truth was no, Kylo had never hurt you. He never pressured you into anything, and he sure as hell never molested you, or raped you or anything like that. Do you say no and end the conversation there, or do you say no and explain that you and Kylo had been intimate, exposing your relationship with him once and for all?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell her, Saint.” Kylo scoffed from behind Grace. “Tell her everything. I told you she’s scary when she panics.” Your lower lip trembled as you made the decision for yourself, you had to end this. Kylo didn’t deserve to be interrogated like this and neither did you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo and I have never--” You started to say, to lie and say the two of you hadn’t even looked at each other in a lustful way, only to be interrupted by Kylo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint,” He said, placing his hand over his eyes and rubbing his temples. “The </span>
  <em>
    <span>truth.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He moaned, his voice giving off a terrifying vibe. Your vision went from him to Grace, who was still staring stone faced and expecting an answer. You couldn’t lie to her. You could only hope by telling her the truth that everything that happened between you and Kylo was consensual would mean you could still stay on the estate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was eighteen,” You said, holding your breath as Grace rolled her eyes at you and stepped toward Kylo. “I, I promise nothing happened before I turned eighteen, and he’s never hurt me!” You whined, feeling your throat constrict painfully. You watched as Grace turned to Kylo, shook her head at him and called him a ‘disgusting bastard,’ and you didn’t think your heart could break any more than it already had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” You whined, now unable to hold back your tears. Was it really that bad? Had you really ruined Kylo’s reputation? That was the last thing that you wanted. Kylo had worked so hard to get where he was now, and even though you didn’t want to give him up, you didn’t want to see him fall. Kylo was the only one to look back at you, and you could see that he was hurting too. You stepped a big closer to them, waiting as your fate was decided right there in front of you. The silence was eerie, and you knew Grace was fuming at this realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We welcome an unfortunate child into our home to give them the best holiday of their life, and you prey on her like a piece of meat.” She snarled, and again you shook your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it was never like that!” You once again stepped in, fighting for yourself and Kylo. Grace, however, didn’t seem to take any of it very well. Instead she looked Kylo dead into his eyes and only said one thing:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the end of the week, she needs to be gone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, please, I’m begging you!” You said, stepping in front of them and pleaded with Grace. Kylo wasn’t saying anything while Grace was insisting you needed to leave. It felt like you were in a losing battle, on one hand fighting for your love for Kylo and the other fighting to stay on the estate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We love Saint, we all do, but is she worth losing everything over?” Grace asked him, to which Kylo looked to the floor. No. This couldn’t actually be happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kylo?” You asked him, stepping up past Grace and into his field of vision. He told you he loved you, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Was he really about to kick you out? Was this officially the end? He lifted his eyes to you, looked you up and down and you could see tears escaping past his eyelids.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give us a moment alone, please.” Kylo said to Grace, to which Grace cocked a brow at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure that that’s the best idea?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace,” He grumbled, pointing toward his door. “One moment, that’s all I need.” You turned and watched as Grace side eyed him, before clicking her way out of his office and into the foyer. The door slammed behind her, and there was once again silence and you turned and looked back at Kylo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s happening?” You asked him, begging him for answers. He answered you by placing his hands on the side of your head and running his fingers through your hair, resting his large hands on your shoulders and staring down at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered to you, but that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Grace going to send me away?” You asked, your voice cracking with emotion. You watched as Kylo’s upper lip twitched and even more tears fell from his eyes, and that wasn’t the response you were looking for. “You’re, you’re going to let her send me away?!” You shouted, feeling yourself hyperventilate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Saint,” He said, reaching up and wiping a tear from your cheek. “We can talk about it in the morning. Why don’t you--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>abandoning </span>
  </em>
  <span>me?!” You cried, now breaking down into full blown sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I said, Saint,” Kylo warned, stepping away from you and heading toward his desk amidst your tears. “Look, if you don’t want to go to bed, why don’t you look over the new poster’s we’ve made up looking for your parents?” He said, sounding like he was just moments away from panicking himself. You watched through your tears as he rummaged through the paperwork on his desk, pushing sheets of paper to the floor until he got to just one, then hurried back over to you with it in his hand. “Here, look, see? Does this look good to you?” He offered, but you weren’t having it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not better than my own parents!” You shouted at him, unleashing all of your pent up stress and anger you had been harboring for months now. Kylo stared back at you, giving you more of a readable reaction than he got from Grace blowing up at him. He blinked, looked you up and down as if he didn’t recognize who you were. It was true. You had never been this angry before, and as he shoved the paper into your field of vision you didn’t even bother looking down at it. It was probably all the same as what was made up and put out in December: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you the parent, or know the parent of this child? </span>
  </em>
  <span>With your full name, date of birth, and the photo of you smiling at the camera. You hadn’t gotten any leads in the three months since they had been put up, and you thought you remembered hearing Kylo say he was going to attach a monetary reward if one or both of your parents responded to the ad. That didn’t matter though, because right now you felt as if Kylo had stabbed you straight through your heart with the sharpest dagger he could find.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo stared at you for a moment, then immediately turned to one of side tables next to the lounge area and picked up the same bottle of Cognac he had offered you on your birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, Saint please calm down,” He warned you, pouring a small amount into one of the glasses he had picked up. Your heart broke even more when you realized he hadn’t called you princess since you walked in on him and Grace arguing. Was this him distancing himself from you because he knew you were going to have to go away? “Here, have a drink and calm yourself. I promise we can--” He said, but when he held it out to you to immediately snatched it from him. Without a care in the world you lifted the glass above your head and threw it toward the ground, sending it crashing against the wooden floor of his office and leaving both you and him completely speechless. The alcohol had splashed your nightgown and his pants, as well as left an ocean of glass particles sitting between the two of you. You shook your head at him, stared down at the mess you had created before stepping away from him toward the door. It was his move, and the fact that he wasn’t doing anything told you everything you needed to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You turned to run to your room, to prepare yourself for what would be coming by the end of the week but were stopped by the sound of him stepping on the glass and coming after you. You turned just in time to see him grasp you by the front of your night gown and pull you toward him, and as he rested his lips against yours you fought him the entire way there. You screamed at him, wiggled your way out of his arms and did your best to push him off of you. A desperate look settled on his face as he frantically held onto your elbow, pulling you back into his office like his life depended on it, but you would have none of it. You were done. You couldn’t believe you had allowed yourself to fall so deeply in love with Kylo just to have it all fall apart. You didn’t know who you could trust anymore, as you loved Grace just as much as you loved Kylo; yet she might as well have killed you, dug your grave, and shoved you inside with her actions tonight. When Kylo finally let go of you, you turned and started making your way out of the foyer and to your room. You had just one thing on your mind, and that was you would not allow yourself to be abandoned again.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I realize this chapter may or may not upset a few of you, so I've decided to release the next right after this one. Then I'll post the final chapter tomorrow. Stay tuned. I promise with all of my heart both Saint and Kylo get the ending they deserve.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Back in your room, after passing several confused staff members and blatantly ignoring them when they asked you what was wrong, you sat uncontrollably sobbing atop your bed that you had come to know so well. Three months. You had been in the best situation of your life, surrounded by people you love, belly full of good food every day, for just three months before it was all ripped away from you. You couldn’t believe this. You couldn’t believe that Kylo would do this to you after everything the two of you had been through. He told you he loved you. He told you’d he’d always take care of you, that he’d always be there for you. But not when Grace wanted to kick you out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You rolled over onto your belly, placed a pillow over the back of your head and screamed into the one below you. You had so much on your mind, so many tears that you couldn’t hold back, and so much animosity toward both Grace and Kylo that you really didn’t know what else to do. Curse Priscilla, and curse Allison. They were the catalyst behind this, but Kylo still was the worst in your mind. You thought about how he insisted the three of you talk it out tomorrow morning, but what would be the point? To you, it seemed like his stance was perfectly clear. If he didn’t want you to leave he would have told her right then and there: no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. All he had to say was no.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t. He showed you a new poster searching for your mother, and he offered you a drink. But he didn’t say no. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It enraged you. He was abandoning you just as your own parents had, and you felt like you were once again in a race against the clock. Just as the week before you turned eighteen, you knew you’d be on the streets by yourself when your time was up. Only this time, you had so much more to lose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You flipped back onto your back and stared up at the place where your bed curtain met the ceiling. Unable to do anything else with the heat rising rapidly through your body, you hurl yourself to your knees and take the pink fabric in your hands, violently ripping it from the ceiling and throwing it to the floor. You had grown to love this room so much, but right now it didn’t matter. They’d hire someone else as soon as you were gone that would sleep in this room, that Kylo would no doubt fall in love with, that would lay up under him and allow him into her body just as you did for him. And, the best part, he’d probably let her stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another unearthly howl came from your throat as you took your sheets in your fingers and pulled them completely off, sending your blankets and pillows to the floor where the ripped bed curtain was. This was entirely too unfair, and the only thing you had on your mind was being able to fix this on your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You really weren’t thinking too clearly as you stuffed as many clothes as you could into the big suitcase that Kylo had given you on your vacation. You probably had two and a half weeks worth of clothes, shoes, and jewelry stuffed into the bag, and you topped it off with the expensive shampoo and conditioner, toothbrush and toothpaste, and other toiletries you deemed important from your bathroom. You then lugged the suitcase to your window, where you opened it and stuck your head out into the cool, dark March air. Your clock read 4:30 in the morning, and you knew most had gone to sleep but you didn’t want to take any chances. With all of your might you threw the suitcase from the window and silently watched it land in the grass out in front of the estate, luckily staying intact with all of your belongings being undisturbed. You then closed the window and sighed; at least now if you were caught running through the halls of the estate no one would think that you were leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You threw on any old dress along with more of your jewelry and a hat to take as much as you could with you to wherever you were going to go. Tonight, no matter how silly you looked in the warm March air with a hat, a short sleeved dress, and a sweater, you would be leaving and starting your new life all by yourself. Without another parting word to your bedroom gifted to you from Ren, you closed the door and ran down the hall. You took solace in pin drop silence and the fact that, when you rounded the corner into the foyer, Kylo’s office door was closed and there appeared to be no light shining from underneath. You had formulated this part of your plan last minute, and you knew it was illegal but your mind was set. Kylo deserved this for hurting you so badly, and you had decided that you wouldn’t feel bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His office door was unlocked of course, and in the pitch black you navigated your way to the back toward where his desk was. Behind it was one of the several safes he kept his money and important documents in. You knew the combination to just one of the safes, after he asked you to get a document about his car from it one evening. In there you saw an almost endless stack of hundred dollar bills, and you intended to make them yours tonight. You’d need them more than he would since you were going to be on your own with no job and nowhere to stay anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With just the light from his desk you twisted the dial to each of the five numbers, and when it popped open you pushed the heavy door all the way and breathed in a heavy sigh of relief when all of the money was still there. You took a look down at your two purses that hung at your sides, thinking between them, your wallets, and your pockets you couldn’t possibly take all of it. But, you thought being an adult was expensive so you planned on taking as much as you possibly could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one quick look over your shoulder you dived right in, grabbing as many of the stacks as you could and shoving them first into your two wallets and then filling your purses as much as you could. Your pockets were last, and when you stood up and looked inside of the safe it was half empty. With another look over your shoulder, you kicked the safe shut and decided within a second that you didn’t care. You shouldn’t feel bad for someone who betrayed you so badly, and besides, he had so much money that whatever this was likely wouldn’t even make a dent in how much he had. You kicked the door shut, wincing at the loud clank the heavy door locked upon closure. You thought for sure that you had woken the entire estate up by slamming the safe, so you didn’t waste any time in dashing from his office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out in the foyer alone, you fiddled with the three locks on the doors feeling so conflicted. You wanted to stay so bad, but it had been decided that you were no longer welcome. With the door completely unlocked and your head leaning against it, you began to tear up yet again. Maybe you should wait till tomorrow to see what Kylo had to say. Maybe he could fix this, make it all go away and you’d live happily ever after. A sob escaped from your throat as you tried to force your tears away. No. You couldn’t set yourself up for more heartbreak. Staying here one more night just to hear in the morning from Grace and, perhaps, Kylo would hurt you more than you were willing to admit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You already had everything packed, and you had already stolen Kylo’s money. You had to go through with this. You had to take your future into your own hands for once, and not allow anyone else to decide what happens to you. With one last look at the house you had spent the last 3 months in, the house that had once made you feel so welcome the first time you had set foot in it, and the house that saw your relationship with Kylo bloom, develop, and come crashing painfully down to the dirt you gripped the doorknob. You had come to love this house, but you couldn’t stay. You twisted the doorknob and pulled the door open, locking the bottom lock behind you before stepping out into the early morning darkness. The wind blew your hair to the right and dried the tears on your face, almost as if to tell you everything would be okay. The door closed, and your heart skipped a beat. There was no turning back now. You pushed on the door handle and it had, indeed locked behind you. There was no going back anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You took the first few steps away feeling numb and void, as if this was just a nightmare that you’d wake up from. You took the time to look back up at the white walls, at the lavish windows, and you thought about everything and yet nothing all at once. You looked to your right and saw your suitcases laying in the grass, and it was just another reminder that this was real and this was happening to you. You lifted it with both of your hands, and began heading toward the wooded area, down the road to where you knew where the gate was. This was truly it. After today, you’d never see the estate ever again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So with only the light of the streetlights overhead, you trekked your way down the road. Your stomach churned and your eyes burned as you tried to just move, tried to remember to keep one leg out in front of the other. Your arms hurt from having to lug your suitcase so far, and your neck was hurting from carrying both of your purses on your shoulders. Even just the ten minute walk to the gate was killing you, but you couldn’t turn back. You had made it this far, and you had to keep going. There was only one issue: how were you going to get past the gate? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You furrowed your brows as you dropped the suitcase onto the pavement for a moment, looking up and down the white pearly gates. They towered over you, and with them being straight up and down you knew there was no hope in climbing your way out. The only way the gate was opening was with the dongle that hung in Kylo’s cars--which you didn’t have. You placed your hand on the thickest piece of metal at the very beginning of the left most gate, trying your hardest to figure a way out. Perhaps this was the end of the end. Maybe you’d have to just sit here until someone on the estate figured out you were gone. Your eyes ran up and down that pole, and on instinct you pushed on it as hard as you could. You were thinking you were going to get lucky and the gate would magically open for you, but to your utter shock, it did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your eyes stretched wide as the gate actually did open a few more inches, just enough so that you thought you could just fit your body in between the bars, and without thinking you reached down and grabbed your suitcase. You held your breath and sucked your stomach in as you forced your body through the gate, then held your arm out to straighten your suitcase to fit too. By the time you were on the other side the gate snapped into place, and now you were officially off the property. You fought your emotions hard as you turned and began walking down the sidewalk toward the city. You were now officially on your own, and even though it broke your heart to walk away from what you thought would be the rest of your life, you had to keep your head up and make a way of your own. The first thing on your list: Find a place to stay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walk into the city was grueling. Just to get into the city was barely a five minute drive, but it was essentially a 20 minute walk that was made even slower by lugging a suitcase full of clothes and two purses filled to the brim with money. By the time you considered yourself to be into the city, you were sweating and completely out of breath. The sun was only just starting to rise, and people were beginning to come out and about. Even though you had become quite used to the city your body was riddled with anxiety. You were on your own, and you had no idea how you’d have to find a place to live. You thought that the easiest thing to do would be to find a hotel to stay at for a few days until you could find a more permanent solution, but where would you find a hotel? You stopped walking for just a second in front of a large M&amp;T Bank, standing in the middle of the sidewalk just staring at your surroundings. You weren’t ready for this, weren’t prepared for this at all and were completely overwhelmed when you realized you had no idea what you were doing. You fought the urge to break down into tears again. You couldn’t have a meltdown in a public area like this. You had to keep going. This was New York City afterall. There had to be some sort of cheat hotel you could stay at around somewhere. You sniffed and held your head up high as you bent down and picked up your suitcase. You had to keep going. You would be just fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like you had been walking for ages. Your entire body was aching and, with each passing minute, your spirits were being crushed more and more. You tried to keep all thoughts about Kylo at bay as you stopped and asked anyone and everyone for directions for the nearest hotel, but as the sun was now fully risen you had to wonder if he or anyone else had noticed you were missing. Tears threatened your eyes each and every time a person ignored you or told you no, that they didn’t know where a hotel was, and you truly were feeling hopeless. Again, you stopped and took a rest on a nearby bench, giving your body and soul a rest from the trauma you were experiencing. With your hands folded into your lap and your head hung, you once again allowed a few tears to slip down your cheeks. Part of you wanted to turn right around and find your way back to Kylo, to beg them to let you stay even if it meant you’d have to end your relationship. After all, at the rate things were going for you right now you didn’t think you’d have a place to stay by the time the sun went down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You brought your hands up to your face and wiped your cheeks, blinking to try and clear your tears as people were beginning to fill the sidewalks. You stared straight ahead, watching the cars go by as you rethought every exhausted idea over and over. You’d have to go back to asking. Surely someone in the city would know of a place you could stay. There had to be at least one moderate hotel around somewhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your vision began to sharpen once again, and when it did you stared ahead at the building across the street. It was older, had three stories, and was sandwiched between an old Italian restaurant and a laundromat. It was the tallest building between the three, and when you read the name of the establishment your jaw fell to the ground. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vince’s Motel. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was a miracle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stood, reaching down and grabbing your suitcase you bolted across the street, running in between the cars until you stood outside of the building. Sure, it wasn’t as glamorous as the hotel Kylo took you to, but it would be a place to rest your head for now until you could find something better. For the first time all day a smile had broken out over your face. You had finally done something right for a change, and you knew you were headed in the right direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A bell above the door chimed as you walked in. The lobby was so small and so cramped, essentially half the size of your bedroom back on the estate. The lighting was dark yellow, the floor was made out of wood and covered by a large, stained, red ornate rug. On the opposite end of the lobby sat a man behind a counter reading a celebrity gossip magazine. He didn’t even look up when you walked in, like he didn’t even care. This entire place made you incredibly nervous, but you had nowhere else to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only noise that existed in that small lobby was the sound of your footsteps thudding across the rug as you walked across the lobby to the counter. There was no music or no ambient noise, leaving a very eerie feeling falling over you. Having just come from the lap of luxury, it left a lot to be desired. But you had to swallow your pride, even just for a moment. Once you were alone you could assess the situation further. For now, you just needed a place to rest your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had walked right up to the counter and eyed the greasy, overweight man as he flipped his magazine. You weren’t really sure what you were supposed to do or say when he was ignoring you. At the other hotel everyone seemed so eager to help you, but this was just one man blatantly ignoring you. You furrowed your brows, finally finding the courage to speak up and get his attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” You asked him gently, to which he glared at you from above his magazine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You a debt collector?” He rasped, finally putting his magazine down and giving you his full attention</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” You said, clutching one of your purses close to you. “I was just hoping I could rent a room?” You asked once again, feeling rather nervous. The man only stared at you, looking you up and down skeptically before finally laying his magazine down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you looking for a room by the day, or by the hour?” He asked, lifting a brow at you. You stammered, couldn’t imagine how much more expensive paying for a room by the hour would be. You didn't even know why anyone would need to rent a room by the hour. The thought was just so foreign to you, but it didn't matter. You had to focus on the task at hand, and that was finding a safe place to rest for the next few days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Day, please,” You said, opening one of your purses and tearing apart the paper that kept your hundreds together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many days?” He asked, and you really had to think. How long would it take for you to get into a better situation? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe just five days, for now.” You said, to which he just stared at you for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got money to pay for that, young lady?” He asked, to which you felt a pit open up in your stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-Yes, how much?” You asked, pulling out two of your hundreds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hundred and fifty.” He said, and even though you were still nervous you felt proud of yourself for accurately predicting how much it would be. You handed him two of your hundreds and watched as he put them away in his register, then gave you your change and handed you a clipboard of information to fill out. The only question there were was a name, a phone number, and your room number. You didn’t have a phone number, and you ended up writing in your full name, thinking it would be important later on. When it was all said and done he handed you an old, rusted and discolored key.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Second floor, on your right. Room 6,” He said, and you thanked him. But before you could get very far from his desk he was once again speaking to you. “In case you need another stay, next time you come by you can meet me in my home instead of paying if you’d want.” He said, and you didn’t understand what he was saying at first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No thank you, I have money.” You said, heading toward the staircase. It wasn’t until you reached the top of the steps that you realized what he meant. He was offering you a room in exchange for sex, and when it hit you you almost felt like you could vomit. The only person you wanted to have sex with was Kylo, and you thought that would never be happening again. You frowned as you looked around the dimly lit hall, going over every door until you spied a faded six upon one of them. Each door was a dull burgundy color, and a lot of the paint was chipping away. Even the carpet up here was pulled up and seemingly chewed away by pests. What was even worse was the noises that came from behind the doors. You could hear banging against the walls, men and women arguing back and forth, and a few moments after you got to the top of the steps you heart a women scream so loud you gasped and almost stumbled back down the stairs. It put you off greatly, and you missed the estate so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As you walked up to the door, you noted it looked to be a door to a regular room; like the entire building was just a townhouse with three rooms on each level and the room you were about to sleep in was just a regular room. There was only one way to find out, and when you opened it you found that you were correct. All it was was one room the size of your bathroom at the estate, with one twin sized bed, one love seat, one flimsy table and chair, one miniature fridge, and one microwave. For a bathroom, you had a closet sized room with just a toilet, and outside of that, next to an old wooden dresser, was a sink that you were presumably supposed to be washing your hands with. You shut and locked the door behind you, thinking that this was perhaps the lowest you had ever been in your life. At least in the orphanage you had your sisters to keep you company, and Miss Hanagan to take care of you. Now you were on your own. You had no one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You left your suitcase next to the door and went to sit on the bed. With a heavy sigh you stared at the yellowing, peeling wallpaper that was next to one small, foggy window. Finally, you had a moment to relax, to reflect, to be by yourself and understand the gravity of the situation you had found yourself in. You soaked it all in amidst the sounds of the city coming through the thin walls and windows. There was no more Kylo. No more home. No more nice warm bed, no more hot showers and baths. No more sex. No more love. No more fun. There was just you and yourself, and this shitty little room you’d have to call home for the next few days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first of many tears fell down your cheeks as you embraced your new reality. In moments you let go and allowed your emotions to run freely. You were sobbing so loudly that you were sure anyone from all over the building would be able to hear you. You were in mourning for what you thought you would have for the rest of your life, but that died along with your relationship to Kylo. You knew you had other matters to attend to. You knew you’d have to get out there and find a job, food, a more permanent place to live, and so on, but for right now you needed to sit here and cry. You owed it to yourself, for being as brave as you were to come all the way out here on your own. You were smart, and strong, and able to take care of yourself. You knew you could do it, but you still allowed yourself to cry anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your time in the dirty, run down motel lasted a total of 18 days. You weren’t planning on staying that long, but you failed to find another hotel you could stay at, or an apartment you could rent. Each apartment you managed to look at by the third day wanted 600 to a thousand dollars in rent every month, and that didn’t include electricity. On your first night you counted the money you had stolen from Kylo, and found that you had 14 straps of ten thousand dollars, totaling your money up to $140,000. You had enough money to rent an apartment, but you knew the money would run out eventually. For your first week just buying the bare minimum amount of food you could cook in a microwave you spent $75 or so, plus having to pay for other odds and ends like laundry detergent and money to use the laundromat next door, you knew this money wouldn’t last forever. You needed to get a job, and that’s what you tried to do during your second week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You walked to every shop, every restaurant, every library and every school within walking distance of your motel, and you inquired about a job. Some of them turned you away, and some gave you paper applications to fill out and give back. You’d wait a few days, then return to the placed you applied for only to hear that the manager turned down your application, and you’d have to start all over again on a new part of town. It was so discouraging. You’d sit over your tray of processed, frozen macaroni and cheese every night trying to hold your tears back, to be positive and tell yourself someone would eventually hire you, but not getting anything was hurting you so badly. You’d go to sleep on your uncomfortable mattress, feeling the painful springs poking you in the back, thinking your life was over. You’d run out of money with no job and have no place to live, and you’d have to suffer. You’d cry. You’d loathe yourself, but you’d loathe Kylo more. This was Kylo’s fault. None of this would be happening if he would have stood up for you. You’d press your too thin, bleach scented blanket to your face and dry your tears, but on your 18th night you thought of something that would bring you joy. What did Kylo do when things back on the estate got stressful?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took you on a vacation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were currently stressed out beyond belief, and you needed to get away from it all. Sure, it wouldn’t be at a lavish hotel with someone to wait on you hand and foot, and it wouldn’t be for multiple days. But you thought taking just a day where you weren’t worrying about finding a job, or wondering what frozen dinner you were going to make yourself the next day, or wondering how much longer Kylo’s money would last you, would do you well. And there was only one place you could think of that would be best to clear your head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next day you dressed and hit the streets immediately. You had to ask for directions a few times, but eventually you made it to your destination: Central Park. Kylo had taken you here a few times during your stay with him, and even though you entered on a different side of the park than where you normally went, you felt like you were at home. You closed your eyes and took in the scent of one of your most beloved places. When you had nothing else, you had Central Park, and you were excited to spend some time here by yourself today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though you were trying your hardest to keep Kylo from your mind, you couldn’t help but to seek out the path you always walked with him. With your hands in your dress pockets you took in the sights around you, the happy people, and the sounds of the city. It was more therapeutic than you expected, really, and you decided that you had to make this a regular occurrence. It was like the trail was welcoming you back after being gone for so long, and when you walked up to the Bow bridge and saw the lake that Kylo had taken you ice skating on, you grew emotional yet again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was no longer ice, instead made up of all liquid water and there were small boats sailing across it. You stared at the rippling water, at the people fishing off of the sides and at the beautiful, colorful sails. It was just as Kylo told you so long ago, and you remembered wishing that someone would take you boating sometime in the future. You leaned across the stone bridge and got lost in the memories you had, imagining that you could see yourself and Kylo gliding across the ice from so far away. You were hurting so bad, once again mourning what you had lost almost three weeks ago that you allowed your tears to fall down your face freely. You wondered if he missed you, if he mourned his loss of you as well. Maybe he had moved on. Maybe he found someone else and didn’t care that you had left and were suffering without him. Maybe he had heard from your parents, but had to turn them away because you no longer lived with him. You placed your arms on the bridge and tucked your head into them, breaking down and silently sobbing to yourself. You thought it was silly that you came all the way out here to not be stressed, sad, and lonely, yet here you were once again crying over what you once had. It was torture, and you swore you’d never get over it. Even if you moved on, found love, started a family, and never had to worry about anything ever again, you’d always wish for what Kylo had given you back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You weren’t sure how long you sat there with your forehead pressed against the stone, but eventually it all came to an end when you felt someone step right up next to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still cry when I come here too,” They said, and the sound of their voice was so painfully familiar. You lifted your head and looked to your left and saw none other than Kylo standing next to you, his hands shoved into his pockets just staring out into the lake just as you had. “Hello, Saint.” He said without looking at you, and you truly didn’t know what to do. You stared at his profile, looked him up and down and resisted the urge to simply collapse into his arms. The first thought that rushed into your mind was that he had once again become your guardian angel and that he was here to save you from your awful living conditions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” You whispered, turning away from him and staring straight ahead over the lake. You had been lying to yourself these last two weeks saying you never wanted to see him again, but upon looking up and seeing him standing next to you, you became incredibly relieved. You had missed him so much, but the reality of his return hit you quicker than you thought. You ran away from him. You stole thousands of dollars from him, and now you thought he had finally found you to punish you. As badly as it hurt you, you turned your head and peered down the bridge at your way of escape. You didn’t know what he might do to you, but you wanted to be able to run away just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t. The two of you simply sat there in silence, leaning over the bridge and reminiscing over the same things. Emotions ran high between the two of you, and with each passing second you resisted the urge to tell him you were sorry. This was his fault, you reminded yourself. None of this would have happened if he would have fought for you. You could feel him looking at you, and you imagined he was simply making sure you were real just as you were doing with him. You missed him, and he missed you. There was no fighting your feelings anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I’ve been looking for you?” He said, finally breaking the silence and shifting on his feet. “Me and a few of the other maids. Allison and Priscilla apologized to me after the alarm was sounded when you ran away. They said they were just worried about you, and didn’t know that Grace would react so extremely. They and everyone else have been taking to the streets hoping you’d come back home.” You shook your head at him. You couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that. “I know it was you that took the money from the safe in my office, and I know why you did it, but that’s okay. I’m not angry at you, and I want you to come back home.” He said, sounding sincere and looking down at you as he spoke. Your heart began slamming against your ribcage as you listened to him, and you honestly couldn’t believe that he wanted you to come back. You stared at him, wondering if he was being serious or not and once you concluded that he, indeed, want you back home, you thought of every option you had to answer him with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t tell Grace that you wanted me to stay,” You reminded him, closing your eyes and taking yourself back to that hopeless night. You remembered how afraid you were, how lonely you felt as Grace tried to send you away. It brought back your anger and irrationality once again, and you were running hot wanting to fight Kylo every step of the way. “You let her believe that I was better off out here alone instead of fighting for me. You wanted to talk about it in the morning instead of sticking up for me then.” He was silent for a few moments, then let out a defeated sigh and leaned over the side of the bridge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Saint,” He said, and you didn’t think hearing those three words would make you feel that much better. “And I’m sorry. You’re one hundred percent correct in that I should have spoken up for you that night. I thought it would be better to discuss the matter in the morning after we all had gotten more sleep, and I didn’t realize you were so distraught that you saw no way out other than to run away. I was in the wrong that night, Saint. I was hurting so much when I woke up and you were gone. I missed you, and I immediately wanted to send for a search party but Grace insisted we just leave it alone. I told her she was mad, that you had no experience being on your own and that if I were going to send you away it would be on my terms and no one else's. She thought it was preposterous, assured me that you were smart and would figure things out on your own. But, of course that all changed when I walked into my office and almost all of the money in one of my safes was missing.” He said, looking down at you and, for the first time, smiled at you. He seemed anything but angry at you for stealing from him, and ever so slowly you could feel yourself calming down. “She demanded we hunt you down then, press charges against you and that’s when I told her she had to stop. I knew you were out there alone and afraid. I told her I would have given you more money than what you took, but it didn’t matter to her. She was so convinced that you were just the worst kind of person, but I didn’t care. I still loved you. I wanted you back, and I told her I was going to get you back no matter what.” He said, and now you were in tears once again. “Now, I have you again, and I want you to come home. Please, Saint. Come back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“G-Grace doesn’t want me to come back home.” You said, your voice thick with emotion. By now you couldn’t help yourself. You needed to cry, and your emotions were only brought on stronger when Kylo wrapped his arms around you and held you tight against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Saint,” He moaned, pressing his face into your hair. “Oh, Princess. It doesn’t matter what Grace wants. This is about us. You and I. Grace has plenty of other options if she doesn’t agree with our relationship, but these last weeks have been torture without you, Saint. I would give anything up to have you back in my arms every night. Without you, my life has once again gone back to the hopelessness I felt before you came to stay with me. Getting up, working, and going back to bed. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve smiled since you’ve run away, and contrary to what Grace may try to say, all of the money in the world means nothing to me when the woman that I love is alone and suffering.” He said, and you were truly touched. You realized that this entire time was just as hard on Kylo as it was on you, and both of you had gone back to being hopeless and alone without each other. You needed one another, and Kylo said so himself. Even if it meant he had no riches, no fame or importance, he would always choose you. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest and hugging him back for the first time in nearly three weeks. You missed him, and you wanted to go back home. “I’ll fight for you, I’ll fight for </span>
  <em>
    <span>us, </span>
  </em>
  <span>every day if it means you’ll spend the rest of your life with me, that you’ll never run away again. You and I, we belong with each other, and I’ll swear on my mother’s life that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>take care of you for as long as you allow me to. Just as long as you can promise me that you’ll never run away ever again.” He begged, and that was enough of a proposal for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Kylo.” You said, and it would seem that was the only confirmation Kylo needed. You fell from his arms and he took your hand in his, pulling you along the side of the bridge toward the place the two of you always exited. You were going home, back to the estate where you belonged this entire time, and back to the love and protection from the man you loved the most. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please make sure you have tissues on hand before reading this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two of you walked hand in hand along the path. You had done this before several times with him, holding his hand and walking so close to him, but something was off about it this time. Both of you were stiff, silent, and just disconnected. You had only been apart for so long, and you were so excited to be coming back home, but there was just something inside of you that wouldn’t allow you to just bounce back to normal. Was it guilt, shame even, for stealing from him? Was it the smallest lack of empathy for not fighting for you even though he had already apologized? You stared down the path numbly as you simply wrote it off as a combination of all three, but decided that sooner or later you were going to have to let these feelings go. Kylo told you he’d take care of you. He’d house you, clothe you, and feed you for as long as you wanted him to, and he wasn’t angry at you for anything you had done these last two weeks. There was no reason to be so sulky and sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you held onto him. You rested your head on his shoulder for a few moments and told yourself that this is where you belonged. You tried to uplift yourself and your relationship with Kylo as much as you could. He was here, and he was here for you. There was nothing that would change his mind about his love for you. You smiled at the warmth of his body, at the familiarity of his hand in yours. It was a comforting feeling that you hadn’t experienced in so long, and, for the first time in forever, your skin began to tingle just at the light touch of his fingers. You were reminded of what the two of you had shared and what you had missed for the last eighteen days, and it delighted you to know that you’d be getting all of it back. It was what you needed, and you looked forward to the process of healing with Kylo once you made it back to the estate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You lifted your head up just as you made it to the crosswalk where you were nearly hit by a car, reminiscing on all of the good memories yet again when you felt more doubt settle on your head. It wasn’t Kylo’s personal car that was sitting across the street, it was the limo that he was driven around in. It only made you nervous because you knew everything that had transpired between you, Grace, and Kylo must have been passed through the estate multiple times by now. What was the driver going to think? What was everyone else going to think? Most importantly, what was Grace going to think, and what was she going to do when she saw you? You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that it truly didn’t matter. You were going back to a safe environment, and Kylo would protect you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo didn’t let go of your hand until he was holding the back passenger side door open for you, and you didn’t hesitate to climb right in just as you always had. The driver turned his head to say hello to Kylo, but when he locked eyes with you a wild look of confusion washed over his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well hello there, Saint,” He said, grinning nervously at you. “Long time no see!” You laughed at him, then looked at Kylo as he bent his way into the car next to you. “Sir, does Mrs. Farrel know--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where have you been staying, Saint?” Kylo cut into the driver’s question. You could tell he was about to ask if picking you up was authorized by Grace or not, but obviously Kylo didn’t care. He was more concerned about making sure you had all of your belongings gathered up before taking you back home. You mustered up the courage to tell him the name of the motel you had been staying at, and when you did it went eerily quiet in the car. The driver stared at you in the rearview mirror while Kylo went stiff, and you knew then and there that the motel was more dangerous than you originally thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve met one too many hookers at Vince’s back in the day.” The driver chuckled, but clearly Kylo did not appreciate the joke. In your short time staying there you had seen more than enough escort transactions go down, and not all of them ended peacefully. You hated it there, and you were so happy to be getting out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please tell me that you didn’t meet anyone there for sex?” Kylo asked as he motioned for the car to start moving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, of course not,” You said, trying to calm him. He placed his hand over his head and rubbed down the bridge of his nose, clearly stressed out over the situation and he had every right to be. “Oh, speaking of…” You spoke up just as the car was being pulled from the sidewalk “Here. It’s not all of it, just what I have on me now. I’ll give you the rest when we get to the motel.” You reached into your purse and pulled out the four stacks of hundreds you shoved into it that day and handed them to Kylo. The rest was rolled up in empty shampoo bottles that sat under the sink to hide it just in case someone broke into your room. You were sure he wasn’t expecting his money back, but it was the right thing to do seeing as though he was gracious enough to welcome you back into his home. Kylo took the money from you and laid it in his lap, then took your hand in his again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I truly do not care about the money, Saint,” He said with a sigh. “The only thing that matters is getting you back home safely. You matter more to me than any dollar or cent in my bank account. I hope you understand this.” He said, and you smiled brightly at him. His voice cracked, and you could tell he was trying to hold his tears back again. Kylo was such an emotional man, but very rarely did he ever want to show those emotions to anyone but you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, thank you.” You whispered, then you scooted yourself closer to him and placed your head on his shoulder. Just like the first car ride you took with him, you felt so safe you thought you could fall asleep there on his shoulder. In the last few weeks, you hadn’t gotten anywhere near the amount of sleep you used to get on the estate. Perhaps that would be the first thing you’d do when you got back home. You’d crawl into bed with Kylo and you’d sleep for as long as you wanted in his big, comfortable bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling up to the motel for what you knew would be your last time was an incredibly sweet moment. Holding Kylo’s hand as you confidently walked past the man behind the counter, only to have his eyes bug out when you were sure he thought Kylo was one of your clients, was the best feeling ever. But what was better than any of that was walking out of that motel with all of your belongings knowing you’d never have to come back, and that you’d never have to be alone ever again. By now, all doubt had fallen from your head and you saw the return to the estate for exactly what it was: a physical, emotional, and mental need that was being fulfilled. Who knows what would have happened if you were to stay in this kind of environment. Who knows what would have become of you once Kylo’s money ran out and you were running out of options for jobs. It could be argued that Kylo had saved your life, and you were more than happy to shut the door on that motel for the last time. You were going home, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You smiled as the gates to Kylo’s home opened for the car, and you felt just as excited as you did the very first time you had pulled up to his home. You looked excitedly out the window as the car drove down the wooded path, and couldn’t help but to feel jittery and anxious as the estate came into view. Kylo placed his hand on your back and momentarily brought you back into reality, and when you turned around and saw him smiling you felt yourself melting on the inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome home, princess.” Kylo said in the sweetest way possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome home, Saint.” The driver said shortly afterword. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Home. You had been returned to your home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kylo carried your suitcase up the steps and over to the door, but as always the door was opened for him by your friend Eli. He smiled at Kylo, but when he laid his eyes on you his fuzzy grey eyebrows shot up and a look of surprise ran through his deep brown eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Ren and, oh my, Saint!” He said rather excitedly. “Welcome back, my dear. It’s so good to see you again.” He took your hand and shook it, smiling and looking so eager to welcome you back home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eli, see to it that this suitcase is placed and unpacked in my room,” Kylo said as soon as Eli let go of your hand. “And please make arrangements to have the rest of her stuff moved to my room as well.” He said, but that order caught you quite off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still have my stuff?” You asked Kylo as he took ahold of your hand and began leading you toward the stairs. For some reason, you were expecting all of your stuff to be moved to storage, or donated. You didn't think anyone from the estate was looking for you, just assumed that they thought you were never coming back. It was such a great feeling to know that no one had given up hope, and everyone was expecting you to come back so much so that they left your room and everything perfectly intact for your return. You loved it here. You loved everyone on the estate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, princess,” He said, but before he could continue his sentence the sound of someone gasping from behind you drew your attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint!” Shouted one of the maids, Gloria. “Oh my god, you’ve come home!” She said, and you watched as more of the maids began appearing from the different rooms of Kylo’s home. You smiled as you watched them run up to you, smiling at you and welcoming you back warmly. Just as your locket said, you were important to these people as evident by them being excited to have you back home. It was the best feeling in the world, and when you felt a tap on your shoulder and saw Allison standing behind you, you were frozen solid. She wasn't the person you wanted to see right away, but from the heavy, unsure look on her face you could tell she had something important to say to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, I’m so sorry,” She said with a look of sadness adorning her face. “It was never any of my business of what was going on between you and Mr. Ren. I didn’t mean to cause such a disruption in your life, and I’m truly happy to have you back home. I hope that you can forgive me.” She said with tears in her eyes. You could tell she was remorseful, and you knew this wasn’t all entirely her fault. Grace was the one who flipped out on Kylo, not Allison. She and Priscilla were just looking out for you, making sure you were safe. It was admirable, really, and you told her you forgave her by wrapping your arms around her and hugging her tight. She was your friend, after all, and you were happy to have her and all of your friends back. “I look forward to waking you up for your tea every morning once again.” She said, wiping some of her tears from her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That won’t be necessary,” Kylo cut in gently. Both you and Allison looked at him and found him beaming down at you even though he was speaking to her. “Saint is moving into my room with me until further notice. I’ve already asked Eli to make arrangements to have all of her stuff moved.” The amount of pride in Kylo’s voice as he announced to anyone that could hear him that you’d be moving into his bedroom made you quake, and your emotions were, once again, running high and wild throughout your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then I’m sure Gloria will be pleased to hear that she is going to have two trays of tea to deliver!” Allison said, stepping away from you as Kylo began to steer you to his bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you again, Allison.” You called out to her from over your shoulder. You were never expecting an apology from her or anyone for the matter, but receiving one anyway just reaffirmed the fact that you, indeed, belonged here with her, with Priscilla, Eli, Kylo, and everyone else. With everyone happily chattering behind you, you allowed Kylo to escort you to what had now become your bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were happy to see that everything look exactly the same as when you had left. Same bed, same bedsheets, same lounge area, same fireplace. It was like you had never left, and the one and only thing that was calling your name from this room was Kylo’s bed. The door shut behind you and you didn’t hesitate to rush over and sit down upon it, running your hands over the sheets and taking in the stark difference between this bed and the one at the motel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed this bed.” You said, placing your hands next to your knees and kicking your shoes off. Kylo giggled at you as he ducked into his closet, returning with one of his white shirts that he always slept in and bringing it back to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, why don’t you change into this and get some rest?” He offered, sitting down next to you. “I’ll get the maids to start your laundry right away, and you’ll have nice clean clothes when you wake up for dinner.” He offered, and you were in no position to say no. You took the garment from him and began to undo the buttons on the front of your dress, but before you could get much further Kylo was leaning into you, taking your cheeks in his hands and pressing your lips against his. It was the first kiss you had in what seemed like a lifetime, and you welcomed the contact by wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him back as if your life depended on it. The kiss lasted only a few moments before he pulled away from you, stared back at you with the most love-struck look upon his face and you knew he was just as happy to have you home as you were. “I missed you.” He whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you too.” You whispered back to him, to which he once again lightly giggled at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I’d never see you in my bed ever again,” He said, blowing warm air onto your face. “Like I was saying out there, I kept all of your belongings just the way they were. I was so determined to bring you home, but at the same time I was worried you’d never come back.” He confessed, and you thought it was admirable. “And, and I hope you know that I’ve never stopped loving you. Not the night we had our argument, not the morning I found out you were gone, not when I was searching for you, and not when I found out you took my money. Saint, my princess, my everything, I love you, and I will always love you. I want you to never, ever forget that.” He said, and you watched as a tear ran down his cheek. You lifted your hand to his face and wiped his tear away just as he had done to you several times, and you promised him you’d never forget about his love. How could you, when there were reminders all over the estate about how much he loved you? A roof over your head, food in your stomach, and lots of friends working to make you comfortable and loved. In your head, Kylo loved you from the moon and back, and there'd be nothing that would ever come between the two of you and your undying love for one another ever again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you know that I’ll always love you too.” You said, and he nodded his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, my dear,” He said, falling away from you. “Change and get some rest. I’ll come wake you up when it’s time for dinner.” He said, standing and stepping away from the bed. You watched him as he walked toward the door, smiled as he blew you one last kiss before closing it gently and leaving you to do as he suggested. When you were alone in your new room, you took Kylo up on his offer. You stripped down to your underwear and threw on Kylo’s shirt, leaving your dress on the floor next to the bed. As you let the shirt dangle down to your thighs you promised yourself that you’d move your dress to his dirty laundry hamper later. For now, a good nap was calling your name. You climbed into his well made bed and covered yourself with his sheets, wrapping yourself into a nice warm cocoon and laying your head upon his cloudlike pillows. Within seconds your eyes were closing and you were drifting off, saying hello to the best sleep you had gotten in the last three weeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt like you had only been asleep for ten minutes before the sound of someone’s voice was rousing you not so gently. You had flipped onto your stomach while you were sleeping and noted that the voice was not in the room with you, rather it was coming from just outside of the door. And it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>loud. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Someone was screaming just outside of the door, and the next words that you hear confirmed your fears as to who it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You have lost your god damned mind, Ren!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>They shouted, and after your last encounter on the estate you would recognize the shrill, panicking voice from anywhere. That was Grace, screaming to Kylo about losing his mind, and it didn’t take much to know what the conversation was about. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>When word gets out that she’s back, your career is going to be </span>
  </em>
  <span>over</span>
  <em>
    <span>!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She said, and you sat up as the door handle jiggled there in front of you. Grace was coming to threaten to kick you out again, but you had to be strong. Kylo said he would protect you, that he would never let you leave and he’d never let Grace kick you out. You tried not to let your mind wander as the door opened and in stormed Grace, her hair looking wild as if she had run all the way to your room from her's sweating and breathing shallowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. There she is,” Grace said, without smiling or saying hello or anything. “Dressed in your T shirt, in your bed and everything.” She crossed her arms over one another and cut her eyes at you before turning and tossing a disgusted look at Kylo. “What exactly do you have to say for yourself?” She asked him, but Kylo said nothing. He crossed the room, sat down on the bed next to you and pulled the blanket above your waist to hide your naked thighs and underwear from Grace’s sights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is, is everything okay?” You asked him, feeling yourself panicking just the same way you did the first time this happened. Kylo sighed, looked you up and down before turning and looking at Grace. The look on his face was serious, and it would be now that he put an end to her bullying him into getting you to leave. You looked at the clock that read 5:30 pm, meaning you had only been back home for the last few hours. You didn’t think your livelihood would be threatened so quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm, Grace,” He addressed her, straightening his back and looking as confident as ever. “Why don’t you look Saint in the eye and tell her that she doesn’t belong here. Keep in mind she just spent the last 18 days in a run down, seedy motel with men that tried to solicit her for sex, eating nothing but frozen junk food. Tell her, Grace, that you think that’s exactly where she belongs, that she’s not welcome here where she’s safe and taken care of, and surrounded by people she loves.” He hums, and you know that he’s sticking up for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You repress a smile on your face as Grace grows flustered, her eyes widening as if she couldn’t believe what had come out of Kylo’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t that dramatic,” She said between clenched teeth, looking at Kylo instead of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell that to me, tell the girl who’s lived it these last few weeks. Go on. Tell her.” Kylo taunted her, and it felt so good to hear him fighting for you. Grace’s eyes flash to you for a moment before they’re pointing at the floor but you can’t take her eyes off of her as she makes her way over to you. Your heart was pounding in your chest as she bent over, getting into your face as if she thought you were a child that wouldn’t understand getting kicked out for a second time. For a moment, you could admit you hated Grace, unsure of how she’ had gone from a mother figure for you to your least favorite person on the planet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saint, honey,” She started with a deep sigh. “It, it really is best for all of us, particularly for Mr. Ren. If he loses his business then all of us will be in trouble. We’ll all be jobless and homeless, and you wouldn’t want to be the cause of all that, would you?” She asked, once again cooing as if you were a child. You shook your head, flinched when Kylo placed his hand upon your knee and patted you, then looked you right into your eyes and said:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent. Now you may find your way off of the estate.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, your eyes widened. Was he serious? Did he really pour his heart out to you just to kick you off of the estate a second time? You repositioned yourself on the bed, feeling your stomach turn as you truly thought that was the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, that this is the way it has to be, Saint,” Grace said, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked away from you. “But you have to think of--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t talking to her, Grace.” Kylo said, turning and looking at her. Your jaw fell to the floor as you looked at him, replying what he said over and over in your mind. He was firing Grace here right in front of you, all for trying to kick you out again. You watched as Grace’s head whipped around so quick, and her eyes went so wide when she looked at Kylo and you could tell she didn’t believe it either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then who </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>you talking to?” She asked him and, with a childish giggle, you couldn’t help yourself but to rub salt into her wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, I think.” You said quietly, looking down into your lap</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard what I said. Leave my home, Grace. Your duties are no longer needed.” Kylo chimed in, but Grace was left speechless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are, are you being serious right now, Mr. Ren?” She asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am,” He said, taking your hand in his. “I love this woman more than you could ever know. If you can’t accept that then I’m afraid I can’t have you around.” Kylo said with a shrug, and then you really saw Grace panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She babbled on and on, telling Kylo that this was the biggest mistake he had ever made. She told him the media would tear him apart, that his life would be ruined, but through the entire thing Kylo stayed strong. He told her it didn’t matter, that he loved you and nothing would change that. He couldn’t have her stomping around and making you uncomfortable, so if she couldn’t accept that then she would have to leave. In the end, Grace was left sobbing in front of you, turning away and hanging her head in shame as she left to pack her things. You looked to Kylo, wrapped your arms around him and pushed him down into the bed, smothering him with the love he deserved. He was your savior, your one and only, and the man you loved. He wasn’t going to let anyone bully him into kicking you out, and you knew it came from a place of true, unconditional love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>Ten Months Later</span>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Princess, it’s time to get up,” Kylo says to you, shaking your back ever so gently. You force your eyes open and found the light blue light of the early morning staring back at you, with Kylo stepping into your vision just moments later. You groaned, rolled over onto your back at stared at him, wondering why he was waking you up so early. “Come on, we’ve got to go. We have something important to attend to at one of my offices.” He said, but that meant nothing to you. It had been a long time since Kylo had woken you so early, but you thought it had to be pretty important so you decided to comply with only minimal complaining about how tired you were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kitchen had a small breakfast ready to go for the two of you: a banana and coffee for Kylo, and a small blueberry donut and a bottle of water for you. Both you and Kylo packed into the back of his limo and soon you were off, even though Kylo hadn’t even told the driver where the two of you were going he still pulled off and drove around the statue, down the path and to the gates. Kylo stared sweetly at you as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into him, whispering that he had a surprise for you. A surprise. A surprise that made you have to wake up at seven AM and go to one of his offices to retrieve. You closed your eyes and tried to gain that much more sleep in the meantime. You had to trust that this surprise would be worth your tiredness. After all, Kylo was good at surprising you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the year you had known him, Kylo had surprised you with your first kiss, your first round of sex, and more recently your first car and driving lessons. He surprised you with your very own little orange kitten that you named Huxley, and he had free roam of the estate even though Kylo was not fond of him at all. He even surprised you with a full ride to New York University, where you planned on starting the next Fall to study Social Work. Of course, there were other little odds and ends that he surprised you with regularly: chocolates, roses, jewelry, dinners out, and so on, and each and every surprise you loved and cherished as if it were your last. You thought nothing different of this surprise, so when the car pulled up to his office and he was excitedly grasping at your hand to lead you into his building, you followed quickly behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t the first time you had been in this office. You had been here one or two times when Kylo asked you to accompany him to his office parties and business meetings and so on. You smiled at Heather, the receptionist at the front of the building as she smiled back at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What room?” Kylo asked her in a panic, and for the first time you could feel his hand shaking in yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” You asked, placing your hand on his arm and trying to calm him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“118, third floor.” She answered with a huge, caring smile. Kylo nodded at her, then proceeded to drag you over to the elevators. He never answered you as to whether or not he was okay, but stepping up to the elevator you just assumed he was nervous about the ride up. He hated these things with a passion, so you just stood close to him and held him the entire ride up. When you finally reached the third floor Kylo launched himself from the small space and began speed walking down the hall. You had never seen him this excited about anything before, and you thought whatever he was about to show you was going to be good. You kept track of the numbers on the wall, starting from 100 all the way to 118 on the left and when you got there Kylo stopped cold in his tracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, this is yours,” He said, fishing through his coat pocket and pulling out an envelope. “I received this in the mail last month, and I’ve been holding it until I thought the time was right.” He handed you the envelope, which was addressed to him. It had already been opened and read you were sure, but that was okay. It couldn’t have been that important if it was addressed to him and not you, but you decided to read it anyway.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To my Long Lost Daughter,</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reading the first line of the letter, it felt as if ice had begun running through your veins. Long lost daughter? Could this really be what you thought it was? You quickly moved onto the next line as your palms began to sweat around the folded piece of paper, removing everything else from your mind as you focused solely on the beautiful words written before you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it is to know that you are alive and well after all of these years. I saw your photo posted outside of the grocery store near my home in upstate New York, and I knew right away it was my daughter because you look so much like your father; just as you did in my arms 19 years ago. I couldn’t believe that you were in the care of Billionaire Kylo Ren, but I realized that it only meant my predictions of you being a brilliant, important young woman were true. I owe you an apology, sweet daughter of mine, for leaving you at that orphanage so long ago and never coming back. I abandoned you, and your father and I never made good on the promise that we left you with. I owe you an explanation, and I hope that you can find it in your big, loving heart to forgive me one day after I tell you the story of how you came to be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had you when I was 14, and your father as 16. My parents kicked me out of my home, as did your fathers and we were all alone. For the entire nine months I was pregnant with you, your father and I begged on the streets for any money we could get, and as you can guess we didn’t get much. The night I went into labor we had enough money to rent a hotel room, but unfortunately I was in labor for a lot longer than just a night. The management came banging on the door forcing us to leave. All day long we roamed the streets looking for another place, any place where we could have our baby, and we ended up sneaking into the same motel and hiding out in their public restroom for the next two hours while I pushed as hard and fast as I could. A hospital stay would have costed us too much money, money that we didn't have and we were too worried they would simply take you from us since we were so young, homeless, and jobless. You, my dear daughter, were born on the toilet of a dirty public restroom, and the moment I held you in my arms and looked at your perfect, angelic face, I knew you deserved better. With you wrapped up in your father’s jacket we made a mad dash from the motel to the nearest payphone, where we made desperate calls to our parents begging them to let us bring our baby to their home, but they both said no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your poster listed your birthday as December the 4th, but that was the day we dropped you off at the orphanage. Your actual date of birth is November the 30th, at exactly 12 noon. In those four days, we had to decide what we would do with you. Your father managed to steal diapers and baby clothes and blankets to keep you warm as we slept under a bridge every night, and you fed from my breasts like there was no tomorrow. Neither of us could find a job, and as we cuddled you under that bridge in the piercing cold, we knew we couldn’t allow you, the most innocent soul in the world, to suffer with us. We made the heartbreaking decision to drop you off at the orphanage the night of the fourth, trekking through the snow and knocking on the door at midnight. With tears in my eyes I asked that woman to please take care of you, and to remind you everyday that your father and I love you and we’d be back as soon as we could to adopt you back. I learned that night that the hardest thing in the world is having to hand your baby over to a stranger and trusting that they’ll be able to take care of them. In all of my years, I had never cried so hard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your father and I cried and cried for days after dropping you off, and he promised me he’d be enrolling in the military in order to make a life for us. It was our only option, and with empty arms we went to my parent's house and carefully explained our plan. Luckily they let us stay until your father, Gerald, packed up and left for the Army, giving me a kiss on the cheek and promising me we’d get you back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>While he was deployed I went back to school, earned my high school diploma and happily got a job as a secretary at a nail salon. Your father would write me letters from overseas, and I’ll always think the most handsome photo of him is the one I’ve attached for you, of him in uniform. He’d come back every few months and spend time with me, telling me that he was establishing a life for us and he couldn’t wait to come back more permanently and bring you back to the home he planned on buying us. I dreamed of the day I’d have you and him in a big comfy house, living happily together. I wanted to raise you, to teach you your ABCs and see you off on your first day of preschool, but those days were not meant to be. One day I received a letter from the U.S. Army that stated your father had been killed in the line of duty, and the next time I saw him was in a casket with the American flag draped over it. I was crushed, and I knew then I would never, ever have the family I dreamed of. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I worked two jobs trying to save up enough money to buy a home for us, but I never had enough once I was on my own. I was 20, living in a ratty, studio apartment and I was hoping that would be enough for them to let me bring you home. I petitioned for adoption three times, and each time I was denied because I was unwed and working so many hours. Over and over my world came to an end, and I’m so sorry to say, but I gave up on you. I thought I was never going to see you ever again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then, 19 years later I saw your poster, and I knew that was the sweet baby girl that gave me so much hope while I was living under a bridge. The baby girl that pushed Gerald to fight for our country, for you and for I, and the baby girl that made me better myself for her. I had no need for the money. I have plenty of money for myself. All I wanted was you back, and I was so elated to make this meeting with you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So please, when you read this letter look deep into your beautiful heart to forgive me. I heard you earned the nickname “Saint,” and I couldn’t agree more that it is the most perfect nickname for you. Please know that your mother is just a human, writing this letter with tears in her eyes and has made a lot of mistakes. But the one thing that I’ll never call a mistake is bringing you into the world to bless all of mankind with your beautiful, spirit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, dear daughter of mine,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Rosalynd Guilford. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As you read over the final line, you turned and looked at Kylo in confusion. Why had he held this letter from you for so long? Here you had proof of your mother and father existing, and he kept this from you for a whole month. Your first instinct was to get angry at him, to question him about his intentions until you realized that the letter mentioned two key things: A photo of your deceased father, and a meeting with you. Your head whipped around to the door as the realization hit you like a harsh slap to the face. Kylo brought you here and gave you this letter because you were to meet someone important today. Without saying anything to you, Kylo ducked his head down and moved to open the door, stepping out of the way so that you’d be the first to walk into the room, and there you found exactly what you were expecting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman faced away from you, sitting in an office chair at a large round table. Almost as soon as you stepped into the room she was pushing the chair away and standing, and when she turned around you face you your heart stopped in your chest. She had the same eye color as you. She had the same hair color as you. She even wore nearly the same style of dress as you, and the same flat shoes as you. The emotional, strong look in her eyes must have mirrored yours as well. If her features didn’t immediately indicate that this beautiful woman was your mother, then the framed, sepia toned photo of the handsome gentleman in an Army uniform that she held in her hands most definitely did. And she was right. By your standards, the man looked exactly like you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Guilford," Kylo said, pushing you further into the room. “It is my honor to present your daughter to you, Saint.” He said, and you watched as her lower lip began to tremble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My, my baby?” She asked, stepping toward you. “You’re my baby?” She asked,  but you didn’t say anything back. You had what you had been looking for your entire life, and that was your own two parents here in the same room with you. You collapsed into her arms, finally knowing what it was like to receive a hug from your mother. You had spent so much time thinking your parents were monsters who didn’t want you, that your mother could have been a drug addict that had you taken away from her. But that wasn’t here. She was here, and she had loved you all this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here in this little meeting room, Kylo had made good on your Christmas wish, and your family had become complete. You had your devoted mother, your patriotic, handsome father, yourself, and you had your other half, Kylo. You now knew that this was all you needed in your life, and even if you had nothing else, as long as you had these two humans at your side, you would be set. The undying love you felt from both of them plus the photo of your father topped any feeling you had ever felt, and you were certain that your life and everything that had led up to this moment, had been worth it to you. You had just lived through your happily ever after. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It was torture having to write this, and then having to edit it again because I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes. <br/>I hope that you've enjoyed following Saint's story with me. This is truly one that's touched my heart in more ways than one, and I am so, so very sad to see it come to an end.<br/>As always, thanks for reading, and for any comments and kudos that have been left. <br/>-Jenn Noir</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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